Shadows & Daggers: A Rogue's Love Story
by RoksanaLyasin
Summary: The war against Corypheus is taking its toll, and Cullen is struggling to balance his role as Commander of the Inquisition with the personal demons that haunt his dreams and thoughts. He finds himself wishing for something more, for something beyond the missions and battle. He never expected that 'more' could come in the such a wicked and sultry package. Cullen/OC.
1. The Belle of the Ball

**_S_ _HADOWS_ _& D_ _AGGERS_**

 ** _A Rogue's Love Story_**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **The Belle of the Ball**

 _The Winter Palace_

 _Halamshiral, Orlais_

The music did not do justice to her surroundings. Although the ballroom was filled with polite conversation, Leliana could sense the chaos. The political discord of the Orlesian civil war neared its peak, ready to culminate in this very room. Despite the serious nature of the mission, she found herself revelling in the secrets that were revealed in each look and whisper. So many scandals in one room, accessible, waiting to be leveraged.

'Leliana.'

She turned from watching a couple across from her, disappointed that he interrupted her just as the argument was getting juicy. A handsome elf stopped beside her; his militaristic attire matched hers.

'Inquisitor,' she said, 'what have you learned?'

'Nothing more, but I'm yet to enter the Royal Wing. I bring some information from Bull.'

'Yes?'

'He's been watching a noble.'

'And?'

'He cannot get a read on her.'

Leliana glanced sideways. 'That is unusual for the Qunari.'

'He finds it quite suspicious. I thought it might be worth letting you know. You and Josephine have better connections here than we do, for obvious reasons. She entered the ballroom ahead of me. You'll see her,' he said, subtly bowing his head in her direction, 'she also dropped this.'

He passed Leliana a note sealed with a rich green wax. She tore the seal, quickly scanning the fine script. As she read, she felt her eyes grow wide.

'Hold onto this. Our options may be more flexible than we thought.'

Malakar nodded, tucking the note back into his jacket.

'I best move on. This party is beginning to get tense.'

'Of course,' Leliana said absently.

Leliana scanned the room, searching for a new noble among the crowd. Across the dance floor, she spotted a woman in a dark gown, her corset the colour of serpentstone. The green stood out among the pale gowns of the Orlesian women, shimmering as she wove between the other nobles. Eyes followed her as she passed, many peeking around their conversation partners to catch a glimpse at the woman in the striking gown. Unlike the men and women around her, though, she did not wear a mask.

 _Interesting._

Leliana kept her eye on the noble as she moved through the crowd, working her way around the dance floor. She stopped beside Josephine.

'Do you recognise the woman in the dark gown with the green corset?'

Josephine glanced through the crowd, easily spotting the striking dress.

'She is certainly eye catching. That gown is beautiful,' she said, arching a dark eyebrow, her interest obviously piqued, 'but no, I don't believe I have seen her before. Yvette?'

Her sister shook her head delicately. 'I do not recognise her either.'

'Then what is she doing here?'

'Enjoying the party?' Yvette said with a soft laugh, 'that is what most of us are here for, and the potential of a scandal, of course.'

'Yvette, you are not helping,' Josephine snapped softly, 'we know the names of everyone here. Except her.'

'We need to know who she is,' Leliana said, 'for all we know, she has a hand in this civil war.'

Leliana left Josephine's side, still watching, listening. The noble did not move from beside the balustrade. Her gaze remained on the dancers, a soft smile on her lips. Leliana understood why the Iron Bull had been so disconcerted: her face was in the open, unmasked, but the smile on her lips only concealed a blank canvas, no true hint of intent or emotion legible on her skin.

Leliana approached the Commander, delicately squeezing past a crowd of swooning women.

'Commander Cullen, a moment?'

'Of course,' he said before he excused himself from the throng, pulling at his collar, his eyes darting. He was clearly ruffled by the attention. 'Thank the Maker. These women are like rabid wolves. I have hardly enjoyed a moment of peace tonight.'

'Unfortunately, I am not here to save you from them, so much as to send you to the wolves, so to speak,' Leliana said, 'I need you to dance with someone.'

He baulked. 'What?'

Leliana subtly tilted her head. 'See the woman in the dark gown?'

Cullen glanced over to catch the colour but did not focus, still too stunned by Leliana's announcement.

'Yes, what of it?'

'I do not know her, and neither does Josephine. We have no idea who is orchestrating this assassination threat, so we need to know everyone here.'

He pursed his lips, unable to hide his frustration.

'Leliana, I have spent the entire night so far deflecting requests from these women. I _do not_ dance. It is not part of the Templar repertoire,' he snapped tersely, 'besides, I am no good at this game. Why don't _you_ dance with her?'

She sighed. 'Your loss, Commander.'

Leliana turned on her heel. He watched her leave, stunned by the exchange. He stepped towards the balustrade as Leliana approached the stranger in the dark gown, offering her hand for a dance. To his surprise, the woman accepted, allowing Leliana to lead her to the dance floor.

When his eyes fell upon her fully, he felt a flash of regret spark in his stomach. Dark curls framed her exquisite face, her high cheekbones softly dusted with powder to highlight them. When she smiled at Leliana with wicked red lips, he felt his stomach dip. Suddenly he wished he had been less hasty to refuse Leliana's suggestion.

* * *

Leliana watched the noble's face with curiosity as they danced, still searching for any hint of emotion to betray intent.

'We will create quite a scandal,' the woman said, 'the court will talk of nothing else for weeks.'

Leliana rolled the words in her mind. The woman spoke as if she savoured every word that her lips crafted. Her accent was polite and refined, but ambiguous; it lacked the lilt of the Orlesian court but was softer than the firm pronunciation found in the voices of Tevinter Altus' like Dorian.

'Let them talk,' Leliana said, 'their words do not hold my attention when compared to you. I must admit, my Lady, that your name escapes me.'

'That is because you do not know it, nor have you yet to convince me to give it.'

'I must work harder, then,' Leliana said as they twirled, 'to earn it.'

'And why do you wish to earn my name?'

'Such a beautiful face is worth remembering.'

'Then paint a picture in your mind,' she said, 'it will be all the sweeter to retain some mystery to this evening.'

'We face a civil war,' Leliana said, 'there is mystery enough in such turmoil. Would you deny me a beacon in the darkness?'

'Except even in uncertainty, there is no true mystery but for that which we allow to mystify us,' she said, 'there are decisions to be made tonight, and the wind will favour whom it deems worthy. It only appears to be a mystery to us now as we wait with bated breath, but future generations will look upon it with the hindsight, and it will appear obvious to them, as our acceptance of whatever fate the Maker writes should be to us.'

'So you will leave me to wallow in my uncertainty, my Lady?'

The song stopped, and they stepped apart. The stranger curtsied, her beautiful gown shimmering in the light of the ballroom. Leliana bowed.

'A name for my Lady Nightingale then, in exchange for such a wonderful dance. But only one. I will leave you to dwell on whether or not I give it honestly.'

'My Lady?'

'Valina.'

After a final illusive smile, Valina turned from her, moving up the steps and into the crowd once more. Leliana returned to Cullen's side. He cleared his throat, turning from the dance floor.

'She is impressive,' Leliana said, surprised to feel flustered. She flicked her fringe back from her face, her cheeks flushed. 'She only gave me one name: Valina. But she has a mastery over the game which would rival even the most skilled nobles in this room. It would not be a stretch to assume she is herself is from the nobility, although I could not tell you from where she hails.'

'Is she involved?'

'No. I did not get that feeling from her. She is an observer, interested in the results.'

'As are we.'

'As is everyone,' she said, glancing around, 'we can only hope that they are not bloody.'

Cullen watched Valina from across the room, feeling his stomach dip with regret once more.

'Can we learn more from her?'

'Perhaps,' Leliana admitted, glancing sideways at him as he shifted on his feet. His demeanour had changed since she returned. He had been irritated before, but now he was curious. Before Leliana could question him, he walked away, his gaze focused on Valina.

Cullen steeled himself, then eased his way through the crowd. He dodged the glances of women he had previously rejected, his steps nearly faltering as he neared her. He fidgeted with the wrist of his gloves and smoothed his jacket, wishing again that he had made time to have it taken out before the ball. He felt hot, the collar suddenly far too tight. He cleared his throat, then marched the last few steps.

'My Lady. May I have this dance?'

'Commander Cullen, is it?'

'Yes, my Lady.'

'I thought you didn't dance,' she said, a soft pout on her lips as she gazed up at him.

He felt a nervous smirk pull at his lips. 'You heard that?'

'I heard enough. Or, I read enough, I should say.' She glanced at his lips, and he felt his skin heat beneath her gaze. 'Your lips are very… expressive, Commander.'

'I admit that I have had to deny a few requests this evening, but you and Lady Nightingale have convinced me.'

'She is an exquisite dancer. I rather enjoyed her company. Perhaps she has stolen your chance, Commander?'

'Perhaps?'

His eyes darted down when he felt her hand on his chest. His muscles twitched beneath his coat as she smoothed the blue sash, her touch lingering.

'You may convince me yet, handsome.'

He opened his mouth but found no words. Her gaze captured him, her eyes a richer green than her gown, shining like two jewels among a hoard of treasure he wished desperately to take for his own.

'My Lady…'

A voice boomed at the other end of the ballroom, and he dragged his eyes away. The Inquisitor stood with Celene and Gaspard, the trio overlooking the dance floor. From their composure, clearly, the impasse was to end. In his distraction, she left his side, but when she slipped through the door, she looked back with a smirk on her lips.

'Goodbye, Commander Cullen.'

* * *

 _Skyhold, Inquisition Fortress_

 _Frostback Mountains, border between Ferelden and Orlais_

There had been little rest after the events at the Winter Palace; the return trip to Skyhold had been hasty. Cullen was weary, but they had yet to debrief and discuss the consequences of the alliance that had been formed, the end of the civil war.

Leliana followed closely behind him when he entered the war room, while Josephine and Malakar, the Inquisitor, were already waiting inside.

'What's our situation?' Leliana asked.

'The civil war is officially over, and the Orlesian court is stabilising,' Josephine said, reading some notes from her board, 'there are a few nobles that are holding out, but I have contacts who will persuade them to confirm their support for the Inquisition.'

'I want to send some scouts out to find Valina. She could be a valuable agent,' Leliana said.

'We have no idea who she is. _Valina_ is probably an alias.'

'We need to make powerful allies, wherever we find them. This woman knew the workings of the court. She has contacts, and probably some very powerful information if it is used correctly.'

'How do we know she would be an ally?' Josephine asked, 'that is an assumption, and it could be a dangerous one.'

'Because she gave me one of the secrets of the court which we used to leverage the alliance.'

'While you danced?'

'No,' Malakar said, 'she dropped it when I followed her to the ballroom. She wanted us to have it.'

Josephine sighed. 'What do you think Cullen?'

He glanced up, shifting on his feet for a moment.

'Leliana's right. If she has information that can help us, then we should find her.'

'You're not answering out of a desire to see her again, are you, Commander?' Leliana asked, smirking sideways at him.

'Don't be daft.'

'You asked her for a dance, did you not?'

'I did, but it was in the hope that she might reveal more.'

'More what?'

He brought his hand up but dropped it in his frustration. 'Maker's breath… more _information_ ,' he said, 'but she left when the alliance was announced.'

'I'm sure you would have charmed her, Commander.'

'Can we move on?'

Josephine smiled at him but obliged.

'Well, I have heard of a Valina Voclain, but the Voclain family has rarely dabbled in court affairs in Orlais for the past three decades since the daughter's scandalous marriage to a Tevinter Altus.'

'This woman did not strike me as a mage,' Leliana said, 'her physique was more like a rogue.'

'Her physique?' Cullen asked.

'She was not overly tall, but she was strong. Her grip alone was enough of an indication that she has had duel weapon training. What did you think I meant?'

'Nothing,' he said quickly, 'I must just be tired.'

Leliana glanced sideways at him but did not comment. 'We've done all we can for the moment,' she said, 'I'll send out some scouts. I think we all need to rest.'

They filed out of the war room. Cullen returned to his quarters, thankful to be back in familiar surroundings. He went to his desk, standing over it for a moment. He leant on the heavy frame to scan the messages left during his absence from Skyhold. Finding nothing that could not wait until the morning, he went to his trunk. He was relieved to see that it had been carried up from the cart. He unpacked a few items to take them up the ladder to his room, not wanting to have to lug the whole trunk up. As he unfolded his formal attire, something fluttered to the stone floor. He glanced down at the black cloth, placing his jacket back in the trunk. He picked up the material. It was soft as silk, sliding against leather clad hands until he tightened his grip.

 _Gloves?_

His mind flashed back to the Palace. Valina had worn a pair of short black gloves. Had she slipped them into his pocket when he had been distracted by the announcement? Or when she had been stroking his chest?

He felt his skin tingle at the memory and rubbed absently at the sensation.

A knock at one of the doors to his quarters interrupted his musings. He turned, hiding the gloves behind his back as the middle door swung open.

'I don't mean to intrude, Cullen. I know we just got back, but I desperately need a game of chess to clear my mind.'

'Dorian.'

The mage smiled at him, his moustache lifting. 'The one and only. Come, Commander. I dare say you need the distraction as well.'

Cullen gripped the gloves tighter, turning to grab the chess set from a shelf on the book case. He used the movement to disguise his hands, tucking the gloves into the waist of his pants.

'Indeed.'

They moved to their usual spot and set up the board. Cullen found it relaxing to play, the game reminding him of a quieter time when he would challenge his siblings, especially his sister. Dorian was a formidable adversary on the board, but the mage had proved to be a fierce ally to the Inquisition. As a Tevinter Altus, Cullen had questioned his presence at first, but the more time Dorian spent among the Inquisition, the more he proved himself loyal.

'Despite a few sideways glances from some Orlesians, I rather enjoyed the Ball. It was refreshing to get out of my utilitarian robes for an evening, at least, and immerse myself among the scandal of the court,' Dorian said as he made a move, 'I must say, though, the red is a bit striking. I suppose that was the idea: to be seen.'

'Our visual presence was necessary, just as much as our covert one.'

'Indeed,' Dorian said, smirking, 'I hear that Leliana caused quite a stir in the ballroom.'

'Mm?'

'And that you wish you had.'

Cullen looked up from the board, and Dorian quirked a dark eyebrow. His smirk seemed permanently branded on his lips, and Cullen feared the suggestive wiggle of the Tevinter's brows.

'It was purely to assist Inquisition enquires.'

'And my dance with Malakar was a test,' he said sarcastically.

There was that dreaded wiggle. Cullen looked down, pretending to focus intently on the board.

'Commander Cullen saw a pretty girl, and he _liked_ her,' Dorian said, his mischievous stare burning holes in the top of Cullen's head, 'if the details that Leliana has given me aren't enough of an indication, the fact that you have her silk gloves tucked into your pants right now certainly gives you away.'

Cullen looked up, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. 'How do you–'

'I watch people, Commander,' he said, 'and you are an open book.' The mage shrugged, moving a knight. 'Plus, you're not as sneaky as you think you are, even in chess. Checkmate.'

Cullen examined the board. He was indeed trapped. Resigned to the loss, he leant back in his chair, his elbows propped on the arm rest, his fingers forming a steeple before his face.

'I… find myself thinking about her more than I should.'

Dorian watched him curiously.

'Why do you say that?'

'Because she's a stranger,' Cullen said, absently waving the words away, 'all we have is a name, and that's probably fake.'

'But she did help us.'

'It doesn't matter. We're at war, remember? I don't have time to– I won't allow myself to be infatuated with a stranger.'

' _Allow_?' Dorian said, the final hint of his smirk dropping, 'Cullen, you can pretend all you like, but that's a ridiculous notion, and you know it. You have every right to want something more than this blasted end of the world crap. I dare say we all seek comfort where we find it. I have been fortunate that I found it so near to me, if unexpectedly. No one can blame you for wanting your brief romance to blossom when faced with someone so intriguing, someone who obviously enjoyed your company, however brief it may have been.'

Cullen looked up, surprised to see how serious Dorian had become.

'How do you know that?'

'Well, she left you a token, did she not? Why else would she slip gloves into your coat, if not to give you something to remember her by?'

Cullen reached into the waist of his pants. He held the gloves before him, wishing his hands were bare so he could feel how soft they were. He glanced up at Dorian, and the mage smiled knowingly.

'This is irrational,' Cullen said, stuffing them back into his waistband, 'I cannot hope that I will see her again.'

Dorian went to speak, but movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked over, seeing the Inquisitor leaning against an archway. Malakar waited for him, a soft smile on the lips he knew so well.

'Sometimes, Commander,' Dorian said, 'hope is all we have.'

Although no words were uttered between the two mages, Cullen could sense the silent exchange. Dorian's usually hard brow relaxed. His eyes softened. When he smiled fully, he revealed the soft creases etched in his skin. A weight seemed to lift from his shoulders, the calm that filled his heart written all over his face.

When Malakar turned to leave, Dorian rose absently. He glanced back at the board, offering a final smirk.

'We'll play again later, Commander,' he said, 'it seems that I am needed elsewhere.'

Cullen smiled, nodding. Dorian disappeared around the corner, and Cullen packed up the board slowly, the mage's words drifting through his mind as he stowed each piece. He reached back into his waistband, finding the gloves once more. He bit the finger of his leather glove, pulling one free from his hand. He smoothed the silken fabric with his thumb, and a sense of calm washed over him.

He could not deny that he had been lonely for months. The war was taking its toll, and his personal demons plagued him, louder with every day. For the hundredth time, he wished he had taken the chance to dance with her, even if only to have enjoyed her beautiful face a moment longer.

He picked up the chess set. The sky was beginning to darken, stars peeking from behind the soft clouds that rolled overhead. He slowed his steps, pausing to lean on the battlements and breathe in the crisp mountain air.

Dorian was right. Sometimes, hope was all they had. And that was enough, for now.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter of _Shadows & Daggers: A Rogue's Love Story. _

New chapters will be posted every Monday.


	2. An Explosive Entrance

**Chapter Two**

 **An Explosive Entrance**

Cullen jerked awake. His blurry eyes glanced around, seeking an intruder. His empty office stared back, the room quiet but for the soft hiss of a draft. He rubbed absently at his face. A sheet of parchment unpeeled itself from his cheek, floating past the desk to land in the puddle of ink. He sighed at the shattered glass pot, a new stain on the cobblestone floor of his office.

His bones creaked as he rose, stretching from his awkward sleeping position. He had been waking more and more at his desk, working into the early hours of the morning in the hopes that his tired mind would struggle to produce nightmares. It seemed to have worked, if not how he had expected: instead of nightmares, he had dreamt of green eyes.

He stumbled to the door, stretching as he walked, and stepped out onto the battlements. He squinted into the bright morning sun, leaning against the outer wall. The crisp mountain air caressed his face and he took a deep breath, the air chilling his lungs and soothing his tired body.

It had been weeks since the events at the Winter Palace and scouts had been pouring in with news of new alliances and support for the Inquisition. But the work never ended. The Inquisitor had left for Crestwood days earlier with Dorian, Cassandra, and Iron Bull to meet with Hawke and a Warden contact in the hopes of finding the missing Grey Wardens. He found himself wanting them to return soon so that he could play chess with Dorian again. Their games were the only moments that cleared his mind and soothed the darkness that tormented him.

Cullen was almost feeling ready to face the new day when an almighty boom sounded somewhere below, followed by the screech and crash of metal. He nearly stumbled as the fortress shook beneath his feet. He moved to the other side of the wall, looking down at the courtyard. His eyes darted to the watch tower, but they were not looking out into the mountains.

'Intruder!'

Cullen sprinted to his office as the troops began to move below. He shot out the door onto the walkway that led to the main hall, stopping to stare down at the commotion. Shouts sounded, feet stomped, swords sang as they were unsheathed. He burst into the empty main hall, still quiet at such an early hour in the morning.

He heard more shouting as he reached the entrance steps. Approaching the base of the stairs, surrounded by Inquisition forces, was a hooded figure. They dragged a man bodily over the bumps and rocks in the courtyard, hardly bothered by the scout's weight. His clothes marked him as one of Leliana's agents. He was barely conscious, his head lolling on his shoulders as the intruder hefted him to the base of the steps.

The troops glanced nervously at Cullen; none seemed willing to approach. As Cullen reached the bottom steps, he could see the stranger held a dagger. The double-edged blade was tucked against their forearm, ready.

They dropped the agent, kicking him to the side.

'Don't be so dramatic, everyone,' they said, sheathing their weapon on their back with a matching blade, 'I'm just returning your property. Sorry about the gate, by the way. Might have gone a little overboard with the explosives.'

Cullen felt the hair rise on the back of his neck. He had hoped that by getting closer, he would get a better look at their face, but a mask covered their nose and mouth, the hood shadowing any skin that might have been revealed.

'What in the Maker is going on here?'

'You misplaced one of your spies.' They shrugged under the dark coat. 'I got tired of him following me around. Do you know how _loudly_ he breathes?' They brought a gloved hand up, the tips of their fingers revealed. Cullen bristled as they picked disinterestedly at their nails. 'I put up with it for; I don't know, three days maybe? It _was_ kind of funny to see someone so incompetent try so hard. But it just got super annoying when I was trying to read. So, I thought it was time to return him.'

'Who are you?'

They looked up from their nails.

'Oh, my handsome Commander, don't play coy with me.'

When they took a step closer, Cullen signalled for the troops to stand down.

'You know _exactly_ who I am,' they said, fingers walking up his chest plate, her nails scraping the collar, tickling his neck, 'if you wanted to dance with me, you only had to ask.'

Their gazes met, and Cullen felt his breath leave his body. Under the hood, two jewels shone brightly at him, a wicked glint in her serpentstone gaze.

 _Maker's breath._

It took all his strength to pull away from her. His skin still felt hot where she had touched him. He cleared his throat.

'Everyone back to their quarters,' Cullen shouted. The troops shifted awkwardly, some glancing around the person in front to get a better look. He hardened his glare. 'Did I _stutter_?'

They scattered, none daring to look back.

He returned his attention to the woman before him. Emotions twisted inside his stomach. All at once, he was angry, nervous, exhilarated. He did not know if he should scold her for her brash entrance, or applaud the Maker for placing her before him once more.

'Valina?'

'The one and only,' she said, sauntering past him and continuing up the stairs. He followed, taking two steps at a time.

He caught up with her as she entered the main hall.

'I have to ask for your weapons.'

'And you just did. Doesn't mean you're getting them,' she said, glancing at the doors as she passed. She looked up at him, then down, and he felt his face heat as her gaze lingered. 'I promise you can strip search me later, though.'

He opened his mouth, but could not even issue a stuttered reply.

'Now, where is Lady Montilyet's office?' She stopped in the middle of the hall, assessing the doors before turning sharply on her heel. 'Oh, in here. Splendid.'

Valina marched through the two doors. When she entered the office, Josephine nearly fell off her chair, jumping up to stand beside her desk. Her eyes darted, a flash of relief on her face when she saw Cullen following closely behind.

'What in the name of–'

'Lady Montilyet, just the woman I wanted to see,' Valina said as she approached the desk. To her credit, Josephine stood her ground as Valina took the seat at the desk, though she glanced to Cullen.

'I have no intent to hurt you, and as long as you are polite to me, it will stay that way,' Valina said, 'so stop looking at the Commander for help because he's currently blushing far too much to be of use to you.'

'I am not–'

'Hush, handsome,' Valina snapped as she slid the hood from her head and pulled her mask down. She shook her hair out, the dark strands cascading down her back.

The door opened once more.

'Josie,' Leliana called, 'what's with all the commotion out front?'

Her eyes fell on Valina. The rogue turned in her chair, leaning casually against the backrest. 'Thank you for joining us, Lady Nightingale. I think we need to have a private chat later about personal boundaries,' Valina said, 'stalking people is very rude, especially after only one dance. If you're not careful, people might get the idea that you're desperate.'

Leliana composed her features. 'Marquise Voclain, I presume?'

Leliana joined Josephine at the desk. She sat on the edge. Adopting her usual intimidating stance would have no effect on the woman before her, and they both knew it.

Valina smiled. She leant her elbows on the desk, propping her chin up on her hands.

'Marquise Voclain is my mother,' she said as she met Leliana's gaze, 'surely we are past such formalities. You know my name. I gave it to you. So, use it.'

Leliana could not mask a smile. 'Valina, then.'

'Much better. Now, to business. I'm here, so obviously, I got your message,' Valina said, 'firstly, I recommend you spend more time training your scouts in their stealth tactics. They might be able to sneak up on a warrior, but even a poorly trained rogue would hear them half a mile away, and, well, clearly I am not a poorly trained rogue.'

'Noted.'

'You can also explain why they were following me.'

'We think you can help us,' Josephine said. She took her seat, her features composed.

'I can. Maker knows you lot need it with all those fade rifts still floating around. That does not, however, mean that I will.'

'This affects everyone,' Cullen said, forcing some composure as he stood beside the desk, leaning on it with one hand.

She shrugged. 'No, not really. It should, but it doesn't. Life is still going on out there, rift shit or not. There are just more people taking advantage of the chaos.'

'And are you one of them?'

'Probably, but mostly I've just been terribly bored,' she said, 'I only went to the ball because it was the culmination of a civil war, and I wanted to see who won. Plus, I heard that the Inquisition was making an appearance. And you did.' She winked at Leliana. 'And oh, what a scandal we caused together.'

'You're a mercenary, are you?'

'Yes, but that's not what you're _really_ asking me, is it, Lady Montileyet? What you really want to ask is if I know anything.'

'And do you?'

'Yes. Things that would make your skin crawl.' She glanced to Cullen. 'Or tingle, whatever you're into. I don't judge.'

Her tongue darted out to lick her lip, the action so quick that he wondered if he had imagined it. She held his gaze for a moment, and his heart kicked in his chest.

'What I do or do not know is irrelevant this late in a war. But I am handy with blades, and I can manipulate even the most hardened people, and that's what you need. You need support, a lot of it, and I can get you that.'

'For a price?' Leliana guessed.

'You can't afford me, honey, though I would do a special deal for you,' she said, 'but, because I am bored, if you keep me entertained, I'll keep support pouring in faster than you can say 'Maker preserve me'. That I can promise.'

'How can we trust you?' Josephine asked.

'You can't, but you are facing a monster. You may think of me as one for the lack of a clear moral compass, but, at the very least, I'm prettier to look at, and that counts for something. Besides, do you really have a choice?'

'I suppose not.'

'Then we have an accord,' Valia said, standing in one lithe motion. She stepped closer to Cullen, leaning in. For a moment, he caught the soft scent of roses as she neared. The sweet aroma filled his nose, and he felt a shiver roll down his spine when she smiled up at him. She trailed her fingers over his torso as she had done before, but not where he expected. He stifled a gasp as she brushed past his navel, his cheeks flushing.

'Shall I pick a room, or would you prefer I bunked with you, Commander?'

His hand slipped off the desk. Although he could not speak, his body tried its hardest to answer for him.

' _I_ will show you to a room,' Josephine said, having to bite back her laughter. She directed Valina to the door. The rogue threw a final wink at Cullen before she followed.

'Ah, my Antivan Queen, maybe we should share instead…'

Cullen rubbed at his face, trying to hide his blush. He had only been awake for an hour, and already he felt the crushing weight of a long day fall on his shoulders.

'She is going to be a handful. Normally I would avoid a chaotic neutral person; they can be very dangerous,' Leliana said, smirking at the door as it closed, 'but I think she will be a valuable agent for the Inquisition.'

'We can hope so,' Cullen said absently. He wandered out the door, intent on burying himself in paperwork for the day if only so he could try to keep thoughts of that wicked rogue from his mind.

* * *

Josephine spent most of the day setting Valina up in suitable lodgings, and then gave her the extended tour of Skyhold, using the time to assess the rogue's attitude. As Leliana had warned, she was impossible to read, but her assessment of the Inquisition base was ultimately positive. She even offered recommendations on improving the defences that Josephine planned to pass on to Cullen.

'And finally, this is Herald's Rest, the local tavern,' Josephine said, 'a fitting place to end our tour. Many of our troops like to hang out here when resting. The ale is not the finest I have tasted, but it is refreshing after a long day of business.'

Valina smiled. Josephine felt a strange flutter in her stomach. She was beginning to understand why this rogue seemed to affect Cullen with even the smallest smirk. Valina had an air around her that Josephine could only describe as sultry. The wicked turn of her lips pulled every man – and many women – to her gaze with the smallest quirk.

'Care to join me for a drink, my Lady?'

'Another time, perhaps. I have some Inquisition business to attend before the evening gets too late,' Josephine said, bowing her head politely.

'Too bad,' Valina sighed, 'I will struggle to find someone half as beautiful as you to keep me company.'

Josephine couldn't fight the colour that rose in her cheeks at the warmth she found in the green gaze.

'Goodnight, Valina.'

Valina entered the tavern. Heads turned, and even the bard fell silent. The space was packed with Inquisition troops that had witnessed the day's eventful beginning. Rumours circulated throughout the day, as did the story off her explosive entrance. A soft air of awe was palpable in the room, eyes following her as she sauntered to the bar.

'Ale,' she said as she eased into an empty seat.

The bartender rushed to fill her order. He watched as she took a deep drink, a glaze of panic over his eyes. He startled when she tossed him a coin.

'That should cover a couple at least.'

'Yes, ma'am.'

She drained the flagon, and he poured her a fresh one. As she lifted it, the stool beside her screeched on the floorboards. She looked up, a wicked smile lighting her lips.

'Well, well, aren't you just one gorgeous hunk of man,' she purred.

The Qunari smirked at her. 'It's nice to meet a woman who can hold her ale.'

'I can hold a lot more than that if you ask nicely,' she said, turning in her chair to face him, 'what's your name, big guy?'

'Iron Bull,' he said, leaning closer, 'what's yours?'

'Valina.'

'Mm. You're the rogue from the Palace.'

'I might be.'

'I've been told you're a bit of a tease.'

She arched a dark eyebrow at him, taking a sip of her ale. She licked the edge, Bull's eyes darting to her tongue.

'I might be,' she said again.

She placed the flagon on the bar, leaning a little closer as she asked, 'so, what do you Inquisition boys do for fun around here?'

She watched intently. His eyes darted to her lips once more, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply.

'We do a lot of things.'

'But what's _your_ favourite thing to do.'

'I did it recently, actually.'

'And?'

'I'm not sure you can handle it.'

'I'm not sure you could handle me.'

He exhaled, draining his flagon. He struggled to read her, just as he had at the Winter Palace, but when her lips curved he decided he didn't care.

'Ever killed a dragon?'

She smirked. 'One.'

'If you know anything about Qunari, you'll know how we feel about them.'

'How about you educate me?'

'Qunari hold dragons sacred. Well, as much as we hold anything sacred.'

'I had heard that.'

'And obviously, you know we have horns?'

'I did, but I've never seen any quite as impressive as yours.'

He smirked, a wicked look in his eyes.

'Well, we look more dragony than most people. A few of the Ben-Hassrath have this crazy old theory about that. See, the Tamassrans control who we mate with. They breed us for jobs like you'd breed dogs or horses. What if, a long time ago, they mixed in some dragon? Maybe by drinking the blood, perhaps by magic.' He shrugged. 'I don't know. But something in that dragon I killed spoke to me. Dragons are the embodiment of raw power. But it's all uncontrolled, savage, so they need to be destroyed. Today we tamed the wild; we made order out of chaos…'

As Bull spoke, she saw Cullen enter. He looked around the tavern, and when he found her among the crowd, she saw his breath hitch. He quickly glanced away, flagging down the nearest server to order, avoiding the bar. Still, his eyes darted in her direction, watching her interact with the Qunari.

 _Finally_.

She drained the last drops of her flagon, smirking at Bull. She stood up, and he tensed beside her. She brushed her knuckles along the underside of one of his horns, smirking when he shivered.

'This has been fun,' she said, 'I'll see you around, Bull.'

As she walked away, she could feel his gaze on her swaying hips. Cullen tensed as she neared, his body rigid as stone when she propped herself on the table beside him.

'Are you feeling a bit jealous of the Bull?'

'Why would I be?' he asked. He took a deep drink of his flagon, avoiding her gaze.

'Because I can tell you're a Chantry boy, handsome, and Chantry boys have a thing for strong women.'

He glanced up. 'Who said– how do you know that?'

'Your troops train like Templars, and you, Commander, carry yourself like one.'

'That doesn't mean you know my type,' he bit out.

'Your eyes tell me otherwise.'

'How so?'

'It's the way you looked at me when you walked in. And in the glances when you couldn't keep your eyes off me, no matter how hard you tried.'

She leant closer, and the soft scent of roses filled him once more.

'And what did you see?'

He tensed when her hand grasped his shirt tight, drawing him closer. She brushed her lips over his ear, her breath hot against his skin as she said, 'hunger.'

She hopped down from the table. She traced her fingers up his thigh as she walked away, the heat of her touch lingering even as she left the tavern. His eyes followed her, trailing down her back to hips that swayed deliciously as she walked, her leather pants formed so perfectly to her cheeks.

He snapped his eyes back to his ale, draining it in a few large gulps. When a server walked past with a full tray, he snagged another, staring at the dark liquid as he tried to steady his thoughts.

The bench creaked beside him. He looked up at Iron Bull.

'What?' he asked, harsher than he had intended.

'She may not be a redhead, but she's got the same sort of fire in her waiting to be tapped,' he smirked at Cullen, 'don't get any ideas Curly. I'm calling dibs.'

The Qunari rose to his full towering height, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for battle before he followed Valina from the tavern. The ale seemed to sour in Cullen's mouth, a white-hot flash of jealousy searing him. He drowned it with another gulp of ale, wishing that he could sink into the table as he realised she had slipped from his fingers again.

* * *

Valina climbed the steps to the top of the wall. It was dark now. The air was cold on her skin as she stared out at the moonlit mountains that surrounded Skyhold. She glanced back as she heard heavy footsteps follow her up the stairs. Confidence radiated from the firm steps and casual place. She was not surprised to see they belonged to the Iron Bull.

She leant her back against the wall. 'Couldn't get enough of me?'

He smirked. 'I can take a hint,' he said, strolling towards her. He towered over her as he leant on the wall. She could see nothing beyond his broad body, his arms caging her in. 'You want to ride the Bull.'

'Tempting, big guy, but not tempting enough today,' she said, smiling up at him, 'but, if you are feeling _horny_ , go flirt with that sweet brunette server in the bar. She had her eyes on you all night. I'm surprised she didn't try to put a dagger in my back when you started talking to me, she was so jealous.'

'So, if not me, then who has tempted you?'

'Mm, there are just so many beautiful people here… I don't know how I will pick.'

He pulled back from her. 'If you ever change your mind, you know where you can find me.'

'My safe word is Lazurite,' she said, satisfied to see a flash of heat in his gaze, 'just in case we ever need it.'

He smirked. 'I think we're going to get along.'

'We'll see.' She pulled her hood over her head and turned from him. As she walked along the wall towards her room, her dark coat melded with the darkness. Even in the shadows, she could feel his stare on her back.

* * *

Bull wandered back down the stairs and back into the tavern. He stopped beside Cullen, clapping him on the shoulder hard enough that the man nearly spat out his ale.

Cullen swallowed hard, surprised to see that the Bull had returned.

'Rejected?' he asked, unable to hide the satisfaction in his voice.

'Surprising, I know,' Bull said, 'apparently, I'm not the commander she is looking for.'

He clapped Cullen on the back once more before he went hunting for the brunette server. Cullen stared back into his ale, this time with a smile on his lips. Maybe he hadn't missed his chance, after all.


	3. Temptation

**Chapter Three**

 **Temptation**

Valina's talents served the Inquisition well, and she quickly settled into Skyhold. Her belongings arrived within days of her unorthodox entrance, and she set to work with surprising vigour, considering that she had essentially been dragged into the Inquisition. Letters poured in from various noble families and factions, some that Josephine had been struggling to contact for months. Valina's reach was so vast that Josephine unfamiliar with the names of some new contacts. Each new ally sent a list of assets they could pledge in support of the Inquisition, and carts full of resources soon followed.

When Valina wasn't securing new resources, she studied the training routines of the troops. Without Cullen's knowledge, she tweaked the training regime one morning, taking advantage of his distraction, his head buried in paperwork and reports. He bristled when he found out she had adjusted the schedule, but Cassandra had been quick to calm him, noting that their versatility and stamina had improved.

Valina brought reports to Cullen regularly, including a fund to repair the gate she damaged in her explosive and often discussed arrival at Skyhold. She passed it off as an anonymous donation but he suspected it had come from her pocket.

One day, when Cullen was too exhausted to filter his words, he let it slip that he missed playing chess with Dorian. The games cleared his mind, but the mage was far away, searching for the Grey Wardens somewhere in the desert in western Orlais with the Inquisitor, Varric, and Blackwall. She challenged him the following evening, and every moment they had spare, he found himself sitting across from her. Her strategic intellect was formidable, and all their games were long fought.

The longer Cullen spent with Valina, the more he felt her presence like a brand on his skin. Every time he saw her, a flame inside him burned hotter. Dreams about her became more vivid, filling with details of her lovely face, of her wicked smile, of the searing look in her eyes when she flipped his words and turned them into something suggestive, sultry. Her voice began to creep into his musings. He could hear the husky note that filled her words when she flirted with him, and she flirted incessantly. He hid behind his desk during her visits more than he cared to admit, not wanting her to see the effect she had on his body.

One afternoon, after a long day of handling reports, Cullen wandered down to the training ring. He had found her there a few times before, sparring with the troops to teach them a new move, and he hoped he would find her to challenge her to a game or two of chess. It was a relief to be out in the fresh air; his office had been stiflingly hot, warmed by the harsh sun beating down on the stone walls.

As he approached the ring, he was surprised to find her fighting with Cole, the two assassins moving almost too fast for his eyes to follow, a blur of blended colours with the occasional silver flash from their blades.

Iron Bull stood outside the ring, his arms folded across his massive chest, a grin on his lips.

'What are you doing here, Bull?'

'Oh, I'm here for the show,' he said, barely glancing at Cullen.

'The show?'

'You'll see.'

Cullen watched, confused but curious about the Qunari's motivation. In a final sudden sweep, Cole huffed as his back hit the ground. Valina had disarmed him and pinned him down with her knee on his chest, a blade resting against his throat. As quickly as it had ended, she dropped the training daggers and helped Cole to his feet.

'You're fast,' she said, brushing some dirt from his hat.

'You're flexible.'

Bull sniggered beside Cullen. 'I bet she is.'

The way she looked at the Qunari suggested she heard him, a smirk on her lips. As she sauntered over to the edge of the fence, Cullen felt his throat dry. She wore a roughly cut shirt that barely covered her breasts, and her tight leather pants - fitted so tight that he began to wonder if they were painted on - sat low on her hips. His eyes caught on the strong expanse of her stomach, her body toned from a life of fighting. Her sun-kissed skin looked soft and supple despite the power that rippled just below the surface with every movement.

She grasped the fence of the training ring, lifting herself and supporting her hips on the bar. She leant closer to Cullen, flicking a dark strand of hair from her face.

'Did you enjoy watching, Commander?'

'I often observe troops when they train.'

'I doubt you've ever wanted one of your soldiers to pin you down like that before.'

He gulped. He thought by now he would be used to how forward she was when it came to the subject of sex, but he still struggled to do more than stammer at her as she jumped over the fence.

'I'm so hot now; I think I need to have a nice cool bath.'

She untied her hair as she headed for the stairs. The dark strands cascaded down her back, and Cullen felt his stomach dip. He heard Bull draw a sharp breath.

'You can pin me anytime!' Bull yelled after her.

'You wish,' she called back, waving over her shoulder.

'Every damn day!'

Cole appeared between the two men, glancing up at Bull. 'You can't have dibs,' he said absently before glancing to Cullen. His head tilted slightly, his wide eyes staring almost blankly at the Commander. 'Blood pumping, breathless, the weight of the air on a warm summer morning. He feels like quiet in chaos, safe and solid.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about,' Cullen sighed. The cryptic rogue grated his nerves at the best of times.

'She thinks about you, even when she fights, even when she thinks she shouldn't.' The rogue tilted his head to the other side. 'She called dibs on you.'

Cullen stared at Cole blankly, his lips parted as if caught on a word. He knew that she flirted with him, but he'd seen her flirt with just about everyone in Skyhold. She was manipulative by nature, and that was part of what made her such a good rogue. Would she really…?

'Yes,' Cole said.

Cullen felt his skin flush, his ears burning. He glared at Cole. The rogue seemed to get the message and wandered off, leaving Cullen to stand there with Iron Bull.

The Qunari smirked. 'Told you she has a preference in commanders.' He winked at Cullen if only to make him blush harder. 'Can't say I blame her.'

Cullen turned on his heel and marched back to his office, hoping for a new report to busy himself with. He sighed with relief when he found a bound scroll on his desk. He broke the wax as he sat in his chair, scanning the contents.

* * *

 _Commander Cullen,_

 _I have received word from a noble family in the Hinterlands: House Cormont. They have agreed to support the Inquisition with a substantial sum of gold and resources. Their ties to some questionable houses known for Venatori sympathies, however, need to be investigated before we commit to any deals._

 _This situation needs to be handled delicately. I would suggest sending one of Leliana's agents, but I believe that Valina would be better suited for this operation due to her position among the Orlesian nobility. Although her family has been absent from the court for the better part of three decades, her name alone will carry weight._

 _A display of force may still be necessary. As Commander of the Inquisition, your presence may intimidate Ser Cormont into disclosing any questionable business dealings. I have arranged a meeting with Ser Cormont for the coming week. I would suggest that you prioritise this mission and depart as soon as possible._

 _Josephine._

* * *

Rather than distracting Cullen, as he had hoped, he scowled at the contents and dropped the paper with a curse.

'Maker's balls,' Cullen spat. He rubbed his face, pulling at his cheeks in frustration. 'Josephine, what are you up to?'

He snatched up the report, marching out of his office. He walked along the wall, his steps becoming heavier as he neared. He stopped outside Valina's door, taking a breath to steady his racing heart. In all the weeks Valina had resided at Skyhold, he had never even walked up to her room, let alone knocked. He was surprised at how difficult it was to raise his hand, his knuckles tapping firmly on the wood.

He felt his foot bouncing as he waited for her. When the latch clicked, he tried to harden his features, telling himself that it was just business. They would attend the meeting and form the alliance with House Cormont. For the Inquisition.

When the door swung open his hand shot up to cover his eyes, a gasp wrenching from his lips. Despite his quick reflexes, he caught a tantalising glimpse of bare skin.

'Ah, Valina, I–'

'Commander,' she purred, her sultry tone dripping over him, 'I'd say you _finally_ came to strip search me, but it appears you're a little late for that.'

He held out Josephine's note, dropping his head back to look straight up at the sky above.

'We, ah… mission.'

'We?'

He tried to disappear into the cobblestone beneath him as she pressed closer to take the letter. He heard her unroll the parchment.

'Yes,' he said, nearly tripping backwards when the scent of roses hit him, so much stronger than before, 'we leave in the morning.'

'Oh, are you in charge?' she asked.

'I am the Commander, so, yes, I will be leading this meeting.'

'I guess you'll need to know my safe word as well, then.'

'Your _what_? Wait, who else knows your–'

'Will we be sharing a tent?'

He felt his cheeks flare impossibly hotter as he ground out, ' _no_.'

'You're no fun,' she sighed, and he could hear the pout in her voice. His mind filled with the memory of her wicked lips. He clenched his fists tightly, forcing himself to step back from her, his eyes still raised to the sky.

'I have to return to my work.'

'I'll see you bright and early then, handsome.'

When the door closed, he realised that he had been holding his breath. He exhaled harshly and sucked some fresh air into his aching lungs. As he walked back to his quarters his heart hammered in his chest. A part of his body tried to turn him around and march back to her door, but he fought it with all his might.

 _It's going to be a long trip._

* * *

Valina rose early the next morning. She did her usual exercises, stretching in preparation for a long day of travelling. A scout dropped off a bag for her to use and she sorted through her trunk, packing her essentials. She dressed in her favourite pair of leather pants and boots, wanting to be comfortable for the long day of riding ahead. As she rummaged through her clothes for a shirt, a wicked smirk lit her lips. She pulled the soft tunic over her head, enjoying how light it felt on her skin. She tucked it into her pants before she found her hooded cloak and weapon sheaths.

She dropped her pack off with the soldiers who were preparing horses for her and Cullen, then she climbed the stairs to the top of the wall. She knocked on his office door, not waiting for a reply before she swung it wide. She glanced around the room, but it was empty. Cullen had not been down at the horses, but she thought he could be in the war room or talking with Josephine until she heard a muffled shout above her. She glanced up at the loft floor, hearing movement above.

'Cullen?' she called, but she received no reply.

She climbed the ladder, peeking onto the floor. The roof above was broken, a hole allowing sunlight to cascade in. She thought it odd, considering all the work that was being done around Skyhold, that the Commander's quarters had not been attended to.

Across the room in a large bed, Cullen struggled beneath the sheets, his movements agitated. She climbed the last few rungs and crept towards him. What she could see of his face and arms was coated in a thin sheen of sweat. He cried out again, louder this time, and when he rolled towards her, his face was contorted.

 _A nightmare?_

She stepped closer, stopping beside his bed. She felt conflicted, unsure if she should wake him. She could turn him into a flustered mess with the right smile and a few words, but she couldn't imagine he would be pleased for her to see him vulnerable.

Cullen's movements changed, his body fighting harder against the demons in his mind. She darted back to the ladder when a strangled shout escaped him, sliding down to his office just before he jerked awake. She stilled, listing to his laboured breaths. After a moment, she heard him lay back on the mattress. His breaths began to ease, and she gripped the ladder tighter. She climbed quietly, peeking into the loft again. His back was to her. He had swept the covers down to his waist, allowing her to catch her first glimpse at the skin below his neck. She nearly purred as her eyes swept over his broad shoulders and the muscled expanse of his back, her eyes following the line of his side down to narrowed hips. She could just see the curve of his firm ass, a tantalising glimpse.

Normally, she would be entirely satisfied by a man like Iron Bull when she needed intimate company, but Cullen had tempted her since the moment he approached her in the ballroom. He didn't eagerly thrust himself toward her, trying to stake a claim. He had done quite the opposite, seeming almost terrified of her advances. He was a challenge, and she revelled in the chase. She had done her best to tease the Commander because she enjoyed painting his cheeks scarlet, hoping to provoke his passion. Deep inside that blushing exterior, a lion lay dormant. She would bring it forth, even if it took another month to tempt the Templar.

Valina eased onto the loft floor and approached quietly. He didn't stir as she neared, and she manoeuvred herself onto the sturdy wooden side at the foot of the bed. From her perch, she could see that his eyes were closed, his breaths calm and even; he was dozing, bordering somewhere between awake and asleep. She took a moment to take in his features, his strong and deliciously stubbled jaw and the rough scar on his expressive lips. His normally tamed hair was dishevelled from sleep, the golden strands spiked in a few places, a few slicked to his forehead. His face was more relaxed now, though his brow knotted with the occasional thought, the nightmare still flashing in his mind. He had no idea what she had witnessed, and she would keep it that way.

His clothes were draped over the edge beside her, his armour pieces carefully placed on the trunk at the end of the bed. She smirked as she picked up his surcoat, brushing her fingers over the soft furred shoulders. She slipped it on, then positioned herself casually, resting on one hand.

'Good morning, handsome.'

Cullen's eyes flew open and he shot up. His expression bordered on vicious until his eyes locked with hers and the panic turned to recognition. He scrambled back, holding the sheets tight against his stomach.

'It's good to know we both like sleeping naked,' she said with a wink. She glanced down his body, nibbling her bottom lip.

Cullen pulled his knees up a little higher, feeling his cheeks heat. 'What are you doing here?'

'You said we were leaving in the morning.' She glanced at the hole in the ceiling where daylight poured in. 'It's morning. Time to get marching, Commander.'

'I–' he started, then his eyes travelled to her shoulders. 'Are you wearing my clothes?'

'I might be,' she said, trailing her fingers over the dark furred mantle, 'think we'll make people gossip if I walk outside wearing this?'

'Take it off.'

'Which part?' she asked, her voice turning soft and breathless, 'or would you like to strip me instead?'

Her eyes lit up, and he felt a dangerous pulse down south as he imagined sliding the surcoat from her shoulders. He had to get her out of the room.

' _Now_ , Valina,' he snapped, 'make sure the horses are prepared. I'll be ready to leave in ten minutes.'

She hopped down from the bed, shrugging the surcoat from her shoulders. She threw it towards him, and it landed at his feet.

'I like it when you take charge, Commander,' she said. She gave him the wicked smirk before she sauntered to the ladder. 'Keep using that tone, handsome, and I may just strip _for_ you.'

* * *

Even when Cullen heard a door slam in his office, he didn't dare move. His body thrummed with energy, and he ached from her words. He could remember having nightmares before she had woken him, but they seemed fuzzy now, replaced by thoughts of her wicked lips and sun-kissed skin. He would never admit it, but he had enjoyed seeing her in his surcoat. It was far too large for her small frame, but seeing her wear it had satisfied some part of him, all while igniting another.

He threw the covers aside and swung his feet over the edge of the bed, his toes curling on the floorboards. He looked down with a groan as his cock pulsed eagerly, demanding the attention he had denied it for so long.

He glanced guiltily at the surcoat. It lay crumpled on the bed where she had thrown it. He reached for it, burying his face in the collar. Although soft, he caught her rose-tinged scent mingled with his own and inhaled deeply. The furred shoulders brushed against his face, and he imagined it was her dark hair, his mind filling with the wicked curve of her lips.

Cullen's mind turned to Cole's words: _she called dibs on you_. He wanted so desperately to believe the rogue. Cullen enjoyed Valina's company, but he struggled to believe that she could feel the same, that she desired him as deeply as he did her, not when she could pick almost any of the men and women in Skyhold and have them bending to her will within minutes. Iron Bull was not subtle about his interest, but Cullen had seen desire in the gaze of many wherever Valina walked, had caught both Sera and Josephine gazing longingly at Valina when she trained in the ring. Even Blackwall, one of the most stoic men Cullen had ever met, had cast a few appreciative glances at Valina from across the bar at Herald's Rest.

 _It's just a game._

He growled at himself and threw the surcoat aside, rising from the bed. He pulled his pants on, managing to force his aching length into confinement. Even the briefest touch was enough to make him moan; his body was strung so tightly after weeks of enduring Valina's unique brand of flirting. He dressed quickly and tried to turn his mind to packing his essentials. Slowly, he felt his body relax, though some lingering pulses remained in his groin. He knew he needed to do something to take the edge off, and soon.

He had no idea that she'd only wanted to make him forget his nightmares.


	4. Painful Truths

**Chapter Four**

 **Painful Truths**

Valina was already sitting on her horse when Cullen came down from his quarters. The soldiers strapped his pack to the saddle, along with a small travel tent. They had enough supplies to last the four to five days it would take to make the return trip for the mission. Although they could easily make the journey in a day with Master Dennet's fine steeds, the meeting was not for three days. They had time to travel and to conduct a quiet search of Ser Cormont's land for anything suspicious before they met with the man.

Valina smiled at him as he climbed onto his horse, and he was surprised to see that it wasn't her usual smirk.

'Ready, handsome?' she asked, throwing him a wink before she pulled her hood over her head and masked her face, not waiting for his reply before she took the reins.

They set out into the mountains, riding steadily for a few hours before they agreed that the horses needed a break. He found himself watching her as they travelled, and when they set out again, they began to talk, just as they did when they played chess. Valina never revealed much about herself, but Cullen enjoyed listening to her voice, her crisp accent and the sultry tone that wove through her words as she told stories of various mercenary jobs she had completed in the region. In many ways, the manner in which she recounted the tales reminded him of Bull and the Chargers, though she had always worked alone.

'You've never worked with a team?' he asked after she recounted a particularly risky adventure.

'No,' she said with a shrug, 'there's been no need. It's not the most efficient way to work when you mostly deal with covert jobs and personal manipulation. And the occasional assassination.'

'Isn't it… lonely?'

'Oh handsome, I'm never lonely if I don't want to be,' she said, glancing at him with her wicked green gaze, 'it might be a little tight to fit both of us in one of these tents, but I can keep you company tonight if you want.'

Cullen coughed, snapping his eyes forward even as he felt his body warm at the suggestion. They were well into the Hinterlands now. It would be dark in another two hours.

'We should make camp soon,' he said, trying to ignore the warmth in her lingering gaze, 'I thought it would be best if we spend tomorrow scouting before the meeting on Thursday, but if this is a trap, I don't want to give them more opportunities to kill us than we need to.'

'Now who's thinking like a mercenary?'

He glanced at her. 'I'm practical,' he said, looking around, 'I know a place, another half hour ride from here. We'll set up camp there.'

He led on. Valina had travelled through much of Ferelden, but she had only been near Honnleath a few times. Most of her business in the Hinterlands was conducted closer to Redcliffe.

As they rode, the sun began to dip below the horizon, and the clouds above glowed with the dying light. When they neared a lake, Cullen stopped his horse, tying the steed to a tree. Valina followed, pulling her mask and hood off. It was warmer now that they were out of the mountains, and the humid breeze smelled sweet.

They each set up their tents: the simple short-term travel tents were designed to tie between trees with treated cloth draped over the rope. Although not cosy by any means, Cullen quite preferred the open-ended design, knowing he could reach outside at any moment.

Cullen found a short handled axe strapped to his gear and split a fallen tree to make a fire. They ate together, though they hardly talked. Valina used the time to observe Cullen over the fire. For most of the day, he had seemed relaxed while they talked, swapping stories and memories. He was quiet now, lost in his thoughts, his brow drawn as he absently ate some bread with his eyes downcast.

When the sun dipped fully below the horizon, the moon shining brightly between the clouds, Cullen stood abruptly. He glanced at her, and a nervous smile briefly touched his lips as he said, 'Come with me.'

He did not wait.

Intrigued, Valina followed Cullen to a small pier that extended into the lake. He stopped at the end, leaning on a tall post. He gazed out at the still water in the lake and a calm settled over him. His shoulders softened as she came to stand beside him. His face was relaxed, a rare occurrence for the busy commander, and for a moment he closed his eyes and breathed deeply of the surroundings as if trying to will the serenity of the lake into his very soul.

'I grew up not far from here,' Cullen said, his tawny eyes shining softly in the moonlight that reflected off the lake, 'this place was always quiet. As much as I love my family, I would come here when I needed to get away from my siblings. They were... loud.' A small smile lit his lips, spreading to his eyes. 'The last day I was here was the day I left for Templar training. With all that has happened, with this war, I hadn't thought it would still be so peaceful here now.' He reached into his pocket. When he withdrew his hand, he opened it to reveal a small silver token. 'My brother gave me this that day. I think it just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck.'

'I didn't think Templars were allowed to carry tokens.'

Cullen nodded. 'Our faith should see us through.'

'In my world, a little luck never hurts.'

'Yes, I guessed that when you recounted some of your adventures earlier.'

Valina smirked. 'I think you were lucky too.'

She knew that they had both held back when they had talked, but Cullen had revealed a lot in the emotions that crossed his face.

'I should have died in the Circle, or in Kirkwall,' he said, turning the coin in his hand, 'even Haven. But I'm still here, somehow.' He tucked the token back into his pocket. 'I misled you when I suggested we make camp down here. While it is convenient that we don't alert Ser Cormont to our presence before we wish to, I knew we were close, and with everything that has happened, I…' He looked down, searching for words. 'I wanted to come somewhere that I remember feeling... I know it's selfish, but this place always made me happy. It still does.' He glanced up. 'I'm sorry, I–'

'You don't have to be sorry. I understand; I had a place like this near my home,' she said, staring out at the calm water of the lake, 'I'm sure Josephine has filled you in with all the saucy details of my family history.'

'No, actually,' he admitted, 'she's only mentioned a few things.'

'You're in for quite a shock, handsome. You see, a long time ago now, my mother, who was to inherit the title Marquise when my grandmother passed, married a Tevinter mage for love,' she said, glancing sideways at him, 'it caused quite the scandal, both privately and publicly.'

'That part I had heard.'

Cullen saw shadows creep into Valina's gaze but wondered if he had imagined them. He had never been able to read any of her emotions beyond what she chose to show him. He doubted she would drop her defences even an inch to let him in, but as she continued, he found himself hoping for even the smallest glimpse into her mind.

'My grandfather nearly disowned my mother, but my grandmother made him see reason, eventually. They both died within weeks of each other.'

'I'm sorry, that must have been hard.'

She shrugged. 'I wasn't even alive, yet. But I guess it's what happens, sometimes. They both lived long lives, and my grandmother's death made my father understand why my mother's choice was so important. He would have given anything to spend another lifetime with my grandmother.'

'True love?'

'Very much so,' she said, glancing at him for a moment, 'A lot of people in the court knew about my grandparents and that they accepted my father into the family before their deaths, but it was such a scandal that no one cared if my mother and father had ultimately received my grandparent's blessing. So, the real sordid details are on my father's side, but no one seems to dare discuss those, even now. You don't hear about how my grandfather on my father's side, a Tevinter Altus with high standing even among his class, tried to have me killed. You don't hear about the number of times I woke up to an assassin at the end of my bed. In his eyes, I was the bastard child of a traitor. Even the potential that I would have magical blood was enough to sentence my parents and me to an untimely death, all because that power would not be in the hands of Tevinter.

'The first time I remember, I was three. I was too young to have an actual memory of it, but I have fragments, and I distinctly remember the smell of burning flesh when my father discovered the assassin in my room. The second time, I was five. Then I was six, then seven. Each time, I was lucky enough to have a father who slept lightly two rooms down from me. When I was eight, my parents began to fear that they would see no end to the anger of House Navorr. I still had no signs of magic, though, so they hired the best trainers they could to teach me how to defend myself.'

Valina reached to her back, drawing one of her blades. She traced the edge with the pad of her finger. Cullen clenched his fists tight, barely resisting the urge to snatch the weapon from her hand when blood welled on her skin.

'I have only a few scars, but even magic cannot heal the nerves when they no longer feel. By the time I was fifteen, I had lost most of the feeling in my hands. I was trained to do whatever was necessary to defend myself, even if it meant taking an attacker's weapon by the blade,' she said, and a shiver rolled down his spine at the thought, ' _I_ became the assassin. But when I turned twenty-three, my grandfather died. The attempts stopped. By then, all I knew was how to manipulate, how to fight, and how to kill.' She glanced up at him. 'Perfect mercenary material, right?'

Cullen could find no words. Throughout all the time they had spent together so far, she had never shared something so personal.

 _Sometimes hope is all we have_ …

'Now that we know we're both extra fucked up, is this the part where you tell me that the real reason you brought me here was to be alone with me?' Valina said, sheathing her blade as the shadows in her eyes seemed to scatter. She cleared her throat softly, and he could feel her raising a wall between them. There would be no further discussion on the dark subject, and he would not press her on the matter.

When she glanced at him again, light had returned to her eyes, her serpentstone gaze shining with wicked intent. He was thrown back to that morning in his quarters, to visions of her wearing his surcoat, her nimble fingers tracing the furred shoulders. He felt something hot flare inside him, his tawny gaze reflected in serpentstone as their eyes locked. Heat rippled through his irises like molten gold, and she felt her skin prickle with heat.

'The thought had crossed my mind,' he admitted.

'Well, Commander,' she said, shrugging off her weapons. She hung the sheaths on one of the posts, then stripped her coat, 'I best make that thought stick.'

She kicked off her boots, and he realised what she planned to do as she flashed him a wicked smile. She turned toward the end of the pier and dived into the water, emerging a few feet away. She splashed him, and he flinched, automatically covering his face as the droplets hit his skin. He stepped further back along the pier. He laughed with a soft chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest, as if he rarely allowed it to creep past his lips; she couldn't help but join him.

'Isn't it cold in there?' he asked, smirking at her as he stepped towards the end again.

She swam closer, lifting herself back onto the pier. Water dripped down, splashing softly on the wood at her feet. She swept her dark hair back from her face as she closed the distance between them.

'You tell me,' she said, a sultry curl in her lips that drew his gaze down. The heat in his golden eyes warmed her.

Cullen sucked in a sharp breath. The light fabric had gone sheer in the water; it clung to her sun-kissed skin, tracing every curve and dip on her toned body. His eyes settled on the soft curve of her breasts, unable to move past such a breathtaking sight. Even in the pale moonlight, he could see that she wore no smallclothes, her dusky nipples straining against the soft material. He moved as if to reach for her.

'Valina…'

Cullen's voice was rough, a note of hunger in it that she desperately wanted to satisfy. She felt a shiver roll down her spine, but then she glanced down to his fists. His hands clenched at his sides, balled tightly enough to make his leather gloves squeak. She knew what it meant, knew that he was fighting to control himself, and, ultimately, he would win. He would not act on the desire that burned in his gaze. His restraint was not out of chivalry; if it had been, she would have broken it during her first two days at Skyhold. Something deeper stopped him from reaching for her, something that even she could not understand.

'One day, you'll work out what you want to do with me,' Valina said, her serpentstone eyes finding his once more. She held his gaze for a moment before she turned to collect her weapons and coat. As she walked back down the pier, she looked back. He stood at the end, and she knew that he would not follow. She forced a smile onto her lips, as she had so often in the past, even though she found herself cold. 'I look forward to that day, Cullen.'

* * *

Cullen watched her leave. He felt frozen to the pier as emotions warred inside him. When she was out of sight, he punched the post. His knuckles throbbed with pain at the impact, but he didn't care. He leant on the sturdy wood, feeling his chest tighten.

Something had changed in her eyes before she walked away. The normal brilliant shine had dulled, and he had seen sadness creep over her beautiful face, even when she smiled. She had let him into her world, revealing something that pained her. He doubted she had let even those who had been intimate with her see that part of her, but she had chosen to share it with him. She had trusted him, and she had trusted in the peace he felt in this place. For the first time, after so many meetings and games of chess, she had shown a vulnerable part of herself, and he had thrown it back in her face.

He tried to calm himself before he returned to camp. His heart hammered as he approached, but she was already in her tent, her clothes hanging on a branch near the fire that slowly burned down to ash.

He ducked under the cover of his tent, roughly stripping his clothes in his anger. When he lay down, he knew he would not sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, his mind filled with her serpentstone gaze. But her eyes no longer sparkled; their shine had dulled, filled with the quiet sadness he had caused.

* * *

The guilt Cullen felt when he woke the next morning after what little sleep he had managed was almost crushing. His head ached worse than normal, a hammer on the inside of his skull in time with the beat of his heart. His nightmares were getting worse, becoming more vivid. He was beginning to fear that one day he would not wake from them.

When he left his tent, the bright sun was painful in his eyes. He forced them open, shielding his face with his hand. The fire was completely burnt out, but there was enough kindling and wood piled beside it to start a fresh one. Valina's clothes were gone, but she was nowhere to be found on the campsite. Both of the horses were still beside the tree they had been tied to, happily nibbling on the grass at their feet. He found a note tucked into his saddle written in her fine script.

 _Gone north to scout. I'll be faster and quieter on my own._ _Prepare for the meeting. I'll return before sunset. -_ _V._

Cullen crumpled the note in his fist. He thought he should be out there with her, but he knew that she was right. In his state, he would only slow her down, and stealth certainly did not come naturally to him. More than that, he doubted she wanted anything to do with him after how he treated her the night before.

He forced himself to find the reports that Josephine and Leliana had compiled for him. He read through each one, making notes as he went. While he worked, his headache eased, his body grateful for a distraction. Ser Cormont had indeed been dipping his hand into questionable business dealings: most of the people he dealt with, if not all, were tied in some way to the Venatori cultists, though admittedly indirectly in many cases. It would be difficult to convince him to cut the most concerning business ties, but from what Cullen read, there was no indication that Ser Cormont himself had Venatori sympathies.

As the day began to disappear, Cullen felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle. He knew he had no right to worry about her, but worry he did. He strained his ears, listening for her return, but in hours of listening, he heard nothing but the soft sounds of nature.

The sky grew darker, and he stoked the fire. When he looked up he nearly jumped; across the flickering flames, Valina appeared from the shadows. Relief flooded him as she approached. She handed him a thick scroll of parchment. He wanted desperately to speak, but words failed him. He looked up at her, but her face was hidden by her mask. He found her serpentstone gaze, but the canvas within them was blank. He took the paper, and she turned from him, disappearing into her tent without a word.

Cullen rose to follow, but the weight in his legs stopped him. He sat back on the log, staring at the side of the tent. His fists tightened for a moment, and he dragged his eyes away, returning to his work, an ache creeping back into his skull.

* * *

The sun had barely risen when Valina and Cullen set out for House Cormont. They had spoken quietly over a small breakfast, but only to form a plan. Although the meeting was set for the late afternoon, they wanted to surprise the noble. Valina would make the initial approach, and Cullen would reinforce with a threat if necessary.

They tied their horses to a fence post at the gate to the Cormont land, the large house a short walk up a shrub lined path. Although modest in size, even the outside was well-appointed, built by the hands of a skilled craftsman. When they reached the door, Valina shifted subtly beside him. She was irritated that Josephine had recommended she wear more neutral attire but had admitted that it was a good idea. Over her dark leather pants, she wore a soft white jacket accented with gold clasps. Cullen suspected she was angrier that he had told her to leave her weapons with her horse. He had his sword at his side, enough to reinforce their position. It was all they would need to deal with a negotiation with one noble.

Cullen knocked, and after a short wait, a neatly dressed man opened the door. His hair was immaculate, and although the lines on his face betrayed his age, he was still handsome. His slim build looked almost fragile, but he carried himself proudly, his head high as he led them into his home.

They sat in the lounge, a low table with a tea set between them. Ser Cormont poured out a cup for each of them, sipping slowly at his tea while they talked. Valina's demeanour had changed the moment the Lord had opened the door, a soft smile curving on her lips. She quickly charmed the man, and Cullen felt jealously prickle on his neck as they laughed.

'Lady Voclain, it is such an honour to have you in my home,' Cormont said, 'although your family conducts business quietly, tales of yours and your mother's beauty are common in Redcliffe, but they do not do you an ounce of justice.'

Valina laughed politely. 'Ser Cormont, you'll make me blush with such sweet words,' she said, glancing down with a soft sweep of her eyelashes, pink dusting her cheeks, 'you're making it ever so difficult to concentrate. I am here as an ambassador for the Inquisition, after all.'

'Of course, my Lady, of course…'

Within half an hour, the Lord was tripping over himself to meet her every request. As much as Cullen was frustrated by her methods, he could not deny that they were effective.

After cementing Ser Cormont's support, Valina excused herself, keeping up the appearance that he had flustered her with his attention. She quickly swept the house, finding nothing that most would consider incriminating. In fact, the entire residence was almost spotless. Suspicious, in the house of a Lord who had no staff.

Valina crept into the office, quickly searching for any papers. She approached the wardrobe, glancing at the floor. Something dark and wet dripped slowly from the bottom of the doors, pooling beneath the frame. She opened the doors quietly, and her gaze hardened as she stared inside. Dull eyes stared back.

The man in the wardrobe was stocky, and a dark neatly trimmed beard framed his face. From the marks on his skin, he had been tortured; she noted half healed bruises on his arms beside fresher scratches. His throat had been slit, his mouth still hanging open with his final breath.

Valina rushed back to the lounge. With the real Cormont stuffed in a wardrobe, there would be no alliance gained. She found herself wondering what they would do with the impostor. She knew the Inquisitor had the power to judge people for crimes, but identity theft seemed too small to bother Malakar. She supposed that Cullen would deal with the matter and hand the man to the appropriate authorities.

As Valina approached on the impostor's side, she noticed that he had changed his stance. He was leaning towards Cullen now, his hand tucked beneath the table between them. Among their words, she heard the soft click of a blade leaving a sheath. As she came closer, his eyes darted to her, and she saw a panic set in.

This wasn't just a case of identity theft.

Valina twisted her hands at her waist as if nervous, tilting her head casually. 'Have you fine men wrapped up the last of our business?' she asked, smiling softly.

The ruse failed. Valina cursed in Tevene when his hand shot up, and he lunged for Cullen. She sprinted forward, tackling the impostor with as much force as she could muster in her petite frame, getting him as far from Cullen as physically possible. He hit the floor hard, a crack sounding as his head hit the floorboards. She thrust her knee into his throat, a strangled sound escaping him, but he still had hold of the dagger. She heard the fabric of her jacket rip as he slashed blindly. She slammed her palm into his nose and grasped the blade just before it sank into her side. It ripped at her hand, but she wrenched the dagger from his grip just as the tip grazed her skin.

Blood poured from his face, and with a final shuddered breath, his limbs fell lifeless to the floor.

Valina dropped the blade. Although she could not feel much of the pain her hand bled profusely. She stared at her hand with a scowl. 'Kaf _fas_ ,' she breathed as she stood. She turned to Cullen. He had risen from the lounge, a stunned look on his face. Although it had felt slow for her, she knew that everything had probably occurred quicker than most people could follow.

'Maker's breath,' he said, 'you just killed a Lord.'

'No, I killed a fake,' Valina said as she stalked from the house. She ripped a piece from her torn jacket, wrapping her hand as she walked. She glanced down at her hip, but there was only a small line of blood along her skin. It would not even scar.

'What do you mean, a fake?' Cullen asked as he followed her.

'I mean the real Cormont is stuffed in the wardrobe upstairs,' she said with a sigh, 'whoever that man was that we just met, probably a Venatori spy, slit Cormont's throat ear to ear sometime last night.'

'Show me.'

She turned abruptly, and he nearly walked into her. 'Why?'

'Because… because I need to confirm it.'

She tried to catch his gaze, but he glanced away. She felt the blood in her veins turn to ice.

'After everything I have done, you still don't trust me. Fasta _vass_ , I helped you secure the Orlesian court and end a civil war! But then you got greedy; you and your Inquisition sought _me_ out, remember? And even though I could have just killed your incompetent scout and brushed my hands of this, I brought him home in one piece and even offered my talents for your cause. I have spent weeks bringing in new alliances and support that you didn't have the resources or influence to secure, and I have told you things that I…' Her arm felt hot as she clenched her fist tight, blood dripping from it now. 'You know what, Cullen. Next time someone tries to kill you, I'll just let them slit your throat and stuff you in a wardrobe. Maybe you can keep Cormont company.'

Valina reached her horse and found her blades. She cut the rope and climbed into the saddle, riding off into the distance.

* * *

Cullen kicked the dirt roughly as he marched back up to the house. He bypassed the lounge and checked every room before he climbed the stairs. Everything seemed normal. Even the office was immaculate, but for the partially open wardrobe. As he approached, he saw a pool of blood on the floor, mostly hidden beneath the frame. He opened the doors.

'Maker's balls.'

He reached down, touching the man's cheek. His skin was cold. He'd been dead for hours.

Cullen noticed a thin gold chain hanging around his neck. He reached for it, pulling hard to break the clasp. The Cormont family crest was engraved on the medallion, and he cursed again. It had all been a trap, and he had missed the signs. He had only noticed the blade when the imposter had drawn it, preparing to attack. If Valina hadn't been so quick, if she had returned a moment later, Cullen would probably be the one on the floor in the lounge with blood pooling around him.

He sprinted down the stairs and out to his horse, hoping Valina would return to Skyhold.


	5. Difficult Decisions

**Chapter Five**

 **Difficult Decisions**

It took almost a day of hard riding to return to Skyhold. It was late in the evening when Cullen entered the newly repaired gates. He left his horse with some soldiers and walked to Herald's Rest, aching from the journey. Even as his body protested, his pace was brisk; he almost jogged, drawing a few curious gazes as he threw open the heavy door. In the back of the tavern, he found Iron Bull, the Qunari leaning against the wall in his usual spot.

'Bull.'

'Commander,' he said with a nod, 'you look ruffled.'

Cullen ignored the comment and the smirk that accompanied it. 'Have you seen Valina?'

'Up on the ramparts. She got back about half hour ago. I wouldn't go near her, though. She'll throw a dagger.' He pointed at a bloodied bandage on his arm. 'Seriously.'

Cullen turned on his heel, relief flooding him. He faintly heard Bull call out a warning behind him, but he ignored the Qunari's words, his mind a rush of thoughts. When Valina had first arrived at Skyhold, she frequently went to a section of the wall near her quarters to think or observe the daily workings of the fortress, but the longer she had stayed, the more she had favoured a section near his quarters, claiming she had a better view of the training ring.

He took the stairs two at a time, slowing as he got closer to the top of the wall. He paused on the last step, peeking around the stone. Valina was leaning against the wall, staring out at the mountains that surrounded the fortress. When he took the final step, he heard something sail past his ear.

'The next one won't miss.'

Cullen felt a chill roll down his spine. He loved her voice for the life that danced within, but now her words were hollow, just like the last smile she had given him at the lake.

Cullen steeled himself and took a few steps closer. 'Valina, I–'

'Save your half-assed apology,' she said, 'I don't need it. I'm a mercenary, remember? No one trusts me, so I shouldn't have expected you to.'

'I do, Valina, I was just shocked by what happened.'

She turned to face him. 'I'm calling bullshit, Commander,' she snapped, 'you just don't want to admit that without me, you'd be dead right now.'

'I can look after myself.'

'Clearly not. You didn't even notice that he was concealing a weapon.'

'I did, actually.'

'What, when he reached for it?' Valina said, and something dark flashed in her serpentstone gaze, 'I didn't grab his blade for fun, Cullen. I grabbed it because even when he was half dead, he could still move fast enough to stab me in the side nearly. You'd have had a dagger in your neck before you could even think about drawing your sword.'

'You… you grabbed the blade?'

Valina rolled her eyes at him and ripped off her glove, thrusting her hand toward him. Angry cuts lined her palm, the wounds roughly stitched together. He realised she had probably had to do it while riding, and he felt his chest tighten as if he had been hit. Her voice filled his mind, the memory surging forth.

 _…I was trained to do whatever was necessary to defend myself, even if it meant taking an attacker's weapon by the blade…_

Valina had been unarmed, at his insistence, and still, she had put her life in danger, all to save him. Anger burned hot in his veins as he realised that she could have died in that house. But for what? For a lyrium addicted former Templar, who hardly had the strength to stop himself from descending into madness?

 _No._

'Why would you do that? Why would you put yourself in harm's way? You could have–'

Something in her gaze snapped. 'Don't pull the chivalry act, Commander, because it doesn't work on me,' she snarled, and he could feel the bite in her words, ' _you_ are the one that insisted I shouldn't carry a weapon. I have been in my fair share of dangerous situations by choice, but don't you dare flip this on me as if it's my fault. As far as I'm concerned, you _put_ me in harm's way.'

'Only because I…' his fists clenched at his side. He could not deny that she was right, but surely that was just a part of this war? 'If you have such a problem with how the Inquisition does things, why are you here, Valina?'

A bark of laughter escaped her. 'Because you asked me to be here!' she said, 'your Inquisition needs me and you know it.'

Cullen stormed closer. Anger churned in his stomach, searing him from the inside as he approached. He pushed her back against the wall. She did not flinch, even as his hands hit the stone beside her, boxing her in.

'We have plenty of agents at our disposal,' he snapped, his tawny gaze bearing down on her, 'you said it yourself, Valina, that you didn't even want to be involved in this. Why don't you just leave?'

'Because none of your agents a fraction as good as me.'

Cullen leant closer, barely an inch between them. 'What game are you playing?'

'The game you want me to play, Commander,' Valina said, and he could feel the heat of her breath caress his lips, 'you just keep changing the rules.'

Her serpentstone eyes captured him. The colour in her irises flared, a heated answer to his own gaze. With the smallest look she could draw him in, and he found himself falling once more.

From the very first moment they met in the Winter Palace, she had maddened him. She was as addictive as the lyrium that called him in his weakest moments, and he desperately craved a taste. He felt his anger dissolve, turning on itself, replaced by a desire so hot he thought he would ignite.

Valina grasped his shirt, using her strength to turn him. Just as he had done, she pushed him back, pinning him against the stone. Her body moulded to his, her thigh wedged between his legs. A broken gasp escaped his lips as her nimble hand slid between them, cupping him through his pants. When she rubbed the heel of her palm along his growing length, he moaned, the rich sound rumbling deep within his chest.

'Oh handsome, I could read you from a mile away. You're an open book to me, and I _like_ reading,' she purred, her lips trailing over his neck, 'you can't bluff me, Cullen. Stop trying.'

Valina pushed away from him, turning on her heel. She disappeared down the stairs without looking back, and he sucked in a ragged breath. He stared at the space where she had been. The heat of her thigh lingered on his own, as did the touch of her hand. He realised they hadn't been fighting about the mission, and he felt his chest constrict tighter.

 _…One day, you'll work out what you want to do with me… I look forward to that day, Cullen…_

He was pulling her in, wanting all that she offered to him. He was desperate to find comfort in her embrace, to spend hours listening to her sultry voice breathing his name and exploring every inch of her sun-kissed skin, desperate to have _her_ name tumble from his lips in abandon as they shared the passion that danced between them. But as soon as she got too close, he ran from her, too scared to let her see that his strength was failing.

Cullen stalked to his quarters, slamming the door behind him. He leant his forearms on the door, his hands balling into fists, preparing to punch the wood, but a creak sounded behind him. The snarl dropped from his lips when he looked at his desk; Dorian sat behind it, his feet propped up on the sturdy table top, surprise written on his face.

'Need to let off a little steam, Commander?' the mage asked, glancing down, his eyebrows arching impossibly higher, 'or a lot…'

'What do you want, Dorian?' Cullen asked, harsher than he intended, but he was too tightly strung to maintain any air of civility.

'Well, I was going to see if you felt like a spot of chess and then sneakily ask how the mission went, but I think I have my answer.'

The mage glanced down again, and Cullen pulled at his surcoat, trying to hide the bulge in his pants.

Dorian dropped his feet off the desk, walking around the table to one of the doors. 'I wish I could stay, Commander, but Mal would be ever so jealous,' he said, barely stifling a smirk, 'I'll… leave you to relax, or whatever you need to do.'

The door closed behind Dorian, and Cullen climbed the ladder. He stripped quickly, throwing his clothes wherever they fell. He just needed to rest. The return trip to Skyhold had been long and arduous, and he could feel exhaustion weigh on him. He tossed back the covers and slid beneath them, expecting to collapse into the warmth of the bed, but every brush of the sheet was torture on his sensitive skin. Thoughts clouded his mind, and an ache settled over his bones.

Cullen's hand brushed something soft beneath the pillow. He grasped the silky material, and a curse fell from his lips. The black gloves stared back at him as if shaming the thoughts in his mind, but he was drawn to them all the same. When he pressed the gloves to his cheek, the scent of roses hit him, and he could take no more. He rolled onto his back, his hand trembling as it trailed below the covers. He slid the sheet down from his hips, and a moan vibrated in his chest as he grasped his aching cock, stroking slowly.

His mind emptied of his warring thoughts, replaced by her serpentstone gaze and wicked lips. He imagined her hand on his skin as he stroked from base to tip, and he felt a drop of pre-cum bead on the head. Soon, his breath came in sharp gasps, his toes curling. His back arched from the mattress as he quickened his hand and a shiver rolled down his spine.

Cullen muffled his cry with the gloves, feeling his seed land on his chest as he came in hot lashes that burned his skin. He slowed his strokes, drawing out his orgasm, revelling in the slow sparks that tingled on his skin in the wake of his release. He was panting as he stared up at the broken ceiling, a bead of sweat rolling slowly down his neck. The release, the culmination of weeks of pent up desire, soothed a part of him, but the guilt that followed surged stronger.

Valina was the embodiment of control and strength, while he was weak. He had not managed to tell her how he felt, how much he enjoyed her company, how desperately he wanted to claim her lips and caress her skin, despite how desperately he wanted to find the words.

Cullen resolved himself. He needed to deal with this madness, needed to stop the nightmares and doubt. Tomorrow, he would see Cassandra.

* * *

Valina stayed in her room all night, calming her mind. After a few hours of sleep, she cleaned the cuts on her hand and replaced the stitches. As midday neared, she left her quarters. She passed the training ring, pausing for a moment to watch two soldiers spar before she started toward Herald's Rest, her stomach grumbling eagerly, but she paused again when she heard muffled shouting in the building beside the training ring.

Valina glanced over, her ears straining to hear the voices. It was not rare to hear shouting in the stronghold, but it was normally soldiers shouting, competing. One voice never dominated. She darted to the side of the building, carefully turning the doorknob and opening the door a crack just enough to hear better. She crouched low, pressing her ear to the small gap.

'...you asked for my opinion, Cullen, and I have given it. Why would you expect it to change?'

'I expect you to keep your word,' Cullen shouted, 'it's relentless, Cassandra. I can't–'

Cassandra's voice remained even. 'You don't give yourself enough credit. You have made it this far. I doubt any other has done so before you.'

'If I am unable to fulfil the vows I made then nothing good has come of this. Would you rather save face than admit–'

'And people say I'm stubborn! This is ridiculous, Cullen.'

'Why did I even bother coming here?'

'You tell me.'

Valina heard a chair clatter to the ground, and then a door slammed. A feminine sigh echoed in the room. Valina opened the door slowly, peeking into the room. The Seeker's back was to her, her hands resting on a table.

Valina approached. 'Cassandra?'

The warrior spun to face Valina, her fists rising slightly, prepared for a fight. Her eyes locked on Valina and she quickly dropped her hands. 'Maker's breath, but you startled me.'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I heard shouting.'

Cassandra's gaze assessed her. The woman was perceptive, and though she had once questioned Valina's presence at Skyhold, she had seemed more amicable lately.

'You know that Cullen was a Templar?' she asked.

'From the moment I first saw him, yes. It's obvious in the way he carries himself.'

'Did he tell you that he is no longer taking lyrium?'

'No,' Valina said slowly, and pieces began to click into place in her mind, 'he didn't.'

'I thought, what with the time you have spent together…' Cassandra shook her head subtly. 'It doesn't matter. He's not willing to listen.'

'To what?'

'To reason. Cullen thinks he needs to take lyrium again, that he is failing in his duties, but he is stronger than he believes.'

'How is he failing?'

'I do not know. From what I have seen, he has been vital to the strength of the Inquisition, but his past plagues him,' she said, leaning on the table, 'mages have made their suffering known, but the Templars never have. They are bound to the order, mind and soul, and someone is always holding their lyrium leash. I have been monitoring Cullen carefully, as he asked. He has a real chance to break that leash. I believe that he can prove to himself, and anyone that would follow suit, that it is possible. He _can_ do this. I knew that when we met in Kirkwall.'

'You knew him before?'

'Yes. He is a fine warrior and an excellent commander. We cannot lose him, but he does not see how strong he is. I wish I could make him see that.'

'Thanks, Cassandra.'

The Seeker nodded, and Valina left her.

As Valina walked up the stairs towards Cullen's quarters, she finally understood why he had nightmares, why he was distracted.

Why he had tried to distance himself from her.

As she approached the door, she heard something shatter inside. She opened it carefully, peeking in through the crack. A wooden box lay smashed on the stone floor, the contents shattered and strewn across the cobblestone. She glanced at his desk. Cullen leant on the edge, his head down, his shoulders heaving.

Valina bent down, picking up the damaged injector. She stared down at the brass instrument. For something so small, it was capable of causing so much pain.

Cullen looked up as she stepped into his office, glass crunching under her boots. She met his gaze. His usually bright eyes seemed dark, and she could see that they were tinged red from tears.

'Valina, what are you–'

She held up the injector. 'This is why you were distracted.'

He bowed his head, and she could sense his shame clouding the room. 'Yes.'

She gripped the small instrument tighter in her hand. 'Cullen, what is going on?'

'Why do you care?' He snarled as she stepped closer. He attempted to move from his desk but almost collapsed. He caught himself and sucked in a pained breath.

Valina fought the anger the swelled in her. 'You may not believe it, but I do have a heart.'

Cullen looked up. Valina was not guarding her gaze; she was opening herself to him again. He could see concern, anger, fear, all churning deep within the green depths of her serpentstone eyes.

He rubbed his hands over his face. 'I know, I'm sorry,' he said. His skin was pale, and she could see exhaustion settle over his eyes. 'The other day, when I told you about my past, what I did before I joined the Inquisition...' He shook his head. 'I lied to you, Valina. I never told you what really happened in Ferelden's Circle. Or Kirkwall.'

'Then tell me now.'

She placed the injector on the edge of the desk and reached for him. Her hand covered his. He looked up in surprise. He met her green eyes, expecting judgment, but he found only peace within them.

He took a deep breath. 'The Circle was taken over by abominations,' he started, 'the Templars… so many of my friends were slaughtered, and I was–'

He struggled to say the word, even after ten years.

'It's okay, Cullen.'

He remembered what she had told him, remembered what she had endured in the name of her safety. If anyone could understand, she could.

Cullen took a steadying breath. 'I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, for so long... How can you be the same person after that? Even still, I wanted to serve. I thought if I continued to serve the Order that I would eventually recover from what happened. So, I was sent to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander there, and for what? Her fear of mages drove her to madness. The Kirkwall Circle fell, and innocent people, so many innocent people died in the streets. I… can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life anymore?'

'Yes,' she said, 'anyone who had been through what you have would never want to go back.'

He pulled away from her, turning to the window. He leant against the wall beside it, staring out through the glass. 'Don't, Valina.'

'Don't what?'

Cullen glanced back to her. She was leaning on his desk, her eyes locked on him.

'You should be questioning what I've done,' he said, 'I thought it would be better this way. I believed that, without the lyrium, I would regain at least some control over my life again, but these… _thoughts_ … won't leave me.' He looked down at his hands. They shook, and he snarled at them. 'How many lives depend on the success of the Inquisition? How many thousands… I pledged myself to this cause, and I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry.' He clenched his teeth, staring at the injector on the desk. 'I should be _taking it_.'

Cullen raised his hand, intending to punch the desk in his frustration or reach for the injector, he was not sure which. Valina caught his fist before it landed. He struggled against her strength, but her hand was still weak from the wounds. She had to grab his arm with her other hand.

Her green eyes blazed at him. 'Fuck the Inquisition,' she spat, 'is this what you want?'

She held his gaze, and he stopped fighting. There was no other answer.

'No,' he breathed, 'these memories have haunted me for so long. I should be used to it by now, but if they become worse… if I can't endure this...'

He reached for the injector, and she snatched it away from him. She dropped it, crushing it with her boot.

'You _can_.' She touched his hand once more, pulling down the wrist of his glove to bare his skin. Her soft touch anchored him, her finger tracing patters over the patch she revealed as a soft smile lit her lips. 'You are strong, Cullen. If you can put up with me for as long as you have without going mad, then you don't need the lyrium to keep your sanity. You're stronger without it.'

'Valina...'

She placed his hand on the table gently, turning to the door, leaving him to his thoughts. Outside Cullen's quarters, Cole was perched on the wall. When he saw her emerge, he hopped down, stopping beside her.

'I heard fighting.'

'It's okay Cole,' she said, touching his shoulder.

He glanced at the door. 'It will be. He is quiet, behind the noise. The little bottle makes him shake, but he tests the chains.'

Valina watched the rogue; his eyes were fixed on the door.

'How do you know that? I didn't think he had told anyone except Cassandra.'

'I can feel people, in their minds. I can soothe their pain. Make them forget.'

'Why don't you make him forget?'

'Because that is not what he needs.' Cole stepped closer to her, turning her palm up. He traced the wounds gently for a moment before he dropped her hand, staring at her. 'I used to feel so much anger from him, but since you came, he sounds new, like echoes of laughter on an empty riverbed, not for sailing, but safer. You are what he needs, even if he can't feel it yet.'

'Cole, I…'

The rogue wandered off before Valina could find any words. She took his place on the top of the wall, staring down at the fortress below. She pondered his cryptic words as she watched the troops train in the ring until the sky darkened and lights glowed from the busy tavern. Thoughts churned in her mind. She wanted desperately to comfort Cullen but did not know if she could soothe him; whenever she took a step towards, he took two back.

She heard the creak of door hinges and glanced back to Cullen's quarters.

Cullen rubbed his temple as he emerged. When he looked up, he saw her on the top of the wall and panic flashed in his gaze. 'Valina! Marker's breath, please get down from there!'

'Yes dad,' she quipped, swinging her legs back over the inner wall and hopping down onto the cobblestone path. She leant back, tucking her hands behind her to touch them to the stone. Cold seeped from the stone, soothing her as he approached slowly as if he expected her to run away. When she stayed in place, she thought she heard him sigh with relief.

'I wanted to thank you, Valina,' he said, rubbing absently at the back of his neck, 'when you came to see me… if there's anything…' He sighed, his hand dropping. 'This sounded better in my head.'

'Cullen, be honest with me,' she said, 'were you going to tell me about the lyrium?'

'I...' he glanced down. 'I don't know. I have wanted to tell you, but at the same time, I'm... I'm ashamed.'

'Why?'

'Because this makes me feel so weak Valina,' he said, his voice soft, 'I didn't want you to see me like that.'

'The pain... is it always that bad?'

'It comes and goes,' he admitted, 'sometimes I feel like I'm back there, but it has been better lately, since you…' He glanced away from a moment, rubbing his neck again. 'I am sorry, Valina. I know you don't believe me, but I do trust you. And I'm… I'm glad you're here. I've never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden's Circle. I was… not myself after that. I was angry, and for years that anger blinded me. I guess sometimes, it still does. I'm not proud of the man that made me, but now I know I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened.'

'Cullen, I know your past has been horrific, but it has shaped the man you've become, and...'

 _By the Maker, I wish he could see how strong he is..._

She fought the urge to clear her throat. 'Cullen, I like who you are now.'

'Even after–'

'Maker's breath, festis bei umo canavarum…'

Her accent deepened, and he felt a shiver roll down his spine. He'd heard her curse in Tevene before, but never more than a word or two. She tended to slip into the language when she was frustrated.

 _I deserve her anger..._

'I have no idea what that means,' he admitted nervously.

She rolled her eyes. 'You may not have noticed, but I've spent almost every waking moment in this fortress hitting on you and trying to get under you armour, something that normally takes a matter of minutes, not weeks,' she said, trailing her fingers over his chest plate, her hand pausing to rest over his heart, 'Bull might think it's just because you're smoking hot, but it's not. I like spending time with you, playing chess or telling stories, or just sitting in silence and watching so many thoughts play out on your face. You've done nothing to change how I feel about you. '

'Valina,' he whispered, struggling to find the right words, 'I can't say I haven't wondered what it would be like to…'

A soft blush tinted his cheeks as she asked, 'to what?'

'To… to have you,' he said, 'but we're at war. I didn't think it was possible that I–'

'I didn't come to Skyhold just to help, Cullen. I came for you. I told myself it was just because I wanted to see if I could make you blush so much that your ears smoked,' she said, and she couldn't hide a smirk, 'I never expected _this_ either.'

'It seems too much to ask,' he said, and he eased closer to her, 'but I want to, Valina.'

Cullen pushed her back against the wall, cupping her cheek with his hand. She loved the smile that lit his lips; she revelled in his rough edges, in the stubble on his jaw and the scar on his upper lip that pulled at his skin when he smiled. He probably thought of it as a flaw, but it only made him more enticing. He leant closer, and she felt his breath fall softly on her lips, heard his breath hitch as he neared.

'Commander!' called a breathless voice. A scout clambered up the last stairs beside them, leaning on his knees for a moment.

' _What_?' Cullen snarled. He snapped his gaze to the scout, and Valina thought she saw daggers fly from his tawny eyes.

The scout held out a report, oblivious to the glare that Cullen levelled at him. 'From,' huff, 'Inquisitor.'

'Can it _wait_ , Jim?'

The scout finally looked up, his eyes wide as he stared at them. Cullen was still pressed against Valina, his gaze icy. To Jim's surprise, Valina wiggled her eyebrows at him. He barely stopped his jaw from dropping when _she winked_.

Jim cleared his throat. 'I… it will be in your office.'

The scout turned on his heel, sprinting toward the door.

Cullen sighed. 'I think I need to–'

A frustrated noise escaped Valina and she grasped Cullen's shirt roughly, dragging his head down to hers. She claimed his lips, and he felt desire ignite inside him. He pressed her back against the wall, harder than he had intended, but she did not seem to mind. She pulled him closer, her body moulding to his. His hand trailed down to her hip. He clutched her thigh, dragging it up his body, and she melted into his embrace. She moaned against his lips, and he nearly lost all control at the throaty sound. When he pulled back, panting, he was pleased to see that she was just as affected as he was.

'That was… nice,' he said, tracing her cheek with his thumb. His gaze was golden, his eyes trailing back to her lips.

'It took you long enough, Commander,' she whispered, before drawing him back down. His tongue traced her lips, a silent plea to deepen the kiss to which she eagerly surrendered.

When he pulled back again, far more reluctantly, his skin was flushed. 'I… I should see what that scout wanted, but maybe later–'

'I'll give you ten minutes,' she said, breathless, 'then I'll be in your bed, and I will be waiting for you. _Impatiently_. Don't make me wait, Cullen.'

A smile lit his lips as he pulled away from her. He did not dare look back as he walked to his quarters, knowing he would be unable to resist even the smallest flash in her wicked green eyes. He threw the door open but almost stumbled over his feet at the sight that greeted him.

'Cole?'

The rogue was sitting on his desk, his feet bouncing. He looked up from beneath his large brimmed hat. 'Cullen.'

'What are you doing in here?'

'I wanted to check on you.'

'Thank you Cole, but I'm fine. Could you please get down from there?'

'Oh, right,' the rogue said as he slid from the desk, fixing the sheets of paper he disrupted, 'this is where she belongs.'

Cullen baulked at the words. 'What in the–'

'I've heard it in your thoughts when it's hot,' he said, 'she feels it too. You are quieter now, with her. This desk should be hers...'

Before Cullen could open his mouth, Cole slipped from the room. Cullen shook his head, moving to his desk. He found the parchment and broke the seal, reading the report.

He crumpled the parchment with a curse, marching to the door which would take him to the main hall.

* * *

On the other section of the wall, Valina saw Cullen exit his office. She followed him, sprinting to catch up. 'Cullen,' she called, 'what is it? What's happened?'

He passed her the report when she reached him. She unrolled it, keeping pace with him as she read. 'Fasta vass,' she snapped, handing it back to him.

They burst into the war room to find Leliana, Josephine, and the Inquisitor waiting.

'It's been confirmed?' Cullen asked as he approached the table, Valina on his heels.

'Yes,' Leliana said, 'we just received word from Hawke and Alistair. The Wardens are at Adamant.'

'Then we must lay siege to the fortress.'

'Adamant Fortress has stood against the darkspawn since the time of the second blight,' Leliana said.

'That means that it was built before modern siege equipment, then,' Cullen said, 'so we will be able to do significant damage to the walls with a good trebuchet.'

'Lady Seryl has already made arrangements to lend us some trebuchets,' Josephine said.

'There is still a demon problem to address,' Malakar said, 'the Wardens have summoned an army. We can breach the gate with as much force as we like, but if the Wardens already have their demons, it may be pointless. '

Leliana shook her head. 'We can take advantage of choke points in the construction and limit the field of battle, then–'

'We can cut off their reinforcements,' Valina said.

'And carve a path so you can reach Warden-Commander Clarel,' Cullen finished.

'Or a lot of soldiers will die in vain,' Malakar countered.

'Not if I am the one to carve the path,' Valina said.

All eyes fell on her.

'Our soldiers know the risks,' Josephine said, 'they know what they are fighting for.'

'So they should die for it?' Valina asked, 'I'm worth a battalion of the rookie soldiers out there. I can carve through a man a second in the heat of battle, all without getting blood on my coat. Let me help.'

'You can't go in by yourself,' Cullen said.

'I never said I would,' she quipped, 'but if I'm out there, the chances of survival for your men are significantly higher than if I'm not.'

Cullen went to argue, but Leliana stopped him. 'She's right, Commander. We need experienced people out there. It will be difficult to get the warriors to turn against Clarel directly, but they may be sympathetic to our cause if we present a strong united force. The mages, however, are slaves to Corypheus.'

'So they will fight to the death,' Valina said.

Cullen sighed. They were right. But, more than that, he would not try to stop Valina. He knew her strength and resolve, and to deny it would destroy any future he might dare to imagine with her, just when he had managed to seize hope for it.

Cullen resolved himself. 'We are ready to march, Inquisitor,' he said, 'at your word.'

Malakar leant on the table. For a moment, the weight on his shoulders appeared crushing, but when he lifted his head, there was a powerful resolve in his eyes. 'Then we march for Adamant,' he said, 'tonight.'


	6. Here Lies the Abyss

**Chapter Six**

 **Here Lies the Abyss**

 _Adamant Fortress_

 _The Western Approach, Orlais_

The trebuchets sang as rocks soared towards the fortress, breaking large chunks off the fortifications. When the first wall at Adamant broke, the Inquisition troops roared. The battering ram rolled forward, breaking through the sturdy gate, allowing Malakar to enter the fortress with Dorian, Cassandra, Bull, Alistair, and Hawke, but their path would not be easy. When Cullen returned to lead the troops outside the walls, Valina darted to his side, seeing the concern in his gaze.

When Cullen returned to lead the troops outside the walls, Valina darted to his side, seeing the concern in his gaze.

'We gave them a path,' she said, her blades drawn, 'how can we help now?'

'There's too much resistance on the battlements,' he said, his eyes following the top edge of the wall, 'we can't get a proper foothold. We have to get the troops up there.'

'Leave it to me.'

'Valina!'

'Don't wait up for me, honey,' she shouted as she ran to the nearest ladder. She clambered up the rungs, swinging to the bottom side twice to bypass the soldiers that hindered her progress. She threw herself over the wall, landing hard on the shoulders of a Warden warrior. His back hit the ground, and she quickly found the gap in his armour at his underarms, thrusting the blades into the sides of his chest.

Valina jumped up, spotting a group of shades nearby. As they turned to her, she disappeared. She darted behind them, leaping to thrust her blades into one of their backs before she spun, meeting the next shade head on. She felled it just as quickly, sprinting along the top of the wall. She slaughtered everything in her path, her movements never faltering as she dodged the bodies of fallen Wardens and demons alike. She crouched low as a flaming boulder sailed overhead. It shattered a short distance away, and she covered her eyes. When she dropped her hand, she saw demons approaching. She disappeared once again, dispatching them. Heavy footsteps came up behind her.

She crouched low as a flaming boulder sailed overhead. It shattered a short distance away, and she covered her eyes as debris rained down. When she dropped her hand, she saw demons approaching. She disappeared once again, dispatching them.

Heavy footsteps came up behind her and she turned as a voice shouted, 'Valina!'

'I've got this side, keep moving!' She screamed, waving Malakar and the others forward, 'I'll clear as many siege points as I can and get our soldiers on the walls. Find Clarel. It's the only way this ends.'

The Inquisitor nodded, and he and his companions sprinted off.

Valina reached for the ladder before it could fall back, securing it on the wall. She looked down long enough to check on the troops, then continued along the wall, following Malakar's path. He and his companions had gone down a set of stairs, moving deeper into the fortress. She clambered around the wall, taking out as many demons as she could. She secured another ladder to the fortress, shouting down at the troops to climb.

When she reached the next zone, she slid to a halt. A massive pride demon paced on the top of the wall. Bodies were strewn around it: it had plucked the Inquisition troops from the ladder as they climbed, breaking each one before they had a chance to set foot on the stone.

'Kaffas,' Valina whispered, her grip tightening on her daggers. She stealthed before she stalked towards it, stepping carefully around the demon. If she could distract it long enough, some of the troops would make it onto the wall.

When she came to stand at its back, she steeled herself. She slashed at its ankles, cutting deep. The beast stumbled, but quickly recovered, turning on her. Valina rolled to dodge the sweep of its massive arm, popping up behind it to slam a dagger into its skin, level with its hips. The demon roared and electricity danced on its hands as she ripped her blade from its back.

She concealed herself again, but barely dodged the whips of electricity it hurled in anger. She rolled away, psyching up to run at it again. She took off at a sprint, leaping onto its knee. She sacrificed her stealth to gain the best advantage, pushing off from its leg to land on its shoulders, her legs locking around its neck. She cried out as she slammed her blades down into the top of its head.

The wall around her shook as it landed with her still on its back. Valina glanced up as the first soldier clambered over the wall, her eyes darting between the dead demon and Valina.

'Maker's breath,' the soldier muttered.

'Hold this section,' Valina barked as she stood, 'I took care of the big guy. Make sure I didn't waste my time.'

'Yes, my Lady!'

Valina sprinted back along the wall. Enough was clear now for Inquisition forces to take control of the battlements. As she rushed towards a ladder, a deafening screech sounded above. She looked up, and a massive dragon flew above, circling, searching. She stared at it, and her blood chilled in her veins.

She found a ladder near the gate and slid down it. The battle still raged outside the fortress, but the demons were being hindered by the choke points Leliana had discovered on the plans. They could only hope that the dragon would not hinder their assault.

Valina climbed onto a boulder, searching for Cullen. She spotted him in the thick of the battle, his distinctive armour making him stand out among the Inquisition soldiers. His face was splattered with gore from the fighting, and as he swung his blade, expertly cutting down any demon that approached, she wondered how he could have ever thought that he wasn't strong enough without the lyrium. She fought her way through the demon forces, determined to reach him. A demon tried to sneak up behind Cullen, and Valina sprinted past, jumping up to kick it hard in its twisted face, knocking it down before she stabbed it with both blades. She rushed to Cullen's side, and he glanced at her as he fought.

'Thank the Maker, Valina–'

'How are we doing?'

'Well enough,' he called above the clash of weapons, 'many of the Warden warriors have stood down and now fight for us. I just hope Malakar and the others made it through to Clarel.'

An almighty boom sounded somewhere inside the fortress. The crumbling of stone echoed, reverberating through the walls until it reached the troops outside the gates. A collective shudder worked through the Inquisition force as the dragon roared, rising from behind Adamant. It flew off, seeming to struggle to stay airborne.

'Now's our chance,' Valina shouted.

The demons began to panic more easily without the presence of the dragon, scattering for easy pickings. Valina and Cullen fought their way forward.

'We need to find the Venatori Magister,' he shouted, forging his way through the crowd.

They reached the gates and charged through them. Bodies of Wardens and demons were strewn around.

'Malakar and the others went this way,' Valina called, darting ahead of Cullen. He followed her through the fortress. They stayed on the walls as much as they could, weaving through the Inquisition forces, not knowing how many Warden mages remained further inside. Some of the sections were damaged severely, but she had an eye for ledges that would allow them to get around. She darted through an archway, then grasped his shirt to hold him back before he got too close to the crumbling edge.

'Maker,' Cullen said, staring down at the massive drop, 'you don't think–'

'There are no bodies down there, Cullen. They must be elsewhere.'

Valina glanced to the side. Curled up in the corner in bloodied robes was a man. She pointed to the magister.

Cullen nodded and ice filled his eyes. 'That's him.'

They eased along the edge of the broken stone towards the Magister. When they reached him, he looked up. Despite his injuries, his eyes burned with rage. He raised his hand in defiance against them, but Valina kicked him hard in the teeth. His head lolled, and he passed out. Valina pulled some cord from her coat pocket and quickly bound his wrists and ankles, then helped Cullen heft the unconscious mage onto his shoulder. They made their way back to the gate, dumping him roughly in the hands of Inquisition troops.

'Make sure he stays out,' Cullen said, 'and bind him tighter. If he can still twitch, use more rope. The Inquisitor will decide his fate.'

'Yes, Commander.'

The soldiers each offered a curt nod before they carried the Magister away.

Valina and Cullen returned to the battle, but they only managed to kill a few more demons before a loud crack echoed from the fortress. The demons collapsed, writhing as green light engulfed them. They seemed to melt into the earth, and an eerie quiet fell over the battlefield. Valina and Cullen glanced to each other; they knew what it meant. Malakar was alive, and he had closed the rift inside the fortress.

'It's over,' Cullen said, staring up at the walls. He sheathed his blade, then grabbed the nearest scout by the collar. 'Find the Inquisitor. Now.'

The man nodded, sprinting into the fortress.

All around them, the troops began to lower their weapons, the victory sinking in. An almighty cry of celebration echoed along the wall and throughout the fortress. Valina sheathed her blades. She stepped closer, touching Cullen's arm. 'Come on,' she said, 'the troops still need you.'

Cullen glanced down at her, then around at the battlefield. Wounded soldiers were being tended to, but they had still lost many fine men in the skirmish. He would ensure they were put to rest. He and Valina moved through the crowd, checking on some of the wounded soldiers who were awaiting care. Whispers rippled through the troops, and they looked up to see Malakar emerging from the fortress, Dorian at his side. Cassandra and Bull followed, Alistair a few steps behind, apparently injured. Hawke was no where to be seen, and by the sullen look on Malakar's face, Valina knew that she had not survived.

Valina and Cullen met them. 'Are you all right?'

'We're fine,' Malakar said, 'shaken, but fine. Alistair is injured.'

'The Wardens?'

'They fight with the Inquisition,' Alistair said, clutching at his side. Valina went to him, lifting his arm around her shoulders. 'I'm all right,' he growled, but his grimace betrayed him.

'Bullshit,' she snapped, 'lean on me.'

The Warden tensed, ready to argue, but he relented. 'Thank you.'

They returned to the camp nearby. Valina helped Alistair onto a stretcher in the medical tent, and a nurse tended to him. She left to find her own tent, but only after ordering a nervous scout to wake her in an hour. She stripped her clothes, washing the battle from her skin before she settled down on her mat, exhaustion quickly pulling her down to sleep.

* * *

As ordered, the scout came to wake Valina a little more than an hour after she had laid down on her mat. Despite the late hour, there was still plenty of movement in the camp, the hustle and bustle audible through the canvas sides of the tent. She stretched the aches from her bones. Bruises were beginning to appear on her skin from the fighting, but she had avoided any major injuries. She checked her hand. It was still healing from the imposter's blade, but it was progressing nicely. The stitches had been removed during the long march to Adamant, and the skin had held through the fighting.

Valina's clothes were splattered with blood, so she pulled on a fresh pair of leather pants and a new shirt, then donned her boots. She emerged from the tent but could see no familiar faces nearby, so she caught the attention of the nearest scout.

'Have you seen Commander Cullen?'

'No, m'lady, not since he returned to camp with you.'

She nodded, knowing his tent was nearby, but when she peeked inside, it was empty but for his armour and weapon belt. As she drew back and closed the flaps to the tent, steady footsteps approached.

'Looking for the Commander?'

Valina turned to face the Iron Bull, relieved again to see him unscathed. 'Have you seen him?'

'You going to stab me again if I don't talk?'

'Yes,' she said, glancing down, 'might aim lower this time, though.'

Iron Bull pointed into the forest at the far edge of the camp. 'Last I saw of him, he was heading that way,' he said with a smirk.

'Thanks, Bull.'

Valina turned in the direction he had pointed, weaving between tents and bustling soldiers. She glanced up at the sky, seeing only a few stars through the dense clouds. She walked briskly, scanning her surroundings with every step. The sounds of the camp became quieter, replaced by those of the small nocturnal forest animals. As she walked, a natural clearing appeared ahead where a stream had cut through the trees. Cullen was sitting on the body of a fallen tree at the edge of the creek, his head hanging as he scratched at the ground with a twig. Not wanting to startle him, she made her steps firmer, the soft leaves crackling gently beneath her feet. He looked up as she approached, his eyes wary until he found her bright gaze. He dropped the stick.

'What are you doing all the way out here?' she asked as she joined him on the log, her feet dangling, 'you should be resting.'

'As should you,' he said. Closer now, she could see that his hair was damp, a few droplets clinging to his skin from a quick wash in the stream.

'I had a short rest,' she said, 'it was enough.'

Cullen reached for her hand, gently sliding the sleeve of her shirt back to reveal her wrist. His brow furrowed as he stared at the bruises that were slowly blooming on her skin. 'You're hurt.'

'It's a war,' she said, leaning closer, 'it happens.'

'I wish you would wear armour.'

'Armour is heavy. It might be practical for a warrior, but it doesn't suit a rogue so well.'

'I guess you'd say no if I asked you to be a warrior?'

'I'm not stubborn enough.'

'Bullshit,' he said. A soft smile lifted his lips, but it dropped just as quickly.

'Cullen?' He refused to meet her gaze, and she reached to cup his stubbled cheek. 'Cullen, what aren't you telling me?'

He tried to look away, and she grasped his chin firmly, arching a dark eyebrow at him.

He sighed. 'I am struggling, Valina. We need to win this war, but everything I've seen… I'm trying to balance the necessary cost of battle against grief at the soldiers we have lost to this blasted war,' he said, glancing at his hands, 'I can't help but feel weak. I don't want to relapse, but surely I am not as strong as I once was.'

'You're talking about taking lyrium again,' Valina said, and he nodded. 'Cullen, you are strong. You just proved it. You probably cut down more demons tonight than a whole battalion of troops, all while shouldering the burden of leading the forces. You don't need lyrium.'

'So many died, what if–'

'Get up.' Valina slid down from the log, kicking off her boots. The leafy forest floor was soft beneath her feet as she turned to face him.

'What?'

'Up. Now, Commander,' she said, retying her hair in a high ponytail, 'don't make me ask again.'

'Why?' he asked, though he did stand from the log.

'Because we're going to fight,' she said, tying her shirt up just below her breasts, revealing her toned stomach, 'you and me, handsome. Right now.' She raised her hands. 'You don't think you're strong without the lyrium? Let's find out. No weapons, just hand to hand combat. Rogue versus warrior.'

Cullen couldn't help but smile as he took off his gloves, tucking them into his pocket. If he didn't know her as well as he did, he would have laughed at this petite woman challenging him to a fight: he towered over her, and she was probably small enough for him to throw across the clearing if he wanted to. He shrugged his surcoat from his shoulders, draping it over the tree trunk, then kicked off his shoes. When he stripped off his shirt she nearly purred her approval. His muscles rippled as he approached her, and she had to remind herself that she'd challenged him to a fight.

'Don't go easy on me,' she said, unable to stop her eyes from following the hard lines of his stomach down to the waist of his pants.

'Wouldn't dream of it.'

Valina smirked, then darted towards Cullen. He prepared to meet her head on, but she feinted left, so fast that she was a blur of colour. She tapped him on the back, and he stumbled away from her, spinning on his toes to face her. She darted at him, and he blocked her fist, dodging another blow. She began to get frustrated, his tactics defensive.

She spun away from him, stopping a few metres from his reach. 'You can't hurt me,' she said, fire burning in her eyes, 'stop holding back.'

Valina shot forward, landing a tap to Cullen's stomach before she dropped low, sliding between his legs. She jumped onto his back, locking her legs around his waist, but he caught her arms, pulling hard. Her legs released and he flipped her over his head and onto her back. She hit the earth with a heavy thud and air rushed from her lungs. Cullen took the advantage, picking her up bodily. He trapped her in his arms, crushing her back against his chest. Their bare skin met, their bodies heated from sparring. He tightened his arms, and she shivered as his stubbled chin brushed the top of her ear, his lips following.

'Trapped,' Cullen whispered.

Though Valina felt breathless, she smirked. 'You wish.'

She grasped his arms, arching her back. She twisted from beneath his grasp, turning to swing a kick into his chest. He fell backwards, and she followed him down, landing on top of him. She knelt above his stomach and grasped his neck, but not hard enough to prevent him from challenging her.

Their breaths were rough from the exertion of the fight; their skin was flushed with heat. For a long time, they did not move. Valina held his gaze as they caught their breath. She smiled down at him, her grip softening, her hand trailing to his chest.

'Told you I could pin you.'

He propped himself up on his elbows. 'I never doubted that.'

His tawny eyes melted to gold, and the heat in his gaze made her shiver. She lowered her hips over his and felt him grow beneath her. 'Commander,' she said, her voice breathless as she arched her hips towards him, cradling his erection with her body, 'I think you've finally worked out what you want to do with me.'

Cullen cupped the back of her neck with his hand, pulling her down. He claimed her lips, and she melted against his chest with a moan. He settled back on the forest floor, hands trailing down her sun-kissed skin. He grasped her thighs, drawing her tighter against him before his hands found her pert ass. His fingers splayed and his gripped tight, earning a moan when he ground his aching length against her core.

Valina wound her fingers into his soft hair, tugging gently, and his head dropped back. Her lips trailed over his stubbled cheek, down his neck, her teeth grazing his heated skin. He held her tighter to him, and a broken moan tumbled from his lips as she nibbled at his skin, the throaty sound turning to a hoarse cry as she bit harder. She brought her lips back to his, kissing him between her words as she said, 'now you're mine, Amatus…'

His mind lingered on the word, trying to remember where he had heard it before, but when she drew back his thoughts scattered. He watched as she untied her shirt from below her breasts. She stripped it slowly over her head, dropping it beside them. When she found his golden gaze, his eyes were hooded with desire.

Valina coaxed his hands from her hips, encouraging him to cup her soft breasts. She covered his hands with her own, relishing the tentative touch of his calloused skin. She guided his exploration, and he quickly learned how to massage her, that she liked it when he circled her dusky nipples with his thumbs.

Cullen sat up beneath her, cupping her breast to draw her nipple to his lips. He suckled her, and she felt a fierce clench in her core as his teeth grazed the sensitive tip. Her fingers entwined in his hair, holding his head to her chest. He rolled her onto her back, pinning her hips with his own as he trailed his tongue over her skin. She arched against him, and he groaned, his hand moving to pin her hips down.

'We're still wearing too many clothes,' she said, voice husky.

'I couldn't agree more.'

He ripped at the tie on her pants then stripped the offending garment from her legs, revealing her strong, supple thighs. His eyes followed the line of her sun-kissed skin, a low growl vibrating through his chest as he eased her legs apart. His gaze caught on the dark curls between her legs, and his breath hitched. Her delicate flesh glistened in the moonlight, her core wet with need. For him.

'Maker's breath…' Cullen's golden gaze burned hotter. 'I have dreamt of this moment, Valina,' he said, his voice low and rough with desire as he dropped down between her thighs, coaxing her knees onto his shoulders. She shuddered as his stubbled jaw grazed her inner thigh, his hot breath falling against her skin. 'I hope I can please you.'

The first lick was tentative, his tongue probing, searching. Valina moaned as he circled her clit with the tip of his tongue, her thighs tightening around his ears. He lapped at her silken skin. His firm tongue found her entrance, dipping inside. His moan vibrated through her, and her toes curled at the overwhelming sensation. She felt heat pool in her core.

'Cullen…'

He broke his kiss. She moaned her frustration as her peak receded. She propped herself up on her elbows to find his tawny gaze. His cheeks flushed. 'I've never–'

'Stop just before I orgasm again,' Valina said, a dark brow arching menacingly, 'and I'll edge you for a whole day, Commander.'

Confusion flashed in his eyes before he realised what she meant by _edge_. His eyebrows nearly shot off his forehead. 'Oh, you mean…' he glanced down. 'It felt–'

She smiled at him, wiggling her hips. 'You have a wicked tongue, handsome. _Use it._ '

'I'll take that as an order.' Cullen smirked before he dropped his head back down. He nuzzled the fine curls before his tongue slid over her clit again. He flicked his tongue over the tight bud and her hips bucked of their own will. He grasped her thighs with his calloused hands, holding her hips in place as he explored her. Her head dropped back, and she sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes sliding closed. Heat began to pool in her core again, a slow fire burning her up with the pleasure he gave. With a final flick of his tongue, she felt his lips seal around her clit. Her eyes shot open, and she could feel the smirk on his lips as he sucked.

A scream ripped from Valina's lips as pleasure burned through her. Her core clenched fiercely as she came, her back arching from the forest floor. He lapped at her silken skin throughout, drawing out her climax with his tongue. When he dipped into her centre, she thought she would come undone again. She rolled her hips and heard him growl. She lifted her head as he kissed her thigh, nipping at her skin. When she saw him thrust absently against the forest floor, his body seeking its own pleasure, she reached down to cup his cheeks, drawing him up her body. He seemed reluctant to kiss her, but she claimed his lips, moaning as she tasted herself mixed with his musky scent.

'My turn,' Valina whispered, flipping him onto his back. She knelt between his legs. She spread her hands over his chiselled stomach, following the line of golden hair that dusted his skin and disappeared into his pants. His erection strained against the dark fabric, desperate to be released. She untied the cord on his trousers, holding his gaze. She felt like she was unwrapping a treasured gift, she had waited so long to explore him. He shivered as she gently eased his pants over his hips, revealing him inch by inch. When his erection sprang free, she nearly purred. 'I can't believe you kept me from enjoying this for so long,' she whispered as her nimble fingers circled him, unable to touch her thumb to any of her fingers, 'it should be a crime to hide something so magnificent.'

She stroked him, and stars exploded in his vision. A rich moan rumbled from his chest, turning to a gasp when he felt her tongue dart over the slit. She moaned at the salty taste of him.

'Valina, you don't have–'

She cut him off as she flicked her tongue over him once more, dabbing at the bead of pre-cum. Serpentstone eyes captured his gaze, and he was nearly undone by the wicked look she gave him.

'But I _want_ to.'

Her tongue circled the head, and he cursed. His heels dug into the forest floor, and he barely stopped himself from bucking into her mouth. She took him deeper, the heat of her mouth enveloping the head of his cock. She wrapped her hand around the base of his shaft, stroking him as she sucked. Her lips slid over the sensitive top edge of the crown, moving back and forth, and when her teeth grazed his skin, a ragged cry wrenched from his chest. He clenched his jaw tight, fighting for control as she cupped his heavy sack, gently massaging him as she sucked his cock. He felt a shiver roll down his spine, and he reached for her.

'Sweet Maker,' Cullen breathed, cupping her cheeks. He pulled her head up before she brought him to the point of no return. His cock twitched impatiently, and he shuddered.

Valina crawled up his body, and he felt her rigid nipples trail along his chest. She claimed his lips in a searing kiss as she straddled him. She settled her hips over his, and he moaned into her mouth as her wet core cradled his aching cock. His hands moved to her thighs, and he dragged her along the length of his aching shaft, coating himself in her pleasure.

She rocked her hips, and the head of his cock found her entrance. He thrust into her waiting body, crying out as her silken walls enveloped him. His hands sought her pert ass, holding on for dear life as he throbbed inside her. She bit his bottom lip gently, holding him still as she eased further onto his shaft, taking him eagerly. She rolled her hips slowly, enjoying how he filled her. She cupped his stubbled cheeks, their tongues dancing, the taste of their sex mingling with the kiss. She kissed his neck, licking at the bruise she had left on his skin. She made him shiver, the sensation shooting straight to his shaft. He rocked beneath her, tentative at first, but her moans quickly spurred him on. When she sat up, stretching above him as she rode his shaft, he met her movements. He drew his legs up as he thrust and she gasped at the new angle, moaning his name between the slap of their flesh. Her serpentstone eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and as she looked down at him, her gaze was filled with desire. She cupped her breasts for him, pinching her nipples as she ground her hips.

Cullen reached up, gently pulling the tie from her hair. The dark strands cascaded down her back, tickling his knees. He cupped her neck, pulling her back down to claim her lips, her hair falling around his face, just as he had imagined so many times before. He growled against her mouth and rolled her onto her back, her hair spilling around her on the forest floor. Her green eyes were hooded when she looked at him, but a wicked smile crossed her lips as something primal flashed in his golden gaze.

She had awakened the lion.

Cullen's grip was almost bruising on her skin as he grasped her hips roughly, angling her so he could drive deeper, his pelvis grinding against her clit with every thrust. He rut over her, hungry for her pleasure. He reached between their bodies, angling his hips so that he could slide a hand through her dark curls, his finger finding her clit. She moaned as he circled the bud, his cock still buried deep inside her.

'Yes, Cullen,' Valina breathed, her thighs tightening on his hips. She jerked towards his touch, her nerves clenching tight, preparing for her climax.

'Like this?'

She nodded and her hands found his hips, her nails digging deep into his skin. Heat circled in her core. She screamed his name and her centre clenched tight on his shaft, her orgasm rippling through her.

Cullen withdrew his hand, focusing on his thrusts. He ground against her and a shiver rolled down his spine. A ragged shout ripped from his lips, his hips bucking. His cock pulsed inside her as her orgasm milked his shaft, the heat of his seed lashing at her core as he spilt deep inside her.

As his orgasm subsided, Cullen found the strength to withdraw from her body. He dropped his head to her chest, his breath ragged against her skin. Her fingers wound through his hair, her nails scraping his scalp. He felt her lips press softly to the top of his head. He lifted his head, finding her serpentstone eyes. He propped himself up on his forearm, reaching to cup her cheek with his calloused hand. He closed his eyes, touching his forehead to hers as he tried to catch his breath.

'That was…'

'I know,' Valina whispered. She stroked his stubbled cheeks with her nimble fingers, coaxing him to open his eyes. She found peace in his golden gaze, and a soft smile lit his lips.

Cullen kissed her softly, lingering on her lips. He pushed her back against the forest floor, and for a few more hours, they found peace in the other's embrace, the war a distant memory.


	7. Her Tender Touch

**Chapter Seven**

 **Her Tender Touch**

Valina woke to the sounds of birds and animals in the forest. She raised a hand to shield her eyes, blinking into the early morning sun. Feathers from the shoulders of his vest tickled at her cheek, combining with the delicious warmth she felt in her body. Memories of the night they had shared flooded through her.

She propped herself up on her elbow and felt a smile light her lips as she gazed down at his handsome face. She traced her fingers over his stubbled jaw, then the scar on his top lip, before she bent to touch her nose against his. 'I know you're awake,' she whispered, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

One tawny eye cracked open. 'Can we pretend a little while longer?'

'I think someone will start to look for us soon,' she said, fingers trailing down his chest, 'they might think that the crazy rogue who blew up Skyhold's gates has kidnapped their Commander. And, while I don't mind being caught naked on the forest floor, it could be scandalous for the Commander of the Inquisition.'

Cullen wound his fingers into her dark hair. 'I am a willing hostage.'

'Does that mean we're getting ropes out when we get back to Skyhold?' she purred.

'We'll talk about it.'

'Be still my beating heart, Commander…'

She claimed his lips. He felt his stomach dip, his body stirring as he inhaled her delicious rose-tinted scent, revelling in the taste of her lips. Even a night of love-making could not dim his desire for her.

He forced himself to pull away from her, unable to hide his sigh of disappointment.'We should get back,' he said reluctantly, tucking a few stray strands behind her ear.

She pouted at him, and he nearly caved.

'I guess we'll be good,' she said, 'just this once, though.'

Valina rose from the forest floor, stretching. She sauntered to the creek in the clearing. She could feel his eyes on her ass, and she smirked back at him. She sat on a smooth rock beside the water. The stream was clear and cool on her skin as she dipped her feet in, then washed herself gently. Her skin still tingled from their love-making, and she shivered as the cool water caressed her. Behind her, she heard him growl.

She glanced back, nibbling her lip. 'If you want to make it back to camp today,' she said, 'you best stop tempting me like that.'

Cullen cursed, reaching reluctantly for his pants.

* * *

When they were dressed, they returned to camp. As they walked, Valina slid her hand into Cullen's to entwine their fingers. He thought he felt his heart skip as she leant her head against his shoulder. She radiated a calm aura, and for the first time in so long, his mind was quiet.

As they reached the outskirts of the camp eyes darted in their direction, but none lingered. Although Valina had been an ally of the Inquisition for weeks, her explosive entrance was still vivid in the memory of the soldiers. None dared to stare as she and Cullen walked by, too fearful of her reputation.

Pack up was well under way in the camp. Valina retrieved her coat and effects from her tent. She shook dried blood from the leather before she shrugged it on. Cullen left her, but only to gather his armour from his tent. He returned fully dressed, a soldier at his side to take her bag and store it in the cart with his effects. They would have to make camp at least once more on the journey back.

They found the core group of Inquisition members preparing to mount their horses. Alistair waited with them. Although he stood taller than he had the previous night, he was obviously still in pain. Valina broke away from Cullen.

'How are you feeling?' she asked.

'As well as can be expected,' Alistair replied. He shrugged, the movement making him wince. 'I'm in one piece. That's what matters. Pretty sure my wife is going to kill me when she finds out about the all of this, though.'

'Your wife?'

'Feisty little mage, my Rokara,' he said, 'to be honest, I'm more scared of her than I am of Corypheus. I might get my balls burned off when I tell her what happened last night, so it's probably best to leave out the part about the Fade.'

'She sounds wonderful,' Valina said without an ounce of sarcasm.

He grinned. 'She is.'

'Is she a Grey Warden?'

'Yes… I fought her tooth and nail over, but she's stubborn.' A smile crossed his lips. 'I made her a Grey Warden a few months after we met. She said if I go into the Deep Roads, she's going with me.'

'Why isn't she with you now?'

'There are rumours about a potential cure for the Calling. If anyone can find it, she can. It also kept her safe from all this, so while I miss her, I am grateful for that. The thought of her being a slave to that monster…' He shook his head. 'Well, let's just say even thinking about the idea of it hurts enough.'

Alistair managed a slight bow before he headed to his horse.

Cullen rode up beside Valina on a massive steed. She took the hand he offered, and he pulled her up onto the saddle in front of him. She leant back into his chest.

'Don't want to let me out of your sight, Commander?'

He kissed her neck, and she could feel the smile on his lips. 'I'm not inclined to.'

The Inquisition troops began to march, Malakar at the head of the forces with Leliana and Cassandra. Valina and Cullen followed a short distance behind. Dorian rode up beside them. He looked over at them, and a dark eyebrow arched knowingly.

'Sharing a horse now, are we?'

Cullen kept his eyes forward, but Valina glanced over as the mage waggled his impeccably groomed eyebrows at them.

'Jealous, Dorian?' Valina asked.

'Extremely, if only because I nurse some of this jealousy on behalf of Malakar,' he said. His gaze flickered to Cullen, and he did a double take, a wicked grin on his lips. 'And you've certainly laid your claim.'

Cullen finally glanced over. 'What in the Maker are you talking about?'

'He's so innocent,' Dorian sighed.

Valina giggled. She reached back, brushing her fingers over Cullen's neck, just below his jaw. He felt a twinge of pain and his hand shot up to probe the spot.

'What the–'

'His first love bite. They grow up so fast, don't they?'

'He'll learn,' Valina said, and Dorian laughed heartily, almost sliding off his horse.

Cullen ducked his head down on her shoulder, hiding from Dorian.

'What's on my neck?' he asked, his voice low.

'A bruise, handsome, in striking colours,' she said, 'that happens to resemble an exact impression of my teeth. It'll fade. After a week or so.'

'Maker's breath,' he sighed, dropping his forehead onto her shoulder, 'I won't hear the end of this, will I?'

'Not for weeks,' she said, smiling as he kissed her neck, 'I promise I'll make it worth it when we get back to Skyhold.'

'I'll hold you to that.'

* * *

 _Skyhold, the Inquisition Fortress_

 _Frostback Mountains, border between Ferelden and Orlais_

The march back to the Inquisition fortress was long, but the time seemed to pass quickly. The victory at Adamant had boosted the morale of the troops, and there was an air of hope around the forces, especially among the surviving Grey Wardens.

Cullen found himself unable to wipe the smile from his lips, even as he dealt with the rowdy troops along the way. Valina had remained by his side throughout the journey, riding with him, laughing with him, and sharing his tent. He found her presence calming, and began to believe that she could sooth his very soul with a mere glimpse of her breathtaking smile.

He still suffered nightmares when they made camp each night, but, whenever he woke, it was not to fear, but to the soft touch of her hand on his chest, his neck, his cheek. She would draw him tight against her, stroking her fingers through his hair, singing softly in Tevene. As he drifted off each time, he wondered what she was saying. He thought about asking Dorian but wasn't sure if he could face the mage's torment just yet, not when the man wiggled his eyebrows at Cullen every time he got within eyesight.

The moment they reached the gates of Skyhold, they ducked away from the crowd, ignoring a few knowing glances. As they neared his quarters, he stopped her on the wall, searching for words.

'Valina, I was wondering,' he started, glancing down nervously, 'I know you have your own… what I mean to ask… would you…'

She smirked. 'Spit it out, handsome.'

He took a steadying breath, finding resolve in her serpentstone gaze. 'Would you like to share my quarters?'

'You mean our quarters?'

He stared at her blankly.

Valina nudged him, laughing. 'That was a yes, Cullen. As long as that's what you want?'

'It is,' he said, sounding more eager than he intended, though he found he did not care, 'if you want to.'

'Let's see,' she said, stroking her chin mischievously, 'sleep in bed all by myself, cold and lonely, or spend my nights in the arms of the devilishly handsome Commander of the Inquisition. How will I decide?'

He smiled, and her heart skipped in her chest. She took his hand, leading him to the door.

'You've convinced me,' she announced dramatically, 'I'm not sure my father would approve of me sharing a bed with such a devastatingly good-looking man out of wedlock, but what daddy doesn't know…'

'Won't hurt him?' Cullen finished tentatively.

She glanced back, a wicked smirk on her lips. 'Doesn't give him the opportunity to toast you.'

He gulped, unsure if she was serious. Knowing her, he suspected she was.

She closed the door behind them, then sauntered to his desk. She leant against the heavy frame, and heat flared in her gaze. 'Now, I believe I said something about making things up to you when we got back to Skyhold.'

He approached slowly, his eyes melting to gold as he stripped his vest, throwing it onto the back of his chair without looking away. He stood before her as he unclipped his armour, making a neat pile beside her. 'I do remember that.'

She slid her hands along the polished edge. 'What do you say, Commander? Think it will be sturdy enough?'

'I guess we'll have to find out.'

She hopped up onto it, wiggling back. 'So good so far.'

Cullen planted his hands on either side of her hips, leaning in. 'It's funny, actually,' he said, 'I feel like I should scold you. I told Cole off for sitting on my desk before we left for Adamant.'

'What was he doing on your desk?'

'He came to check on me. And when I told him to get down, he said...' Cullen laughed. 'That damn boy... he apologised because he said it's where _you_ belong.'

She arched a dark eyebrow on it.

'Isn't that _interesting_?' She said, and his cheeks began to heat before her eyes, 'as far as I recall, we've made love on a forest floor, in a tent… we've yet to test this surface.'

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. 'I… I had a dream, before, about…' He smiled softly, and she felt her heart melt at the look. She could provoke the lion inside him, and she loved him dearly for the wicked things he did to her in their love-making, but he still had the sweet air of the Chantry around him, the innocence that had tempted and challenged her.

'You don't have to be shy, Cullen,' she said, reaching out to draw him closer, 'not with me.'

He trailed strong hands down her thighs, pausing at her knees. He coaxed her legs apart, slipping his hips between them. 'I thought about us,' he said, and she shivered at the husky note in his voice, 'about making love… here.'

'Well, if I belong here,' she said, her heart kicking hard against her ribs as he pulled her tight against his chest, 'then, this is where I should be, isn't it?'

He smiled, dipping his head to trail his lips down her neck. She shivered as his hand slipped beneath her shirt, the leather of his gloves cold on her skin. He felt her hands tugging at his shirt, pulling it from the waistband of his pants to slip her hands beneath, eager to touch him, to feel the heat of his skin beneath her palms.

Cullen obliged her. He stripped his shirt and gloves, not caring where they landed as he reached for her coat. The leather fell back on the desk with a thud, and he nearly growled. She wore her light-weight tunic, the fabric almost sheer even in the muted light of their quarters. His eyes locked onto her dusky nipples, the material doing nothing to hide them from his gaze. He found the hem of her shirt once more, desperate to feel her supple skin.

'We're wearing too many clothes again, Commander,' Valina whispered, voice breathless as his hands skimmed higher, brushing the soft curve of her breasts.

'Indeed.'

'I think you're right.'

She hooked a finger below the waist of his pants, her skilled fingers making quick work of the tie. 'I have thought of nothing else today, except tasting you,' she said, and his knees nearly buckled as she freed his erection, her hand cupping him gently. When she stroked him, his head dropped onto her shoulder to stifle his moan. He gripped her hips, barely resisting the urge to rip her shirt in half. His lips found her neck, teeth grazing across her sensitive skin until she shuddered in his embrace. Her hand never stopped, her nimble fingers stroking him into a frenzy, his hips bucking involuntarily as her thumb traced the sensitive edge of the crown.

'Valina, I need–'

The door creaked loudly to his left, and a scream filled the room.

'Does no one know how to knock?' Cullen roared, forcing his member back into his pants with an almost painful shove. He turned on the wide-eyed scout, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he levelled a murderous glare at the man. 'For fuck's sake, _Jim_!'

At the sight of his commander, half-naked and with the eyes of a predator seeing vulnerable prey, Jim dropped whatever he had been holding and bailed out the door, slamming it behind him. Valina's sides ached with laughter, and she heard Jim scream, 'Maker, please don't let him hurt me!' through the door, but no other sounds followed. Apparently, Jim was running out of genuine fear for his life.

Cullen stalked to the door, checking that it was indeed closed. He crouched to pick up the parchment from the cobblestones. When he turned around, Valina was laughing so hard that she nearly fell off the front of the desk. He rushed to her, grasping her shoulders to prop her up, and she buried her face in his chest.

'What's so funny?'

'That guy is going to be even more terrified of you now than he was before, but I'm not sure if it'll be because you yelled at him, or because he's intimidated.'

'Intimidated by what?'

Her laughter renewed, and Cullen had to prop her up a moment longer. After a few deep breaths, she finally managed to point down at his crotch and said, 'the Mighty Commander.'

Cullen glanced down. In his rush to conceal himself, he had… failed.

'Sweet Maker,' he groaned, wishing he could sink into the cobblestones.

'Oh handsome, there were rumours before,' she said as she began to catch her breath, 'now you'll inspire fear in your troops, as well as a hint of jealousy.'

Cullen sighed. 'Are you done?'

'No, because while they bicker and bitch about how they wish they could be you or wish they could have you, I get to revel in the fact that every. Single. Delectable. Inch,' she said, beckoning him to come closer, 'of which there are _many_ ,' she continued, nibbling her bottom lip, 'is _mine._ '

His breath hitched as her gaze trailed down his chest, desire in her gaze that he still struggled to believe was for him.

Maybe he could cope with a few rumours…

Valina brushed her hand down his arm, slipping the letter from his hand. 'I think this can wait until later, don't you?' she asked, waving it before his face, 'we have more important things to–'

Her eyes caught on the wax seal. A sense of dread filled Cullen as her gaze lingered, shadows creeping in to cloud the vibrant serpentstone.

'Valina?' Cullen said tentatively. He ducked his head lower, trying to catch her gaze. He almost started when she shook her head subtly as if trying to cast off a nightmare.

'This isn't an Inquisition seal,' she said, her grip tightening on the letter. She glanced up. 'This is my family's crest.'

Valina held the letter flat between them. The seal was made of a dark green wax rather than the standard red he was used to seeing on Inquisition missives. It depicted a raven with a dagger clutched in its talons, the seal of the Voclain family.

She tore the wax, opening the letter, her eyes darting to read the contents. 'My darling,' she read, 'your mother and I are well. The weather has been pleasant here, and we hope that you have stayed warm and safe in your travels. We know you're very busy with your work, but we hope you can visit soon. We miss you terribly, as does Bones. With love, your mother and father.'

'That's very sweet,' Cullen said, but when he saw shadows lingering in her gaze, he was unsure if those had been the right words to say.

'It is,' she said, glancing up, and for the first time, he saw true fear in her serpentstone gaze. She clutched the letter tightly. 'Except for the fact that Bones died almost five years ago... Cullen, talking about our old mabari is a panic code. The fact that my parents sent me this means they're in danger.'


	8. The Voclains

**Chapter Eight**

 **The Voclains**

Valina jumped down from the desk, pulling on her coat. 'I have to go to them,' she said, snatching the letter from Cullen, 'we just took the Grey Wardens away from Corypheus at Adamant. We've been stopping his Red Templars and Venatori at every chance we get. We're slowly crushing his forces; he must be getting desperate.'

'What are you saying?' Cullen asked as he dragged on his shirt and righted his clothing quickly, realising she meant to leave.

'I'm saying that my father was born of one of the most powerful Altus families in Tevinter and he was being groomed to take his father's place as a magister, but it's no secret that he left to marry my mother. Corypheus _needs_ mages. He needs _slaves_. Where do you think he'll start searching for them?'

'Wherever he can.'

'Exactly. And my father isn't across a sea or hidden in a cave. He's in Orlais.'

'What if this is a trap?'

'It doesn't matter, Cullen. They're the only family I have. I have to go. I'm not afraid of a fight if that's what I must face.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

Cullen grasped her wrist. 'Valina.'

'Arguing isn't going to change anything, nor does it help,' she snapped as she tried to free herself from his tight grip, 'you either come with me, or you shut up and stay here.'

'I'm not saying you're not going,' he said, reaching into his pocket, 'I know you're used to doing everything by yourself, that it's more efficient, but I'm trying to tell you that you don't have to do this alone, Valina.'

He held up the token, the silver sparkling in the light.

'Cullen…'

'We're going together,' he said as he took her hand, turning it so her palm faced up. He curled her fingers tightly around the token. 'And we're going to need all the luck we can get.'

Valina glanced down at the token, then tried to give it back. 'I can't take this, Cullen. You'll need it too.'

Cullen closed her fingers around it again. 'Humour me, Valina,' he whispered, cupping her cheek. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and she felt her resistance dissolve.

She gripped the token tightly in her fist, bringing it to her chest. 'All right.'

He took her other hand, dragging her to the door. 'We're calling the war council.'

'Cullen, no–'

'You have aided us at every step, Valina, even though we dragged you into this war. If you hadn't aligned yourself with us they might have been safer,' he said, pulling until she nearly tripped over, 'and if there is any chance that you're right about Corypheus hunting for mages…'

Valina almost had to jog to keep up with his stride as they burst into Josephine's office. The ambassador stood up, masking her surprise at Cullen's state of undress. She'd rarely seen him without his armour on, let alone in only his shirt and pants.

'Lady Valina, Commander–'

'War room, now,' Cullen said, storming past.

'Of course,' Josephine called, and Valina heard her rush to action.

It took only minutes for Josephine, Leliana, and Malakar to join them.

'What is going on?' Malakar asked, adjusting his jacket awkwardly, 'we only just got back.'

On any other day, Valina might have commented on the way his hair was ruffled, the fact that his jacket didn't quite line up, or the small bite marks on his neck. Instead, she pointed to a spot on the board, south-west of Val Royeaux, on the opposite side of the mouth of a river.

'I received a letter from my parents. It contains a panic code, a word or sentence we use to alert each other to danger. The code word they used – Bones – means that they are at the Voclain estate, in imminent danger, and are unable to escape,' she said, 'I'm sure you have all heard the rumours about my mother's marriage.'

All of the heads around her nodded, except Malakar's.

'Time for a crash course in recent Voclain history then: thirty years ago, my mother, Amira, married a mage from Tevinter, an Altus named Dranus Navorr. He took her name in an attempt to leave his past behind, but it's impossible to hide among the nobility. Even withdrawing from life in the court did nothing to soothe interest in the scandal,' she said, 'the Navorr family spent many years and a vast number of resources attempting to kill me as punishment. Obviously, they failed, but they succeeded in sending my father a message: they were embarrassed by him and scared that I would inherit his magic.'

'Why would they be scared of that? Because they thought he was a traitor?'

'Tevinter prides itself on power, especially magical power. My father is incredibly skilled with a variety of magic, predominantly specialising in fire. But what few know is that he is a particularly powerful blood mage.' As she had expected, the atmosphere in the room shifted as she said the words. She shook it off. 'My father would only send this if he were under serious threat, and we know how Corypheus likes mages: pliant and deadly.'

'How do we know it is not a trap?' Leliana asked.

Valina placed the letter on the table. 'This is in my father's hand, sealed with the wax that my mother crafts,' she said, pointing at the crest, 'and I was taught for the better part of thirty years never to use a panic code unless my life depended on it. If they've used this code, then there is no doubt in my mind: they're in danger.'

'And if your father is already enslaved?' Malakar asked, 'he is a blood mage, after all.'

She flashed him a menacing glare, and he shrunk back a step.

'My father would sooner kill himself than fall into the hands of that monster,' she snapped, 'but it's good to know that you're acceptance of necromancy is dependent on you sleeping with the mage who uses it. If they're not in your pants, then they must be a monster.'

'How dare you–'

' _Venhedis_! I could say the same, to you! I do not need to be a psychic to read what's on your face, Malakar,' she snarled, and for the first time, her carefully crafted accent slipped, her anger rolling over the room, 'if you dare call my father a maleficar, I'll put a dagger in your throat before you can finish the word.'

'Enough!' Cullen shouted, slamming his fists onto the table so hard that the pins and markers shook, 'we have all dealt with the consequences of blood magic, but that…'

His fists clenched tightly, and Valina saw the flash of memories in his eyes, shadows that haunted his tawny gaze. She snapped out of her anger, reaching to cover his hand with hers, and he glanced up.

'What matters right now, is that Valina's parents are in danger,' he said, and he had to fight to drag his eyes away from her serpentstone gaze, 'we are going to their estate, with or without Inquisition help.'

'What do we do?' Josephine asked.

'Have Master Dennet prepare two horses and enough supplies to last us for a week,' Cullen said, 'we don't know what we will face.'

'Make it six horses,' Malakar said, 'Valina's support and work has been invaluable. If it's important to her, then it's important to the Inquisition. I'm sorry, Valina, I did not mean to–'

'I'm sorry too,' she said, 'we all say things we don't mean when we're scared.'

'It's settled then,' Cullen said, placing a pin on the board, 'we leave in two hours.'

* * *

An hour and fifty-four minutes later, six horses set out at dusk. They rode until midnight: until the horses needed a break, and until the companions could go no further. They were all still weary from the return trip to Adamant.

Dorian and Malakar retired first, and Cassandra followed. Valina excused herself shortly after. She had been quiet throughout the ride, but Cullen could see her mind working, planning for whatever they would face at the Voclain estate.

Cullen rubbed at his eyes. He could feel the weight of sleep attempting to bear down on him, but he resisted its pull. He didn't want to disturb Valina. Although she could hide it from the others he could see that she was exhausted.

'I count two fewer tents than there are people in this group.'

Cullen glanced to his side, and Iron Bull smirked. There would be no silencing the Qunari.

'Now, I knew about Malakar and Dorian,' Bull continued, 'known about that for a while. They're so into each other it's impossible to miss.'

'Really?' Cullen said, resting his elbow on his knees and propping his heavy head on his hand, 'I hadn't noticed.'

'Sarcasm? From the Commander? I never thought I would see the day.'

'That's probably because it's night time.'

'And humour, too,' Bull laughed, 'am I in an alternate universe?'

Cullen rolled his eyes. 'Just get on with it, Bull.'

The Qunari smirked. 'So, if Dorian and Malakar are accounted for, and Cassandra isn't into sharing, despite my encouragement,' he said, 'leaving me with a tent to myself…'

'Get to your point, Bull,' Cullen said, standing up. He stretched his back, trying to shake the ache from his bones after so much travelling.

'Who could possibly be sharing a tent with the rogue?'

Bull knew that Cullen and Valina had shared a tent on the journey back from Adamant. As Dorian had done, Bull had even commented on the love bite on Cullen's neck. He was trying to make Cullen flustered because he found it entertaining, but Cullen would not give him the satisfaction.

'That would be me,' Cullen said, flashing a smirk before he turned to his tent. A faint glow radiated from a lantern within. He peeked inside, expecting Valina to be sleeping. Instead, she sat up on the mat, making the covers tumble down her chest.

'I need you, Commander…'

His breath hitched as she curled a finger at him, her legs shifting to pull the covers down further, revealing more of her sun-kissed skin.

'Just one more moment, my love, and I will be yours. First…' He closed the tent flaps and looked back at Bull. The Qunari's smile faltered. Cullen smirked. 'Dibs.'

He disappeared into the tent, stripping his surcoat as the flaps closed behind him.

* * *

 _The Voclain Estate_

 _Orlais_

Despite being over 150 years old, the Voclain estate stood proudly. Set back three miles from the Waking Sea, it overlooked the river to its north. Beneath the sturdy stone bridge which led to the estate five companions huddled together, keeping quiet as they awaited Valina's return. Iron Bull was getting restless; he was too tall to stand under the bridge without wading out to the middle of the river, so, instead, he had to arch his neck uncomfortably to accommodate his horns.

He stifled a loud groan of relief when he heard Valina approaching. She moved carefully along the sunken edge of the river, stopping under the bridge beside her companions. She pulled down her mask to speak. 'There are Red Templars at the gates, and I could see more forces, including Venatori, further into the grounds. There could be thirty, forty, maybe even more spread throughout the estate,' she said, 'but there is another entrance, an old escape route built into the house years ago. It leads to the library, behind a bookcase. My father sealed it years ago after the second attempt on my life because he was scared that it would just make it easier for someone to sneak in. With some force, we might be able to get through.'

'That's our best bet then,' Bull said.

'Except we're going to make a lot of noise,' Valina said, 'and we'll be surrounded as soon as we get into the house.'

'Not if we make enough of a ruckus at the front,' Dorian said, glancing to Malakar, 'what do you think, Amatus, shall we start a party?'

'I think we can manage that.'

'We could just send Bull,' Cassandra said, 'his jokes would be enough to drive the Venatori to jump in the river.'

'You love them, Seeker.'

Cullen rolled his eyes. 'Cassandra, Bull, go with Dorian and the Inquisitor. Make some noise,' he said, ruling out further banter from the two warriors.

'Go a short way up the river. You'll be able to sneak up from the side of the gate,' Valina added, 'oh, and don't be afraid to break the gate if you have to. It's only fair.'

Valina and Cullen turned in the opposite direction, following the river's edge. In the distance, they could hear the beginning of a fight, the blast of magical explosions and the clash of steel. They reached a low waterfall.

She glanced back at Cullen. 'I hope you're not afraid to get wet.'

Valina ducked beneath the stream of water. Cullen paused, trying to see a path, but her hand reappeared and grasped his shirt tightly to drag him beneath the waterfall. He shook water from his hair and surcoat, sputtering. She was already moving.

Cullen felt panic well inside him, sweat instantly coating his body; he almost had to drop to his knees to fit in the tight space, his armour scraping along the edges if he didn't tuck his arms in. He took a shuddering breath, locking his eyes onto Valina as she led the way along the cramped path. He used her as an anchor point, imagining he was following her along the walls at Skyhold to where they had first kissed.

Soon, the incline became steeper, the tunnel curving towards the estate. As they got closer, she slowed down, and he nearly collided with her in his desperation to reach the end of the tunnel.

'Cullen, I don't know what we're going to find in here, but I don't expect my parents to be themselves anymore. If my father has been bound to a demon like the Warden mages, and I can't free him, you must do it, even if it means–' Although he couldn't see her well in the darkness, she could not mask the waver in her voice. 'My father would rather die than live as a monster.'

'I'll do whatever I have to to save your parents,' he said, 'you have my word.'

They moved further along, and the tunnel opened enough for Cullen to walk rather than crouch. He could take deeper breaths now, and he realised they must almost be at the blockage. He only had to make it a little further. His mind looked for a distraction, locking onto a single word.

 _...Amatus_...

The name Valina had called him popped into his mind, shaking the panicked thoughts aside.

'Valina, before, I heard Dorian call the Inquisitor amatus.'

'Yes?'

'You called me that in the forest.'

'I did.'

'What does it mean?'

'Cullen, I'm not sure this is the best time to–'

Valina paused as her fingers bumped something wooden on the wall. She lit the torch, filling the small space with light. A wall made of rough brick blocked their path. She scratched along the grouting with a nail and it crumbled into small pieces. She examined the wall carefully, finding a few long cracks between the bricks. The gaps were too small to see through but large enough to create a draft.

'Can we break it?'

She glanced sideways at him, stepping away from the wall. 'I'm not the battering ram, handsome, you are.'

'Let's give it a shot then.'

Cullen pulled his shield from his back and strapped it onto his arm. He rolled his shoulders, stepping back as far as the small space allowed. He brought his shield up at the ready, then dropped into a charge. He hit hard, and the sound reverberated painfully in their ears. Valina shielded her eyes as chunks of brick sprayed her, pelting at her skin. When the dust cleared, she found Cullen standing at the wall before a large hole, his chest heaving.

'That was somewhat more solid than I had hoped,' he admitted, holding his shield arm. He shook dust and pebbles from his hair.

Valina rushed to him, standing on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. 'I knew you could do it, my handsome warrior,' she said, flashing a smile at him, 'and as for amatus, it's a term of endearment. Sort of like how you call me 'my love'.'

Suddenly his arm didn't hurt quite so much.

Valina disappeared through the hole, and Cullen squeezed through after her into a wider room. She was already halfway up a short ladder and she quickly clambered over the top edge. When he reached her, she placed the torch into a holder on the side wall, then crouched before a plain surface, her deft fingers working with finely crafted tools to pick an intricate lock.

'Be ready for a fight,' she said, and a click sounded.

Cullen drew his sword as she heaved the door open. The bookcase swung wide, the hinges creaking after so many years of stillness. Cullen led the way through, his shield at the ready, Valina at his heels. They could hear the fighting at the front of the estate again, but the library was empty.

'Looks like the diversion worked.'

Valina drew her daggers. She nodded at Cullen, and he fell into step at her side as she led the way through the estate. They checked a few rooms. As they went to exit one door, footsteps sounded in the hall. Valina put a finger to her lips, signalling him to be quiet. She peeked through the crack at the edge of the door, then turned back to him, mouthing, 'Venatori.'

She disappeared beside him quicker than he could blink. He saw the faintest ripple in the air as she moved through the partially open door, but her steps made no noise. He crept forward, peeking through the opening. Valina appeared behind the soldier in a flash, her daggers slamming into his back before he could sense her presence. A choked cry escaped him, and she kicked him off her blades. He hit the floor with a dull thud.

'Come on,' she hissed at Cullen.

Cullen rushed forward as another Venatori soldier stepped into the hall to investigate the noise. Cullen slammed into his side with his shield, and the man went flying into a wall. He crumpled to the floor, stunned by the impact, and Valina quickly dispatched him.

They continued searching, moving through more rooms until they reached the master bedroom. Valina tried the handle, but the large door did not budge. She quickly picked the lock, then eased the door open, peeking inside. Relief flooded through her when she saw her mother pacing at the window. Although Amira's dress was tattered and dirty, her thick auburn hair dishevelled, she seemed to have no significant injuries.

Valina sheathed her blades and burst into the room. Cullen closed the door behind them as she rushed forward. Amira turned at the sound, her body tensing as they approached. Valina wrenched her hood and unmasked her face, and Amira sobbed at the sight of her daughter.

Valina ran into Amira's arms. Her mother clung to her, sobbing in abandon. After a few moments, Valina pulled back, cupping Amira's hollowed cheeks. Valina felt rage spark inside her as her eyes darted over her mother's face: she was so cold her lips were tinged with blue, her fair skin pallid and covered in bruises. There was a distinct imprint of a hand around her neck.

'It's all right. We're going to get you out of here, okay?' Valina said, brushing a tangled strand from her mother's face, 'where's dad?'

'Oh Valina,' she whispered, her voice trembling, 'the things they have done. He refused to do their ritual. They tortured him until...'

'What did they do?'

'They couldn't break him, so they threatened to–' a harsh sob rattled in her chest. 'I begged him to refuse, to just let them kill me, but they threatened to… do _things_ to me. To take me into the deep roads and turn me into a… a…'

Valina felt her veins turn to ice. She crushed her rage deep in her chest, forcing it into a tight ball.

'Shh, that's enough,' Valina whispered. She placed a soft kiss on her mother's cheek, wishing she could make the bruises disappear. 'Where is he?'

'In the tower, I think,' Amira said, 'they've kept me in here for more than a day now.'

'I'll find him,' Valina said, 'but first, you're getting out of here. We've opened the old library tunnel. Do you think you can get through there without us?'

Amira nodded.

Valina turned to Cullen. 'Take my mother to the escape tunnel. See she gets down the ladder safely.'

'Valina–'

'Please, Cullen, we don't have time.' She drew her blades, and he saw ice in her serpentstone gaze. He could not argue with her; she was too deep in her rage to hear him.

'I'm coming after you.'

'I know.'

Valina disappeared back through the door, and Cullen led Amira to the library. He watched her take the torch and climb carefully down the ladder. She glanced back up at him, and although her eyes were a soft, pale blue, a sharpness appeared in her gaze and Cullen finally knew from whom Valina inherited her deadly stare.

'I may have lost my husband, but I will not lose my daughter,' Amira said, 'you get her out safe, or Maker help you, I will hunt you down and have an acquaintance crush every bone in your body. Slowly. The golem will enjoy it.'

Cullen nodded curtly. 'Understood.'

Satisfied, Amira turned from him. He watched her climb through the hole in the broken wall before he sprinted after Valina.

* * *

Valina moved to the base of the spiral staircase. She had only faced one more Venatori soldier. She glanced back as footsteps came up behind her, relieved to see Cullen running to catch up.

'Your mother is in the tunnel.'

'Thank you,' she said, 'remember what I said. If we can't save my father–'

'We'll deal with whatever we face when we face it.'

More footsteps sounded in the hall. She prepared to throw a dagger but faltered as Malakar rounded the corner.

'The grounds are clear,' he said, 'did you find your parents?'

'Yes, my mother is in the escape tunnel we used to get in, but my father–'

'Is being held upstairs,' Cullen said, 'he's probably hurt.'

Valina glanced at Cullen, surprised to hear a lie escape his lips, but she did not question it. She had no idea how her companions would react if they knew that her father was already enthralled.

'We must be prepared for anything,' Cassandra said, 'Valina, you know this place best. Lead us.'

Valina nodded and turned back to the staircase. Cullen was the first to follow her up the spiral steps, his shield and sword at the ready, their four companions close behind. Valina's grip tightened on her daggers. She strained her ears, listening for voices, but she heard nothing except for a quiet shuffling. She stopped below the floor level, staying out of sight as she prepared for a fight. For the first time in so many years, she had to find the strength to take another step. She could feel Cullen close behind her, could hear his steady breath, and his presence steeled her resolve.

Valina rushed up the last few steps, and they charged into the room. She had thought she could cope with seeing her father under the thrall of the binding ritual, but when he turned to face her she was met with blank burning eyes, the sight hitting her like a sucker punch to the stomach. She stopped as if frozen. The rage demon slid into place beside Dranus, and the mage next to him grinned. 'Kill them,' she hissed to Dranus and the two soldiers.

Dranus raised his arm in compliance, and the rage demon surged forward. Cassandra met it head on, slamming the hilt of her sword into her shield, forcing it to face her. Bull and Cullen burst into motion, stopping the soldiers from reaching Dorian and Malakar. Dorian panicked a soldier, and Bull sliced through the man with his massive axe, the two halves of his body dropping with sickening thuds.

Malakar cast a barrier on Cassandra, then froze the soldier Cullen faced, giving Cullen the upper hand.

Valina charged the mage but had to abort her attack, barely dodging a fire mine that the Venatori placed in front of her feet. Bull charged in from the side, catching the mage off guard. He threw her against a wall, her body slumping.

'Make sure she doesn't get away,' Valina shouted, not waiting for a reply. She turned to face her father, her heart hammering in her chest.

'If we kill the demon, we can free your father!' Cassandra called over the fighting, and all companions turned their attention to the rage demon. Cassandra stumbled back as the demon swiped at her shield. Valina dipped her fingers into a small pouch in her coat, blowing the sleeping powder at the demon to stun it long enough for Cassandra to right herself and catch its attention again. She dropped low to dodge a fireball hurled by her father, the heat so intense it scorched the shoulder of her coat.

'Dorian!'

'We're trying,' he shouted, glancing to Malakar, 'come on, Amatus. If we immobilize–'

Dranus blocked Malakar's winter's grasp, then raised a wall of flame to separate them from the group.

'Kaffas!'

Dorian grabbed the back of Malakar's robes, pulling him away from the flames as they flared higher. Cullen turned, but Dorian waved him away, shouting, 'we're fine, kill that blasted demon!'

The moment of distraction was enough. The rage demon slammed into Cullen, throwing him across the room. He slammed into the wall hard enough to leave a crack between the stones, his sword clattering on the floorboards as it fell from his grip.

Dranus turned his hollow gaze to Cullen's slumped body and raised his hand. The demon followed the direction, ignoring Cassandra's attempt to draw its attention away from the Commander.

Valina turned to chase the rage demon, but she knew she would not reach him in time. She grasped the blade of her dagger, feeling it slice her palm as it left her hand. She watched it sail through the air, turning end over end as if in slow motion. It slammed home in the back of the demon's head, and the monster released a deafening screech. Cassandra screamed beside her, but she was too focused on Cullen to listen to the Seeker's warning, her eyes locked on the rage demon as it began to sink into the floor with its death throws.

Her breath shuddered from her lungs as something cold pierced her skin between her ribs. She heard the wet slide of the blade leaving her body as she fell sideways, heard footsteps moving to surround her. She tried to catch herself, but her arms were too weak to support her weight. Her lungs emptied as she hit the floor, the impact winding her. With a shaky hand, she touched her side, gasping as white hot agony rocked her. She raised her hand, seeing blood glistening on her glove, the exposed tips of her fingers coated in it. The wound was warm with the blood that gushed forth, but she felt so cold that a shiver rolled down her spine, tingling through her limbs.

'Valina, _no_!' a deep voice screamed beside her. Arms surrounded her, lifting her from the hard floorboards. They jostled her, and she winced, her gasp turning to a cry as hands pressed hard on the wound, but the sound was strangled in her aching lungs.

'Oh Maker, what have I done,' Dranus whispered, his voice breaking as he pulled the mask from her face, 'Valina.'

She dragged her eyes open, finding a matching serpentstone gaze. 'Dad… you're okay,' she said, through sharp breaths, 'mum is safe.'

He tried to smile. 'I'm so proud of you, my little raven.'

The wall of flame finally weakened, allowing Dorian and Malakar to rush forward. Malakar dropped down beside Cassandra, and Dranus dragged his eyes away from his daughter.

'Can you heal?'

'Yes,' Malakar said with a sharp nod.

'Work with me.'

* * *

Cullen groaned as he woke. He used the wall to support himself, making it to his feet. He shook the fog from his mind, ignoring the thump in his skull. When he dragged his eyes open, he could see a cluster of figures. His vision became clearer, and his eyes locked on to a duel edged dagger beside a bloody palm.

He stumbled forward, pushing Dorian aside. He cupped her cheeks. Her face felt icy even through his gloves, and her sun-kissed skin was pallid. He bent his head over hers, but she could not focus her eyes on him, her lids sliding closed. He glanced over her body, seeing the shining stain on her dark coat.

Cullen watched helplessly as Dranus placed his hands on Valina's ribs either side of the wound, forming a frame around the deep slit with Malakar. The room crackled with energy and a soft glow danced between their hands. Before their eyes, the bleeding stopped and the wound slowly knit back together.

Valina took a sharp breath. It shuddered through her body, then finally settled in a steady rhythm. She relaxed, and the people around her uttered a collective sigh of relief.

'Thank you,' Dranus whispered, 'thank you.'

'We need to take her back to camp,' Malakar said as he removed his hands from her ribs, allowing Dorian to pull him away, 'she needs rest.'

'I'll take her.'

Cassandra moved, allowing Cullen to shift to her side. Dranus grasped his arm, forcing Cullen to look up.

'Please,' Cullen whispered. Dranus' serpentstone gaze was assessing, but whatever he saw in Cullen's eyes made him relent. Cullen hooked his arms beneath her shoulders and knees, lifting her petite body easily. He cradled her tight against his chest, relieved to see colour returning to her skin.

Iron Bull appeared beside them with the unconscious mage draped carelessly over his shoulder. He nodded at Cullen, and an understanding passed between them.

When they reached the gates, Amira climbed the sloped side of the river, a relieved cry escaping her lips. She rushed into her husband's arms, the force spinning him on his feet. Dranus held her tightly for a moment before Amira saw Cullen approaching at the back of the group with Valina cradled in his arms.

Amira pulled away from Dranus and ice filled her pale gaze. 'You said you would keep her safe!' she screamed, lunging toward him.

Dranus caught her arm, dragging her back. 'Amira, she's unconscious,' he said, forcing her to face him. He pulled her into his arms, locking her tightly in his embrace until she relaxed. 'It was my fault, all my fault. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…'

Cassandra stopped beside them. She gently squeezed Amira's shoulder. 'Let us get somewhere safe. Valina needs rest, and so do you.'

They turned to the bridge, beginning the short journey back to camp.


	9. Finding Peace

**Chapter Nine**

 **Finding Peace**

The tent flapped softly in the breeze, the noise gently pulling Valina from her slumber. Images flashed in her mind.

 _…Cullen slumped against the wall, the blade tumbling end over end through the air towards the rage demon, white hot pain in her side, her father crying…_

Panic gripped her. She shot up, her eyes flying open. Her hand covered her rib instinctively, but she felt no pain. Her eyes easily adjusted to the darkened tent, and when she glanced down she saw only smooth skin. Her breathing slowed. She could faintly remember hearing her father's voice urging Malakar to help him. An ache had settled over her bones now, and when she pushed the covers aside she noted the new bruises on her skin beside faded ones left from Adamant. When she looked at her hand she found the skin smooth and healed: Dranus or Malakar had tended to her care. She wondered how long she had been out.

Valina grit her teeth as she stood. Beside the mat, some clothes had been laid out on top of her pack. She pulled on the soft leather pants and a lightweight tunic. She lifted her coat, disappointed to see the massive tear from the staff blade, but she knew it could be mended. As she hung it over the pack again she heard a soft ping on the dirt. She crouched, picking up the shining token. She brushed dirt from the face.

 _Cullen…_

She tucked the coin into her pocket when she heard movement outside the tent, the scuff of quick moving feet and a deep voice.

'Please let me see my daughter.'

'I can't. She's still resting.'

'She's been unconscious for almost a day. I am worried.'

'She got stabbed, Ser. Even with magical assistance, it takes time to recover from a wound like that.'

'Don't you think I know that?' Dranus snapped, 'I'm the one that stabbed her.'

His voice remained even despite the mage's rising temper. 'It wasn't your fault.'

'Fasta _vass._ Vishante kaf _fas!_ Festis bei umo _canavarum_ –'

'Dranus!'

'Sorry, Amatus, I just… this is my fault. I should have taken a knife to my throat the moment those creatures stepped on our land. I knew they would want to use me, but I had no idea what they planned and–'

Valina barrelled through the tent flaps, pushing past Iron Bull and into her father's arms. He caught her, a sob wrenching from him.

'Oh my sweet little raven, thank the Maker.'

Her arms tightened around his neck. 'This is not your fault.'

'I put you in harm's way.'

'Dad, what do you think I do every day?' she asked with a laugh, 'because as far as I remember, I've been doing that myself for a while. I'm just lucky enough you made sure I could get myself out of it.'

Dranus smiled at her. They reached for Amira, drawing her tight into their embrace. Relief welled in Valina. Her family was safe, her parents alive despite the depraved plans Corypheus had for them. But even as peace crept slowly through her mind, a spark of uncertainty awakened in her gut. She felt the token in her pocket as if it were burning to remind her of its presence.

She pulled back, looking at Bull. 'Where's Cullen? Is he okay?'

'Bruised, but still standing, which is impressive. Saw that damn demon throw him at the wall. I didn't think he was going to get up from it. He had a go at Cassandra about an hour ago when the Seeker made him stop pacing outside the tent,' he said, pointing past her, 'I offered to hit him with a stick, but he declined. He was chopping some firewood, last I saw him. He's been pretty shaken up.'

Valina glanced to her parents, and Amira squeezed her arm.

'Go, sweetheart. He'll be relieved to see you up and about.'

She kissed each of her parents on the cheek, giving them one last hug before she moved into the tree line. She could hear him chopping before she saw him, the steady crack of wood under the axe. She spotted a few felled trees, then a pile of freshly cut logs.

Cullen's back was to her, his bare shoulders heaving one last time. He swung down, embedding the axe in the tree stump he had been using as a chopping block, taking a break from his work. He wiped sweat from his face with the back of his hand, his shoulders rising and falling with his steady breaths, the muscles on his back dancing beneath his skin as he stretched. A massive dark bruise had bloomed across his back from where he hit the wall, and she swore she could see the imprint of the individual rocks of the cobblestone.

Valina approached slowly, her bare feet making no noise on the grass. He tensed when she placed her hand on his back, trailing her fingers gently over the darkened skin. He turned to face her slowly. Emotions washed over his face; his brow drew tight, his eyes wavering, but a soft smile soon lit his lips, only to be wiped away. He reached for her, dragging her into a crushing embrace, and she melted into his arms. His skin was hot, the musky scent of his body mixing with the earthy smell of the forest, soothing her worry.

 _He's safe…_

Her arms wound around his neck, and he lifted her from the ground.

'Thank the Maker,' he said, pressing his lips to her neck, 'I've been so worried.'

'I was too,' she whispered, 'your back… it must hurt.'

He placed her on her feet, releasing some of his crushing grip. He cupped her cheek with his calloused hand, and she leant into his touch.

'It's nothing compared to what I felt when I saw you on that floor. Valina, I thought–'

'I'm okay,' she said, her hand covering his, 'I promise.'

He bent to touch his forehead to hers, releasing a ragged breath. Her nose brushed his, coaxing him to her lips. She savoured his kiss, savoured the warmth of his mouth, the softness of his touch on her face as if she were a treasure he was too afraid to break.

When she pulled back, she caught his tawny gaze. 'Come with me,' she said, taking his hand, 'I want to show you something.'

Cullen followed her through the trees absently, his gaze riveted on her. He savoured the way her dark hair shone in the light of the moon, the glint of her serpentstone eyes as she glanced over her shoulder at him, savoured the warmth of her hand as she led him through the dense trees. After a short walk, they reached the river's edge. In the distance, towards the mouth of the river, he could see the Voclain estate standing proudly in the darkening sky, stars beginning to twinkle around it. Valina released his hand, and he ached at the loss of contact.

'You took me to the lake near Honnleath,' she said as she walked closer to the river, 'remember?'

Cullen remembered every moment that they shared on that pier vividly, every smile, ever laugh. He remembered the surprise that had washed over him, knowing she had finally revealed a hidden part of herself to him, a vulnerable scratch in the heavy armour she wore over her emotions. He remembered the way she stirred his body, the heat of his desire; the need to hold her, to make love to her, had almost consumed his every thought. But most of all, he remembered the husky note in her voice faltering, the storm of emotions in her gaze as she stood before him - beautiful, vulnerable - and the empty smile she had forced onto her lips while he was silent and afraid, unable to even tell her how he felt.

Cullen stifled a cringe at the memory. 'I do.'

'This is my Honnleath,' Valina whispered, 'I used to come here when I needed to think.' She stepped closer to the water, dipping her toe into the lazy flow. 'I am grateful for my father. He did everything he could to ensure I had the ability to defend myself, but I was a teenage girl. I did so much training that sometimes it was nice just to come and sit here with a book and watch the water flow slowly past. I found peace here, something I struggled to find at home.' She crouched down, dipping her hand into the cold water, watching as it flowed around her wrist. 'I would come down here with mother in warmer seasons, too,' she said, feeling a smile quirk her lips, 'when it was too hot to sleep, we would come jump in the river in our nightgowns to cool off.'

She stood, looking back at him.

'This was your safe place,' he said as she approached.

'Just like the lake near Honnleath was for you.'

 _You are my safe place_ , he thought, captured in her serpentstone gaze.

Valina reached into her pocket, holding out the token he had given her just days before. Cullen shook himself from his thoughts, glancing down at the shining coin. He wrapped her fingers around it. 'It's yours, Valina,' he said, 'I… I know that, once this war is over, you'll want to… please, if there is any chance it can keep you safe...'

The smile on her lips faltered at his words. 'I'll want to what, Cullen?'

'I had never thought beyond this war, but I find myself thinking about the future, about…' He sighed, bringing her hand to his lips. He glanced down, closing his eyes for a moment as he fought for words. 'I have no right to expect you to...'

'Cullen, do you really have to ask?' She trailed her fingers over his jaw, drawing his gaze up. Her heart skipped at the soft smile that lit his lips.

'I suppose not.'

'You're not getting rid of me anytime soon, Amatus.'

His smile bloomed brighter. 'Good.'

Valina placed a soft kiss on his lips, smiling as she pulled from his arms. She slipped the token back into her pocket, stepping back towards the water. When she stripped her tunic his breath hitched, his hands clenching at his sides as she stepped out of her pants, throwing them. He caught them on instinct, his eyes melting to gold as she turned toward the river. He caught a growl in his throat when she freed her hair, dark strands cascading down her back.

Valina waded into the soft flow, the cold water soothing her weary limbs. She dipped her head under the surface, flicking her hair back. She smoothed it down, turning back to face Cullen. He clutched her pants tightly in his fist, his eyes blazing as they raked over her skin, warming her body wherever his gaze caressed.

'Are you going to join me, Commander, or would you prefer to watch?'

Cullen dropped the garment, untying his pants with shaking fingers. He kicked them off, wading in after her, the cold water sending soft shivers over his skin, but the sight before him had warmth curling through his veins. Although he was captivated by her beauty, his eyes still drifted over her skin, noting the bruises on her arms and shoulders. He had longed to hold her every moment she slumbered, to caress every inch of her sun-kissed skin, to reassure himself that she was safe. He trailed his hands over her shoulders, wishing he could wash the marks away. His brow drew tight as his golden gaze fell upon every new mark, every new bruise.

'The cold water will help,' she said, drawing him deeper into the lazy stream of the river.

'I know.' His fingers brushed over her ribs, his touch a warm brand on her skin. 'Maker's breath, I thought I was going to lose you. I nearly lost myself with fear. I felt like I was slipping again, but I… knew I didn't need the lyrium. I just needed you, Valina. I will always need you.'

'Cullen, I have imagined a future with you too.' Valina cupped his cheeks, pulling his head down. She felt a flutter in her stomach as love danced on her tongue, even though she was unafraid of the words she desperately wanted to say. She claimed his lips in a soft kiss, barely pulling away to whisper, 'I love you.'

'And I love you.'

As Cullen said the words, he felt his heart hammer in his chest so hard he thought it might burst through his ribs. He wrapped her tight in his embrace. His cheeks ached from smiling, and when he met her serpentstone gaze, he dived into the shining depths, finding heaven in her eyes. He claimed her lips, spinning her in the water, revelling in the euphoria that warmed his very soul. He had to fight for the strength to pull away if only to take another breath, if only to see the depth of emotions in her gaze.

'I know we still have a war to fight, but I promise you, Valina, we'll fight it–'

'Together,' she said, eliciting another smile from his lips which she could not help but match, 'Corypheus won't know what hit him.'

'Definitely. You could make another explosive entrance like you did at Skyhold.'

Valina smirked, a wicked glint in her eyes. 'That can be arranged.'

Cullen laughed, drawing her tighter against his chest. They sank further into the water, wrapped in each other's embrace, and Cullen felt his soul settle into the peace it had craved for so long.

 _…He sounds new, like echoes of laughter on an empty riverbed. Not for sailing, but safer…_

* * *

To be continued in Part Two, _Shadows & Daggers: A Warriors Captured Heart._ The first chapter will be added to this story on Friday.


	10. Close Quarters

Part Two:

 _SHADOWS & DAGGERS_

 _A Warrior's Captured Heart_

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Close Quarters**

The Voclain's returned to Skyhold as allies of the Inquisition, donating the use of their estate as an Inquisition fortress and base of operations near Val Royeaux. The return trip to Skyhold gave the Voclain's time to recover, and Cullen had watched Valina interact with her parents: the three shared a strong bond.

On their arrival at Skyhold, however, a heated argument flared between Valina and Dranus that nearly resulted in a section of the fortress catching fire…

'Father, this may be a large fortress, but it is indulgent and inefficient for me to take up a room for myself for the sake of modesty,' Valina said as she packed her things to move from her quarters and allow her parents to take the spacious room, 'there are new delegates arriving daily, and it's important that the Inquisition show them the utmost respect and hospitality. My sharing quarters with Cullen could mean the difference between a packed fortress and a room readily available when needed for an important ally.'

'Valina, you are the next Marquise of House Voclain. It is not proper for you to be sleeping in the same quarters as a man, especially when you are unmarried.'

'You forgot to mention that I would be in his bed, also, father. So improper! The scandal!' she said, mocking his firm accent and dramatic tone, 'plus, you might have noticed that we shared a tent on the way back here from the estate, so you can't really be surprised by this turn of events. You and I both know I lost my precious innocence many years ago, to a handsome rogue of somewhat ill-repute. You were so thoroughly peeved with him that your ears glowed red with anger for a week and he's never returned to Orlais since. Besides, Cullen asked me to move into his quarters days ago, and I said yes.'

'Sharing the tent was different. You were injured.'

'Oh father,' she sighed, pausing in her packing to glance at him with a wry smile, 'you feign innocence so well when you want to.'

'Your Grace,' Cullen started, 'if I might–'

Cullen ducked as a fireball hit the wall a mere foot away. He snapped his mouth shut, but his nose twitched. He gasped, swatting at the fur that sizzled menacingly on his shoulder. He was forced to wait anxiously at the edge of the room, trying not to appear too ruffled by the incident as the pair switched to rapid fire Tevene. He suspected that Valina was scolding her father, but could not follow the conversation; he had only learned a few words so far, having had little time to get Valina to teach him. Despite his best efforts, Cullen was unable to get a word in edgewise, not only because of the language switch but also because he couldn't open his mouth without Dranus flinging a new fireball in his general direction.

A wave of relief washed over Cullen when Amira returned from her meeting with Josephine and Leliana. Her bright blue eyes widening as they fell on her husband and daughter, the pair standing toe to toe, glaring at each other despite the comical height difference.

'What is going on here?'

'Valina insists on moving into the quarters belonging to this man,' Dranus snapped, his gaze still locked on Valina as he waved dismissively at Cullen.

'And?'

'They are not married.'

'Sweet Maker, Dran, what's got into you? You're being a prude and a hypocrite,' Amira chided, shaking her head in disbelief, ' _we_ certainly weren't married when you first presented yourself in _my_ bed in nary more than your amulet, and I know you remember it because my father threw a dagger at you when you jumped bare-assed out the window!'

Dranus' eyes snapped to his wife and his jaw dropped.

Valina nearly fell to the floor with laughter. 'Maker's breath, is that true dad?' she managed between her laughter, 'you always told me you courted mum for weeks!'

Amira arched a fine auburn eyebrow at her husband. 'That's a very interesting definition of courting, dear.'

Valina moved into Cullen's quarters within the hour.

The Voclains quickly settled into daily life at Skyhold form then. Amira was a skilled crafter, with a keen eye for streamlining requisition processes. She soon started working closely with Josephine, providing the Inquisition with new and powerful trade contacts, beyond those which Valina had been able to connect, by drawing on decades-old contracts held in the family vault. She proved to be an excellent ambassador for the Inquisition and became fast friends with Josephine. Although the company of the troops was certainly not dull, Josephine enjoyed the refinement that Amira brought with her, the seemingly gentle but certainly formidable respectability of an Orlesian Marquise. Amira's silver tongue quickly ensnared even the most difficult targets, bending them to her will, and to that of the Inquisition. As an added advantage, Amira could speak many languages and surprised more than one noble who dared speak rudely of her in a foreign tongue. She never blatantly called them on their impertinence, but would, after a few minutes, remark casually on the conversation in their native language, alerting them to the fact that she had understood every word.

Dranus, on the other hand, caused quite a stir the first day he stepped into the library. When he cursed vehemently at the lack of texts, Dorian looked around the corner from his usual bookcase to investigate. He nearly cried with excitement: Dranus flagged down one of Leliana's scouts and ordered her to retrieve a number of volumes from the private collection at the Voclain estate, many of them rare texts which were seldom seen outside of Tevinter or the most prestigious royal libraries. Dorian swooned with delight when they arrived, rushing between tables to read multiple volumes at once, much to Dranus' amusement. The Tevinter mages bonded, finding a quiet understanding: they had each, for their own reasons, turned their backs on the Imperium and found a new life.

Valina woke every morning with a feeling of contentment, wrapped tightly in Cullen's embrace. She stretched languidly as she woke to warm rays of sun on the bed, her hand sliding beneath the pillow. She brushed something much softer than the relatively coarse sheets. Her interest piqued, she grasped the object tightly and propped herself up on her elbow, a grin lighting her lips as her eyes fell on the black gloves.

She rolled to face Cullen, leaning on her pillow. She gazed down at his devastatingly handsome face. In the early hours of the morning, she had woken him for a nightmare, soothing him until he slept calmly. His body was relaxed in slumber now, no trace of the terror that had plagued him; he was stretched out on his back, one arm still beneath her, his other hand resting on his stomach. She traced his stubbled jaw with nimble fingers, then bent to place a soft kiss on his scarred lip.

Cullen took a shuddering breath, his eyelids fluttering as he woke. His tawny gaze found her, and a smile tugged at his lips. He reached up, his calloused hand cupping her cheek. 'Is it morning already?' he asked, his voice rough from sleep. He drew her down to his chest, claiming her lips softly, leisurely.

'You have some explaining to do, handsome,' she whispered against his mouth.

'Mm?'

Valina propped herself up on her elbow again, trailing the gloves along his stomach and up to his chest. When he looked down, his cheeks flushed softly.

'I, uh, yes, those–'

'You kept them.'

'Well, I was going to return them to you, it's just–'

'Of course, you were,' she said, sitting up beside him.

He watched as she slid the silken gloves onto her hands, a wicked smirk on her lips. He felt his body stir. 'I never got the chance.'

'Never?'

'Well, it's been rather hectic.'

'Indeed.'

Cullen's breath hitched as Valina trailed her fingers down his chest, the soft silk of the gloves tickling his skin.

'So, if you planned to return them,' she said, 'why are they under your pillow?'

He felt the colour of his cheeks deepen. 'Because...'

'Yes, Amatus?'

The name slid over Cullen like a caress, her sultry tone tantalising his senses.

'Because they're yours,' he admitted, breathless as her hand flattened over the sharp lines of his stomach, 'I… I liked having them close... the fact that you'd given them to me made me hope that… that I would see you again.'

'Oh Commander, I knew you liked me long before you could admit it to yourself,' she said, her hand trailing over his hip.

'How could I not? You are so strong, so beautiful, Valina, and…'

'And?' She prompted, her hand pausing on his thigh. She flicked the cover back, and he saw fire in her gaze as she glanced down, finding him eager.

'You tempted and tormented me with suggestive talk and unveiled flirting. Relentlessly,' Cullen said, his jaw locking for a moment at the memories, 'I've never had a woman be so forward with me before. Maker's breath, how else can you expect me– my body to react, especially when a beautiful, fierce woman fondles me out on the bloody battlements?'

'Well, that certainly confirms why I thought you were eager to keep a desk between us on so many occasions.'

'Wait, you–'

All thought fled Cullen's mind when Valina wrapped her gloved hand around his shaft, stroking. She rose to straddle his strong thighs, her other hand roaming freely over his heated skin. Cullen's head dropped back on the pillow, a ragged moan rumbling in his chest at the feel of the silk on his body. She slid her hand along his chest, her body rising over his. She continued to stroke him as she trailed her lips over his stomach, his pecs, her teeth scraping his neck. He shuddered as she nipped at his skin, his hands reaching to grip her hips tightly, desperate for something to hold onto as she pleasured him.

Cullen's moans turned to a gasp when Valina positioned his cock at her entrance. He hardly had time to think when she slid onto his shaft, her hips rocking to take him deep. A sultry moan tumbled from her lips as she settled on his length, her serpentstone eyes shining in the early morning sun.

She claimed his lips, stealing his breath with her passion. He could feel every curve of her body against his own, her rigid nipples rubbing against his chest with every wicked roll of her hips.

Cullen grasped her thighs tight, lifting his hips. A startled gasp escaped Valina as he thrust, a wicked smirk lighting her lips. He had quickly learned that she loved this angle, loved how deeply he filled her, his pelvis teasing her clit with every thrust. She tangled her fingers in his hair, her hot breath falling against his neck as she gladly released control to him. Her throaty moans filled the room, growing louder until he was sure that the whole of Skyhold would hear her pleasure, but he did not care, not when a blissful scream wrenched from her body as she climaxed on his shaft. He soon followed, unable to resist the pull of her silken core, his cock pulsing deep inside her as his broken cry vibrated through their quarters.

Cullen's hips dropped back to the mattress, and Valina lay limp on his chest, her panting breaths falling on his skin.

'Mm,' she whispered, nuzzling his neck, 'I do love waking up to you.'

He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. 'We'll have woken the whole fortress with that.'

'Scandal,' she muttered deviously. She rose, trailing her hands down his chest, then up her body, his eyes following every move. She slid the gloves off slowly, biting a fingertip with her teeth to pull them from her hands. 'I think these should stay under the pillow, don't you?'

'You'll hear no argument from me, my love.'

'I think I've corrupted you, Commander.'

'Indeed.'

She smiled, rocking her hips on his softening shaft just to earn another gasp before she slid off his hips and rose from the bed. She went to the corner where a new dresser and large bathing basin had been added and washed his climax from her skin, her body tender from their love-making.

Valina glanced back as she dried herself. 'What have I told you about looking at me like that, Commander?'

Cullen cleared his throat, sitting up. 'You like it, but it's distracting.' He smirked, and she melted at the wicked look in his golden eyes as he said, 'I suppose I best get dressed then if we are to accomplish anything today.'

'I suppose,' she pouted, 'but I'm declaring this room a clothes-free zone from now on.'

'Deal.'

Valina threw him a final wicked smirk before she turned to the dresser, finding suitable training clothes.

'So, the rogues today?'

'I believe so,' Cullen said as he rummaged through a chest.

'New recruits?'

'Yes.'

'That means training weapons,' she said, pulling on soft leather pants and a dark tunic, 'that's no fun.'

'I wouldn't trust them to wield a scroll of parchment, but we need them trained, and we do need them alive, my love.'

'I know,' she sighed as she moved to the bed to pull on her boots.

As Valina tied the laces, her eyes lingered on Cullen. Pale strands of his tousled hair fell over his forehead, waiting to be tamed by a brush of his hand. As he dressed, muscles rippled beneath his skin. He strapped his armour with meticulous movements, his fingers deft; his hands almost never shook now, even after nightmares.

She took a breath in the warm sunlight, taking the hand he offered, even for the short walk to the ladder.

 _…_ _the weight of the air on a warm summer morning… he feels like quiet in chaos, safe and solid…_

* * *

Valina shrugged on her coat and donned a set of fingerless gloves, then walked down with Cullen to the Herald's Rest. They shared a quick breakfast and sat side by side on the bench, their thighs touching beneath the table, a free hand reaching to rest on a knee whenever possible. They outlined a training regime as they finished a strong pot of tea.

When they exited the tavern, a contingent of soldiers waited at the training ring. They shifted nervously as Valina and Cullen approached, and, for a moment, Valina thought one or two might be preparing to flee. Whispers broke out among them as they glanced at Valina with darting eyes.

'Attention!' Cullen shouted over the group. Silence fell sharply, and Cullen's firm voice carried over the crowd. 'You have all been selected for reconnaissance and covert operations training due to your aptitudes and reported skills. If any of you lied when you were questioned about this, leave now and report back to the recruitment officer, who will direct you to a suitable training co-ordinator.' He stared out at the crowd, his eyes scanning the faces. Some shifted, but none moved. 'Good. Lady Voclain will be taking you through your training over the next month. Maker preserve you if you have lied.'

Cullen stepped back to observe.

Valina threw Cullen a wink when he passed to lean against the side of Herald's Rest.

'Now that the formal stuff is out of the way, we get to the fun stuff,' Valina said, 'have you all been issued with training weapons?' Heads nodded slowly among the group. 'And it appears you're all wearing suitable training armour, not that it will do much good. It's still going to hurt when I hit you.'

A few nervous chuckles sounded in the crowd as if she joked. A young man nudged his friend, pointing at Valina. '…cannot believe the Commander is handing us to this prissy little noble. She probably couldn't give us a proper slap if we grabbed that fine ass.'

Cullen bristled a few feet away, almost rising from his leaning post, but she flashed him a warning glance. He stayed in place, reading her message: if one soldier doubted her, the seed could bloom among them, even if they knew her reputation.

Valina hid a venomous smile. 'Your name, soldier?'

He smirked at her, his eyes trailing a leisurely over Valina. 'Louis.'

'Step forward.'

Louis glanced at his friend, cocking his head sideways before he strolled to the front of the group. He gave her a mock bow.

'Louis, I see you have your training weapons. Would you like to give your fellow new recruits a demonstration?' She directed his gaze to the training ring.

'A demonstration?'

'Yes. Clearly, you think you're already very capable, so I'll try my hardest to slap you good and proper, and you can try and grab my fine ass.'

Louis smiled like he'd won a bag full of gold. 'You better get some blades out. I don't want to beat you too easily. It wouldn't be fair.'

'No, it wouldn't. But then, that's the first rule of rogue training: rarely are fights fair.'

'Suit yourself darlin'.'

Excitement radiated from the group as Valina stepped into the training ring. She tied her hair back, waiting for Louis to stroll in after her. 'When you're ready, Louis,' she said, picking absently at her nails.

He rolled his shoulders, drawing his training daggers from his belt as he glanced around at the eager audience. There was a flash of regret in his dark eyes, but he knew he was in too deep to bail out now. 'So, how are we doing this?'

Valina glanced up at him, her elbow still resting on her hip. 'You attack, _darlin'_ , and I'll flail uselessly at you, I'm sure.'

The new soldiers huddled around the outside of the ring, whispers sounding. When Valina glanced to the side, she even saw some coins exchanging hands in favour of Louis: there was the seed blooming, as she had suspected. Cullen stood opposite her, his arms folded over his chest, a knowing smirk on his lips. Even though the recruits were fighting for the best view, none strayed too close to him as he stepped up to the edge of the ring.

Louis shrugged. 'Okay lady.'

He gripped his daggers awkwardly, still smiling when he lunged at her. For a moment, Valina considered merely sidestepping his clumsy advance and allowing him to careen into the training fence. The flip would be dramatic if he went over, but the embarrassment would probably not deter him from challenging her again.

Decision made, Valina stepped a fraction left, and as Louis sailed past she grabbed the back of his collar. She heard him choke on his shirt, her grip never faltering. She turned to follow his momentum, darting around him, spinning him on clumsy feet and slippery dirt. With one deft movement, she gripped the back of his shirt and his belt, then kicked his feet from beneath him, using his own weight and the momentum of her spin to throw him over the soldiers crowded at the fence. The group in the firing line ducked, though some at the back weren't as quick to avoid Louis' flying body; sharp cries sounded as they were knocked to the ground under Louis' weight.

Valina brushed off her hands. She turned slowly on her toes, her hard serpentstone glare finding each of the new recruits as she glanced around at stunned faces with a gaze so frosty that some jaws froze where they lay on the ground.

'Would anyone else like to be part of a demonstration today?'

Silence, except for a stifled cough from Cullen who fought to hide his laughter.

'Very well,' she said, 'let's begin.'

* * *

Cullen watched from beside the Herald's Rest as Valina began putting the recruits through some basic training routines to assess their base strength and stamina. He leant his back against the stone wall of the Herald's Rest, enjoying the warmth of the early morning sun. Occasionally, he would catch sight of Louis in the crowd, and he would feel a laugh tickle the back of his throat.

Valina was a taskmaster, and within half an hour the recruits had learned to heed her warnings and obey her instructions without question, lest they meet the same fate as Louis. She quickly trimmed the group of fifty-odd by ten, directing them to appropriate advisors better suited to their skill set, then set up the remaining soldiers to run drills in small groups.

Cullen tensed when Dranus joined him, the mage leaning against the wall of Herald's Rest mere feet away, his serpentstone gaze observing Valina. Cullen's instinct told him to run, but there had been no hint or threat of flames.

Yet.

Cullen dared a glance at the mage, though only a glance. This was the first time Dranus had approached Cullen in weeks, let alone without a prompt from Valina. Cullen had done his best to be unwaveringly polite, hoping to win some level of approval from the mage, if not at least a hint of indifference. But, despite Amira's firm words on the day Valina had moved quarters, and Valina's attempts to promote a relationship between them, Dranus' attitude had been increasingly icy as if he was the eye of a storm: calm, quiet, waiting.

'Commander,' Dranus said, his firm accent biting in Cullen's ears. It felt strange; Dorian's accent seemed just as strong, but it had never felt as sharp as Dranus'.

Cullen bowed his head politely. 'Your Grace.'

'Valina has insisted I allow you to call me Dranus.'

'Ser?'

'Yes, Ser is much more appropriate. Valina may wish for a level of familiarity to grow between us, but I don't see that happening,' he said, turning to face Cullen, his gaze burning, 'I don't care to know what you have done to ensnare my daughter, but know this, boy: I do not accept you. I did not fight my father's assassins for nearly twenty years, nor train Valina to protect herself, just to see her fall to the grasp of a Templar.'

'Ser, I'm not–'

'Once a Templar, always a Templar,' Dranus snapped, 'the Templars in Tevinter may not have much power in the Imperium, but I know the bloody history of the Ferelden _and_ Kirkwall Circles. And I know who you are now.'

'And who am I, Ser?'

'Cullen Rutherford. The same Cullen Rutherford who wished to see the Lake Calenhad Circle purged, and the same Cullen Rutherford who was involved in enacting the Right at Kirkwall.'

Cullen felt anger pour through his veins, white hot as it surged inside him. He clenched his fists at his side as memories bombarded him. 'I was following orders.'

'And yet you found a voice to question them when _your_ life was threatened,' Dranus bit out.

Cullen felt his chest constrict, his throat so tight he could not speak. He had questioned it before they attacked the Gallows, hadn't he? He had told Hawke that he did not agree with the path Meredith was leading the Kirkwall Templar Order down, but he could not have foreseen all that would happen, all the lives…

 _All the lives I took._

Dranus drew to his full height, and despite their even stature, it felt like the mage towered over him. Dranus' serpentstone gaze was both ice and fire, freezing his soul and burning him all at once.

'Just as I thought,' Dranus said, venom in his soft words that could not have been matched by the anger in a shout, 'whatever feelings you think you have for Valina… forget them. You will only cause her pain.'

Dranus turned, but Cullen did not watch him leave. He sank back against the wall of the Herald's Rest, his mind churning. A heavy weight settled in his stomach, a deep dread like he had not felt for so long. He fought to keep control of his mind, to keep control of the doubt that washed through every memory. When he had strength enough to move, he pushed off from the wall and headed back to his office, intending to bury himself in work. He took the seat behind his desk, rifling through the papers that covered most of the surface, but when he picked a new report up, his eyes could not focus on the page. His vision clouded, and he buried his head in his hands, his shoulder shuddering at the thoughts that haunted him still.


	11. Family Ties

**Chapter Eleven**

 **Family Ties**

The sun was sitting high above the fortress. Over the hours Valina had spent with the group of new recruits, she had seen vast improvements. She had only cut three more from the group, leaving just shy of 40 soldiers to train as reconnaissance scouts for the Inquisition.

'Attention!'

The recruits paused mid fight. They were all showing signs of fatigue after hours of hard training, but Valina was pleased with their overall fitness, considering the varied backgrounds among the group.

'That will be enough for today,' Valina called, 'I expect all of you to be here at the same time tomorrow morning. Does anyone have any questions?'

Valina was met with silence and subtly shaking heads. They had taken a literal crash course in rogue training, and Valina was impressed by how well so many of them had taken the arduous tasks in their stride. She knew that she was a taskmaster and that the recruits would probably hate her for it by the end of the month, but if it meant the difference between them living or dying in the war against Corypheus, she didn't care if her reputation as the 'vicious bitch rogue of the Inquisition' grew.

'I will be overseeing your training tomorrow, and for the foreseeable future. I have been tasked with training you so that you might live through this war, and that is what I intend to do, so you'll get no sympathy from me for doing my job. If any of you have a problem with this, take it up with someone who cares, but take note: there is no point complaining to Commander Cullen or Seeker Cassandra. They'll tell you exactly what I have. Understood?'

Nods rippled among the group.

'All right then, you're dismissed.'

The recruits wandered off to their camp, all looking weary, but the murmured discussion that Valina caught seemed positive. She looked towards Herald's Rest. The wall was empty. She had seen Cullen leaning there for a while, and had even caught a glimpse of her father standing beside him. She hadn't seen either of them leave, but was not surprised. Dranus was always busy in the library, and Cullen had said at breakfast that he was expecting a number of reports to arrive from Emprise Du Lion. The Inquisitor was with Dorian, Cassandra, and Bull dealing with the Red Templars in the area and attempting to gain control of the embattled region.

Valina wandered up the stairs to the wall, stretching as she went. She shrugged her coat from her shoulders. Although the wind was brisk up on the wall, the sun had bite in it. She strolled slowly, knowing she'd have to drag Cullen from his work for an hour to enjoy the weather.

She opened the door to their quarters, bouncing into the room. As she had suspected, Cullen was at his desk, three separate pieces of parchment in his hands, his eyes darting between them.

Valina circled his desk, stopping beside him. She hopped onto the edge and he glanced up, a small smile dancing on his lips. She took the pages from his hands, laying them on the desk. She shifted closer, leaning before him. 'Miss me?'

'Always,' he said as he cupped her neck, pulling her closer for a kiss. He paused barely a breath away from her, faltering, shadows flicking in his gaze. 'I… need to ask you something.'

'What?'

'Would you teach me Tevene?'

'So you can understand all the naughty things I say in bed?' she asked, a flash of heat in her gaze, 'or so you can say them back?'

'I– no. Although that would be a bonus. But it's for a more serious reason. I thought it might impress your father a little. He… doesn't like me.'

'Cullen, it's not that he doesn't like you–'

'He threw a fireball at my head.'

' _Near_ your head. Trust me, if he wanted to burn you, you would be a pile of ash on the cobblestone right now.'

'Somehow, that's not comforting Valina.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Cullen, you've got to understand where he is coming from. I'm his only daughter, and you know what my so-called grandfather put us through. I am by no means innocent, and much to his displeasure he knows it, but I've never committed myself wholly to someone before I met you.'

'What do you mean?'

Valina cupped his stubbled cheek. 'I've never called anyone amatus, Cullen. My father knows this. I know it might sound irrational to you, and to be quite honest, it is irrational, but I think my father feels like he's losing his little girl, even if I'm not so little anymore.'

Cullen leant into her touch. 'It's more than that, Valina. He knows about my past, knows what I did at Kirkwall, what I wanted to do at Lake Calenhad.' He bowed his head. 'I killed all those people, and he's right. I am complicit in everything that happened, especially in Kirkwall. I only stopped Meredith when the Templars were at risk, and–'

'Cullen, don't you dare say those things. We've talked about this. Maker's breath, you were _tortured_. This is why I made you talk to Dorian and Malakar about what happened, and do you remember what they said?'

He glanced away, but she caught his chin in her strong grip. He sighed. 'They would not expect anyone to be in a rational mind after that, let alone to survive it with a mind at all.'

'Exactly. And you told me that you're glad Lilara didn't listen to you in Ferelden and saved as many mages as she could in the Circle. And, when it was most important, you fought years of conditioning from that torture and from the Templar Order to stop Meredith, even though she could easily have killed you. You've repented for your thoughts and actions Cullen, a thousand times, and you have done as much as you can to support the mages in their transition to life in the Inquisition, even when your experiences with mages in the past have been horrific.'

'But your father–'

'My father hails from a high-born family of the Tevinter Imperium. He may have left that life behind many years ago, but his hands are not clean. Not by any measure. And neither are mine. He knows this well.'

Valina slid off the desk. She held his head in her hands, drawing him to her chest. He took a deep breath, and she felt him relax in her embrace. She placed a soft kiss on the top his head.

'I love you, Cullen. I know your past, and I accept the demons within it, and I accept the good man you have become despite them. Whatever he said to you, whatever he told you to do, don't you dare listen to him.'

Cullen grasped her wrist when she tried to draw away. 'Where are you going?'

She bent to place a soft kiss on his lips, extracting her arm from his grasp. 'I need to have a word with my father about boundaries.'

* * *

Valina stalked through the fortress. Although she did not wear her coat or her daggers, and although her expression was blank, the people she passed stepped aside, a few trembling as if sensing the fury that rolled through her.

She pushed through the heavy door to the main building of the fortress, slamming it behind her. She passed Solas glanced up from his perch on the desk at the sound of the door, but upon seeing Valina, he ducked his head back down to the book as if fascinated by the words. His eyes followed her as she reached the spiralling staircase.

She stalked up the final step. As she passed the first alcove, Dorian caught her arm.

'Valina, whatever is the matter?' he asked. Sensing her inner turmoil, he wore no hint of his usual smirk.

Valina unclenched her fists, forcing calm into her stance. 'I need to speak with my father. Have you seen him?'

'As far as I know he's in one of the reading alcoves,' Dorian said, though he seemed reluctant to release her, 'why?'

'I'll explain later,' Valina said, throwing an empty smile his way as she removed his hand from her arm, 'just some family stuff, you know?'

Dorian arched a worried eyebrow, his mind flashing to his 'reunion' with his father only a few months before. 'Indeed.'

The next alcove Valina passed was empty, but she found Dranus in the following one. Her father was buried in a book, his eyes darting back and forth along the pages. He glanced up only when Valina stepped closer, seeming to shake himself from his focus.

'Ah, my little raven,' he said, a smile lighting his eyes. When their serpentstone gazes met, his smile faltered. 'Sweetheart?'

'Outside. Now,' she said through gritted teeth.

Dranus returned the book to the shelf, unease settling over him. When Valina turned on her heel without another word, he followed. She led him to a crumbling section of the wall away from prying eyes.

'I think I know what this is about,' Dranus said as their steps slowed.

Valina turned on him. 'Do you?'

'I wanted to talk to you this morning but you were training, so I had a conversation with Cullen instead.'

'A conversation?' she said, ice filling her gaze, 'is that what you call it?'

Dranus squared his shoulders. 'Not all conversations are pleasant, Valina, but that does not lessen the importance of having them.'

'How _dare_ you,' she snarled, stalking closer, 'what gives you the right to accuse Cullen of things which you know nothing about?'

' _I_ know nothing?' he asked, 'I know enough of what happened in Ferelden, of what happened in Kirkwall, to make an assessment of him and decide that he is not worthy of my daughter.'

'You have heard only a fraction of the story.'

'I do not need to know more. Rutherford is a murderer, Valina.'

'You say that as if you are innocent,' Valina snapped, 'but I remember all the stories you told me about what your family liked to do to slaves. For fuck's sake, you infused lyrium into a girl's skin. She was, what, fifteen? You may have left that life long ago father, but you cannot hide from it.'

'I was under orders, Valina. My father, my family would have–'

A harsh laugh broke from Valina's throat. 'What, so when Cullen was under orders and rightly feared for his life, it wasn't okay? But when _you're_ under threat, torture is on the table?'

'I regret what I did every day. It's why I left Tevinter! It's why your mother and I spent so much time trying to free slaves when you were young–'

'And you think Cullen doesn't regret his past?'

'He's a Templar; he's not capable of such a complex emotion. I will not stand him laying another finger on you, Valina.'

'He lays more than fingers on me, father.'

' _Kaffas_ ,' Dranus snapped, fire lighting his eyes, 'what has he done to you? How has he be-spelled you?'

' _He_ is a timid chantry boy, father, even now. I spent weeks throwing myself at him before he finally kissed me and I had to remind him of his worth before he believed that I would accept that much from him.'

'He has no worth,' Dranus spat.

Valina felt her final ounce of control snap viciously. 'Where did you get all of this information that you use to condemn a man you do not know? Did your informants tell you about how many hours he endured torture by blood mages before he was even twenty years old? Did they marvel at the fact that he survived with his mind intact? Because Dorian and Malakar did,' she said, her gaze searing him, 'I bet they left out the gory details there; you would have enjoyed it too much, listening to his suffering. Oh, I bet they also forgot to tell you that he questioned Meredith's orders in Kirkwall too, that he risked his life to challenge her, even though he was terrified by the thought of blood mages taking the circle like they had in Ferelden, the thought that he could be tortured again. But no, they probably just talk about the Gallows, because clearly Templars are the only ones capable of doing despicable things.'

'Templars–'

' _I am not finished_ ,' she yelled, and Dranus fell silent. For a moment she swore that fear flashed in his green gaze, but she was too enraged to be sure. She could feel her body shaking with fury, and she had to fight for composure before she continued. 'Tell me, _father_ , did your informants skip over the part where he restored order after the rebellion? The fact that he has repented relentlessly, and that he fights the doctrine and fear that his time as a Templar instilled in him every day? The fact that he has made every effort to welcome the mages to Skyhold as allies, even though he grieves friends who have been enslaved by Corypheus? Pity, considering that Cassandra recruited him because of his potential as a commander, believing in him so much that she personally agreed to help him fight his addiction to lyrium.'

Dranus faltered in his silent seething. 'He doesn't take lyrium?'

'Not for a long time now,' Valina said, feeling tears prick at her eyes as she recalled waking to Cullen's terror that morning, 'he suffers violent nightmares, so vivid that I've had to wake him more than once because he came close to hurting himself in his sleep. He tries to hide it, but I know that the withdrawal is painful. I'm sure you think he deserves the punishment.'

Dranus reached for Valina, his instinct screaming at him to comfort her, but she slapped his hand away, the movement as fast and sharp as lightning.

'Do not touch me,' she said, stepping back. Her hands clenched into fists. 'I have idolised you, as only a daughter can. But the man you have shown yourself to be today, that man is not my father. And if you cannot see past your selfish ignorance to accept the one and only man who I have called amatus… I am not your daughter.'

Valina pushed past Dranus, silent tears streaking her cheeks. He tried to call out to her but the words caught in his throat, a sob wrenching from his chest. But Valina did not look back as she walked along the wall; she did not see him sink to his knees in anguish, filled with regret about the pain he had caused in his selfishness, with fear that he had lost his daughter forever, not to a lover, but because of his own anger.

* * *

Valina closed the door quietly behind her, leaning on it. Cullen looked up from his desk at the click of the door, rising as Valina sank down to the cobblestones. Cullen rushed to her side, dropping to his knees beside her. As her shoulders shook, he drew her against his chest.

'What happened?'

Valina took a shuddering breath. 'I know all the darkness in my father's past, before he married my mother, but the things he said, Cullen... I never thought he had such cruelty in him.'

Cullen held her tighter, knowing nothing he could say would offer the comfort she needed.

Valina scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, forcing a few deep breaths into her lungs. 'Why didn't he talk to me earlier?' she asked, looking up, her serpentstone gaze shining with tears.

'I don't know, my love. I suspect he really was just put out by the… informality of our living arrangements in the beginning.'

'So he listens to some half-baked rumours, but not his daughter?' Valina asked, anger flaring once more, 'he should have come to us if he had concerns about your past. We would have alleviated them immediately, rather than letting them fester as he did.' She shook her head. 'I was harsh to him, but he deserved it. I will not stand him calling you a murdered based on misinformation.'

'I am a murderer, Valina,' Cullen whispered.

'Then so am I,' she snapped, 'I have killed countless more than you have, all for money. I had no Knight-Commander breathing down my neck, or a past of torture to explain my actions, to account for them, yet under the Maker I may repent, just as you may. You are not a murderer, Cullen, you are a survivor. You have worked tirelessly to make up for the mistakes of your past, many of which are not truly your crosses to bare but the crosses of others who dumped their fears and anger on a young man and ordered him to dance.'

'You see only the good in me when I find only darkness.'

Valina cupped his stubbled cheeks, forcing him to meet her serpentstone gaze. 'No, Cullen. I see everything and I love you just the same.'

Valina rose to her knees, locking her arms tight around his neck. Cullen held her, burying his face in her neck, breathing in the soothing scent of roses that lingered on her skin.

'What did I do to deserve you?' he asked.

Valina pulled back, holding his head in her hands. 'You asked me to dance.'

A cautious knock sounded on the door behind them. Cullen helped Valina to her feet, instinctually tucking her behind him as he opened the door. He felt a weight settle in his stomach as he met Dranus' gaze, and he could sense Valina bristle with anger behind him.

'What do you want?' Valina asked, her voice like ice.

'Can I come in?'

'I don't think that would be the best idea at present, Ser,' Cullen said, reaching to hold Valina back. She was angry, but he would not allow her to do anything she might regret.

'Then I will say my piece from here. I offer no excuse for my behaviour. Nothing I can say will ever make up for the hurt I have caused you both. I only ask you hear me once more.'

'So you can make more accusations?'

'Valina, please listen,' Dranus said, barely above a whisper, 'when the first assassin came for you I feared there would be no end to the attempts. Your mother and I always wanted a big family, for you to have brothers and sisters, but we knew that we would only enrage my father further, so we made a choice to… to prevent another pregnancy. We poured all our love into you, Valina, all the love for the family we could not have, and seeing you grow into the strong woman you has become has been simultaneously the most difficult and the most rewarding experience in my life. I have been selfish, Valina, entirely selfish. For almost 30 years I have tried to protect you, no matter how far you travelled, fearing that this day would come.'

'What day?'

Dranus smiled weakly. 'The day my daughter no longer needed her father,' he whispered, 'in truth, I have been wilfully naive; it's been many years since you truly needed me, but I have clung to the vision of you when you were barely knee-high, calling for me to save you from your nightmares.' He glanced at Cullen. 'I never thought that I would become my father, and I am ashamed to say that it took so little to turn me. I accused you of horrific things, Cullen, when I have blood on my hands, and I let people cloud my perceptions of you when there are only two people's opinions that matter, yours.' He looked at his daughter, feeling a weight in his chest at the darkness in her gaze. 'And yours, Valina.'

'It's not me that you need to apologise to, father,' Valina hissed, turning on her heel, 'I've heard enough of this.'

'Valina,' Dranus called, but the door slammed behind her. His shoulders dropped, the weight in his chest sinking deeper.

'I'm sure you know you can't chase her.'

Dranus sighed. 'I do.'

A tense moment passed between them, the silence only broken by Dranus drawing a deep breath. 'I am sorry, Cullen. I cannot hope for you to forgive me…' He could not continue. His head hung in defeat, his shoulders shaking with his shuddering breath as he prepared to accept whatever insults Cullen desired to throw, but he heard no harsh words. When Dranus dared open his eyes he looked down at the hand Cullen extended as if he did not believe the sight; he stared without seeing.

'Ser?' Cullen said, ducking his head in an attempt to catch the mage's green gaze.

Dranus took Cullen's hand, and Cullen gripped firmly. Dranus looked up, finding a deep sincerity in Cullen's tawny gaze.

'I should never have doubted you, Cullen. I will never be able to apologise enough for that.'

'You want the best for your daughter,' Cullen said, glancing down. He withdrew his hand from Dranus'. 'I know that I do not deserve her, Ser, but I swear to the Maker that I will do anything to make her happy. Anything.'

'Cullen, you have shown yourself to be an honest and respectful man, even in the face of my failings.'

Cullen looked up, finding warmth in the mage's gaze. 'Ser?

'You truly love her.'

Cullen nodded. 'To the deepest parts of my soul.'

Dranus could sense the truth in Cullen's words. He gripped Cullen's shoulder. 'I could hope for no better partner for Valina,' he said, 'I do not expect her to forgive me any time soon, but please tell her that I love her and that I am sorry. I never thought I would become an old man so soon.'

They shook hands once more, and with a final bow, Dranus left Cullen standing in the door, staring out at the late afternoon sun.

* * *

When Dranus was out of sight Cullen closed the door. He leant his head against the sturdy wood, taking a deep breath. His stomach still churned with emotions from the chaotic day, but a sense of calm was filtering through the clamour of anger, fear, and doubt. He went to the opposite door.

As he had suspected, Valina was sitting on the top of the wall watching soldiers training in the ring below.

'Is he gone?' Valina asked as she heard his approaching footsteps.

'Yes.'

'What did he say?'

'He apologised sincerely and left with a handshake and my forgiveness.'

If she was surprised, she did not show it.

'Should I still be mad at him?' Valina glanced back, turning on the wall. She dropped down onto the cobblestone and Cullen finally took a breath, relieved to see her on safe footing.

'That's up to you. You have every right to stay upset with him, for as long as you need to.'

Valina sighed. 'It's been a long time since we've had a fight, and I have never been so angry,' she admitted, 'I don't want to stay mad at him, but this is too big for me to let go of. Yet.'

'He will understand, and he will love you regardless of your anger, just as you love him,' Cullen said, his fingertips brushing her cheek, 'take all the time you need to.'

Valina caught Cullen's hand, holding it against her cheek. She leant into his touch, and he pulled her into his arms.

'I am sorry, Valina.'

She pulled back just enough to look up at him. 'Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything.'

'I… doubted myself,' Cullen said, glancing down, 'I let my thoughts overcome me again–'

'Cullen, do you love me?'

There was no other response to those words. 'More than anything.'

'Did you ever think of leaving me?'

Her serpentstone gaze captured him, and he fell into the green depths of her eyes. 'It's selfish, but I couldn't even bear the thought.'

'Then you have nothing to apologise for,' she said, burying herself in his embrace and hiding her smirk, 'besides, you wouldn't make it three miles before I found you and dragged you back to our bed to teach you a lesson.'

Valina glanced up with her wicked serpentstone gaze and Cullen could not hide his smile. 'Really?'

'Three miles,' she repeated, 'tops.'

'I don't doubt that.'

Valina slipped her hand into Cullen's and turned him toward the stairs. Together, they wandered down to Herald's Rest. For a while, she seemed lost in thought, until they neared the tavern and she asked, 'do you think Varric is around?'

'He might be, why?'

She glanced mischievously at him. 'I think we could use a game of Wicked Grace after dinner.'

'Sweet Maker,' Cullen said, shaking his head, 'it took me a week to get all my armour back last time, Valina, and the torment I endured in the meantime was relentless.'

'I take it off your armour off you every night, Amatus,' she said as they entered the tavern, 'it should only take you an evening to convince me to return all the pieces.'

Whenever Cullen removed his armour, he always did so methodically. It was simply a task required to go to sleep or bathe: a menial duty, like organising his reports at the end of the day. But, when Valina removed his armour… He shivered at the thought, shaking himself mentally to refocus on their conversation.

'Some of our companions are formidable players. How are you so sure that you'll win?'

She flashed him a wicked grin. 'Ten coins says I've read everyone's tells in under twelve minutes.'

Cullen smiled, drawing her closer as they took a seat at the bar. He knew it was unwise to bet against her, but he could not resist the mischievous glint in her eyes.

'You're on.'

* * *

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who are sticking with me! I've been busily writing, so I can promise that there is plenty more to come.

I also really appreciate the kudos and the comments that have been left so far. Even if it's just to say "nice chapter", I really do appreciate the time people have been taking to support this fanfiction, so, if you have a moment, please leave me a comment. Please feel free to ask questions, also, either here or on my Tumblr!

~ Roksy

roksanalyasin


	12. By the Fire

**Chapter Twelve**

 **By the Fire**

Cullen woke to a heavy knocking. He cracked his eyes open, surprised to see that the room was dimly lit, stars still peeking through the hole in the roof.

 _How early is it?_ Cullen wondered as he dragged himself up and pushed the covers back. He glanced down; Valina stirred beside him but did not wake. He brushed strands of dark hair from her forehead and she snuggled further into the covers with a sigh.

The knocking began again in earnest, drawing Cullen out of his thoughts. His legs were unsteady as he placed his feet on the cold floorboards and he stumbled toward the end of the bed. He dragged on a pair of pants, shaking sleep from his mind.

'I'm coming,' he called as he approached the ladder, his voice harsh. When he reached the floor of his office he cleared his throat, scrubbing his hands over his face to try and wipe the remnants of sleep from his eyes.

Cullen opened the door and Josephine stifled her surprised gasp. The crockery on the tray she carried shuddered and tea nearly spilt from the teapot, threatening to soak the letter folded beside it.

'Oh, Commander, I am sorry,' she said, glancing sideways, apparently caught off guard by his state of undress, though a smile did light her lips, 'I did not mean to wake you.'

'No need to apologise,' he said hurriedly, 'but, may I ask why you're knocking on my quarters so early?' He glanced outside. 'The sun isn't even up yet.'

'I received a letter from a concerned businessman in Sahrnia.'

'And?' Cullen asked, rubbing his face again, unable to mask his tired frustration.

'He is an old acquaintance of the Voclain family, and a very wealthy man with access to mining resources, among other things. Amira contacted him about allying with the Inquisition. He has agreed to do so… on one condition.'

 _Another entitled Orlesian noble who thinks to make the Inquisition their personal army for a few resources. Does_ no one _realise that we're fighting a war?_

Cullen sighed. 'And what is his condition?'

'He requested we investigate a particularly organised group of bandits who have been stirring up tension in the region.'

'Send out a scout then.'

'We have, Commander.'

'And?'

'We have not heard back from them. Leliana is concerned; they should have returned two days ago.'

'That is concerning,' Cullen admitted, 'Sahrina is not far from here, and the weather has been calm. They can't have been delayed so long without significant cause. A day, at most would be reasonable.'

'It _may_ be nothing,' Josephine said, 'but the Inquisitor is not due to return for two days. Perhaps you and Valina could investigate in the meantime?' She offered him the tray, the teapot steaming temptingly. 'As soon as possible. This morning, even.'

Cullen stifled his sigh, accepting the tray. 'Have horses and provisions prepared. We'll be down as soon as possible.'

'Of course, Commander,' Josephine said, dragging her eyes away from him again as she turned on her heel. Cullen closed the door behind himself, juggling the tray with one hand. He placed the tray on the small service elevator that Amira had designed for them after insisting there was no better place to have a morning cup of tea than in bed. Cullen could not argue with her as he climbed to the loft level. He untied the rope from the wall, hoisting the tray up, the pulley squeaking softly.

Valina stirred in the bed, propping herself up on her elbow. 'Is that tea I smell, Amatus?' she asked, voice husky with sleep.

Cullen smiled as he collected the tray. 'It is, my love.'

She frowned as he walked towards her. 'Why are you wearing pants?' she asked, 'I thought I declared this a no clothes zone.'

Cullen laughed. 'I didn't want to answer the door naked,' he said as he sat on the bed, placing the tray carefully on the soft surface, 'Josephine may not have appreciated it, either.'

Valina reached eagerly for a cup. 'Oh, she would have, she's just a decent enough person that she would pretend not to enjoy the view.'

Cullen glanced sideways at her, and Valina winked. He too reached for a cup, warmth radiating through the crockery. He leant back against the bedhead, the heat of the tea quickly spreading through him after a few sips.

'So, what did Josie want, if not to ogle you?'

Cullen glanced at her again and she traced the tip of her tongue along the edge of the teacup. His eyes lingered on her for a moment before he absently picked up the letter, passing it to her. 'It appears we have a mission.'

Valina arched a dark eyebrow. 'I thought I would be training soldiers for the foreseeable future?'

Cullen shrugged. 'Apparently, this is more pressing.'

Valina looked at the cracked wax seal. 'Marquis D'or,' she said, noting the crest, 'mother said she had contacted him.'

'You know him?' Cullen asked, watching as she opened the letter one-handed, refusing to relinquish her cup even as she shuffled closer so they could both read the missive.

'Yes, though I'm not sure I would even number him among my acquaintances. I have met him in person a number of times, but it's been many years since I last saw him,' she said her attention turning to the letter.

* * *

 _Dear Inquisitor,_

 _I was delighted to hear from Marquise Voclain recently. At her request, I am willing to commit my vast resources to the Inquisition. Unfortunately, I have some pressing matters to attend to which currently permit my full commitment to your honourable cause._

 _Sahrina is being besieged by bandits. At first, I thought them the usual sort, taking advantage of the chaos that the sky rifts are causing, but now I am not so sure. I have sent out some of my personal guards to investigate their fortress, a decrepit and long abandoned estate a few miles from my own, but none have returned. I hoped that, when your scouts arrived, the matter would be swiftly dealt with. Alas, they too appear to have been captured or killed by these ruffians._

 _Please send your finest men to investigate this matter. Once it is resolved and Sahrina is safe again I will be at your beck and call._

 _Yours,_

 _Marquis Benet D'or._

* * *

Cullen glanced up from the letter. 'I hope Josephine isn't sending us into another trap.'

'At least this time we will know,' Valina said, 'it may have been many years since I last saw him, but I have good recall for faces.'

'When did you meet him?'

'When I was fourteen. He was in his early twenties then. I was quite enamoured,' she admitted, 'I think if our age difference hadn't been so great, my parents would have considered him as a potential suitor. Combining our families certainly would have made for us a formidable trade power, if not unstoppable. Not that it would have worked out, what with me being a rogue and a mercenary.'

Cullen bristled at the idea of this unknown man as a suitor, but as quickly as jealousy surged through him he squashed the irrational idea, reminding himself that Valina sat naked beside him.

 _Absolutely ravishing, and completely mine._

'I suppose we best deal with it quickly, then,' Cullen said, placing his tea cup on the tray and preparing to rise from the bed.

Slender fingers gripped his wrist tightly.

'You, Ser Rutherford, won't be going anywhere just yet,' Valina said, 'if I am to spend the day travelling, I'll need more than a cup of tea to wake me up. I'm sure Master Dennet will need more time to prepare the horses. Another hour, surely…'

Duty tugged at Cullen's mind, but the wicked glint in her eyes scattered his thoughts.

 _Just a little longer_ , he thought, allowing Valina to draw him back to the bed.

* * *

The sun had barely risen when Amira rushed down the stairs from her quarters, hiking her dress higher to avoid tripping. A small crowd had gathered at the main gate. Amira strained higher, standing on her toes to see above the heads, catching sight of glossy, dark hair. She dashed forward, grasping Valina's wrist before her daughter could mount the massive horse.

'Valina, I'm so glad I caught you,' Amira said, a little breathless as she gathered Valina's hands in her own. She folded the small package in her daughter's palm.

'What is this?' Valina asked.

'The piece you asked me to craft.'

Valina glanced down. She unfolded the protective cloth eagerly, a smile lighting her lips when she laid her eyes upon the contents. She threw her arms around Amira, whispering her thanks.

When Amira managed to extract herself from her daughter's tight embrace, she picked up the leather cord and quickly tied it around Valina's neck. Valina tucked the necklace beneath her shirt.

'Thank you,' Valina said, 'I'm sorry I didn't let you know we're leaving. We were only told this morning.'

'Where are you going?'

'Sahrina, to see Marquis D'or.'

'He replied to my letter?'

'Yes, but there's a problem in the region that he wants the Inquisition to investigate first before he commits resources to us.'

Amira arched a delicate auburn eyebrow. 'Problem?'

'Bandits. Nothing serious. We won't be long.'

'Why do _you_ have to go?'

Valina sighed, though she was not surprised by her mother's concern. 'Scouts were sent to investigate, but they haven't returned. They were due back days ago. Josie and Leliana are worried, and rightly so. It's not ideal, but without the Inquisitor here, it's better that Cullen and I go, just in case. They don't want to send inexperienced soldiers if there is a real threat. I certainly wouldn't.'

Amira pulled Valina into a tight hug. 'Be safe.'

Valina hugged back. 'I will.'

'Oh!' Amira said, drawing back from the embrace to reach into the small pouch tied at her waist, 'I have a surprise for you.'

She unfolded the cloth, revealing a beautiful, intricately carved serpentstone pin engraved with a raven; the tip entwined with dragon bone, making a sharp but strong point. She lifted the pin from her hand, attaching it to Valina's coat. 'Another good luck charm,' she said with a smile, 'I trust that you can take care of yourself, but you can't blame a mother for worrying.'

Valina hugged her mother a final time then turned to mount her horse. 'I'll be back in a few days,' she said.

Amira smiled up at her daughter. 'I know.'

Valina paused, searching for words. 'I'm not ready to see him, but tell dad...'

'I will.'

Valina nodded. She glanced back to check that Cullen was ready, then coaxed her horse into a slow walk toward the gates.

As Cullen rode forward, Amira caught his gaze. He thought she would threaten him, as she had at the Voclain estate, but when her icy blue eyes met his, he found a softer request.

 _Stay safe._

He was used to reading the words in his sister's letters, but to see it in Amira's eyes – the eyes of his love's mother – hammered the message home. He gave a low nod, a silent promise to keep Valina safe and to allow her to keep him safe in return.

* * *

 _Sahrina Region_

 _Orlais_

Valina and Cullen made the most of their early start, riding through the day. They stopped for breaks every few hours to rest the horses and stretch. When they reached the outskirts of Sharina, night was falling fast. They made camp concealed inside a quiet cave with a high ceiling, far away enough from the town that no one would accidentally stumble upon their supplies.

Although Cullen was not keen on the idea of sleeping in the enclosed space – they had a tent, after all, which he could leave open ended and reach out to touch the grass – but Valina pointed at the dark clouds thundering rolling in over the mountains and coaxed him inside. He was relieved to find it much larger than he had envisioned. There was even room to tie the horses off in the large mouth of the cave, keeping them out of the storm.

Cullen set up a bed and fed the horses while Valina left to gather firewood. As she felled a few smaller trees, she glanced up at the darkening sky, watching as the clouds rolled closer. She worked quickly, calling on Cullen to help her carry the wood undercover before the approaching rain arrived.

Together they prepared the nug Valina had hunted towards the end of their journey, setting it to roast above the fire. While it roasted, Cullen stripped his armour and Valina traded her custom coat for the warmth of a fur-lined cloak.

Valina glanced to the entrance of the cave as the first droplets of rain sounded on the stone. It came in light drops at first, splashing sweetly over leaves, but soon a storm clashed above the mountains. Outside the cave, torrents of water flowed down the surrounding rocks but the outward slope of the cave entrance protected the camp from being inundated.

Valina placed both of the stew pots under the downpour. 'At least we won't have to go hunting for water,' she said, returning to the fire. She paused beside it, turning the roasting nug-meat on the spit. Satisfied, she wrapped the cloak around herself, snuggling into the warm fur.

Cullen grasped her hips, dragging her down onto the mat with a gasp. He pulled her back tight against his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist. She leant back into his embrace, enjoying the comfort she found in his arms, his head resting on her shoulder, his stubbled cheek grazing across her cheek before he placed a soft kiss on her skin.

The wind roared outside but, beside the fire, they were warm.

Valina turned, half facing Cullen, her knees resting on his leg. 'I have something to show you,' she said, pulling the sides of the cloak apart. She glanced up, seeing gold flare in his gaze. She made a show of unlacing the top of her tunic, revealing the soft swell of her breasts, but she paused, earning a frustrated intake of breath from her eager commander. She hooked the fine leather cord with her finger, drawing the necklace from beneath her shirt. She held it before Cullen.

He took the token in his hand, his gloved thumb rubbing absently over the familiar coin. 'Is that…?' A delicate silverite frame surrounded the edge, holding it in place without damaging the token. He met her gaze. 'How?'

Valina smiled as he placed it back in her hand. 'Mother made it for me,' she said as she traced her finger over the emblem fondly, 'I was terrified I would lose it. I thought there was no better place to wear it than close to my heart.'

Cullen stared down at her, emotions swirling in his tawny eyes. The sound of the fire crackling beside them the storm that raged outside seemed mute as he held her gaze, the serpentstone sparking in the flickering light. He cupped her face in his hand, drawing her to his lips. His kiss that morning had been full of fire, claiming her body with every delightful nip and caress; now it was tender, and the warmth of his love filled her soul.

He pressed his forehead to hers. 'Thank you,' he whispered.

'For what?'

'For keeping it safe,' he said, a smile dancing on his lips.

She placed a soft kiss on his nose. 'I love you, too.'

Valina pulled away reluctantly, only long enough to take the roasted meat off the fire. She laid the meat out on sturdy camp ware and took a small loaf of bread from their pack of provisions.

She passed Cullen one of the plates then joined him on the mat again, automatically arching her legs over his, allowing her to be closer to him. They ate together, enjoying the warmth of their company, and when they had finished their meal Cullen retrieved one of the pots from the rain, putting it over the fire to boil.

The smell of sweet tea filled the cave as it steeped.

Valina clutched her cup tightly, drinking deeply of the strong tea, enjoying the smooth earthy flavours.

'It's been so long since I've enjoyed such good tea, I travelled so much before I attended the ball in Val Royeaux. I had only just got home when Leliana's scout started heavy-breathing at me,' she said, inhaling deeply over her mug, 'I admit that if I had not stayed in the Inquisition for you, I certainly would have stayed for the vast selection of tea.'

'I thought you were bored?'

'I was,' she said with a shrug, 'if the Inquisition hadn't searched for me, I'd probably be off hunting down a bounty, or doing some other predictable job.'

'You've done a lot of that while in the Inquisition.'

'And much more,' she said, glancing up with a mischievous smile, 'and, as I said, I did in part join because of you.'

'Even after all that has happened, I struggle to believe that.'

Valina sighed, a little frustrated at his self-depreciating tone. 'Cullen, I won't lie; no matter what happened at the ball, I would certainly have tried to seduce you, but you have to understand something.'

'I'm listening.'

She met Cullen's gaze, seeing nothing but sincerity within the tawny depths. _How do I say this?_ she wondered, probing her mind for the right words.

'As soon as I started to… develop… suitors from families all over Orlais and Ferelden were attempting to court me, despite the relative obscurity we lived in. Mother and Father even met with a noble from the Free Marches. People were fascinated with my family because of my parents' marriage and the scandal it caused, and, as the sole child born from their marriage, I bore a great deal of the near fanatical interest people seemed to have about our lives.'

'That can't have been easy.'

'Not particularly, but I am nothing if not headstrong, thanks to my mother. But it wasn't just curiosity that drew the suitors. My family had been known for its wealth for generations, so there was a heavy expectation that my hand would also entail a significant inheritance. I said earlier that my parents didn't consider Marquis D'or as a potential suitor because of our age difference, and while that is true, I didn't tell you the whole story,' she admitted.

'You can tell me anything, Valina,' Cullen prompted as he wrapped his arm around her waist, 'just as I can tell you.'

Valina sighed. 'The reality is that my parents had to turn Marquis D'or down on multiple occasions leading up to my eighteenth birthday. Even after that, he was persistent. As much as my parents wanted me to marry someone appropriate, as does any parent, they also wanted that choice to be mine. After all the hostility they dealt with from my grandfather, they never wanted me to feel pressured to accept the proposal of someone I did not love,' she said, glancing up at him, 'and although I found Benet handsome, I was young and eager to use the skills I had learned, and not particularly impressed with his proclamations of affection considering I had at that point spent not more than a few hours in his presence. So, I left. I certainly had some fulfilling relationships and friendships when I didn't use my last name, but I still drew attention. You don't see a lot of Tevinter blood wandering around in Ferelden these days, you know?'

'Dorian has mentioned that, though he is a mage, so he does draw a little more attention.'

'Trust me, the tan and the dark hair draws enough on its own, especially around drunks,' Valina said with a wry smile, 'I'm not bragging when I say you're one of only a few people who I've been interested in that didn't throw themselves at me, even though I could tell that you found me attractive when you approached me in the ballroom–'

'I wanted to learn more about your moti–'

'Nice try handsome, but I do have to remind you that you're an open book to me, and I've heard Leliana and Josie's versions; they paint a _very_ different picture.'

Cullen glanced down, twisting his fingers in the fabric of her tunic. 'I can hardly be blamed for wanting to dance with you. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.'

Valina cupped his cheek, a bright smile on her lips. 'And you are the most handsome man I've had the fortune of meeting, especially when you blush,' she said, 'but even though you were attracted to me, and I to you, deeper down I could see a curiosity within you. You wanted to _know_ me. That has been a rare experience for me. People always have an agenda, and among mercenaries, that's usually to take a prize fuck, to steal something, or to kill. There isn't really a middle ground.'

'I think I know what you mean, to some degree at least,' he said, glancing away sheepishly, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck, 'the sheer number of letters Josephine has been fielding since the ball asking if I'm… available. I never thought of myself as a prize before. I still don't, despite the letters…'

'Clearly, I haven't corrupted you enough yet, Amatus. You are still so innocent.'

'I hardly think–'

'I don't call you 'handsome' lightly. People are captivated by you, Cullen. You walk with a predatory grace that makes knees weak and hearts stammer. I've seen more than one server in the Herald's Rest nearly walk into a post or trip over a chair because she can't draw her eyes away from you, and then there's Dorian, Malakar and Iron Bull–'

Cullen clenched his jaw if only to prevent it from falling off at the words. 'You can't be serious.'

'Think of mabaris salivating over a juicy piece of meat, and you'll know what Dorian and Malakar looked like when you chopped some wood shirtless at camp on our return trip from my estate. As for Bull, he's suggested more than once that we should have a threesome, but I'm not too keen on sharing you.'

His ears turned red at the words. 'Maker's breath…'

Valina smiled mischievously. 'It's exhausting, isn't it?'

His blush deepened. 'Indeed it is.'

Valina placed her empty cup on the ground beside her, turning to face Cullen fully. 'You know well that I'm not shy in any respect, and I've always been honest with you about the partners I have taken...'

'You have,' he prompted, sensing she wanted to say more.

'I chose them specifically because they did not expect me to tell them my full name, nor did they expect more than an exchange of pleasure, but when I met you... for the first time I could have a meaningful conversation with someone who knows who I am without underlying tension, without eyes constantly undressing me, without them expecting me to conform to their expectations. This has unfortunately been especially true of men. Every conversation I have had with a man that I even vaguely considered as potential suitors became a battle of wills. They wanted to _own_ me. I cannot even count on my hands the number who insisted that, if I was to become their wife, I would never pick up a blade again, or dirty the beautiful dresses they promised me.' She sneered. 'As if I were a kept pet.'

'They didn't care about what you wanted?'

'No. To be honest, I expected the same from you. I thought you would never want to hear about my life, but you _wanted_ to hear the stories, wanted to hear about even the most boring jobs.'

'Why wouldn't I? Your adventures have shaped you into the woman you are now.'

She smiled at him, but a sadness tinged her eyes. 'Not many nobles, especially Orlesian nobles, want a woman with violence in her past, and they especially don't want a woman with spirit.'

Cullen grasped her waist, drawing her onto her knees so that he could take her into his embrace. 'They have no idea what they're missing out on,' he growled, gold flecks in his gaze as he lowered his lips to her neck, 'the things you have shown me, the strength I have found in your embrace…'

'I am glad that they did not want to see who I truly am, Amatus,' she said, fingers entwining in the soft waves of his hair, 'every moment I spent with you in those early weeks at Skyhold, I enjoyed. I enjoy your friendship. I know I was forward with you, Cullen, and I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable. My behaviour was just as bad as some of the men I have dealt with, but I really did appreciate your friendship most of all and–'

Cullen placed a finger on her lips, her eyes going wide at the gesture.

'You don't have to apologise, Valina. As much as I may not have shown it, I did enjoy your advances.' He glanced down, his blush returning as he remembered the moments they shared, the tension that hummed between them as they flirted. 'I was just... I should have known better, but I didn't think you would accept me if you knew about the lyrium. It's why it took me so long to admit...' His thumb traced her cheek softly. 'Maker's breath, I fell hard for you.'

Valina held his hand against her cheek, leaning into his touch. 'And I you.'

She placed her hand on his chest, coaxing Cullen to lay back on the mat. She settled beside him, the fur-lined cloak spreading over them as she rose onto her elbow, claiming his lips, her kiss lingering. He wrapped her tight in his arms and she lay her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

As much as he wanted to make love to her in that moment, they were both exhausted after the long day of travel. He held her tight against his side, revelling in the warmth of her embrace as he listened to her sing softly in Tevene, her voice echoing in the cave until sleep claimed her.

Cullen carefully reached for the blankets above his head, careful not to disturb her. He unclasped the cloak, letting it fall freely over them, then draped the blankets over the top. The fire crackled softly beside them, the embers burning down to ash, sending shadows dancing around the room. He brushed a few stray strands of hair from her cheek, and she snuggled closer to his side.

In a cave, on a thin mat that was little better than the stone beneath them, with the storm billowing outside, Cullen decided that there was no better place to be.


	13. Friendly Fire

**Chapter Thirteen**

 **Friendly Fire**

Valina and Cullen rose shortly after sunrise. The storm had cleared overnight, leaving the grass dewy, the moisture throwing sparkling sunlight around the forest. While Cullen prepared the horses, Valina hid their rations high up on a ledge to protect them from the prying snouts of curious animals.

They set out into the warm sun, travelling the few remaining miles to Marquis D'or's estate. During the short journey, Valina briefed Cullen on Benet D'or's appearance and what information she knew about the Marquis' history. If an imposter lay in wait, as at Cormont's estate, they would not be deceived.

Although the house was not as large as the Voclain estate's, the D'or estate was surrounded by significantly more land, with vineyards and hop fields sprawling out in every direction, seeming to spread to the horizon. The road from the gate to the house seemed to stretch for miles, winding between the fields that teemed with grapes and hops.

Valina and Cullen rode up to the stables at the side of the house, leaving their horses in the care of the stable hand before they made their way to the main door. Valina grasped the heavy bear claw knocker, striking the door twice, the dull knock reverberating through the iron filigree that wove over the door. After a few moments, a latch clicked loudly and the door swung open.

The young servant woman smiled at them. 'Lady Voclain and Commander Cullen?' she asked, offering a polite curtesy.

'Yes,' Valina said, 'we're here at Marquis D'or's request.'

'Please, come in,' she said, stepping aside, 'follow me.'

She moved quickly, leading Valina and Cullen to a well-appointed sitting room, then excused herself politely to retrieve the Marquis from his study.

Valina settled onto a plush lounge, patting the cushion beside her. A soft smile tugged at her lips. 'I suppose we need to be professional.'

'For now,' Cullen said, though he desperately wanted to wrap his arm around her. As he settled onto the lounge he pressed closer, his knee resting beside hers. He couldn't help but smile when Valina placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing gently for a moment before she settled back into the plush cushions as comfortably as her daggers allowed.

Cullen settled back as well, watching as she analysed the room. She appeared relaxed, her legs crossed, one foot bouncing as she tapped a rhythm, but he knew those piercing serpentstone eyes were analysing every wall, every crevice, every ornately carved piece of decoration, hunting for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. After a few minutes, they heard footsteps approaching and her eyes snapped to the door. They stood, preparing to greet their host.

When D'or entered the sitting room Cullen felt his stomach drop like a stone. Even with forewarning about D'or's impeccable appearance, he had not considered just how well presented the man would be; he understood now why Valina had found him attractive in her youth, and would not be surprised if his appearance still lit a flame of desire within her.

Benet D'or stood an inch or two taller than Cullen, his broad shoulders highlighted by a snugly tailored shirt in a striking blue. He seemed to glide into the room, his steps firm and sure, and his movements as graceful as the sweeping steps of a waltz. His chestnut hair was waxed to perfection, the strands tamed and coiffed immaculately. His face was cleanly shaven, accentuating a strong jaw and an aristocratic nose. Although time was beginning to mark his face with soft lines around his eyes and forehead – Cullen guessed that Benet could not be far from forty – he had a smile that spoke of confidence and success.

Benet's soft grey eyes instantly sought out Valina, a smile curving his lips.

Cullen had thought he understood what Valina meant when she had discussed the gazes she received from men, but only as he watched Benet's stormy eyes travel leisurely over Valina did Cullen truly comprehend how frustrating she must find it. She barely knew this man and he was already staring at her with what Cullen could only describe as blatant hunger.

The urge to wrap his arm around Valina surged within Cullen again, combining with the clamour of instinct that he could not distinguish in the din of his thoughts. Anger, disgust, protectiveness all fought for his attention and he had to clench his fist to keep his arm at his side. Cullen bit his tongue, struggling against the urge to snap at the noble.

'Valina,' Benet said, gliding the last few steps to her.

As a daughter of a Marquise, Valina's name commanded a certain level of respect, even among social equals. Cullen felt Valina bristle beside him at the familiarity in Benet's voice, but she hid her displeasure behind an impenetrable smile. The fact that Benet's informal greeting bothered Valina said much about her feelings toward the man: she detested being greeted formally by people she liked.

 _Mistake, D'or_ , Cullen thought, his mind quieting somewhat, pleased by the reassurance that Valina did not see Benet as even a friendly acquaintance.

Benet took her hand, bending to place a kiss upon it, purposely finding the bare skin of her fingers. Valina visibly grimaced while Benet's eyes were closed, and Cullen clenched his fists behind his back, knowing that assaulting the Marquis would not mark the beginning of fruitful negotiations, no matter how satisfying he might find the action.

Valina withdrew her hand as soon as a polite amount of time had passed, dropping her arm to her side. Cullen glanced at her, seeing her arm twitch, her hand instinctively curling inwards to rub against her coat.

'What a surprise,' Benet said, 'I was expecting the Inquisitor.'

'He is tied up elsewhere at the moment dealing with other Inquisition matters,' Valina said, 'but I can assure you that whatever problems have arisen in Sahrnia will be dealt with swiftly.'

'I am sure of that. I cannot say I'm disappointed that the Inquisitor was busy. It is so good to see you again,' he said, not noticing that Valina had taken half a step back, 'how is it that you are more beautiful every time I see you?

'Unfortunately, I must insist that we attend to your bandit problem,' Valina said, acting convincingly disappointed while swiftly passing over his advance, 'in your letter, you requested the finest men in the Inquisition. This is the Inquisition's Commander, Cullen Rutherford.'

Cullen was selfishly pleased with the way she dismissed Benet's compliment. He held out his hand, knowing Benet would have to accept. When the Marquis reluctantly slid his hand into Cullen's, he tried to tighten his grip threateningly, but Cullen had expected the challenge and met him head on.

'A pleasure,' Benet said, unable to mask entirely a pained gasp at Cullen's vice-like grip. He quickly withdrew from the handshake. 'I suppose we'll get to business then?'

'Please,' Valina said, glancing sideways at Cullen. She threw him a wink, and the weight in his stomach lifted, replaced with a satisfaction so deep that it curled warmly through his whole body.

'Come to my study, then.'

Benet rubbed at his hand as he led Valina and Cullen through a few more well-appointed rooms. They climbed to the second level and, after passing a few doors, Benet directed them into the study. He moved to sit behind the large, ornate desk. Valina and Cullen sat opposite, waiting expectantly as the Marquis unfurled a large scroll over the desk, turning it to face them.

'From what I have been able to learn, the bandits, if they are indeed bandits, have made their camp in an abandoned estate. Their force appears small, but they are highly trained and well organised. I've had reports that they can strike a large trade caravan and clear it out in minutes of their first attack,' Benet said, pointing at a mark on the map only a few miles from the boundary of the D'or estate, 'I sent out my fittest men but none have been able to get close enough to learn more without being captured. Those who have been captured have not returned.'

'And you met with some Inquisition scouts?' Valina asked, standing to get a better look at the map.

'Yes, days ago,' Benet said, 'I have heard nothing from them since.'

'Neither have we,' Cullen said, rising as well.

'It's why we were sent,' Valina added. She moved closer to Cullen as they examined the spot Benet had directed them to.

Benet leant back in his chair, sighing dramatically. 'But it is so dangerous, why would you not just send soldiers?'

Valina bristled at the suggestion, as did Cullen. The suggestion – that Inquisition soldiers were expendable – seemed obvious enough, but Cullen caught a deeper meaning just as readily as he caught Benet gazing longingly at Valina again.

 _…_ _I cannot even tell you how many told me that if I was their wife, I would never pick up a blade again, or dirty the beautiful dresses they promised me. As if I were a kept pet…_

'Your letter appeared urgent,' Cullen said, trying to keep his voice level as anger churned in his gut, 'we thought it best to resolve the matter as quickly as possible. I'm sure the people of Sahrnia will also appreciate a resolution.'

'I suppose,' Benet said, though he threw a glare at Cullen.

Valina straightened, stepping back from the desk as tension filled the room. 'We should deal with this quickly. We'll go scout the estate now and, if possible, negotiate with the bandits or move them on. It should take no more than a day, so if we don't report to you by midday tomorrow, please send word to Lady Montiliyet,' she said, bowing her head politely, 'we'll leave our horses stabled here for now if that would be acceptable?'

'Of course. I will ensure that they are well tended.'

Valina smiled as she thanked the Marquis, a hollowness in her eyes that only Cullen seemed to notice. She turned toward the door and Cullen followed.

Benet all but leapt up from his desk in his rush to join them. 'When you return, I must insist you stay with me,' he said hurriedly.

Valina paused at the door so suddenly that Cullen nearly ran into her. She looked up at Cullen, catching his gaze. 'What do you think, Amatus? Should we trouble the Marquis?'

Cullen had to stifle a grin at the wicked glint in her gaze, even as he felt Benet's glare burning holes into the side of his head. With that single word, she had effectively crushed any hope that Benet held about possessing her.

Cullen nodded stoically, meeting Benet's glare as he said, 'we wouldn't want to be a burden.'

'Or a nuisance,' Valina said, voice dropping into the purr that sent shivers rolling down his spine, 'what with all the noise. I'm terrible at keeping my voice down, aren't I, Amatus?'

Cullen looked back at Valina, masking his surprise but revelling in the anger that radiated from Benet. Cullen knew logically that many processes inherent in missions were noisy – debating plans, organising resources and weapons, fighting – but he caught her suggestion, caught the seductive note in her voice. By the twitch of Benet's eye, the Marquis had caught it too.

'Thank you, Your Grace,' Valina said, 'we will go assess the situation and keep you informed about our progress. Farewell.'

Valina left the room with a grinning Cullen on her heels.

* * *

Valina and Cullen left the horses in Benet's care. Strategically, being on foot was an advantage: they could travel quietly and quickly, without worrying about the animals getting spooked. The abandoned estate that the bandits had chosen to occupy was only three miles from the border of the D'or estate. The walk allowed them time to discuss any variables that might complicate their plans.

The road wound into the forest that surrounded the estate, the trees slowly thinning, some clearly felled recently. Although they were discussing the impending confrontation, Cullen felt warm satisfaction curling low in his stomach every time Valina's arm brushed against his as they walked. He could not wipe the smirk from his face, not when flashes of Benet's twitching eye kept creeping into his mind.

'Even if we deal with these bandits, I don't think we'll be able to convince D'or to support the Inquisition.'

Valina glanced sideways at him. 'Why are you smiling, then? Won't Josie be annoyed that we failed to secure his resources?'

Cullen cleared his throat, struggling to straighten his features. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

She smiled knowingly. 'You enjoyed that.'

He glanced at her, feeling warmth spread to his cheeks at the wicked glint in her serpentstone eyes.

Cullen sighed. 'The moment he walked in the room, he looked at you like he owned you. I've never wanted to wipe a smug smile off someone's face with my fist more than I wanted to do so to D'or but with only a few words you crushed his desires and staked your claim on _me_. It was… satisfying.'

Valina caught his arm. A smile lit her lips as she stepped closer, her gaze holding him in place. Her hands trailed over his chest, his shoulders, the cool leather of her gloves sliding across his neck. His breath hitched as she drew him closer, her lips brushing his.

'D'or tried to play the game, and he failed. I've seen people die for less than the impolite glare he gave you,' she whispered, her warm breaths falling softly against his lips, sending shivers down his spine, 'more than that, D'or knows now that any further attempts to court me will be met with swift rebuttal.'

'He won't try and–'

Valina claimed his lips, her potent kiss possessing his every thought. He revelled at the wicked flick of her tongue, a moan so deep escaping him that he hardly recognised the sound. When she drew back, she caught his bottom lips between her teeth for the barest moment, her hands cupping his cheeks.

'You're mine, Amatus, as I am yours,' she said, voice rough with the emotions that swirled in her serpentstone gaze, 'I won't let anything come between us.'

Subconsciously, Cullen knew that they had a mission to attend to, but thought fled his mind as the words caressed him, embodied through the firm touch of her hands, in the way she molded her body to his. Cullen gripped her hips tighter, suppressing the urge to pin her – or be pinned – to the very road beneath their boots.

Raucous laughter broke out nearby. Valina and Cullen froze as a feminine voice sang above the crowd, her accent lilting.

 _The bandits?_ Cullen thought through the fog of desire. He knew they were close to the estate, but they had not seen even the faintest sign of bandit activity on the road. The only person to pass them was a traveller on a lightly laden horse, a local.

Cullen glanced down at Valina, but her eyes were locked on the forest at their side. Cullen swore her ears twitched as she listened as if she were honing in on the words that he could not quite hear.

Valina grasped Cullen's surcoat roughly, pulling him in closer until their noses touched. A weight settled in his stomach when she met his gaze. Her serpentstone eyes were steady, no hint of desire remaining within them, and beneath the calm, he sensed the shadows of panic.

'Valina, what–'

She placed a firm finger on his lips, just long enough to silence his questions, and then whispered, 'you know I love you?'

'Yes.'

'Do you trust me?' she asked, glancing at the forest beside them.

Cullen tried to follow her gaze, but she turned his back to the trees.

'Cullen, do you trust me?' she repeated urgently as she pulled her mask and hood on.

'Always.'

'Take out your sword and give me your shield.'

He was surprised by the request but heeded it. Clearly, she believed they were under threat, but when she threw his shield into the cover of the trees, shrugged her dagger sheaths from her back, and thrust the harness into his hand, he simply became confused.

'Valina?'

'I'm sorry, this is going to hurt.'

'What–'

* * *

With one precise motion Valina struck the side of Cullen's forehead. His grip faltered, his sword and Valina's dagger sheaths slipping from his fingers as he swayed on his feet. His legs collapsed beneath him. She lunged forward, catching him before his head hit the dirt.

Valina glanced at the forest. The voices were louder now, the group nearing with every second. They would see her and Cullen at any moment.

She kicked dirt over Cullen and scuffed it over her clothes. She took a few deep sharp breaths until her chest heaved with effort. Just as the bandits broke through the trees, she aimed her kick at Cullen's breastplate, knowing it would protect him from the blow. Her boot hit front and centre, the force sending him rolling dramatically.

'Inquisition bastard!' she spat, dropping down to pick up her weapons. She muttered in Tevene as she pulled her daggers onto her back, making a show of dusting off her clothes.

'Hey, you!'

Valina spun toward the voice, drawing her daggers. She turned them in her hands, the motions quick and fluid. Despite outnumbering her significantly – there had to be more than twenty if not thirty of them spreading out to block of her escape – the bandits cast nervous glances between their comrades, Valina, and the shining dual-edged blades.

'You want me to drop you as well?' she asked.

'Not likely, even for you.'

Ice filled Valina's veins as a lithe woman pushed two hulking men aside. Valina had known the moment she heard that lilting laugh, but to see her in the flesh after so many years sent memories crashing over her. Valina leashed her emotions before they could overwhelm her, feeling a cold calm settle over her.

'Now now, take off your mask, my sweet,' the woman said, her onyx eyes sparkling with delight, 'there's no point hiding from me. I only know one woman who can wear leather pants so well.'

Valina used the tip of her blade to hook her mask, dragging it down. Her grasp tightened on her blades as the woman sauntered closer.

'Lina,' the woman said, her tongue savouring the nickname that Valina thought she would never hear again, 'I knew it was you. My, your eyes are so much brighter than the day we met. You are even more beautiful than I remember.'

 _I'm also a lot stronger,_ Valina thought bitterly, tired of hearing such a vapid compliment, _but hey, focus on my face, not my blades. We'll see how that works out for you._

'I can't say I'm pleased to see you, Mireille' Valina said, more bite in her words than a mabari.

Mireille pouted softly. 'No kind words for an old friend?'

'That implies that consider you a friend.'

'How about for an old lover, then?'

Valina's features hardened as her eyes trailed up and down, making sure Mireille felt the cold assessment. Valina shrugged, seeing a flash of anger in Mireille's striking onyx eyes as the moment lingered.

'I have business to attend to,' Valina said as she sheathed her blades, turning away. She dropped down beside Cullen, rolling him to his back.

'Business?' Mireille asked, her voice wavering slightly in her anger.

'None of yours,' Valina said as she tied Cullen's wrist. She gripped the cord, dragging him away from the group. She only made it a few steps before she felt the cold bite of a blade at her neck.

'Oh, Valina,' Mireille said, 'you know I can't just let you leave. This is my territory. I'm sure you can understand that I can't allow another mercenary to conduct business here.'

'Relax. It's personal business,' Valina said, sounding suitably irritated as she dropped Cullen's torso back onto the ground.

Mireille tsked loudly. 'You know I don't like liars, Valina.'

'You can't like yourself very much then,' Valina quipped, throwing a hollow smile at Mireille, 'but the fact that you're a _bandit_ now is proof enough of that.'

Mireille arched an ash-coloured brow. Valina felt the blade press closer to her neck, the cold metal drawing a hot line of blood, and she hid a satisfied smirk.

 _After all these years, I can still make you tick._

'I heard the Voclains threw their lot in with the Inquisition,' Mireille said, 'seems a shame to waste so much talent.'

Valina stifled any reaction. She knew word of her alliance with the Inquisition had spread among many of her mercenary contacts, but attempting a bluff was worth the risk. No matter what Mireille believed, Valina would lay bets that hers and Cullen's fates would be the same.

'You heard wrong.'

Mireille glanced down at Cullen. 'Then why are you with their Commander?'

Valina reached up, grasping Mireille's wrist to twist the blade away from her neck, satisfied to hear the woman's breath hitch with pain.

'Oh, this idiot?'

Mireille quirked a curious brow. 'So harsh. What has the Commander done to invoke such ire?'

'He keeps posting scouts on me, wanting to recruit me,' Valina said tersely, 'I wouldn't join based on the sole fact that their forces are so incompetent it's insulting. Killing the scouts doesn't seem to be getting the message through their thick skulls that I'm not interested in their war, so I did some scouting of my own and found out that Curly,' she waved a hand dismissively at Cullen, adopting the nickname that Varric had coined, 'would be in Sahrnia trying to win favours from the nobles. The guy was so cocky he was walking along the road alone, so I saw an opportunity and jumped him. Unfortunately, he's a Templar. I didn't find that out until he threw me half a bloody mile. He put up enough of a fight to knock me out and disarm me, but he made a mistake when he didn't kick me while I was down.'

Mireille smiled, and Valina felt a flicker of hope.

'I didn't think it possible for you to get more ruthless, my sweet. I am pleasantly surprised.'

Valina shrugged. 'Anything is possible for the right amount of money or revenge. I'm not picky.'

'I guess that will work in our favour.' Mireille's onyx gaze trailed over Valina once more, as if seeing her anew. 'I have a proposition for you. We could work together again, just like old times.'

Valina stared blankly. 'Not interested.'

Mireille raised her hand to her chest, clutching at her breast as if wounded by the dismissal. 'You haven't even heard what I have to offer,' she said with a pout, 'I'm sure you'll find it much more enticing than some petty revenge on a Templar, and much more exciting.'

'And why is that?'

Mireille could not hide the note of pride in her voice as she said, 'I've made some powerful friends recently, and they come with some powerful promises. You think you're wealthy now…'

Valina almost rolled her eyes. 'Indeed I am,' she said, bending down again to grasp Cullen's wrists and nodding as if the matter was settled, 'now, if you're done, I have a Templar to drag somewhere quiet so I can exact my petty revenge. He is a big boy, as you can see, so it's going to take me a while. I best get moving.'

Valina made it only a few feet before Mireille called out, 'oh my sweet, you don't have a choice.' She snapped her fingers and her followers moved to action. 'I don't want a scratch on the rogue,' she sang, her voice carrying over the mob.'

 _Kaffas_.

The bandits surged forth and Mireille disappeared into the crowd, her laughter carrying over the din of movement. Valina dropped Cullen again, standing over him as she drew her daggers. She glanced to her sides as the bandits began to surround her, blades singing as they were drawn from sheaths. She assessed each attacker, noting the weapons they used and the most likely fighting style, but even her critical mind knew that she was severely outnumbered. There was no way for her to fight effectively, not when moving more than a few feet from Cullen would leave him vulnerable.

She glanced down, nauseous with guilt. _It's better this way_.

The first bandit lunged at her left flank. Valina dropped low, slamming her shoulder into the man's groin and throwing him into the air. He crashed into a comrade with a yelp. Valina stabbed her next attacker in the thigh, dodged another lunge, but all too quickly the bandits swarmed around her. She planted her feet, determined to protect Cullen from any opportunistic strikes. She dispatched an eager rogue without thought, her blades sinking so deep into their chest that Valina had to kick them off her daggers. As the body dropped to the dirt, she heard feet scuff behind her.

Valina turned too late to avoid the blow. Pain exploded in her vision, a bright flare of light burning through her mind before the world went black.


	14. Caged

**Chapter Fourteen**

 **Caged**

 _The ale tasted soft and sweet, a hint of honey lingering on her tongue at the first sip. Valina placed the flagon on the bar, the amber liquid glowing under the flickering lights of the lamps. She turned sideways on her seat, looking over the late evening crowd of the inn. Farmers stumbled over clumsy feet, waitresses expertly dodged drunken gropes, and a bard sang quietly from the corner, spinning a tale that Valina had not heard before on her journey._

 _She observed the patrons quietly as she slowly drank her flagon, reading deeper into the faces and actions of the crowd. Her eyes honed in on three farmers crowded around a small table to the side of the door, their hands filled with cards. One tugged at his beard: he was bluffing. Another shifted his cards anxiously: he was confident in his hand. The third sat unusually still but for the occasional brush of his hand over his out of sight hip, his eyes focused. Not a farmer, she realised, but a conman engaged in his key stream of revenue: taking easy money from the drunk locals._

 _She turned back to the bar, reaching into her pocket to find a coin for another drink, but a slender hand grasped her wrist._

 _'_ _Next round is on me.'_

 _Valina glanced up at the whisper. Her eyes caught on a deep onyx gaze, strands of ashen hair caressing fine cheeks. A smile curved on soft lips framed by flawless alabaster._

 _A coin clinked on the bar and Valina finally blinked as the lithe stranger slid into the seat beside her._

 _'_ _You've got a keen eye,' the stranger said, glancing casually at the card players._

 _'_ _I like to watch people,' Valina said with a shrug, 'it passes the time.'_

 _'_ _Indeed it does.' Another soft smile formed a tempting curve. 'Have you been here before?'_

 _'_ _No, I haven't,' Valina said coolly._

 _The bartender was summoned by the flick of slender fingers. 'You must try their house ale then.'_

 _The bartender scurried to action. The look in his eyes as he glanced fervently at the stranger spoke volumes in fear. Valina suddenly felt bare without her daggers, tucked safely in the chest in her lodgings upstairs, but she was comforted knowing that the knife from her dinner was still close at hand._

 _Two flagons were placed on the bar. Onyx eyes studied Valina intently until she was sure her skin tingled under the gaze._

 _'_ _What's your name?' the woman asked as she took the ale in hand, her gaze never easing as she brought the flagon to her lips._

 _'_ _Valina,' she replied. She knew better than to mention 'Voclain' among such a questionable crowd._

 _'_ _Just Valina?'_

 _'_ _Just Valina.'_

 _'_ _All right,' the woman said, 'I'm Mireille. Mireille Dubois. You can call me Mira.'_

 _'_ _A pleasure,' Valina said, composing a nervous smile on her lips even though her mind whirred as she read the array of emotions on Mireille's face: mischief, curiosity._

 _Lust._

 _'_ _Travelling?'_

 _'_ _Passing through,' Valina replied, taking her own flagon in hand._

 _Mireille leaned closer. 'Me too,' she said, a sultry smile on her lips, 'where are you heading?'_

 _'_ _Sahrnia.'_

 _'_ _I've just come from there. I'm on my way to Redcliffe.'_

 _Valina felt a spark of curiosity in her gut but she quickly suppressed it. It was mere coincidence that they were crossing paths._

 _'_ _I just left Redcliffe,' Valina said, 'it is lovely this time of year.'_

 _'_ _It seems that our meeting tonight was ordained by fate,' Mireille said as she placed her flagon absently on the bar, her onyx eyes locked on Valina._

 _Valina offered a mischievous smile. 'Isn't fate just coincidence wearing a fancy dress?'_

 _Mireille laughed, melodic and sweet. 'I suppose it is. But what's life without a little mystery?' she asked, her lilting Orlesian accent strangely soothing to Valina's ears after months away from her home, 'and you are mysterious, my sweet.'_

 _'_ _I could say the same of you,' Valina replied._

 _'_ _Oh, I'm not so mysterious,' Mireille said as she placed the empty flagon on the bar. She slid from her seat, moving closer. Valina glanced down as Mireille trailed slender hands past her knees, up her thighs. When Valina raised her eyes, Mireille's onyx gaze was mere inches away, the sparkling stare filled with curiosity and fire._

 _'_ _In fact,' Mireille said as her hands met Valina's hips, her lips only a breath away, 'you'll find that I'm quite… approachable.'_

 _'_ _Is that so?'_

 _'_ _For the right kind of person, yes,' Mireille said, Valina's eyes drawn to Mireille's mouth as the tip of her tongue darted over her bottom lip, 'and you, my sweet, are most definitely the right kind of person.'_

 _Valina covered the waver in her voice, barely. 'And what kind of person is that?'_

 _Mireille trailed her lips along Valina's jaw, and Valina barely suppressed a shiver at the soft caress. Mireille's lips brushed Valina's ear as she said, 'a beautiful mercenary.'_

 _In a flash of movement Valina grasped the knife beside her hand. She pressed it hard against Mireille's inner thigh. Mireille glanced down at the blade curiously, though she did heed the threat and kept her leg still._

 _A wicked smile curled Mireille's lips. 'Right for a vein,' she whispered, gaze shining with mischief, 'my, you are something.'_

 _'_ _What do you want?' Valina's voice was ice and stone, no hint of the nervous charade she had carried before._

 _'_ _I am not here to threaten you. I simply read people too, my sweet. Is that not the job of mercenary?'_

 _Valina did not ease her grip on the knife. 'You're a mercenary?'_

 _'_ _Yes, and a rogue, though I favour the arrow over the blade.'_

 _'_ _An archer.' Valina had been warned by her client to be wary of a female archer under her estranged lover's employ, though she had never imagined that she would encounter the woman in such an intimate manner. 'Who hired you?'_

 _'_ _I have a feeling you already know,' Mireille said, and by the brightness in her eyes, Valina knew that Mireille had picked up the same strain of thought, 'it appears we've been employed by scorned lovers. That makes this a little awkward, considering I'd much rather bed you than kill you, my sweet. Perhaps though…'_

 _Valina felt a shiver roll down her spine. 'Perhaps what?'_

 _'_ _Perhaps we can both still please our clients,' Mireille said, her gaze growing heated, 'and then each other.'_

 _Valina stared into the onyx depths. She knew that she could not trust Mireille, but with her cover blown she had little choice than to play along in this dangerous game, at least for a time._

 _'_ _All right, Mira,' Valina said, placing the knife on the table again, 'I'm listening.'_

* * *

Even lying on the cold cobblestones, the world around Valina seemed to spin as she woke from the memory. Her teeth chattered loudly, shivers racking her. She dragged her eyes open, reaching up to touch the tender lump on the side of her head, cursing as pain speared through her mind.

Valina took a few deep breaths as she blinked hard, forming tears to wash grit from her eyes. A light mist formed for the briefest moment as the heat from her lungs stirred the air. The cool air was heavy in her chest. Her mouth felt dry and a bitter taste laced her tongue.

 _Drugged_.

There were many concoctions that had such a bitter taste. Without seeing the mixture herself, she could not know for sure what Mireille had given her. She had no way to know how many hours the drugs had kept her unconscious beyond the blow to her head.

Valina's eyes focused on the small room. Muted light filtered into the room between the bars of the cell, the flickering flames throwing shadows across the solid stone walls and ceiling. She rolled, the stone coarse against the bare skin of her back. She reached out, her hand scraping against the rough wall. She gripped a jagged stone, using it to draw herself up. The room spun, but not as violently as she had expected. Still, she drew her knees to her chest, propping her forehead on them until the nausea dissipated.

'Fasta vass,' she muttered, lifting her head again. She did not dare stand yet, not when she struggled even to crawl as she moved to the front of the cell. She pressed her cheek against the heavy bars, looking out into the narrow dimly lit corridor, assessing her surroundings.

 _Small cells with medium gauge bars, maybe four in total, with a narrow corridor. It's cold here, very cold._ She glanced behind her. _No windows, but probably aboveground. This must be the abandoned estate._

'Cullen?' she called, her stomach churning as she waited for a reply. She leant against the bars, crushing the panic that threatened to rise within her. She shivered, her smallclothes doing nothing to keep her warm. Although she already knew that Cullen's token had been taken from her, she touched her neck instinctively, a spark of anger igniting among her nausea and clearing the remaining fog from her mind.

'Cullen?' she called again, the word scratching her throat. A groan echoed dully nearby in answer. Valina pressed herself into the corner of the cell as she called his name again.

Panicked breaths reached her ears, followed by his stricken voice. 'Valina?'

'I'm here,' she said. She heard his breath quicken, heard him stumble towards the bars. 'Cullen?'

'Where the hell are we?'

'The abandoned estate, as far as I can tell.'

He paused a moment. 'You knocked me out.'

Valina closed her eyes. 'I know, I'm sorry. I tried to be gentle.'

'Why did you hit me?'

'It's complicated.'

Cullen was nothing if not practical. 'Short version, then.'

'It's much easier to maintain a lie when only one person has to be deceptive, and I'm sorry Amatus, but you're a terrible liar.'

He sighed. 'Fair point,' he said, his breaths shuddering through him.

'Cullen, what's wrong?'

'I…' his voice was soft, trailing. 'I don't like enclosed spaces.

Valina's mind flashed back to the escape tunnel underneath her family's estate. She had suspected then that Cullen suffered such a fear, but he had masked it well.

'I'll be fine,' he said, 'I just need a moment.'

Valina pressed impossibly closer the bars, reaching through them. Her hand found the edge of the wall that separated them. Relief rocked her when his calloused palm found hers, their fingers weaving together. Slowly he relaxed, his breaths easing as he focused on her touch.

'How did we get here?'

'We stumbled upon the bandits before we reached the scouting location.'

'They didn't kill us?'

'As far as they're concerned, they've scored a new potential ally and a bargaining chip.'

Cullen sighed. 'Maker's balls. How are we going to get out of here?' he asked, his voice steady.

'Quickly,' Valina said, withdrawing her hand from his to dip them into her smallclothes, but she uttered a string of curses as she felt nothing but the soft flesh of her breasts. Her jaw clenched. 'The _one_ day I wear smallclothes to hide a spare set of picks, and she remembered where I hide them.'

She heard Cullen press against the bars. 'You _know_ her?'

Valina grimaced. 'Remember how I said it's complicated?'

'Yes…'

'Mireille is the reason I work alone.'

Cullen doubted that was the only reason, but he wasn't going to argue the point. 'Maker's balls,' he muttered again, leaning his head against the bars, 'that's why you knocked me out.'

'Yes,' she admitted hurriedly, 'I recognised her voice. Word of my alliance with the Inquisition has travelled, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would have heard rumours. Mireille revels in chaos. The best way to deceive her was to make it look like we had been fighting, that I had grown tired of the Inquisition pestering me.'

'Why are you locked up then?'

'We didn't part on good terms. I told her I wasn't interested in her proposition, and when I tried to walk away she sent her whole force against me. She means to recruit me to her cause, whatever that is.'

'If I'd been awake–'

'You'd be dead, Cullen,' Valina said, 'there were more than twenty bandits, a much larger number than Benet calculated, and Mireille is a skilled rogue. Arguably as skilled as I am, though she favours a bow. I knew it was unlikely that she would hurt me, but if you had been awake, if she even _suspected_ that you have feelings for me, she would have–' Valina pursed her lips, her throat clenching at the thought of uttering the words.

'She would have what, Valina?' he asked, but she offered no reply. He reached for her this time, taking her hand in his. 'You can tell me, my love. I trust that you did what you thought you had to.'

She heard sincerity ring in his voice.

'Cullen, she would have killed you.'

It took him a moment to process the words, knowing that she was not exaggerating. 'Why?'

'That's the long version of the story,' she whispered, 'from a long time ago.'

'How long ago?'

Valina sighed. 'Nine years, or close enough to. I met her on one of my jobs. Two ex-lovers hired us; they both wanted the other dead. We never knew their names, or their reasons, but the gold they paid in advance was good. We had a laugh, a few drinks, did a few jobs together, and then it got… complicated.'

'Complicated how?'

The big question. 'She wanted a relationship. I didn't. I was young and restless, and I was good at being a mercenary. She knew from the beginning that I wasn't ready for a long-term commitment, and for a time she was fine with that, but then she found out who my family was, and suddenly she went from being content with being friends with the occasional benefit, to wanting an exclusive relationship. The day after she found out I'm a Voclain she professed her love for me, demanding that we get married.'

'Could… could she have thought that, maybe, you wanted that?'

'I've asked myself that many times, analysed every conversation we had, every moment we spent together… I never led her on, Cullen. We were always very clear about boundaries, and she crossed every single one the moment she tried to put me in a box in which I did not fit.' Valina sighed again. 'I tried to distance myself from her after the third proposal but she kept persisting. She got violent. Even if I _had_ wanted to marry her, she knew that it could never happen. My father would never have approved.'

'Why not?'

Valina scoffed. 'You've seen how traditional some of my father's views are. Nine years ago, some of those views were still deeply engrained in Tevinter tradition. Just as Dorian's father expected him to take a wife, my father expected me to take a husband. He has since moved on from that backward idea, but to complicate the matter further, it would have been too dangerous for us to marry. The Navorr family was still sending assassins and, at that time, it seemed there would be no end to the attempts. Even if I had loved her, I would never have risked her life like that.'

Valina leant against the bars, closing her eyes as memories bombarded her.

 _…_ _cold nights in small taverns, the fire crackling in the hearth, their bodies entwined beneath the covers, soft kisses, her fingers wrapped in ashen hair…_

Even after all these years, she could not bear to recall the final month she knew Mireille.

Valina took a shuddering breath as Cullen squeezed her hand, her voice shaking her from the memories. 'After a few months, I guess she realised that she couldn't change my mind. She tried everything, tried…' Valina shook herself, a shiver racking her body. For a moment she was pleased that a wall separated her from Cullen's gaze. 'After I es– left I took a job in Denerim. I went to sleep above a small tavern near the city and, when I woke, I found a note pinned to the bed post above my head with an arrow. I hoped it was the last I would ever see or hear from her. I have heard things through contacts: that she married a rich old noble in the Free Marches, that she convinced him to leave his fortune to her, that she burned through that substantial inheritance, and that the family attempted to have her killed as a result. Then there was a rich Orlesian widow, and the cycle repeated. But today is the first time I've seen her since I was twenty-one.'

Cullen was silent, but his hand never left hers. She held on tighter, wishing that she could see his face.

'Cullen, I know I should have told you about her, but I promise you, it never even crossed my mind that Mireille could be the bandit that's terrorising Sahrnia. All the rumours I have heard, she's moved around so much, and…' She closed her eyes, hoping he could hear the sincerity in her voice. 'I have spent so long avoiding her, I think I convinced myself I would never have to see her again, and I'm sor–'

'I believe you, Valina,' he said, squeezing her hand back, 'I do. You have nothing to apologise for. As much as the bruise on my head disagrees, I think you did the right thing. If we had approached Mireille outright, as we intended, we may both be dead now. It may not seem like it, but we have an advantage. She thinks that you're working alone.'

'Now we just have to find a way out of here,' Valina said. She squeezed Cullen's hand once more before she withdrew her touch. She used the bars to support herself as she rose to unsteady feet, intent on examining every inch of the cell, starting with the bars.

'How long do you think we've been out?'

'A while. The bitter taste in my mouth tells me we were given something to keep us unconscious. If I knew what it was I could calculate the time, but without knowing the exact concoction the variables range from a few hours to twenty-two,' she said, 'and that's before we account for the potential that we were fed multiple doses.'

'That's quite a variable.'

'I know.' Valina stifled a shiver as she moved around the small cell. 'Kaffas, it's cold. It must be night-time.'

'We're not underground?'

'I don't think so, though I almost wish we were,' she said as she moved her hands over the coarse stone of the wall between them, looking for any damage, 'at least it might have been warmer.'

'That means it's been at least seven hours.'

'We told D'or that it would take no more than a day to deal with the matter, and he expects us to return by midday tomorrow,' Valina said, 'we may have pissed him off but he's not unreasonable. If we don't return for the horses he will send for the Inquisition.'

Cullen groaned. 'Unlikely,' he muttered, barely loud enough for Valina to hear.

'Cullen, even if he didn't notify Josie, this mission was supposed to take no more than four days. We're halfway through that time already. It won't take long for Josie and Leliana to suspect that we're missing, and Josie will not be able to hide that suspicion from my mother. What do you think my parents will do first when they find out we're missing?'

'They'll go to D'or.'

'Exactly. He's the one who requested Inquisition assistance. Benet is terrified of my father. Since his failed attempts at seeking my hand, he doesn't dare risk even _irritating_ my father, so he certainly won't risk the wrath of such a powerful mage whose daughter may be in danger, not unless he's fallen into madness in the five years since I last saw him.'

Another groan. 'I hate to admit it, but you're right.'

Valina frowned at the sturdy wall. 'I'm not overly pleased by the thought that D'or might be the key to our rescue either, but it's better than nothing. Just.' She returned to the bars. 'I can't see a way to break out.'

'I guess we wait then.'

Valina scoffed. 'We haven't exhausted all avenues yet.' She pressed herself against the bars, staring down the narrow corridor. The heavy door at the end of the corridor was partially open. She watched, waiting until she saw movement in the room before she shouted, 'I'm ready to talk!'

'Valina, what are you doing?' Cullen hissed.

'Getting us out of here,' she said before returning to her shouting, 'your brutish tactics have convinced me! I am ever so curious to learn about the new friends of a madwoman. I'm sure it will be fun!'

A smile lit Valina's lips when the door swung wide. She ducked back from the cell bars. It took all her concentration in her exhausted state, but she managed to summon enough energy to disappear into the darkness. The bandit – a lanky young man with surprisingly neat hair – stopped in front of the cell. He looked deeper into the cell, his eyes scanning the back wall.

Valina appeared before his eyes as she darted forward, her hands flying through the bars. He tried to scramble back but she grasped his shirt, dragging him into the cell bars with all her might. He stumbled in her grasp and she turned him bodily, slamming his back hard against the bars. She released him as he slid down half-conscious, but only long enough to rip her smallclothes from her chest.

The bandit groaned as she wrenched his arms backwards through the bars and tied his wrists so that every time he pulled on the bonds, they would tighten. As he shook off the stupor from the attack Valina reached through the bars, her hand clamping down on his mouth, stifling his shout before it formed fully in his throat.

'Nod for yes. Do you understand?' Valina hissed, and the bandit nodded as vigorously as her vice like grip allowed. 'You know who I am?' Nod. 'Then you know I can kill you before you scream.' Nod. 'I am going to remove my hand. You may speak. Keep your answers short. If you lie, _I will know_.'

The bandit shivered at the venom in her voice but nodded again. She released her hand and, although he took a panicked breath, he did not scream.

'What's your name?'

'Mathys,' he said, his accent Orlesian, 'Mathys Baudin.'

Recognition sparked in Valina. She raked through the mass of names in her mind. 'Of the Baudin family of Lydes?'

'Yes.'

'The son of Baron Ives and Baroness Shantae Baudin,' Valina said, the information quickly clicking into place, 'how disappointed your parents must be. You sully the reputation your grandparents built. Do they know you're here?'

'How did you–'

Valina grasped his chin, leaning as close as the bars would allow. 'I'm asking the questions,' she said, nails digging sharply into the young man's skin, 'don't make me repeat myself.'

He shook his head. 'They think I'm in Val Royeaux.'

'My my, such a naughty boy. Why did you stray from fur trading? It must be booming at this time of year.'

'I thought I could make more money working for Lady Mireille.'

'So rash,' Valina chided, her hand trailing to his neck, 'your decision might just get you killed.'

'Wait!' he said, trying to move away from her hand.

Valina grasped his throat, holding him in place. 'Why should I?' she asked menacingly, 'you're no use to me now.'

'I've– I've got the keys!'

Valina held her other hand through the bars. 'What, these keys?' she asked, and the air filled with the stench of his fear as his gaze fell upon them, 'you'll have to better than that, Mathys.'

'What do you want?'

'Tell me who Mireille is working for.'

'I don't know.' Valina tightened her grip on Mathys' neck and he sputtered, 'I swear! I only joined her a week ago. She doesn't trust me to do much, it's why I'm down here on the dead shift.'

 _Night then, probably early morning_ , Valina thought, using the information to estimate that they had been unconscious for between ten and fourteen hours, assuming that a day had not passed. Valina knew that, if her estimate was correct, it would take days for help to arrive.

'When did we get here?'

'Three days ago, as of one this afternoon.'

 _No wonder I feel so weak._

They were well overdue to return to the D'or estate. There was every chance that the Inquisition had already sent out a search party for them if Benet had been quick to act, but the knowledge that they had been out for days rather than hours only raised more questions.

'Why have we been kept unconscious so long?'

'Lady Mireille is waiting for someone.'

'Who?'

'I already told you, I don't know.'

Valina loosened her grip. 'Very well, I believe you,' she said, 'I'm not going to kill you Mathys, so I need you to listen very closely for a moment. Can you do that?'

'Yes.'

'Good, good,' Valina said, 'now because I'm not going to kill you, I need to know that I can trust you.'

'I'll do anything.'

'Anything?'

He nodded vigorously again. 'Anything.'

'Okay, Mathys. I'm going to untie you. When you wake, you will go straight to the Inquisition fortress, Skyhold, and pledge your services to the Inquisition. If you don't, I will know, and I will be very displeased. I won't just punish you: I will crush your family's trade with a _single_ _letter_. I'm sure you don't want your family to suffer my displeasure.'

'They have nothing to do with this.'

'No, they don't. But I'll have no cause to write that letter if you do as you're told, will I?' He shook his head, shuddering as her hands cupped his cheeks, the touch almost tender. 'Good boy.'

The cell bars sang as Valina slammed Mathys' head back, the force knocking him out. She untied his hands, letting them fall limply. She rose quickly, unlocking the door to her cell, then darted to Cullen's.

'Valina,' he breathed, gripping the bars, desperate to be free from the small cell. When she unlocked the door he surged forward, enveloping her in his embrace. She held him so tight that his ribs ached, but he did not care. He all but crushed her head to his chest, kissing her hair, relieved to have her in his arms again. When he finally found the strength to pull back, he glanced down at her, wanting to reassure himself that she was uninjured. He cupped her face in his hands, but she winced at his touch.

'You've been bleeding,' he said as he carefully turned her head in his hands.

'I didn't get the gentle treatment,' she said, batting at his arms, 'I'm fine.'

He frowned, his hands trailing down her arms. 'No, you're not. You have a head injury and you're freezing.'

'Cullen...'

His frown deepened as his eyes fell upon her bared breasts. 'And you're missing half your smallclothes.'

She shrugged innocently. 'I had to tie him up with something, didn't I?'

Cullen arched an eyebrow at her but seemed to accept her answer. He glanced down at Mathys limp body. 'Is he…?'

'Just unconscious,' she said, taking his hand, 'he'll be out for a while.'

Cullen glanced back as she dragged him down the narrow corridor. 'Did you mean what you said?'

'Which part?'

'About his family.'

'He only needs to believe it's true.'

'That's not an answer.'

Valina stopped walking, rounding on him. 'Then yes, Cullen. I could crush his family's business with a letter.'

'But would you?'

'In this instance, no,' she said, unable to hide a note of exasperation, 'he's just a kid who stumbled into something way over his head. I'm not going to punish his whole family because he made a few poor decisions. In another set of circumstances, though, I wouldn't hesitate to do so if it achieved a necessary end.'

Cullen was silent for so long that Valina feared she had crossed some sort of moral boundary, but she would not apologise for valuing practicality over morality, no matter how harsh it made her intent seem. Her so-called skewed moral compass had saved her – and others – more than once.

A nervous smile dancing on his lips. 'Have I ever told you that you can be terrifying?'

Valina couldn't help but smile back. 'It got us out of the cell didn't it?'

'It did,' he admitted, glancing away.

'You _like_ it,' she said knowingly, a wicked smirk curling her lips. The colour that lit his cheeks answered her claim before he could utter a word. She took his hand again, marching towards the door. 'Come on, Amatus. We're getting out of here.'


	15. Fight or Flight

**Chapter Fifteen**

 **Fight or Flight**

The warmth radiating from the guard room was a beacon. Valina and Cullen entered the quiet chamber, breaking apart only so they could search for their clothes and weapons.

'If we really have been missing for days, D'or may have sent for reinforcements.'

'As much as the thought is comforting,' Valina said as she rifled through a woven basket of assorted clothes, 'I'm not sitting here and waiting for rescue. Whoever Mireille is expecting could arrive at any moment.'

Cullen heaved the lid off a heavy chest, his eyes falling upon familiar fur.

'Here,' he called, reaching in. He pulled out their clothes, hanging them over his arm. They dressed in front of the fire, warmth seeping through their chilled bones, easing some of the aches from lying in the cobblestone cells. They found a half-full jug of water and drank deeply to relieve the dryness in their throats. Food would have to wait.

Valina returned to the chest, retrieving their weapons. 'It looks like they didn't find your shield.'

'A sword will do fine,' he said, accepting the heavy weapon.

Valina strapped her daggers to her back then dug in the base. She threw the remaining contents aside – random shoes, an ornate Orlesian hat, a ragged robe – cursing freely when she emptied out the final items.

'What's wrong?'

'Someone has your token and the pin mother gave me,' she said, slamming the lid closed. The sound echoed in the room and Valina forced herself into a state of calm, taking a deep breath, her face emptying. 'We still have a mission. As you said, we have the advantage now. Let's not squander it. We need to find Mireille. I want to know who she's allied with that's so powerful.'

'Why do I have a feeling we already know the answer to that?'

Valina pulled her hood and mask on, drawing her daggers. Cullen's sword sang as it left the sheath, his footsteps echoing behind hers. They moved carefully through the old estate, Valina leading.

'It's quiet,' she whispered as they left the guardroom. She glanced around a corner, seeing only shadows cast by the soft light of lanterns.

'Everyone is probably asleep.'

Valina glanced into an open room. She moved further along, carefully nudging another door open.

 _Empty_.

She stopped by a window, leaning against the frame to look out. A faint light glowed along the horizon. Sunrise was creeping closer.

As they moved further into the estate, they heard faint voices drifting along the stone walls. Their eyes met for a moment, a nod passing between them. They made their way towards the sound of laughter and the clatter of food preparation, carefully rounding a corner.

Down the hall on the left was an open door. They heard the distant crackle of a fire. Delicious aromas curled in Valina's nose, her stomach growling, gnawing at itself in desperation. She steeled herself, fighting off a wave of dizziness as they neared the large kitchen. She leant against the wall, pressing herself into the stone as she listened.

'…Damn cultists, taking their bloody time. I'll have to mix up more of that knock-out juice.'

'You'd think we could just tie 'em up, ya know? Can't be much good them being drugged up so long.'

A third voice chimed in. 'I reckon boss lady's scared of that rogue. I ain't never seen her shy away from a fight before.'

'Didn't you see how fast she dropped Merrick?' said the second, 'Merrick was fast too, faster than us lugs, and she stabbed 'im so hard that she had 't kick 'im off her blades!'

'Well, I still would've loved to see her and the boss lady fight.'

'In your dreams,' said a fourth.

'You heard them the other day.' A mug slammed down on the table. 'They got a history, sounds like a sexy one. Plus, they're both smokin'. You can't tell me you wouldn't love to get them naked and throw them in a little mud…'

Valina glanced to Cullen, placing a finger over her lips. She disappeared before his eyes, a ripple in the air the only indication of where she had been. Cullen snatched at her but she was already gone. He had to clench his teeth to keep from calling her name as she slipped into the room, the bandits carrying on unaware.

'Course I would, doesn't mean it'll happen!' said the fourth, his accent more pronounced in his excitement, 'I also value my life. If they were fighting, everyone around them would be fair game.'

'Like David,' said the second thoughtfully, 'boss shot 'im straight through the neck an' just shrugged like nothin' happened.'

While they argued Valina looked around the kitchen. Steam curled above a kettle over the fire, the scent of strong tea wafting towards her. The four bandits sat at a heavy wooden table, two either side on sturdy benches, their focus on their conversation but for the occasional sip of a beverage or the scrape of porridge off near-empty bowls. She crept up slowly behind two of the men, waiting, listening, but their conversation was trailing off. She clutched her daggers tight.

'Well that's the boss lady, isn't it?' the third said, turning on his seat to better face his Orlesian friend, 'at least she pays us well.'

'She's still not like any other boss I've ever had,' grumbled the fourth, neither him nor his crass comrade feeling the dagger resting on their backs, 'you know she would kill us if she knew we were talking about her.'

The men uttered choked breaths as the blades slid home, their mugs clattering as they fell forward. Their comrades stared blankly as Valina appeared before them. She saw the moment they registered their reality, a deep panic seeping into their eyes.

Valina retrieved her daggers slowly, deliberately, her gaze searing them. For a moment, the three figures did not move, locked in a silent battle of the wills until the threat registered in the bandits' faces. They jumped to action too late: before they could draw a weapon from their belts Valina was upon them. She easily leapt onto the table, crouching. Blood flowed freely from their necks, coating her blades as she slashed deeply.

They slumped forward, and as their heads hit the table heavily Cullen raced into the room.

'Four bandits we now don't have to fight,' she said as she hopped down from the table. She wiped her blades absently on the bandits' backs, 'let's keep moving.'

Cullen followed her from the room. They moved further along the corridor, finding another door. It opened into a large courtyard with unkempt shrubs and weeds that wound between the flowers, fighting for the sunlight that set the sky aglow above their heads, the thick darkness of night lifting. Valina and Cullen eased through the garden, staying under the cover of an overgrown pergola.

Valina paused, scanning the windows that faced the courtyard. They were dark but for one in the far corner, a warm light glowing within.

'We're out of the servant quarters now. That's our best bet.'

'Shall we knock?'

Valina smirked. 'You're better at knocking, Commander.'

Cullen moved forward, Valina at his side. He stopped beside the door. He reached for the handle but Valina caught his surcoat, dragging him down beside her behind a shrub. She put her fingers over her lips as a rustle sounded nearby.

'A guard?' he mouthed.

She glanced around, knowing they would make too much noise if they tried to move from their cover. She racked her mind for options but saw no avenue of escape. Resolved, she gripped her daggers tight, preparing to be found.

Cullen startled beside her at the rapid flutter of wings. An owl landed on the shrub in front of them, its dusky feathers flecked with white. It stared at them with wide ochre eyes, its head tiling curiously.

Cullen breathed a sigh of relief. 'Maker's breath,' he whispered, almost embarrassed by his reaction, but knowing his exhaustion was to blame. He raised his hand, intent on shooing the creature away, but Valina grasped his wrist, holding him in place, her gaze locked on the bird.

'Don't. Move,' she whispered, her lips barely moving. The owl's head tilted further, its wide eyes watching. It uttered a soft hoot, the sound gently drifting through the courtyard, and Cullen was surprised by how intently Valina watched it the bird.

'It's just a bird, what can it–'

The owl opened its beak wide, a high pitched screech drowning out Cullen's quiet words.

Valina tightened her grip on Cullen's wrist, dragging him to the door. There was no point being quiet now; the screech would wake the entire contingent of bandits on such a still morning. Valina all but threw Cullen at the door and he kicked hard at the lock with his heavy boot. Wood splintered and hinges creaked their complaint as the door flung wide. Valina darted through the opening, hurling a dagger at the first sign of movement.

A piercing scream filled the room accompanied by the dull thunk of metal meeting wood. Mireille writhed, her hand pinned to the carved bedhead. She scowled at Valina, reaching for the dagger that pinned her hand, but Valina moved like lightning, sharp and violent. She hurled her other blade, pinning Mireille's other arm at her wrist, earning another satisfying shriek.

Valina stalked closer. Mireille's chest heaved, her onyx eyes darting wildly as Valina stepped onto the ornate bed. Mireille drew her legs up to her chest, her eyes glancing at the daggers that pierced her hands.

'Where are your friends, Mireille?' Valina asked, stepping onto the bed, standing over the trembling figure. 'You seem so lonely in this big bed. Did the cultists have second thoughts?'

Valina crouched before Mireille, holding down the leg that tried to strike her. She stared intently at the archer, catching the twitch in her lip, the faintest hint of movement that would elude even the keenest watchers, but Valina knew that twitch well. She trailed her fingers over Mireille's cheek, touch menacingly soft.

'You never could quite mask your tell,' Valina said, voice dripping with mock disappointment, 'in bed with cultists. And here I thought you couldn't sink any lower.' She tilted her head, gaze cold and calculating. 'How depressing.'

Mireille's eyes widened. 'Valina,' she pleaded, 'Lina please–'

Valina did not mask the malicious glint in her eyes as anger surged inside her. After everything, after all the horrid things this woman had done to Valina in her youth, things she had never even told her parents – after manipulations, blackmail, torture, and imprisonment – this woman still dared address her like a lover, still dared caress her name with a vile tongue.

Valina dragged her mask down. She leant closer, her voice so low that the screeching owl almost drowned her out as she said, 'you should never have come back to Orlais.'

* * *

Cullen glanced at the door. The owl still screeched in a way that he could only describe as unholy. Between the shrill squawks, he could hear shouting, the call to arms of a mob. Mireille's bandits would be upon them at any moment.

'Valina, we must go!' he urged. He saw her shoulders tense and felt the room grow heavy with her rage.

Mireille sneered. 'You _are_ with the Inquisition.'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because they asked me to join,' Valina said absently as she reached the bedside table, taking the serpentstone and dragon bone pin from its resting place. She attached it to her coat, as before, her eyes scanning for Cullen's token. 'It's amazing, the kind of help you can get when you ask nicely.'

'You picked the wrong side, Valina.' Mireille snapped, hunching her shoulders, a pained gasp falling from her lips as the daggers ripped at her hands with the movement. She held Valina's gaze. 'You still have time, my sweet. You can still join me and Corypheus will spare you.'

'Corypheus will spare no one.'

Mireille shook her head. 'He'll spare those who are loyal, and we will rise above the rest,' she said, a sickening smile on her lips, 'think of what we can do with the power of a god behind us. A knife-ear stands no chance against his power.'

Valina caught a flash of silver, her gloved hand covering Mireille's mouth, squeezing until Mireille fell silent and tears lined her onyx eyes. She tilted Mireille's head, revealing her lithe neck and the soft cord that looped around it. Valina grasped the token, ripping it from Mireille's neck. She tucked the token safely into her pocket.

Valina leant closer, holding tight when Mireille tried to turn away from her. 'I'll take my chance with the elf.'

Valina dragged her daggers from Mireille's hands. As she sank her blades into Mireille's dark heart she expected to feel a pang of regret, a silent whisper of morality that would assault her as she took the life of a woman she had once touched so tenderly, but her mind was silent. As she watched Mireille's onyx eyes glaze over in death, Valina felt a righteous serenity bloom in her soul.

'Valina!' Cullen shouted. As sword clashed behind her she dragged her eyes away, leaping from the bed as bandits charged into the room. Cullen parried, his eyes glancing to the desk at his side. He grasped the back of the chair, hurling it at the next bandit to enter the room. It knocked the bandit off his feet, continuing into the doorframe where it splintered on impact.

'Duck!'

Cullen dropped low and Valina sailed over him, planting her feet on the chest of a warrior. He fell backwards, head slamming onto the cobblestone floor. Valina ripped his shield from his arm, throwing it to Cullen.

'Remember the wall?' she shouted as she dodged a lunge for her throat. She crossed her blades, slicing the bandit's wrist clean off. As he stumbled back, screaming and clutching at his severed limb, she swept up the short sword he had been carrying.

'What does that have to do with–'

Cullen's tawny eyes shot wide as Valina threw the sword. It sailed as if in slow motion, the blade slicing through the fur on his mantle as it glided past his ear. The blade vibrated as the point struck home, and Cullen's eyes followed it to the boarded-up window, her idea sparking in his mind. Cullen did not wait: he turned sharply on his heel, knowing Valina would cover him. He sheathed his sword, quickly strapping the shield to his arm. He dropped into a run, bracing, his feet leaving the floor as he threw his full weight at the boards.

The impact vibrated through him, jarring his bones and making his teeth chatter. For a precarious moment, he thought the heavy boards would hold but the sound of cracking wood filled his ears. The boards exploded around him, splinters flying as he sailed through the window.

He tucked his body in, landing hard but easily rolling out of the fall. As he stood to his full height he turned back, unable to stop the smile that spread over his lips as Valina sprinted towards the window at full speed, somehow managing to sheathe her weapons. She vaulted over the window ledge, landing in a run, her hand grasping Cullen's surcoat as she sailed past.

They sprinted straight toward the main gate, the bandits still scrambling out the window. His lungs burned with the effort, his exhausted and deprived body protesting more with every step, but still, he ran, his eyes locked on Valina.

Valina glanced back, seeing a hoard of bandits emerging from the estate in various states of dress. 'Not as many as I expected,' she said, a hint of a smile on her lips as she glanced at him.

Cullen glanced back as long as he dared, though he did not see any reason to smile considering the mob that would soon be nipping at their heels. 'That's still more than I'd like to see.'

Valina skidded to a halt at the wall. The heavy iron gates were colossal, almost as heavy as the gates at Skyhold, but far more ornate. The bars were woven too close together for even her to slip through.

'No time to pick the lock,' she said, grasping the crossbar.

Cullen dropped his stolen shield, following her lead. They dragged themselves up and over, the bandits closing in. As soon as they were close enough they dropped to the ground, turning to the forest. They took off at a sprint, hearing the bandits' cries for a key, the scrape of some beginning to climb the fence. They did not look back, their focus on the tree line just ahead. They leapt over a fallen tree at the edge, moving deeper between the sparse trunks.

'If we can get deep into the forest, we can hi–'

Valina heard a bowstring pull tight behind her too late. Cullen cried out as the arrow pierced his calf, searing pain shooting up his leg. Valina skidded to a halt and he stumbled, his face contorted. She raced to him, ducking under his arm. She heaved him to his feet but his knee buckled. She dragged him to the nearest tree, setting him down against the sturdy trunk.

'Go, Valina. Run.' He shoved at her when she tried to kneel beside him, but Valina slapped him hard across the face, the action shocking him so much that his mind went blank, the pain in his leg almost forgotten.

'Never tell me to leave you again,' she snapped, dropping down beside him. She glanced around the tree; some of the bandits were attempting to climb the gates, others congregating behind it, waiting for a key.

Cullen groaned as she grasped his leg, turning it enough to look. Blood was already soaking the area around the arrow shaft. She ripped at his pants leg, splitting the fabric to examine the wound.

' _Kaffas_ ,' Valina snarled. The arrowhead was buried deep in the flesh of his calf. She'd only do more damage if she took it out, especially if barbs had been carved in the head. She grasped his hands, forcing him to apply pressure to the wound.

'Valina, please–'

'Don't even try it,' she said, standing to draw her blades.

'There's no point in both of us dying.'

'Who said anything about dying?' she asked, managing a vicious smile as she watched the first bandits approach. Cullen screamed her name as she disappeared.

* * *

Valina emptied her mind. Cullen's scream barely registered as she gripped her blades tighter, her eyes locked on the mob as it broke through the gate, seething like a flooded river. Their steps faltered as they scanned the trees with wide eyes, prepared to pounce on any movement. She felt the uncertainty radiate from them, tasted their fear as she breathed deeply of the cool morning air. Their leader was dead, slaughtered in her bed by the prisoners they believed were locked tight in the cells and drugged into unconsciousness: how had they managed to escape and walk through the estate unnoticed?

'Find them!'

Valina slowed her breathing, watching, waiting, a spider spinning a web for her prey as a few bandits signalled to each other their intent to disperse and cover more ground. The first to pass too close was quickly dispatched, the body dropping in a heap, any final words silenced by Valina's blades.

The nearest bandit turned at the sound, a terrified scream cut short as Valina appeared before his eyes, almost severing his head with the sweep of her daggers before slipping back into the shadows of the trees.

'What was that?'

'Show your–'

Valina slammed the daggers into their back, blood gurgling from their lips. She kicked the body off her blades. Eyes met hers, panic overwhelming the bandit for a moment before they managed to shout, 'here! She's here!'

Although she preferred stealth in a fight, she knew that more eyes on her meant less on Cullen.

Valina rushed forward. The bandit threw a heavy strike with his great sword, the clang of metal sounding in the forest as Valina crossed her daggers to catch the strike. She heaved the blade back, the bandit stumbling awkwardly, but a tree caught him before he could fall.

He ducked, barely avoiding Valina's blades. She slammed her elbow into his nose, the sickening crunch of broken bones sounding in tandem with his cry of pain, but as Valina raised her dagger to finish him she heard a bowstring pull tight once again. She looked to her side, the bandit taking aim. Valina arched her back, the feathered shaft soaring over her stomach.

Valina straightened with a sneer. She slammed her elbow into the warrior's nose again to keep him disoriented, her action absent as she focused on the archer. The archer reached into her quiver too late; Valina threw her dagger up and caught it by the blade, then hurled it into the woman's neck, earning a gurgled scream.

With the gates open, more bandits were drawn to the noise of battle, rushing through the trees. Valina sprinted for her second dagger, snatching it up. The bloodied bandit was right on her heels as she sprinted, his shattered nose causing his breaths to come in grunts. She veered off, running up a tree. Leaves rained down as the bandit slammed headlong into the truck, knocking himself unconscious as Valina launched off the bark, flipping mid-air to face the next assault.

Her lungs burned with effort, her exhausted body beginning to fail. Only adrenaline drove her, her blood pumping hard and fast through her veins, but even the chemical rush was beginning to fade.

Valina dodged the sword of her next opponent, the blade singing as it arched over her head. As she dodged, she caught movement behind the bandit, uttering a curse. She had known it was only a matter of time before she fought at a disadvantage, but when she dared take another look, she caught the distinctive colour of Cullen's surcoat.

* * *

Cullen leant back against the tree, his breath heaving from his lungs. Although he was finally standing he cursed bitterly at his leg as it throbbed with pain. He tentatively placed his foot on the ground, leaning, leaning, until his leg buckled beneath him, agony shooting up his calf.

Cullen grit his teeth, fighting the haze that wavered over his vision. His exhausted body could not take much more, but instinct clamoured within him as the clash of weapons hit his ears. His eyes darted, searching for an opponent, but no bandits had found him yet. By the sound of the fighting, Valina was doing all she could to draw attention.

Anger boiled within him as he glanced down at his leg, his pants soaked with blood from the wound. He ripped the fabric further until it came free, then hastily tied it around his leg to stem the blood flow. He wiped his slippery palms on his pants then grasped his sword tighter, easily breaking the arrow shaft until only an inch protruded from the wound.

Cullen glanced up again as the bandits' shouts filled the forest, urging their comrades on. Screams punctuated the air.

 _Valina_.

He limped as far as he dared from the supportive tree. He did not know if it was adrenaline or sheer desperation that drove him, but when he planted his foot, his knee trembled under the weight but did not buckle. White-hot pain seared his leg, but he limped again, and again, the voices louder as he approached the main fight.

He saw a bandit run straight into a tree, Valina gracefully flipping over the carnage to land on steady feet and face the next assault. His eyes fixed on her as she fought a hulking warrior. He cut down every bandit that happened to be in his path, ignoring the pain in his calf as each step jostled the arrowhead, panic rising in him as she barely dodged the hard sweep of a bandit's sword.

For a moment, he found her serpentstone gaze, her eyes wild. Valina could not help but stare as he limped forward, his bloodied sword clutched tight in his hand.

'Cullen!'

The panic in her voice made him pause, breaking his focus. He heard movement on his side and twisted as a rogue rushed at him, sharp blades almost slicing his surcoat. Cullen raised his sword and struck with all his might, cutting deep into the bandit's shoulder. The rogue screamed in pain but Cullen did not take even a moment to dispatch them, his focus returning to Valina as she crossed her blades, preparing to parry against heavy blows.

 _Too far_.

A massive shape loomed in Cullen's peripheral vision. He dragged his gaze from Valina, watching as a mammoth Qunari charged. Even at a distance, Cullen heard the sickening crunch of bones breaking at the impact, more bones breaking as the Iron Bull flung the warrior into the nearest tree. Relief slammed into him as he heard more footsteps racing through the trees, Malakar, Dorian, and Cassandra bursting into the fray.

The Iron Bull straightened for his charge, stretching to his full height. He seized his massive axe from his back. 'One down!' he shouted, a smile breaking over his lips as the bandit that had been charging towards him dropped their sword with a shriek at the sight of the hulking warrior. He glanced at Valina, still grinning as he said, 'we heard you could use a hand.'

'Focus, Bull!' Cassandra snapped.

'I am!' he yelled with a laugh as he sundered the bandit that tentatively approached, a final swing of his axe rending the man in two, 'what do you say, Seeker, think we can break a few?'

'I think we can, Bull,' she said, hiding her smile. She turned to Cullen, passing him his shield, though this time she did not hide her smile as she said, 'you dropped this, Commander.'

Cassandra retrieved her shield from her back, strapping it to her arm, charging ahead with Bull. Panicked shrieks filled the forest as lightning rained down upon the bandits, caging them, Dorian laughing as they tried to scatter, 'ha! I could do this all day!'

'Let's not,' Malakar chided as he called a blizzard down upon the forest, though the handsome elf could not hide a smile when he glanced at his lover.

The four companions took control of the battle, decimating any bandit in their path. Relief flooded Cullen; the rush was dizzying, his knees crumpling beneath him as the anger that drove him waned. He dropped his sword and shield, catching his fall with shaking hands. He clutched at his leg, teeth clenching tight, pain searing him as the adrenaline surge subsided.

Cullen heard her scuff to a halt at his side, felt her hands before he could open his eyes. He dragged them open as she grasped his face roughly, turning his head from side to side to examine him before she ripped her mask down.

'You idiot!'

Before he could protest her lips covered his own, her teeth grazing his bottom lip, the hurried flick of her tongue consuming him, but she pulled back just as quickly as she had claimed him, slapping him across his cheek.

He rubbed at his jaw. 'What was that one for?'

She clutched at him desperately and he saw panic light her serpentstone gaze. 'Fasta vass, you could have died!'

He grasped her chin. 'So could you!'

'I don't _have an arrow in my leg_!'

Cullen opened his mouth to argue the point, but she squeezed his calf pointedly, raising her eyebrow at him when he flinched.

'Okay, that might be true–'

'It certainly is.'

He sighed his frustration. 'I couldn't sit there, Valina, not when you were in danger.'

'You don't always have to protect me, Cullen.' She cupped his face again. 'You can let someone protect you, even if it just comes down to practicality.'

'It's not about…'

Valina's eyes narrowed. 'Remember what I said about chivalry?'

Cullen's mind flashed back to the battlements at Skyhold, to their heated argument, to the feel of her hand on him. He gulped, her eyes blazing as brightly as they had on that night when she had called him for his cowardice, when he had finally allowed himself to see the truth of her affection.

'Vividly,' he said, his heart kicking in his chest, 'but you'll also notice that I'm unhurt–' he grimaced as she squeezed his calf again. 'Technically, that happened before the battle.'

'You are in so much trouble when we get back to Skyhold.'

The hardness in her stare belied any flirtation. It was the same hard stare that Amira had given him when they had left for Sarhnia days before, an unspoken plea: _stay safe._ At that moment, he had given Amira a silent promise to keep Valina safe and to allow her to keep him safe in return. Icy blue eyes flashed in his memory, and his stomach sank. She nodded at the realisation that dawned in his tawny eyes.

'If you two are quite done…'

Valina and Cullen glanced up. Their companions had regrouped, the forest silent once again.

 _It's over._

Valina allowed herself to sigh with relief. 'I can't tell you how happy I am to see you all.'

'You both have some explaining to do,' Cassandra said, 'but I am glad to see that you're safe.'

Malakar crouched beside them. 'Are you hurt?'

'I'm fine. Cullen took an arrow to the leg,' Valina said, 'below his knee.'

Iron Bull and Dorian muffled a snigger, but Malakar did not seem to notice. He carefully unwrapped the makeshift bandage from Cullen's calf and bent to examine the wound. He frowned at the splintered shaft of the arrow. 'I can heal it, but that arrow has to come out.'

'Maybe we should do that somewhere–'

Cullen growled as fresh pain seared him: Valina wrenched the arrow straight back out of the wound. She held it up, glaring at him pointedly. He almost preferred the arrow to the daggers in her serpentstone gaze.

'You ran with this inside your leg,' she said.

He grimaced at her severe tone. 'Desperate measures.' He glanced to Cassandra, hoping that the Seeker would support him.

Cassandra shrugged. 'Do not give me that look, Commander. Valina is right; you were reckless and stupid. Brave, but still stupid.'

Cullen sighed. 'Inquisitor, please…'

Malakar raised his hands above the wound and Cullen felt his skin tingle as it began to knit back together. He clenched his teeth as the wound grew hot but just as quickly as the pain had spiked it subsided, replaced by a strange numbness. His leg still ached, but so did the rest of his body. Exhaustion was rapidly catching up.

Malakar rifled in the pouch on his belt. 'You're going to want to drink this. It will help with the pain and healing in your muscles.'

Cullen took the phial from the mage, ripping the cork out with his teeth. The potion wasn't pleasant to drink but it worked quickly, soothing the worst of the pain in his leg and throughout his body.

Iron Bull offered his hand to Cullen. Cullen accepted, allowing Bull and Valina to help him to his feet. He bent to collect his weapons, sheathing his sword and hanging his shield over his back. He was relieved to feel steady again. Valina remained at his side, wrapping her arm tight around his waist. He clutched her closer.

Her gaze was weary. She had escaped injury, but the physical toll of the fight after days of imprisonment had tested the limits of her strength. He felt the warmth of pride bloom in his chest as he stared down at his fierce rogue because, despite it all, she smiled up at him as she said, 'let's get out of here.'

Cullen glanced back to the old estate, catching a glimpse of the carnage left behind. 'That's the best idea we've had all day.'


	16. Friends and Foes: Part One

**Chapter Sixteen**

 **Friends and Foes: Part One**

 _D'or Estate_

 _Sahrnia, Orlais_

The walk back to the D'or estate was slow. Even after Malakar's healing and a potion, Cullen's strength was failing. Valina was faring no better, the adrenaline of the battle worn off entirely. Although unscathed, her bronzed skin was ashen, her eyes dull and unfocused. She clung to Cullen so hard that in some moments he was all that held her upright.

Benet meet them at the door to his house, his stormy eyes churning when they fell upon Valina. Cullen bristled when Benet glared at him; the Marquis was raring for a fight, to renew the testosterone fuelled battle they started days before, but Cullen would not take any bait that D'or dared throw at him. It would be hard for the Orlesian to play a game in which Cullen refused to take part with anything but a solid fist if the opportunity arose.

 _When_ the opportunity arose.

'Valina!' Benet cried as he rushed forward, intending to take Valina's other side.

Cassandra ducked under Valina's other arm to assist her up the steps, blocking Benet's advance. Cassandra glanced at Cullen, sensing the tension between him and Benet. 'You will address her as her title demands,' Cassandra said coolly, throwing a pointed glare at the Marquis as they entered the estate.

'Of course, forgive me. I have forgotten my manners,' Benet covered quickly, 'Lady Voclain is an old friend. I have been beside myself with worry these last few days.'

'Then you would do well to show us to a room, Your Grace, so that she might rest.'

If Benet was angered by Cassandra's curt words, he hid it well. Even he knew better than to challenge a member of Nevarran royalty – no matter how far down the succession line – and especially when she was within reach of a sword.

Benet led them up to the second floor, past his study, to a lavishly appointed guest quarters. Malakar, Dorian, and the Iron Bull stayed at the door, though concern tugged at their brows. When Benet tried to follow their companions into the room, Bull placed a gentle hand on Benet's shoulder. If the weight of his massive arm did not convey the message clearly enough, the fact that Malakar closed the door behind the trio certainly did.

Cullen and Cassandra sat Valina on the edge of the mammoth bed, helping her shrug off her weapons and coat before allowing her to lay back on the plush pillows.

'Your horses are here, but Marquis D'or said you had not stayed. Where is your gear?' Cassandra asked as she hung Valina's coat over the end of the bed.

'Still in a cave, a short ride from here,' Cullen said.

'We expected to return to it in the evening,' Valina added as she sank further into the pillows.

'Why did you not just stay here if the Marquis was willing to accommodate you?'

'We camped in the cave the night before we met with the Marquis. As for not arranging accommodations here after that…' She shrugged. 'That's a complicated story that I will be happy to tell you after a few hours of rest. We were heavily drugged, Seeker, and after a significant fight and a miles-long hike I am not up to conveying it.'

Cassandra's eyes softened. 'Very well. We will retrieve your belongings.'

Valina gave the seeker more precise directions to the cave, then asked, 'Can you have someone to stay by the door?' At Cassandra's raised eyebrow, Valina added, 'I doubt I will wake as easily as I would normally, so it will make me feel better knowing that we are not alone.'

'All right, I will ask Bull to stay. In the meantime, I suggest you both get rest.'

'Thank you,' Cullen said.

Cassandra gave them both a curt nod before she turned away. She slipped through the door, closing it firmly behind her. Through the heavy frame, Valina could hear muffled voices talking, but she was too exhausted to focus on them.

Cullen shrugged off his surcoat, draping it beside Valina's coat. He stripped his armour as quickly as his tired fingers allowed and kicked off his boots, wearing only his shirt and his now worse for wear pants. He climbed onto the bed. Valina protested when he lifted her calf onto his knee to unlace her boots, but he quickly stripped them from her feet and laid her legs back on the mattress.

'Cassandra told us to rest,' Cullen said as he laid beside her, 'it will take time to retrieve our gear, so we may as well sleep until they return.'

'I know, but all I want is a bath,' Valina said with a grimace, 'I feel disgusting.'

'I will wake you up by placing you in a steaming tub then,' Cullen said, wrapping his arm tight around her waist to draw her back to his chest, 'for now, sleep, my love.'

'Fine, Amatus,' she said reluctantly, though she did snuggle back into his embrace.

He swept a few stray strands of hair back from her face, placing a soft kiss on her cheek before he nestled in behind her. When her breathing had eased into the deep rhythm of sleep, he allowed his eyes to close, his mind quickly drifting into slumber.

* * *

Cullen woke to a heavy knock on the door, as he had days earlier. He struggled to drag himself from his heavy slumber, his mind foggy with sleep and the lingering exhaustion of the drugs and escape. Cullen rubbed at his tired eyes with a yawn. His bones ached with every movement, and muscles that he had forgotten existed protested about being put to work when he sat up. He shook off the fog, glancing down at Valina as she stirred. She woke for only a moment before slipping back into oblivion. Cullen eased slowly off the bed, his bare feet quiet on the polished floor. He glanced back at Valina, ensuring she still slept before he cracked the door open.

'Did I wake you, Commander?' Cassandra asked, meeting his tired gaze through the gap.

Cullen glanced down the hall. Satisfied that no one else was nearby, he cracked open the door further. 'Yes, but that's probably a good thing.' He rubbed his aching temple. 'I feel like I've slept an age.'

'We were gone for some time,' Cassandra said, heaving two packs towards the door, 'I'm glad you were able to rest. Here is your equipment.'

'Thank you,' Cullen said as he took the heavy bags from her, leaning them against his legs, 'how long were you gone?'

'About six hours. We did some scouting on our way to the cave and also returned to the estate the bandits were squatting in. We did a quick sweep; if any bandits survived, they are long gone,' Cassandra said, 'Dinner will be served soon, also. I dare say you both need a good meal.'

Cullen felt his stomach clench at the words, his insides gnawing at themselves. 'Yes, that would do us good I think. After days on the floor of a cell, I think a bath might be in order first.'

'Benet boasted about his excellent heating systems. I will put it to the test and direct him to have your bath prepared for you.'

'Thank you.'

'We will debrief after dinner.'

Cullen sensed a note of displeasure in the Seeker's voice but was too exhausted to care. Whatever bothered Cassandra could wait until he ensured Valina was rested, refreshed, nourished.

'Of course,' he said, 'thank you again.'

'I'll leave you to get sorted.'

Cassandra turned toward the staircase. Cullen dragged the packs into the room, kicking the door closed. He leant the heavy bags against the end of the bed. When he glanced up at Valina, a smile tugged at his lips; she still slept soundly, but had rolled over, her arm wrapped tight around the pillow which his head had left only moments before.

Cullen gathered a change of clothes for each of them and laid the garments over the bed. Keeping his steps quiet, he moved to the adjacent bathroom and ducked his head through the door. He startled when his feet touched the stone floor, surprised to find the polished surface warm. As he marvelled at the temperature, a slow trickling sounded from a pipe above the ornate metal tub. The trickle quickened, growing louder until steaming hot water poured through a pipe at the end of the bath. Cullen would never admit to D'or that he was impressed at how quickly the tub filled, the room warming until steam clung to the walls, streaks of moisture dripping down to the polished floors. He was sure it would inflate the Marquis' ego to bursting.

Cullen ducked back into the bedroom and stripped his ragged clothes. He slowly stripped Valina's pants and smallclothes from her legs, ignoring her weak protests. She was unwilling to wake fully but he managed to lift her enough to strip her shirt. He gathered her in his arms, carrying her to the tub.

When her toes dipped into the water, her eyes flew open. He eased her into the tub, almost flinching at the intensity of the heat, but when he placed her into the depth of the tub he heard what could only be described as a purr vibrate through her.

Valina stretched languidly, her eyes fluttering closed once again. 'I'm dreaming,' she said as she leant back into the blistering water until only her face was uncovered.

'I told you I would wake you up by placing you in a steaming tub,' Cullen said, coaxing her up so he could slide in behind her. He gently pulled the tie from her hair, dropping it to the floor beside the tub. Dark strands cascaded down and he combed his fingers through the drenched mane, gently relieving a few tangles.

'And you delivered,' she sighed, leaning into his touch.

Cullen reached for the soap dish, working the bar into a lather in his hands. He massaged the lather through her hair; it was not her usual rose-scented soap or oil that teased his senses, but there was soft and soothing floral note to the aroma that slowly blanketed the steamy room.

'You spoil me, Amatus.'

'Do I?' he asked as he washed the lather from her hair, the silken strands sliding between his fingers as he combed through the length.

'Absolutely.'

A smile curled on his lips. 'Lean forward.'

Valina glanced over her shoulder at him but obliged. He lathered the soap again, placing it aside before he turned his attention to her body. He started at her shoulders, the slick suds allowing him to massage every inch of her bronzed skin as he moved along her arms, then down her back. He worked out the hard knots at her shoulders and her hips, soft mewls escaping her as he eased the aches in her muscles. Cullen was relieved to see that rest had relieved some of the ashen tones to her skin, but a dullness clung to her glowing complexion.

'Cassandra said that dinner will be served soon.'

'Thank the Maker. I'm so hungry I feel ill.'

Cullen washed the suds from her skin, preparing to climb from the tub, but Valina turned to face him. Strong, nimble fingers grasped his shoulders, keeping him in place.

'Your turn.'

'It can wait. You need to eat.'

'A few minutes more won't matter, Amatus. Besides, you're covered in dirt and blood. As much as I might find this ruggedness attractive, you won't hear the end of it from Dorian. That mage can smell a fashion disaster a mile away.'

Cullen sighed. When he ran his fingers through his hair, he was surprised to find it matted in some places: indeed he was covered in dirt and blood.

'We also can't have Benet thinking that he's better looking than you just because he deems a little dirt under the nails as barbaric. I won't stand for it.' She smiled mischievously. 'Which is why I think you should also wear your armour. The Commander of the Inquisition should not appear underdressed for dinner. Benet might forget his manners again.'

A part of Cullen's mind demanded he tend to her needs, but another was filled with vicious smugness at the knowledge that she wanted to show him off. He could never doubt her love for him, but knowing Valina wanted to put Benet in his place as much as he did after the Marquis fawned over her on their return was satisfying in a way he could not describe.

Cullen dipped his head under the water at her instruction, allowing her to lather the soap through his hair. Grit and grime were lifted, the matted strands softening to their natural wave and returning to their golden colour. When Valina was finished with his hair she cleaned his body, massaging his aching muscles just as he had massaged hers. They had bathed together before, but never had a moment felt as intimate as it did then, enveloped in the warmth and weight of the steam in the air that was stirred by their quiet breaths. He felt his strained body relax at her touch, his eyes locked on her beautiful face. A soft smile warmed her lips as she worked knots from his arms, his mind captivated by her tenderness.

Valina washed the soap from his body, her hands sweeping over his skin slowly, her caress lingering with her affection. Cullen shook himself from his reverie when she rose on her knees, her arms twining around his neck as she leant into his waiting embrace.

'Feel better?' she asked with a knowing look.

'Much,' he admitted, his lips answering her smile, 'I just hope I don't look too scruffy. I've not shaved for days.'

'I think it suits you, Commander,' she said as she cupped his cheek and trailed her fingers along the thickened stubble on his jaw, 'though I wouldn't suggest growing a beard like Blackwall anytime soon. It tickles far too much in sensitive places. And I enjoy the stubble more. It's part of your charm.'

Valina claimed Cullen's lips. Her kiss was soft, searching, filled with a smouldering passion that words could not express. When she drew back, resting her forehead against his, he was breathless, weightless with elation that they were together and safe.

'We should go to dinner, my love,' he said, catching her serpentstone gaze, her eyes filled with warmth. He wanted to ignite the spark that lay in her gaze, but he feared pressuring her after their distressing capture and escape, and he could not continue to deny the clamouring in his mind that demanded he tend to her needs, namely her growling stomach.

'We should,' she sighed.

Cullen placed a soft kiss on her forehead before extracting himself from her arms and rising from the tub. He helped her out of the bath; her footing was still unsteady, and the metal sides were tall even for him. He ensured she was dry then wrapped her in the towel for warmth before he dried himself. She did not protest as he ushered her back to the bed to dress, the thick material up around her ears as she clung to the warmth of the bath.

While she dressed in soft leather pants and a stunning fitted green tunic that matched her eyes, Cullen dressed in a fresh and unscathed pair of pants. As suggested, he donned his full armour and his surcoat, finding the weight reassuring. He smoothed back his hair but a stubborn piece fell over his forehead no matter how much he tried to train it.

'There's my handsome Commander,' Valina said, grasping his surcoat. She drew his lips to hers, her kiss still tender. Her tongue teased his lips and he was helpless but to surrender to her. He fought the urge to grasp her hips tighter, to slide his hands around her waist and lock her in his arms.

'My love…' Cullen whispered against her lips.

Valina sighed. 'I know.'

It took all his strength to draw away from her embrace. She slid her hand into his, entwining their fingers as they walked to the door and down to dinner. They followed the voices of their companions and the sweet smell of delicious food to the large dining room on the lower floor. Flickering candles lit the room, casting slow shadows over the table.

They entered the room, and Valina felt her stomach drop, churning with rage rather than hunger in that moment. There were only two empty chairs at the table, one on each side of Benet who sat at the head. He glanced up as Valina and Cullen, his smile dropping when his eyes fell upon their joined hands. He quickly covered his anger, his smile returning as a smirk as he glanced at the seats beside himself.

'And here they are!' Benet said, rising to greet them formally, 'I'm so pleased to see you both up and about. You were in such a state this morning when you returned. Come, sit. You must be starving.'

'We are, Your Grace, thank you,' Valina said with a curt nod. She squeezed Cullen's hand reassuringly as they approached the head of the table, splitting up only at the last second to take their seats. Servants rushed to their sides, placing steaming plates before them. Valina's stomach growled in earnest, her hand almost shaking with excitement as she lifted her fork.

The first bite was bliss. She heard voices around her, but no words registered, her focus dedicated to the plate in front of her as she devoured her first meal in days. Her stomach churned sickeningly with the sudden intake but she was too hungry to care. She masked a sneer when Benet dared to address her directly, trying to draw her attention away from the meal.

'Lady Pentaghast has informed me that you dealt with the bandits in the abandoned estate.'

'That is correct,' Cullen said, deflecting the question to allow Valina to gulp down a few more morsels, 'they will no longer be an issue for you and the citizens around Sahrnia.'

'And so my resources and the strength of Sahrnia will be at your beck and call. I am so relieved to see you safe,' Benet said, his stormy gaze locked on Valina as if she had spoken the words, 'how did they manage to capture you? I thought you were going to scout?'

Valina swallowed hard, masking her irritation again. 'We encountered the bandits on the road suddenly, before we reached our planned scouting location,' she said hurriedly, 'unfortunately, the force was under the command of a mercenary of similar skill and proficiency to myself, a woman I have encountered before. There was little to be done but allow ourselves to be captured and await an opportunity to escape, which would have come much faster had we not been heavily drugged.'

Benet clutched his chest, a little too dramatically for Valina's taste. 'Drugged?'

'Until this morning,' Valina said, 'it was potent, whatever it was.'

'That must have been a terrible ordeal. I'm glad that I was able to send for the Inquisition the moment I suspected you were in danger,' Benet said, 'I knew it was unsafe to send just the two of you, Valina. You should have requested reinforcements and stormed the estate.'

Valina grit her teeth, masking her anger as he echoed his previous sentiments that Inquisition troops should have been endangered for his benefit.

That Valina was not enough.

 _He would see me dressed as a doll and placed on his mantle if he had the chance_ , she thought. More infuriating, though, was that he acted as if he had been the one to rescue them personally.

Before Valina could tear his words to pieces Cassandra said, 'with all due respect, Your Grace, _Lady_ Voclain and Commander Cullen could never have predictable that they would encounter such a large force of bandits on the road in broad daylight.'

'I merely mean to say that it was poorly planned,' Benet said, arching his eyebrow in challenge.

'Lady Voclain and Commander Cullen made a strategic call to investigate a low-level threat rather than to call Inquisition forces away from other duties on a whim, and although their capture was unfortunate, it was still the correct call to make given the information which _you_ provided us.'

'You might recall, Lady Pentaghast that I stated in my letter that the bandits were not the usual sort of ruffian that prowls Sahrnia.'

'And you might recall that we are in the middle of a war,' Cassandra quipped, 'there is nothing _usual_ about the rifts and cultists creating chaos throughout Thedas. There was no reason to believe that two of the Inquisition's most formidable members could not handle a group of bandits, especially when we have little manpower to spare to answer every whim of nobles.'

Although Valina had little contact with the Seeker – their longest discussion had been about Cullen's lyrium withdrawal – Cassandra was quickly becoming one of Valina's favourite people.

'We shall have to agree to disagree, Lady Pentaghast.'

Cassandra did not bend at Benet's stormy glare and he visibly bristled at her challenge. 'So we shall.'

The dining room fell quiet, unease settling over the guests at the exchange. Valina took the opportunity to return to her meal, desperate to sate her hunger. Her stomach was settling, the warmth of the meal relieving the last of her exhaustion.

As Valina ate she glanced at her companions. Cassandra offered a curt nod from further down the table. Across from her, Dorian and Malakar were locked in the silent exchange of lovers desperate for a moment alone, sneaking glances and smiles. The Iron Bull nudged her then rolled his eyes dramatically at the Marquis, making a smile dance on her lips.

Valina's gaze fell on Cullen. He kept his eyes on his meal but his shoulders were strained beneath his armour, his body coiled to fight. He would strike Benet, given an opportunity. Valina suspected that chewing too loudly would be enough to seal Benet's fate; even from across the wide table Valina could feel wrath rolling off him, heavy and thick as it filled the room.

Benet cleared his throat, and Cullen's arm twitched eagerly.

'Perhaps we should discuss a lighter topic,' Benet suggested, and Valina felt his stormy eyes on her again, 'tell me, Valina, how are your parents?'

'Quite well,' Valina said.

'They've joined you at the Inquisition?'

'Yes.'

'Their support has been invaluable,' Malakar said, peeking around Dorian.

'Truly?'

Valina bristled at Benet's arched eyebrow and the grimace that lit his lips as he glanced dismissively at Malakar, but she kept a polite smile on her lips as she said, 'truly.'

'That's such good news. It's been so long since I've had the pleasure of their company in my home,' he said, smiling as if recalling fond memories.

Valina nearly snorted. The last time Benet and Dranus had been in the same room – sometime around Valina's nineteenth birthday – Dranus had made it clear that incessant attempts to court Valina would be met with equally incessant fireballs.

'I would be honoured to have you and your family join me for dinner one evening. It is a short trip from the fortress, after all, and I have many rooms to spare. You could stay in comfort, and ride back in the morning if you wished to depart.'

'I'm afraid the Inquisition keeps us terribly busy,' Valina quipped, ignoring his suggestion, 'what with this war and all.'

'Of course. Perhaps once the war is over?'

Valina masked her grimace. Although she wanted to carve _NO_ into his forehead so that the word might sink in for once, she managed a polite, 'perhaps.'

Valina glanced over at Cullen when she heard metal creaking. He stared absently down at the fork in his hand, and at that moment Valina thought he might be imagining it buried in Benet's throat, but he released his vice-like grip with shaking fingers. He placed the bent flatware on the table, his gaze darting, tawny eyes finding Valina. They shared their frustration at D'or's persistence, but they had already risked the alliance by playing the game rashly. Apart from brushing off Benet's advances, there was little they could do without jeopardising the fledgeling agreement and losing much-needed access to precious mining and agricultural resources.

Valina pursed her lips, hiding her laughter. Cullen's lip twitched in a nervous smile as he swept the fork beneath his napkin. For a moment, she dove into distraction, losing herself in his tawny gaze. She longed to feel the simple touch of his leg against hers, the playful caresses like those they shared beneath the tables at Herald's Rest as fingers danced across thighs.

Dorian glanced at Valina, then nudged Cullen's arm, drawing the Commander into talk of the morning's battle; he had noticed Cullen's building rage too. As much as Valina was glad that Dorian could distract Cullen from his frustration, if only for a moment, Valina ached at the loss of his gaze. She enjoyed watching flecks of gold light his irises as they lingered in the other's eyes. She was so desperate for contact that she swore she could feel his hand on her knee, the firmness of his reassuring grip as if he was determined never to let her go.

Valina froze as fingers caressed her inner thigh. She glanced down at the hand on her leg, her stomach churning as she stared at slim digits tipped with immaculate nails. She grasped Benet's hand, stopping its advance up her leg. He strained against her hold and their eyes locked. His smile turned sickly, his thumb caressing her, challenging her to remove his hand. He was playing the game, and he'd just upped the stakes.

'D'or–'

He bared his teeth in a malicious grin. 'Move my hand, Valina, and the Inquisition loses its precious resources,' he hissed, his voice low, hardly loud enough over the chatter in the room to reach Valina's ears.

'You've already agreed to terms.'

'The alliance is in word only,' he whispered, 'I'll break it in a moment.'

Valina tightened her grip on his hand, pushing it back an inch. 'Then I'll break you.'

'No, you won't. You won't risk those precious resources. They are so hard to come by in a war, after all.'

'Why are you doing this? How many times must I–'

'You should be _mine_ ,' he said, his voice almost a growl, 'you've denied me too long, Valina. If the Inquisition wants my resources…'

She saw the threat etched in his face before he said the words, but she had never believed he would resort to such vicious tactics. Her thigh ached at his grasp. She clutched tighter at his hand, trying to will him to release his grip.

Darkness flared in Benet's gaze when she pushed at his hand, an anger deeper than she had ever seen in the stormy swell as he said, 'I will trade them only if you agree to marry me.'

Valina grit her teeth, trying once again to push Benet's hands away, but she felt a wash of dizziness over her as she strained, her body still weakened from confinement.

'And I shall continue to deny your delusions,' she said, 'I will _never_ be yours.'

Benet dug impossibly harder into her thigh with sharp fingers, his grip bruising already tender skin as he hissed, 'you don't want to cause a scene, Valina.'

She hardly registered the pain as white hot fury surged inside her belly, a vicious smile lighting her lips. 'Oh Benet,' she said, voice dripping with malice, 'you don't know me at all.'

Benet's stormy eyes dulled as she curled her grip around his middle finger. His scream rent the air as she snapped the digit back, a sickening crunch sounding as it broke under her assault. Benet wrenched his hand from her grasp, his chair clattering as he stood up. He clutched his hand to his chest, his tall frame shaking as he stumbled back a step. He stared at her anew, as if seeing her for the first time, his grey eyes wide with fear.

Silence weighed heavily in the room until only Benet's rapid, pained breaths could be heard. Valina felt the stunned gazes of her companions on her as she placed her hands on the table before her, pushing back against it to rise.

'I've had enough,' she said, turning towards the door.

As she left the dining room she heard the flurry of movement break out in her wake, heard Cassandra instructing Malakar to heal Benet's hand, heard armour clinking as Cassandra and Cullen hastened towards the door.

Valina was already halfway up the stairs when Cassandra caught up, Cullen on her heels. Valina paused as footsteps fell on the stairs behind. She turned, staring back down the few steps. It took Cassandra a moment to compose herself as she met Valina's icy gaze, but, to her credit, the Seeker did not back down.

'Shall we debrief now?' Valina asked, her hollow voice echoing in the hall. She saw Cullen suppress a shiver at the emptiness in her words: the tone held no fond memories.

Cassandra nodded her head subtly, her jaw tight. Valina watched her stalk towards their quarters, hearing Cassandra bite out a disgusted noise as she stormed past.

Cullen approached tentatively. 'Valina?'

She reached for him instinctively, her eyes still focused on the door Cassandra had disappeared through, the door to her and Cullen's quarters. She stared absently, her face blank. 'There's no point explaining it twice,' she said.

Valina and Cullen followed Cassandra's angry steps along the hall, closing the heavy door behind themselves. Cassandra waited at the desk, her arms folded, her jaw set as she stared down at the tabletop. When the latch clicked, she met Valina's gaze once more.

'What in the name of the Maker was that?'

'Diplomacy at its finest,' Valina said.

'I am in no mood for humour,' the Seeker said, her lips twitching as she fought to retain her composure, 'your mission was to defeat the bandits and secure an alliance from the Marquis.' She paced behind the desk. 'Your actions have cost us a valuable supply of resources at a vital time in the war. His mines alone–'

'Benet had no intent to keep his word. He was never going to ally with the Inquisition, even after we cleared up the bandits.'

Cassandra stopped mid-step. 'What? We were to sign the requisite documents _tonight_ –'

'And in those documents, D'or planned to add a clause, a trade, one that the Inquisition would never have been able to satisfy.'

'We have numerous other resources which would be valuable to him, surely we can come to some sort of–' Valina shook her head sharply, and Cassandra let out an exasperated noise. 'What could the Marquis possibly demand that would cause you to break the man's finger?'

'Me.'

The room was thick with the silence. Valina could see Cassandra's thoughts as they played across her expressive face: confusion in the firmness of her brow, frustration in the hard line of her lips, anger in the tick of her jaw as she processed the weight of the word in the space of seconds.

'I don't understand,' Cassandra said finally.

'I am part of the Inquisition, part of your resources–'

'Valina, you are not a resource–'

Valina raised her hand. 'I know Cassandra, I know, but Benet's family history is ingrained in trade, much like mine. He has the same mindset that many nobles have, and, as I'm sure you know, the way alliances are often formed between noble houses only reinforces that mindset. To Benet, my skills and familial connections are a resource that can be utilised – for example, in ridding a region of bandits – and, because I joined the Inquisition, I am therefore an Inquisition resource.'

'I still do not follow. You are a person, you cannot be traded…' Cassandra trailed off. She leant on the desk, exhaling a sharp breath as the realisation hit her. 'He intends to demand your hand in marriage.'

Valina tightened her grip on Cullen's hand. 'Yes,' she said, and she wrenched Cullen back to her side when he attempted to stalk away, as she had expected.

'When did you realise this?'

'He made it quite clear when he grasped my thigh under the table,' Valina said, 'although his attempt to blackmail me, thinking that I would not make a scene during dinner, was what really gave him away.'

Cassandra scowled. 'I believe he is lucky you did not break his arm.'

Valina managed a smile at the Seeker, though it did not touch her eyes. 'That's what I thought.'

'There's still plenty of time to rectify the lenient treatment,' Cullen muttered, still straining against Valina's hold.

'What would make him think we would agree to that?'

'I don't know, Cassandra. He was once considered a potential suitor for me before I was eighteen, but my parents eventually turned him down. They couldn't bear the thought of deciding such an important part of my future when they had gone against their families' wishes so they could be together. Before this week, I had not seen him for five years. I thought he would have given up on the idea by now.'

'Apparently not,' Cassandra said. She rubbed her temples, then dropped her hands again. She was running in circles now, and she knew it, but she needed to cover all bases. 'Is there any reason D'or might think that he still had a chance?'

'No. Cullen and I made it quite clear that I was off limits in our initial meeting with him. The fact that I addressed Cullen as amatus in front of Benet made it clear enough. He is well aware of the meaning of the word. But, to be safe, and, if I'm honest, because it was satisfying to irritate Benet, we also implied that our relationship was more than platonic.'

'How?'

'By suggesting that I'm a screamer,' Valina said flatly, 'in more elegant terms, of course.'

Cassandra slumped into the chair, her anger falling away. 'I would propose that we depart for Skyhold this very moment, but it is quiet downstairs. Malakar has a way with people. Our departure should be able to wait until morning, as long as we pacify him. Somehow.'

'I'll ensure he's pacified,' Cullen muttered. He glanced down at Valina's hand, though he did not try to break her hold.

'What, by beating him up?' she asked.

Cullen grit his teeth, darkness clouding his tawny eyes. 'He deserves it, Valina. I'll break the arm he dared lay on you.'

'Trust me, Cullen, he knows the risks of playing the game and the defeat he's suffered at my hands is more humiliating than any punishment you could mete out. Even if the Inquisition loses the resources, throwing us out would be seen as acknowledging his failure twice, and, as you know well, the court is vicious.'

'I still _want_ to.'

Valina grasped his chin in her hand. 'And I would love to see you break him, Amatus, but I am also not fit enough to return to Skyhold this eve in the cold. As much as I hate to say it, we need to placate him enough to keep a roof over our heads for one more night.'

Cullen's gaze still swirled with shadows but his face softened. 'I'll talk to him.' Valina arched an eyebrow at him and he reluctantly added, 'with Malakar present.'

'Commander,' Cassandra said, waiting until Cullen dragged his eyes away from Valina before continuing, 'as Valina said, you only need placate him. We will have some explaining to do when we return to Skyhold, but on principle alone, on the fact that he senselessly thought we would value a person less than material resources…' She scowled. 'I think Josephine would be quite happy to sever any connections to D'or.'

Cullen offered a curt nod. When Valina released her hold on his arm he turned sharply on his heels and stormed towards the door.

Valina sighed, moving to the seat opposite Cassandra. 'Benet is a dead man.'

'I do not doubt that.' Valina rubbed at her leg absently. Her thigh ached, but she was satisfied in the knowledge that Benet's pain had been worse, even if it was brief. 'I suppose we should discuss what happened at the estate.'

'Yes, we should.'

There was a hardness in Cassandra's tone that made Valina suspect that the Seeker was displeased, but that was not surprising, considering the carnage left in the wake of their escape and the failure of the alliance with D'or.

'Where would you like to start?'

'From your initial meeting with the Marquis.'

Valina recounted the specifics of the meeting, including the final terse exchange, then detailed the events on the road.

Cassandra sat forward. 'You _attacked_ the Commander?'

Valina had expected the reaction. 'I used a strategic strike to knock him unconscious,' she corrected, 'if you'll let me finish, you'll understand why.'

Valina could sense Cassandra's doubt, but the Seeker nodded, waiting expectantly.

'As you stated at dinner, we had no warning but the sounds of their approach. I recognised a voice, that of Mireille Dubois, a mercenary. Word of my alliance with the Inquisition has travelled, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would have heard rumours. I knew that the best way to deceive her was to make it look like Cullen and I had fought. I convinced Mireille that it was a personal vendetta, that I had grown tired of the Inquisition pestering me, and stalked Cullen while he was recruiting in Sahrnia with the thought that I would send a message to the Inquisition with his blood.'

'And it worked?'

'It did. Too well, actually. Mireille thought to recruit me. When I refused, she decided to take me by force.'

'Recruit you to what?'

'She claimed to have made powerful friends, that they would be interested in meeting me also. She mentioned Corypheus explicitly, so it's not a leap to assume she had Venatori contacts.'

'Are you sure?'

'I would not be surprised. Mireille was certainly the type to make such an alliance without consideration of the consequences if she deemed it sufficiently profitable.'

'We'll post some scouts at the estate and have them scour every room. If anyone arrives seeking Mireille, we will know. As for Mireille herself, perhaps the Chargers can find her. We should compile a likeness of her if you can describe her.'

Clearly, the Seeker believed Mireille had escaped.

'Pale complexion, lithe figure, ashen hair,' Valina said, 'though I imagine she's significantly paler after being dead for a number of hours.'

The Seeker scowled. 'We could have extracted valuable information from Mireille,' she said, 'why would you be so rash as to–'

'Cassandra, you know quite well that there is nothing rash about my character,' Valina said, 'Mireille had become even more psychotic since the days when I knew her. It would have taken weeks of constant interrogation and torture to break her, assuming she did not find a way to kill herself first. Any information we could have extracted from her, we can discover on our own much faster, especially when we have an extensive and skilled network of spies at our disposal, as well as both mine and the Iron Bull's expertise.'

'Then why did you kill her?'

'Because I wanted to.'

The tightness in Cassandra's jaw dropped, her eyes widening slightly as she stared at Valina. Outside, she was composed, but in the depths of her gaze questions churned.

'I cannot believe that you would kill lightly.'

Valina levelled her serpentstone glare at Cassandra. 'I may be a mercenary, but do not mistake my flippancy about death as impetuousness, Seeker. There was nothing light about my decision, nor do I regret my actions.'

'You will need to account for those actions, Valina. Mireille should have been captured and brought before the Inquisition so that the Inquisitor could decide her fate.'

'When I say that I knew Mireille, I mean that I knew her intimately.'

Cassandra's eyes narrowed. 'Explain.'

'On one condition.'

'And what condition might that be?'

Valina pursed her lips. She glanced back to the door but heard no approaching footsteps. When she faced Cassandra again, the Seeker arched a dark eyebrow expectantly. 'Well?'

Valina met her gaze. 'What I am about to tell you must never leave this room.'


	17. Friends and Foes: Part Two

**Chapter Seventeen**

 **Friends and Foes: Part Two**

Cullen's steps were heavy as he descended the stairs, his mind awash with fury. He could hear voices drifting from the dining room as he approached, Benet's rising in anger above the rest. Malakar would be present when Cullen confronted the Marquis, but not for a diplomatic conversation.

Cullen threw open the heavy doors so hard they shuddered on their hinges. Startled gazes glanced at Cullen as he entered the room, the candlelight flickering in his wake as if reacting to the shadows in his gaze and the wrath that radiated from every step.

Cullen's eyes fixed on the terrified Marquis. Benet shot up from his chair, stumbling as he stepped backwards. Cullen stalked the noble, fists clenched tight at his side, his knuckles cracking as he flexed, longing to crush the Marquis' neck.

Benet yelped as his back met the wall. He raised his hands, holding them up as if to calm the approaching storm. 'Commander Cullen, please–'

'How dare you beg!'

Cullen had never felt rage so hot burn through him at the stuttered words. Images flashed in his mind, his vision clouded with the blood he wished to spill, the pain he wished to cause D'or.

'Bull, stop him!'

'On it, Boss.'

Arms wrapped tight around Cullen's, drawing him back. Cullen fought against Iron Bull's hold, adjusting his strategy. He braced his shoulders, locking his elbows into Bull's grip, and sent a flying kick at Benet's head before the Qunari could drag him backwards.

The Marquis shrunk away with another yelp. He shielded his face but the blow never came. He dared open his eyes, the shadow of a satisfied smile dancing on his lips when noticing Cullen was restrained.

'I made Valina an offer.'

'You tried to blackmail her.'

Cullen fought against Bull's hold, straining until he thought his shoulders would pop. The Qunari grit his teeth, struggling to hold the Commander as Cullen gained enough purchase to pull an arm free and snatch at Benet again.

'It's a game,' Benet snarled, 'I upped the stakes.'

'You do not get to play with people's lives.'

Benet narrowed his stormy eyes, a vicious smile on his lips. 'You Fereldens are so naive. Why do you think the bandits came to Sahrnia to begin with? How do you think they knew to find you on the road?' He watched Cullen's reaction, a sickening smile on his lips at the flicker of doubt in Cullen's tawny gaze. 'That's right. I know exactly who Mireille is. I recruited her years ago to get rid of a clingy lover. I knew that I could have no sordid attachments if I hoped to convince Valina's parents to accept me as her suitor, but the bitch took Valina as her prize and disappeared. It took years, but I found her again, planned to kill her for her insolence after I used her. I spent weeks spreading rumours, feeding information to the farmers that haunt the local taverns, and she fell for every single one. She practically jumped at the chance to see Valina again because she believed she could recruit Valina over to her cultist friends, that she could take Valina as she did before, but she would never have succeeded. They would have tortured Valina, twisted her mind, and then just when she had lost hope, I would have saved her from Mireille and _Valina would be mine_. I just wish the dumb bitch had been smart enough to kill you on sight, Rutherford.'

Cullen stared at the man, stared deep into the stormy gaze as he replayed every conversation, every moment in the days before capture. Mireille and her bandits had come from the estate. How could Benet have notified Mireille so quickly?

A string of curses formed in Cullen's mind as he remembered the traveller, the lightly laden horse.

 _A messenger_.

'It would never have worked,' Cullen said, 'you've never done anything but sit in your estate and push papers. The moment you arrived to save her, she would have known.'

Benet sneered. 'You've fallen into the same trap she lays for all men, convincing you that she wants adventure and battle, that she's got a mind for tactics, but it's all craft. One day she'll realise her stupidity; she will come to crave a man matched to her in wealth and power, and a life of submission. She _will_ be put in her place, and I will be the one to do it.'

Bull shook his head. 'Oh, you fucked up now,' he said, releasing his hold.

Freed from the restraint of Bull's arms, Cullen surged forward with a growl. His thoughts scattered, replaced by the light of vicious bliss as his fist connected with the Marquis' nose. Warm satisfaction bloomed as bones crunched beneath his knuckles, blood spurting, a strangled scream gurgling from Benet's throat.

The Marquis crumpled to the floor, whimpering, shielding his face with his arm. Cullen stared down, chest heaving, fingers curling with the need to attack.

'Commander!'

Cullen ignored the Inquisitor's shout. He grasped Benet's shirt, dragging the Marquis up the wall until his feet dangled. Cullen locked his elbow and tightened his grip, ignoring the nails that clawed at his hands.

'Release him!'

'Not until he learns.'

* * *

Cassandra quirked an eyebrow at Valina's statement but nodded her assent.

'I met Mireille when I was twenty-one. We worked together on a few jobs, and were very close until she discovered the fortune attached to my name,' Valina said, 'Mireille's youth was difficult. She lived in poverty and learnt to use a bow as a means of protection, and later to earn gold. When she learnt that the woman in her bed was the daughter of a wealthy family, she became obsessed with gaining my fortune. The only reason I still live is because I did not have a sibling to which she could attach herself and take advantage of their grief after she failed to court me.'

'And Cullen does not know this?'

'Cullen is quite aware of my history with Mireille, for the most part. What he does not know is the length to which Mireille went in her attempts to gain my commitment.'

Cassandra nodded. 'Continue.'

'The last few days are not the first in which Mireille has detained me. After she failed to procure my hand in a courteous manner, she shot me with an arrow dipped in some form of hallucinogenic coating and locked me in a cell, leaving me to whatever terrors my mind imagined for me. When that did not break me, she tortured me. Her methodology is… expansive. Imaginative. I discovered that she had many of her methods tested on herself.'

'That's why our interrogation would have failed.'

'Yes,' Valina said, 'but I escaped before she could break me. No lock can hold me, not when I have even one tool at my disposal.' Valina threw the Seeker a wry smile. 'Unfortunately, she remembered that trick when she captured me this time.'

'And you did not encounter her again until you were captured this time?'

'No, not face to face,' Valina said, 'a few months after I escaped, she found me in a tavern and left a note in my room while I slept, but by that point, she had successfully ensnared another mark and had lost interest in seeking my fortune.'

Although Valina knew that their moralities often clashed, the Seeker's ability to adapt to the situations presented to her and consider them in their moral contexts was one of Cassandra's strongest characteristics. This was no different, and though Cassandra stayed quiet for a time, processing the information which Valina had given, ultimately she nodded.

'All right, Valina. I think I understand,' Cassandra said, 'I appreciate your honesty, and I apologise for calling you rash. I can't imagine it was easy to discuss.'

Valina shrugged. 'It's important for you to have context, but I would appreciate it if we exclude the details from the report.'

'Understood,' Cassandra said, 'I hope I am not too forward, but may I ask why you do not want to tell Cullen?'

'It is in the past,' Valina said, 'I will not burden him more with such history. He has his own demons which he must bear.'

Cassandra studied Valina, her piercing gaze analysing the closed features. 'I think he would want to know.'

'It would do as much good as attacking the Marquis when I have already made Benet pay for his actions. Cullen cannot change what happened, so telling him will only upset him unnecessarily.'

Cassandra rubbed her eyes, slumping back in her chair. The words settled on her shoulders but the Seeker did not struggle under their weight. 'Okay, Valina. That explains much,' she said, 'but I still do not understand why you knocked the Commander out.'

'It was the safest course. It's much easier to maintain a lie when only one person has to do the lying. Mireille was incredibly perceptive. She would have read Cullen in a second and killed him on the spot, and I would have followed him after ensuring she paid with her blood.'

* * *

An icy bolt slammed into Cullen's shoulder. He dropped the Marquis, stumbling back as frozen crystals formed over his armour, the metal creaking at the sudden change in temperature. He took a step towards the mage, tawny eyes darkened with fury. Malakar did not falter under Cullen's gaze, even when they flared with challenge.

'You have every right to be angry – we all are – but more violence is not the answer.'

'Finally, some sense. I never expected it from an e–'

' _Shut up_ ,' Malakar snapped at Benet, a quiet thunder in his voice as his aura filled the room, magic straining to be released, 'you have said and done quite enough. Marquis Benet D'or. You are charged with engaging in banditry and criminal activity, appealing to the Inquisition under false pretences, endangering the lives of those in Sahrnia and surrounding regions, endangering the lives of Inquisition members, and attempted blackmail and extortion against the Inquisition.'

Benet rolled his eyes. 'I am not a bandit.'

'You brought them here so you are culpable for their actions.'

'My interest is only in Valina. I never threatened the Inquisition–'

'You threatened a core member of the Inquisition and, therefore, your actions extend to the Inquisition as a whole. As the Inquisitor, I have every right to haul you back to Skyhold and punish you in any manner I see fit, and, because you have no living heirs or relatives, to requisition your estate and resources.'

'You cannot–'

' _I can_ ,' Malakar thundered, breath misting the air as the temperature plummeted until ice began to form on every surface, 'and I will unless you can find a way to convince me to be lenient. I will give you the night to think about it.' He looked away from the Marquis. 'Bull, take him to his room. Ensure he does not leave.'

'Can do, Boss.'

Benet's eyes widened with fear and he scrambled backwards, gaze darting between Malakar and the Iron Bull. 'I will not be restrained in my own home, knife-ear,' he spat.

Power crackled in the room, the stifling cold dousing the candles. 'If you are not careful, this will no longer be your home. Dirthara-ma, Your Grace.'

Bull grasped Benet's arm, dragging the Marquis to his feet as if he weighed nothing more than a doll. 'You nobles never know when to keep your mouth shut,' he muttered, shoving Benet toward the door.

The three men watched as the Qunari disappeared through the door, Benet's protests fading as Bull marched him down the hall.

Dorian placed his hand over Malakar's shoulder and tension left the Inquisitor's lithe frame. The candles flickered weakly back to life, warmth slowing diffusing through the bone-chilling cold as Dorian drew Malakar into his embrace.

'May I kill him, Amatus?'

Malakar sighed into Dorian's shoulder. 'You may not, ma vhenan,' he said, a smile creeping over his lips, 'there is a line.'

'He _insulted_ you. At the very least he should lose his tongue for his disrespect.'

'And he will pay for his crimes.'

Dorian met Cullen's gaze, a smirk on his lips as he read the Commander's intent. 'He certainly will.'

Malakar pulled back. He looked up at Dorian's face, catching the smile before his vhenan could hide it. He glanced over his shoulder and Cullen shifted on his feet. Malakar frowned. 'No one kills D'or.'

'Ruining our fun,' Dorian muttered, an innocent smile lighting his lips when Malakar glared at him.

'That's an order.'

'I do like it when you put on your Inquisitor hat,' Dorian said, drawing Malakar closer again.

'Dorian…'

'Fine, Amatus.'

Dorian cupped the back of Malakar's neck, drawing his amatus in, claiming his lips. Cullen turned from them, leaving the room to allow them their moment together.

He walked up the stairs, his steps lighter now. The cloud of rage in his mind slowly lifted, his ire cooling, muted by the knowledge that D'or would likely lose all that he prided himself on – his wealth, his estate, his position – all because of his selfishness. His knuckles throbbed with pain but the sensation was oddly satisfying, especially knowing that D'or had not been healed before he was dragged off.

Cullen straightened his surcoat before he entered his and Valina's quarters. Valina and Cassandra were sitting at the desk, whatever conversation they were having falling away. Both glanced at him as he approached, Valina's eyes dropping to his hand, a smirk lighting her lips.

'You beat him up, didn't you?'

Cullen clenched his jaw, flexing his fingers. 'I merely educated him on the finer points of Inquisition diplomacy. He is lucky to be breathing, considering the fact that he lured the bandits and us here for his own selfish purposes.'

'What in the name of the Maker are you talking about?' Cassandra asked.

'The Marquis did not just hatch a plan to demand we trade Valina at the dinner table. He orchestrated it, down to luring Mireille to Sahrnia and ensuring that we were captured.'

'He _what_?'

'You heard me, Seeker.'

Cassandra sighed. 'This is a disaster.'

Cullen leant on the desk. 'Not entirely. We will be transporting D'or to Skyhold tomorrow and his resources will be seized.'

'As far as I am concerned, the only disaster is that we are not transporting him in a coffin,' Valina muttered.

'Chains will have to do,' Cassandra said, glancing at the rogue, 'I'll ensure they are uncomfortable.'

Cullen moved closer to Valina, leaning on the table so he could face her. 'Valina, there's something more that I need to tell you,' he said, waiting until she met his gaze before he spoke, 'you said you met Mireille when you were both hired by ex-lovers.'

She nodded, trying to read the emotions that flickered in the tawny depths as she said, 'I did.'

Cullen leant closer, supporting himself on the arm of her chair. 'D'or was the one who hired Mireille. He wanted to kill his ex-lover so that he would have no questionable attachments in the hope that he would convince your parents to accept him as your suitor.'

Valina's face went blank. She rose, turning away from him. A disturbing stillness settled over the room, her body frozen and statuesque as she processed his words. For moments that seemed like hours, she stood there, her eyes focused on the window across from her.

Cullen's mind flashed back to the night before they left for Sahrnia when they stopped on the ramparts after leaving the Herald's Rest. She had been smiling, but as she looked up at the stars, her eyes darkened.

 _'_ _Why do you think we hurt the ones we love?' She asked._

 _He agonised over the answer, not knowing how to respond. He knew she was referring to her father, knew she was struggling to come to terms with their earlier argument. 'I… don't know. Perhaps, sometimes, we love them too much.'_

 _'_ _What if I hurt you?'_

 _He stepped closer, wrapping his arms tight around her waist. 'You won't, Valina…'_

The same stillness that had surrounded her on the ramparts embraced her again, but instead of sadness, he could sense the quiet, writhing anger that surged inside her.

Valina turned suddenly and Cullen shivered at the emptiness in her gaze.

'Coffin it is.'

Cullen shot forward, grasping Valina's shoulders. She fought his grip, hands vicelike on his wrists.

'Let me go, Cullen.'

Cullen tightened his hold as much as he could without hurting her. 'Valina, as satisfying as it might be to kill him, it would only be fleeting. Wouldn't you much rather see him shut in a cell and stripped of his title? Disgraced?'

Valina's grip softened but did not release. 'I want him to hurt.'

'I broke his nose, my love, and the Bull is watching D'or after hearing him insult both you and Malakar,' Cullen said, 'trust me, he is hurting.'

'A few more broken bones can't hurt,' she snarled, eyes still burning with her anger, ' _kaffas_ , why does everyone want to put me in a box?'

'I don't,' he whispered and the fight left Valina's body at the quiet words. She looked up at him with wide eyes as he cupped her cheeks. 'I don't, Valina. Nor will I ever let anyone do so.'

Her eyes wavered. Tears welled and bent his head to hers, kissing her forehead, lips trailing down her nose. Valina sighed reluctantly but she softened at his touch, melting into his kiss as he slanted his mouth over hers, his tongue flicking over her bottom lip, coaxing her to return his passion. His hand trailed to her waist, arm encircling her to draw her tight against his chest. She clutched at his surcoat, surrendering to his claim.

'Amatus…'

Cullen drew her closer. He caught her bottom lip, holding her in place, then trailed his kiss to her chin, her neck. She shivered as his teeth grazed her skin, her body reacting to the song of his touch.

A soft sigh broke the silence in the room. Cullen placed one final soft kiss on her lips but did not release her as they glanced at the desk.

'Seeker?' he said, voice rough.

Cassandra took a sharp breath, focus returning to her gaze. A soft blush lit her high cheekbones as she scrambled to her feet. 'Yes, well, I will go check on the situation downstairs.' She walked to the door, only pausing to add, 'don't forget to write up a report. One of Leliana's birds is hanging around somewhere; we'll need to send it ahead to Josephine,' before she left the room.

Valina and Cullen stared at the door for a moment, listening to Cassandra's hurried footsteps.

'What in the...?'

'The Seeker is a romantic after all,' Valina said, 'I thought I read her wrong.'

Cullen frowned at the door. Thoughts churned in his gold-flecked gaze, but he shook them off. He cupped her cheek. 'Let's get this letter out of the way,' he said, 'you start. I'll get some tea.'

'All right, Amatus,' Valina said, smiling up at him. Light had returned to her gaze, though a shadow lurked in the brilliant green. 'Don't be long.'

Cullen placed a soft kiss on her nose. 'Five minutes,' he promised, pulling reluctantly from her arms. He hurried through the door, not wanting to be apart from her longer than necessary. At the bottom of the stairs, he could hear Cassandra, Malakar, and Dorian discussing the confrontation, their voices fading as he moved past the dining room to the kitchens.

The young servant woman who had greeted Cullen and Valina at the door days earlier looked up as he entered. She quickly brushed off her apron, glancing around at the state of the room.

'Oh, Commander Cullen,' she said, 'we weren't expecting you might need us so soon after dinner, especially after... I'm afraid we're in a bit of a state back here, what with everything that's just happened.'

Cullen glanced at the two staff behind her; an old moustached cook and a young elf. 'Yes, I'm sorry about that,' he said, softening his voice at the nervous glances, 'may I ask your names?'

The young woman glanced back. 'Our names, Ser?'

Cullen smiled. 'Yes.'

'Oh, I'm Evelyn. You can call me Eve,' she said, then gestured behind, 'and that's Dennin, the cook. He doesn't talk much but he makes the best winter stew you'll ever taste. And that's Faedrir. He helps me around the house and assists Dennin for big dinners like tonight.'

'The dinner was delicious, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't get to finish.'

Eve offered a soft smile, but it did not meet her hazel eyes. She twisted her hands in her apron. 'What's going to happen to Master D'or, Ser?'

Cullen had expected the question. 'He'll be taken to Skyhold and imprisoned.'

'Imprisoned?'

'Yes,' Cullen said with a firm nod. He planned to throw Benet into a cell personally.

'Does that mean he'll be released?'

Cullen understood her concern for her employer. It was hard to come by work, even for a fit young woman.

'Considering his crimes… it's unlikely.'

Eve clutched at her chest, her sigh of relief echoed by Dennin and Faedrir. 'Thank the Maker.'

'Sorry,' Cullen said, 'I don't understand. You're happy?'

'I should not speak ill of my Master, Ser, but I have no other words to say about him. My mother adored him, but that young man she cared for became twisted up over the years. I am glad she did not live to see it these past few years.'

 _Clearly, it's not just Valina who has suffered his rage._

'This estate is now under Inquisition control,' Cullen reassured her, 'he will not return.'

'What if he comes back, Evie? Won't he be mad?' Faedrir asked meekly. His footsteps were so quiet that Cullen hadn't even noticed him approach.

Eve smiled down at him, though her expression was strained. 'We'll be fine, lad. We'll leave if we have to. There's got to be work somewhere.'

Cullen stepped forward. 'It's very unlikely that D'or will return to this estate.' _I'll ensure it personally._ 'This estate is likely to become a post for Inquisition soldiers. If you wish to stay and run the house, I'll ensure you're paid for your services, and that you have safe lodgings.'

Eve glanced up. 'You'd do that, Ser?' she asked, 'you don't even know us.'

'There's a war out there right now, and we need all the help we can get. Keeping soldiers fed and lodged is key to morale,' Cullen said, 'if you're willing to stay, please do. Otherwise, I will organise enough gold for you to travel to and seek lodgings in whichever town or city you wish to look for work in.'

'Oh, Ser!' Eve said, eyes shining, 'we'll stay. You Inquisition folk saved us. It's the least we can do to repay you. We can't thank you enough.'

'There's really no need to thank me.'

'Yes, there is. Please, if there's anything we can get for you, tell us.'

Dennin raised a spatula. 'Anything,' he said firmly, his voice thick with emotion, though his bushy moustache hid much of his stout face.

'Actually, I did come down here for a pot of tea,' Cullen said, his eyes trailing to the teapot, 'two cups, please.'

* * *

The sweet aroma of fine Orlesian tea wafted temptingly up to Cullen's nose as he carried the steaming tray from the kitchen. He passed the dining room again, his companions still deep in discussion.

The teacups shuddered softly on their saucers as Cullen reached the top of the stairs, almost startling as Iron Bull slammed a door behind himself, a scowl on his face. Cullen glanced at the door, noticing that it was directly beside the study. Clearly, it was Benet's room.

'Everything all right Bull?' Cullen asked as he approached

'Is now,' he said gruffly, 'he's tied up, and not in the fun way.'

Cullen's grip on the tray tightened. 'Good.'

'Might have to gag him too,' Bull said, leaning on the door frame, 'he won't stop going on about how he'll take Valina and her fortune.' He shook his head subtly, his horns barely missing the wall. 'Unbelievable. Think the Boss would notice if I broke his jaw? A gag doesn't seem like it will do much.'

Cullen's lip twitched. 'I personally like your suggestion, but yes, I think the Inquisitor will notice. I'm sure you can think of another way to shut him up.'

'I hope so. You'll let me know if you think of anything _creative_?'

'Will do,' Cullen said as he raised the tray in a subtle nod of solidarity, 'sorry to leave you to your watch, but I best get this to Valina. She does get impatient.'

Bull smirked. 'I bet she does.'

Cullen rolled his eyes as he turned towards his and Valina's quarters. He pushed the door open with his elbow, careful not to spill the tea, though the action was almost in vain. He nearly dropped the tray the moment his eyes fell on Valina. She was returning to the desk, her boots kicked off and pants lying discarded on the bed. As far as he could tell, she wore only her striking green tunic, her supple legs displayed in all their glory.

Valina smiled at him as she leant on the edge of the desk. 'I thought I might need to send a search party after you,' she said as she hopped onto the desktop, her soft tunic riding high up her legs as she swung them playfully. He'd seen her break a man's arm between the strong muscles that flexed beneath her bronzed skin, yet she used those same thighs to cradle him tenderly or to coax him deeper.

Cullen felt the first spark of a devilish thought form in his mind but shook off his stupor, quickening his steps to deposit the tea on the desk safely.

'What took so long?' she asked, motioning for him to sit.

Cullen shrugged his surcoat off, hanging it over the back before he settled into the ornate chair. 'I met some of D'or staff,' he said, accepting the cup she handed him, 'they're quite glad to hear about his fate.' Cullen glanced down at the armrest as it creaked ominously: it was so intricately carved, he was surprised it could hold the weight of his arm.

Valina poured the tea. 'Really?'

'Yes. They were relieved when I informed them of D'or's impending imprisonment. It appears that D'or has developed a reputation among his staff for violence over the last few years.'

Valina sighed. 'I know it's not my fault but I can't feel like I'm partially responsible,' she said, 'I thought he had moved on. I'm not sure where this… obsession has come from, or why it has lasted so long.'

Cullen stared into his tea. 'Valina, this may be impolite of me to ask, but your family's estate is clearly quite magnificent, even in Orlesian terms. Exactly how big is your family's fortune?'

She glanced down.

'Valina, you know that nothing you say changes how I see you, or how I feel.'

She took a sip of tea, serpentstone gaze falling into the contents. 'My family history is steeped in strong trading traditions and I've been an active mercenary for years. I've added to the fortune somewhat. As far as I understand it, there are only three to five families in Orlais whose material wealth amounts to more than ours, and one of those fortunes belongs to the entirety of the royal family.'

Cullen's mind boggled at the potential figures but he pushed the thought aside. 'You said D'or was interested in your fortune. Perhaps it is as he said? He wants your fortune, so greed made him possessive.'

Valina shrugged. 'I suppose that's likely,' she admitted, 'but he must have spent a small fortune of his own on his ridiculous chase this last decade or so, with no reward. It doesn't add up. There are plenty of other matches that he could have pursued that would have been appropriate for his status and would have added significantly to his wealth, and he would have had no trouble securing them; he was always popular at the balls.'

'If your family's fortune really is as large as you say he must have thought it worth the…' Cullen pursed his lips. 'The only word I can think of is 'investment' but I feel that's putting it too politely. Scheme or conspiracy seems more appropriate.'

Valina traced the rim of her cup absently with a slender finger. 'I agree, but I think you're right. Seeing it as an investment is a trader's way of thinking, and the D'or family is steeped in a trading tradition almost as long as ours,' she said, 'still, I think we should look around before we leave in the morning. Perhaps if he was nonchalant about Mireille's dealings with cultists, he may have made a few questionable deals of his own. Perhaps without realising.'

'You think demons might be involved?'

'Demons, spirits. Whatever.' Valina shrugged. 'Either way, it's not a farfetched idea, not when the Fade is basically falling from the sky.'

Cullen nodded. Although he wasn't sure he could take stock in the idea that D'or was being influenced by some force other than his own greed – if only because it brightened his sense of satisfaction over punching the soon-to-be-ex-Marquis – Valina was right. It was worth looking into.

'I do feel bad for his staff though. We just put them out of a job,' she said, 'but I'm sure that mother and father could use a few more staff.'

Cullen smiled. 'This estate is being requisitioned by the Inquisition, and will be converted to a barracks or base,' he said reassuringly, 'I offered them the opportunity to stay on, and I'll make sure they're paid significantly more than whatever D'or paid.'

'Once you find out, tell me. I'll triple the figure on top of whatever the Inquisition can spare, and when this war is over, I'll ensure they find well-paid work.'

Valina shifted on the desk, returning her empty teacup to the tray. She uncrossed her legs and his eyes fell upon the angry bruises that were blooming on her bronzed skin, five distinct marks that almost overwhelmed him with rage. He placed his teacup on the table and reached for her knee, keeping her from moving as he stood up.

'Valina is this from…'

She covered his hand with her own. 'Benet,' she finished, 'yes.'

His jaw locked, darkness flooding his tawny gaze as he stared at the marks. 'I've changed my mind. I'm going to kill him now.'

Valina reached for his cheek, lifting his gaze as she caressed the stubbled expanse. 'I'm fine, Cullen,' she said, voice ringing with promise, 'like you said, any satisfaction we might get from hurting him again or killing him will be fleeting compared to the knowledge that he'll be punished for everything he's done.'

Cullen glanced down again. He ghosted his hand over her thigh, barely touching her skin. His fingers automatically fell over the bruises and he withdrew his hand, clenching it at his side as if he feared he would hurt her.

Valina tapped his chin, drawing his attention to her eyes again. 'I'm fine, I promise,' she whispered. She picked up his teacup, handing it to him. 'Finish it before it goes cold, Amatus.'

Her steady gaze left no room for argument.

Cullen settled back into the chair with a sigh, forcing himself to focus on the warmth of the tea as he fought for calm. He watched curiously as she shifted a few pages on the desk, eyes darting to read the contents. He traced her features with his eyes, as he had many times before, memorising the soft curve on the tip of her nose, the length of her eyelashes, the fullness of her lips, the way curls of her hair cupped her ear when she swept them back from her face. He was mesmerised by her, so much so that, when she eventually hopped down from the desk he startled at the movement, his teacup almost slipping through his hands. He caught it only for his grip to falter as hips swayed temptingly in front of him.

'Maker…' he breathed, gripping his teacup tighter as she leant over the desk to reach for the quill, her tunic riding up to reveal the curves of pert cheeks. Urges warred inside him, desire and duty conflicted by his heated blood. He felt the spark of the devilish thought burn hotter, so close to igniting, but Valina glanced back, catching his gaze, a wicked smile creeping over her lips that made his neck flush.

Cullen shifted in his chair, clearing his throat before he said, 'we should finish the letter.' He placed the teacup on the desk well out of reach of his shaking hands.

Valina turned to face him fully, leaning on the edge of the desk. 'This is what I have so far,' she said. She read the letter to him. It began with a reassurance that they were safe and then followed with a brief account of the initial meeting with D'or, the encounter with Mireille, their capture and escape, and the evening's events and results. He nodded at every step, impressed that she had managed to include so much detail in such a succinct account.

'I think that should suffice until we reach Skyhold,' Valina said as she finished. She turned back to the desk to sign the letter.

'I'm sure it will,' Cullen said, voice rough. He swallowed hard, gaze flecked with gold as Valina moved to rummage through the desk drawer for supplies to seal the missive. She didn't turn from her work as she lit the candle, her focus on the melting wax as she dripped it onto the edge.

'I refuse to use Benet's seal,' Valina muttered, her voice echoing her sneer. She dug through the drawer again, finding a clean nib. She scratched a simplified version of the Inquisition seal into the wax, then, satisfied with the letter, placed it on the tea tray to take downstairs. She looked around the desk. 'If this house is as well-equipped as he claims, then there should be…' She felt along the side of the desk, finding a hidden cord. 'Ah, there it is.' She tugged on the cord and a soft ringing echoed from the desk. She glanced back at Cullen. 'Call bell.'

Valina gathered up the tray when a small knock sounded on the door.

Faedrir looked up at Valina, eyes wide and bright. 'Are you finished with the tea ma'am?'

'Yes, thank you. It was wonderful,' she said, passing him the tray, 'could you please give that letter to Lady Cassandra on your way back to the kitchen?'

He nodded. 'What would you like me to tell her?'

'She'll know what it is,' Valina said, 'thank you.'

Faedrir headed back down the stairs and Valina returned to the desk. She tidied the surface instinctively, tucking the few items to the side. Cullen watched her, realising that she was often the only thing that kept his desk from descending into chaos as Valina returned the items to the drawer, cursing as she dropped the small nib. She bent to collect it and a sharp crack echoed through the room.

Valina looked back at Cullen at the sudden noise and found him staring blankly at the piece of the armrest that had come away in his hand.

'Cullen?' she said as she turned to face him fully, leaning on the desk again.

He dragged his gaze up at her voice, snapping his dropped jaw up. 'I… blasted furniture,' he said tersely, 'a sturdy Ferelden chair would never break so easily.'

'Mmhm,' she hummed, biting her bottom lip as she fought a laugh, 'sure, Amatus.'

A smile tugged at her lips, her eyes trailing down. He could feel the heat of her serpentstone gaze like a caress, his body shuddering under the intensity of her perusal. With the letter written, the burden of duty fell away and thoughts rushed his mind. He glanced at the open door that led to the corridor and suddenly he understood the spark that had been tugging at his mind, knew how to silence Benet, knew how to hurt him without laying another finger on the man.

Cullen cast aside the armrest, the broken chair forgotten as he rose to envelop her in his embrace. He grasped her tunic, drawing her closer to claim her lips. He pressed her back against the desk, pinning her hips in place as his hands sought the bottom hem of her tunic. He worried that it was too soon, that he was taking advantage of her after such a terrible ordeal, but she melted into his kiss, fingers entwining in his hair, nails scraping his scalp and sending shivers dancing over his skin. He flicked his tongue over her lips and she opened to him, moaning into his mouth at the intimate caress, and he knew that he could never let her go.

Valina pressed closer, arching against him, seeking. The leather of his gloves was cool against her supple skin, his fingers splaying across her back. She felt the heat of him pressed against her hip as a growl rumbled in his chest, his cock straining against his pants, throbbing with every sigh and moan that fell from her lips.

Cullen broke the kiss, his chest heaving, his golden gaze finding sparkling serpentstone that shone with hunger. He dragged a hand away from her, wasting no time to bite the finger of his glove and tug the leather from his hand, desperate to feel the softness of her skin and the strength that rippled beneath the surface. He palmed her thigh with calloused fingers, her breath hitching as he trailed soft touches up her inner thigh. He eased her legs apart with his knee, earning a shiver, earning a throaty moan as he sought her heat.

Cullen cupped her through the fabric, shuddering to find her smallclothes soaked with her need. He massaged her with his palm until she rolled her hips in his hands, until her fingernails bit into his scalp. He hooked his finger beneath the fabric, pulling it aside to slide his finger through her curls, to delve between her slick folds and coat his fingers with her honey. He bent his head, trailing his lips over her jaw, and she arched her neck to welcome him.

'Cullen, the door…' she whispered, breaths sharp as he teased her throbbing clit with deft fingers.

'Let him hear,' he growled against her neck, 'I want your moans to fill this room.' He grazed his teeth along the sensitive spots he had mapped on her skin, flat teeth biting down on each spot, marking, claiming as she shuddered under his mouth. 'I want my name to paint these walls as it falls from your lips.' His tongue dipped into the hollow at the base of her neck, flicking, tasting. 'I want your screams to haunt this house, with the reminder that I claimed you on this desk, just as you claimed me on the forest floor.'

She whimpered as he withdrew his touch, hands tugging at her smallclothes until they slid down her legs for her to kick off, then his touch was upon her again. He found the centre of her need, a finger slipping into the heat of her core, his cock throbbing as he imagined plunging into her heavenly cunt, knowing she would moan as he filled her. He thrust slowly and she met his pace, gasping as he added a second finger, hips rolling in abandon as she sought her pleasure.

'Cullen…'

He heard the unspoken plea. He moved his thumb into place, the digit stroking her clit with every thrust of his fingers and she moaned, the sound ragged as her chest heaved with shaky breaths. She rode his fingers, her body shuddering with need, her sweet honey coating his hand. He could sense the start of her climax, the subtle clench of her core, the sharp note in her moans that filled his ears.

Valina's knees shook beneath her, her body trembling. She dropped one hand to the desk, nails scratching into the wood as she clung to it for support. A broken cry escaped her as he shifted his fingers to focus on her clit. Heat pooled in her core, a sweet fire burning through her nerves. She cried out at the intensity of her pleasure, but still her body ached for him, her core clenching in a broken rhythm, needy, desperate to be filled by the hard length that burned against her hip.

Cullen withdrew his hand. He stripped the tunic from her, tossing it aside. He cupped her breasts and she shuddered at the contrast in his touch, the cool leather of the glove and the heat of his calloused palm, still wet with her pleasure as he teased the dusky peaks.

He arched instinctively as deft fingers released the tie on his trousers, opening them until she could dip her hand into his smallclothes. She cupped his aching length, eliciting a groan from his lips as he pressed into her touch. She stroked him with her palm, teasing him for a moment as her other hand worked his clothes down far enough to free his throbbing cock.

Valina wrapped her hand tight around his shaft, stroking him from root to tip before her thumb flicked over the sensitive head, her hand sliding down to begin again. He dropped his hands to the desk, fingers curling into fists as he thrust into her hand. He pressed his lips to her neck, stubbled chin grazing over sensitive skin where the impression of his bites still lay, his sharp breaths falling against her ear.

'I need you,' she said, and he shuddered at her husky tone.

'Valina,' he breathed, finding her serpentstone gaze, his voice rough with his desire. He grasped her arm, coaxing her hand from his cock before he lost his mind to the wicked flick of her wrist. 'Would you let me…?'

'Anything,' she whispered, and he watched her gaze, finding the sincerity in the green depths, 'I'm yours.'

Cullen hummed his approval, taking Valina's hips in hand. He drew her closer, claiming her lips in a searing kiss, savouring the taste of her tongue, the soft gasps that he stole. When he broke away his eyes were pure gold.

He turned her slowly, allowing her the chance to refuse even as he took her wrists gently in hand. He placed her palms on the desk, easing her torso onto the surface with his body. She gasped as her breasts touched the cold wood, her body jerking, the generous curve of her arse cradling him. Cullen stilled his desire, the desperate urges that clamoured in his mind as his aching shaft brushed against dark curls. He trailed his hands down her back and she shivered under his caress.

Cullen touched her foot gently with his own, coaxing her to open herself to his touch, and she eagerly obliged. He teased her silken lips, wet with the pleasure he had given, his fingers slipping between them. He circled her clit as he grasped his aching length in his gloved hand, stroking himself, the anticipation almost too much to bear in his riled state.

Valina moaned when he replaced his finger with the thick head, his body tensing as he stroked the sensitive crown over her clit, the motions coating his cock with her need. He pressed against her core and she shuddered, rolling her hips in invitation.

Cullen pinned her hips with his hands and a quiet voice broke through the clamour of his need. _Should have taken off armour, clothes. She is vulnerable, naked, beautiful. She deserves tenderness, deserves more than being bent over a desk,_ it protested, but his passion flared as he drove deep into her silken flesh with a single thrust – fervent, desperate, spurred by her moans and the needy clench of her core on his throbbing shaft – and he abandoned his control to it.

He moved slowly at first, his thrusts testing, seeking. He had imagined taking her from behind more times than he could count, when his restless mind drifted from the reports on his desk. He had dreamt of bending her over in a frenzy on the bed, the desk, even the war table, but his dreams had never come close to the reality. They had not captured the symphony of her moans, or the sound of her nails as they scraped the polished surface, digging furrows in the varnish as she clung to the far edge of the desk. They had not captured the beauty of her back, the bronzed expanse covered in the lightest sheen of sweat, the flex of toned muscles that danced beneath her skin as she arched against the wood, using her elbows to prop herself up.

Cullen grasped her pert arse, spreading her to his gaze, driving deeper into her heat. He could feel that his clothes – still bunched beneath his heavy sack – were soaked with her honey. He stared down at the place where their bodies met, tight dark curls framing his cock, his shaft glistening with her pleasure. His cock throbbed at the sight, a groan he hardly recognised rumbling in his chest as the frenzy of his need settled on his bones, spurred by the erotic slap of their flesh that echoed in the room.

Cullen widened his stance, his feet framing hers as he dropped his elbow to the desk. He reined himself in, barely keeping himself from quickening his pace as he rolled his hips over hers, the friction of the angle maddening. He feared he would hurt her with his eager thrusts, the thick head of his cock striking the end of her core, but Valina gasped at the new angle, at the intensity of the fullness inside her, and the slap of his heavy sack against her sensitive skin.

'Kaffas…' Valina whimpered, voice breaking, 'Cullen, _harder_.'

He nearly came undone at the throaty plea. He lowered his head and kissed her back, his tongue darting out to taste her between her shoulder blades. He surrounded her, his elbows beside her own as he rut over her, the cold metal of his cuirass suctioning to her back until he arched away.

'Yes,' Valina breathed, 'don't stop!'

His name fell from her lips like a prayer, a plea, a curse as she felt heat pooling in her core, her muscles trembling at the pleasure he gave.

He coiled his fingers in her soft hair, coaxing her head back until he could graze the shell of her ear with a stubbled cheek, earning a throaty moan.

'Louder, my love,' Cullen said between ragged breaths as her needy cunt tightened temptingly, signalling her coming climax, 'let him hear.'

Valina's legs trembled and she was thankful for the desk beneath her as her toes curled, muscles clenching so tight it bordered on pain, but the fullness inside her overpowered all sensations. Her hips jerked back against him, her core clenching tight around his thick flesh. Her scream echoed off the walls as she came in a flood of pleasure that burned and crackled deep in her loins, sending sparks down to her toes. Her needy cunt milked his shaft, his sack tightening, a shiver on his spine as he quickened his thrusts. His cock throbbed, tension building until he was sure he would explode, but sweet relief greeted him and he roared as he joined her climax, hot jets of his seed lashing deep inside her. He rode her through her orgasm, rode her until his cock ached with the intensity of the pleasure, and still he was reluctant to leave the tempting heat of her body, thrusting lazily as heady sensations danced on his skin. It took all his strength to rise on his hands and withdrew from her, his softening shaft slapping against his thigh.

Valina lay boneless on the desk. Her arms had collapsed under the weight of her climax, her cheek resting on the surface, heavy breaths fogging up the polished wood. Her face was flushed, long lashes casting shadows on her skin.

Cullen tried to step back, intent on finding a cloth to clean up his mess, but his unsteady legs betrayed him. He stumbled, falling into the chair as soon as the back of his knees touched the seat. He could not help but stare at her spread for him, his thick cum dripping from her glistening folds, the image seared into his mind to replay in his most wicked dreams.

He shook himself as she rose on shaking arms, using the desk to steady herself as she stretched languidly. He went to her, ignoring the tremble in his knees as he drew her against his chest. She shivered as her heated skin met the cold armour of his cuirass. He grasped her shoulders, hands trailing down her arms, and she leant into his embrace, her head resting on his shoulder. He placed soft kisses on her temple, slowly turning her until he could bend and hook an arm beneath her knees. She gasped as he swept her into his arms to carry her across the room.

Cullen set her on the edge of the bath. The water was still warm and she slipped into it languidly, washing their climax from her skin with gentle strokes, her skin tingling with every touch.

Cullen kicked off his boots and sodden pants, taking the washcloth from beside the bath. He soaked it, cleaning himself roughly, nearly moaning at the lingering sensitivity. He wiped her honey from his groin and thighs, dropping the washcloth before he bit the finger of his remaining glove and dragged it off his hand.

Valina knelt in the tub, leaning on the high edge with her forearms. 'You didn't even get your armour off, Amatus,' she said as she watched him with a hooded gaze, bronzed cheeks still flushed, a soft smile on her lips.

Cullen felt his skin flush as he began to unstrap his bracers. 'I… no,' he said, pausing with his fingers on a buckle, 'I didn't hurt you, did I?'

'No,' she said, a wicked glint in her eyes, 'quite the opposite.'

Cullen felt his lips twitch in a smile. He continued to unstrap his armour as she rose from the tub. She stepped over the edge, wrapping herself up in a towel. She tucked the edges together over her breasts, freeing her hands to assist him.

'Do you think D'or heard?'

'I think the whole house heard,' he said as she unstrapped his cuirass. His mind flashed to the half open door. Now that the fog of desire was lifting, he finally wondered if the Iron Bull had caught an eyeful as well as an earful, his neck flushing at the thought of a Qunari voyeur. 'Bull especially.'

She took the heavy armour from his chest and piled it with the rest. Cullen stripped his shirt, throwing it down.

'I'm sure he was tempted to join us,' she said as she placed her hands on his chest, her touch soft as she trailed her fingers down his abs.

'I could never share you, Valina,' he said, cupping her cheeks in his calloused hands.

She leant into his touch, rising on her toes to claim his lips. 'I was thinking the same about you,' she whispered, placing another soft kiss on his lips, 'I'll be in the bed. Don't be long.'

She dropped the towel, if only to watch the lingering heat flare in his gaze. His gaze followed her as she turned and left the room, watching as she crawled onto the massive bed and snuggled beneath the covers. A smile curled his lips, heart bursting with love for his rogue.

 _Maker's breath, how can she be mine_?

He bathed and dried quickly, eager to have her in his arms again. He strode to the bed but changed his course, bare feet padding on the cold floor as he went to close the door. As much as there had been a point to leaving it open, he thought it best to discourage anyone from barging in while they were sleeping.

'Sounds like you figured out a way to shut up D'or. He stopped yelling about three minutes after you broke the chair.'

Cullen ducked behind the frame, shielding his body. He poked his head out in the corridor. In the softly lit hallway he could see the Iron Bull leaning on the opposite wall, his massive arms folded across his chest, a smirk on his lips.

'You heard _that_?' Cullen asked. He had never suspected the Qunari's hearing would be so sharp.

Bull tapped his ear. 'Heard everything, Curly,' he said, 'I knew she'd be good for you. Sounds like you're good for her, too. Who'd have thought a chantry boy could make a woman scream like that?' A deep flush rose from Cullen's neck right to his ears and Bull laughed. 'Ah, I'm just messing with you Commander. I knew you had it in you. If D'or starts carrying on again can you use the bed though? It sounds like I missed a good show.'

'Good night, Bull,' Cullen said tersely and he closed the door.

When he reached the bed Valina was already drifting off to sleep. He crawled under the covers behind her, curling against her back, his arm wrapping tight around her waist. She sighed contently, shifting to be closer to him. He pressed soft kisses against her temple and her cheek.

'Sleep well, my love,' he whispered.

She mumbled her reply in Tevene but he caught the love in her words. He laid his head on the pillow, unable to wipe the smile from his face as he fell asleep beside her.


	18. Seeing Red

**Chapter Eighteen**

 **Seeing Red**

 _Skyhold, Inquisition Fortress_

 _Frostback Mountains, border between Ferelden and Orlais_

'Benet D'or, former Marquis of Sahrnia, Orlais. You are hereby formally charged with engaging in banditry and criminal activity, appealing to the Inquisition under false pretences, endangering the lives of those in Sahrnia and surrounding regions, endangering the lives of Inquisition members, and attempted blackmail and extortion against the Inquisition,' Malakar said as he leant forward in the Inquisitor's throne, 'do you have anything to say in your defence?'

Benet fought against his bonds, but the guards held him firm. He spat at Malakar's feet. 'I will not be judged by a knife-ear.'

Hushed gasps broke through the hall, whispers about D'or's insolence filtering through the crowd. Valina had to grasp both Cullen's and Dranus' wrist to keep them from stepping forward in anger.

Malakar waved off the remark, though Valina noticed his jaw tighten. 'Because you have no living heirs or relatives, we hereby requisition your estate and resources to support the war effort.'

'What shall we do with him?' Josephine asked. She had been briefed on the specifics of the events on the return of the six companions – and one prisoner – to Skyhold. It was rare for the ambassador to show so much emotion whilst observing judgement, but her disgust at Benet was palpable.

'Lock him in the cells. We may have more questions for him.'

'I'll go ensure the guards don't make him too comfortable,' Cullen whispered at the announcement, slipping from Valina's hold. He marched toward Benet, directing the soldiers.

Benet cursed vehemently at the sentence as he was dragged away but every insult rolled off the Inquisitor's shoulders. Malakar rose from his chair with a quiet grace, despite the weight of the responsibility that rested on him, his lithe frame unbowed even in the face of hate and intolerance.

Dorian appeared at his side, reaching for him.

'I'm fine,' Malakar said as Dorian's fingers brushed against the back of his hand.

'I can still kill him if you like,' Dorian said. Although the mage smirked, the flash of menace in his gaze belied any levity.

'No, ma vhenan. We really do need to question him.'

Dorian sighed. 'Ah yes, that blasted chest.'

'What chest?' Dranus asked.

Malakar and Dorian glanced at the older mage as he approached with Valina.

'We found it in the lower rooms. Magic has been used to seal it,' Malakar said, 'Valina could not pick the lock, and even a combined effort with myself and Dorian could not decipher the magic.'

'That seems odd,' Dranus said, 'there's no magic blood in the D'or family.'

'If he's hiding something, it will be in there, then,' Dorian said.

Valina stepped closer. 'Let me talk to him.'

Malakar frowned, clearly recalling the events of the previous night. 'I'm not sure that's a good idea.'

'I'll take my father,' Valina said, 'Benet may have formed some delusions that I won't kill him–'

'But he is terrified of me,' Dranus said, glancing down at his daughter. He was yet to have a moment to reconcile with her, let alone ask her to explain all that had happened in Sahrnia, but now was not the time to push. He returned his gaze to Malakar. 'I'm also best suited to finding out about the magic you mentioned.'

The moment dragged on but Malakar eventually offered a reluctant nod. 'All right,' he said, 'Dorian, could you go with them? I should respond to all the letters which have surely piled up while I've been away.'

Dorian grasped Malakar's wrists. 'Not so fast,' he said, drawing the lithe mage closer, a smile curving his lips, 'you'll not be going anywhere without a goodbye.' He pressed a soft kiss on Malakar's forehead, then trailed his lips to Malakar's. Malakar could not hide his smile as he savoured Dorian's touch, the caress of bronzed fingers as they swept pale strands from Malakar's eyes. 'I'll join you soon, Amatus,' Dorian said, words resonating with promise.

Malakar was reluctant to leave after the taste of affection, but Dorian gave him a subtle push, a reassuring smile on his lips. The Inquisitor disappeared through the door to his quarters with a backwards glance and Dorian could not hide his smile.

'No time to waste,' Dorian said, 'I'd quite like to get to bed before dawn if I can.'

They followed the path the guards had taken, travelling down the front steps of the main hall and to the single door in the opposite wall.

'I need you both to be ready,' Valina said as they began their descent to the cells, 'I'm going to provoke him.'

'Valina, I'm not sure–'

'Trust me,' she said, glancing at Dranus, 'when I signal, freeze him.'

Dranus looked sceptical, but he nodded curtly. She looked at Dorian and he nodded also.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Valina drew her coat on tighter, tucking her hood around her neck to stay warm in the exposed dungeon. It had been a hard ride to return before dusk and now night fell sharply, the famed Frostback winds ripping through Skyhold.

The dungeon was well lit by torches and a large stone vessel in the centre of the room. The flickering flame threw shadows across the damp stone, a beacon in the frigid air that provided a modicum of warmth.

Valina approached the cell first. Benet was bundled in the back corner on the rough mat, a coarse blanket the only item he was allowed. He had wrapped it around himself to stave off the cold. He glanced up when he heard their approaching footsteps, his eyes locking onto Dranus. Valina saw the twitch of his jaw, the nervous tick as he faced a man he truly feared.

'You've brought your daddy to finish me off, have you?' Benet asked with a humourless laugh, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders, 'I should have known that the Inquisition would be so easily corrupted by the Voclains. Bought your way in, yes?'

Valina crouched at the bars, tapping them with her fingers. The iron sang at her touch and Benet met her gaze. His usually perfectly preened hair hung limply over his face and dried blood still clung to his pallid skin from the broken nose, his stormy eyes hollow as he stared at her.

'You are a shadow of the man you used to be.'

Benet's gaze flickered down. She could not see his face in the shadows, though she had no doubt his eyes churned with emotions. He rose to his feet with unsteady movements. As he moved forward Valina stood up but she did not step back, even when he slammed his hands into the bars.

No man would make her cower in fear.

Benet curled long fingers around the bars, leaning into the light. 'How would you know?' he asked, 'you never wanted anything to do with me.'

'I would have been your friend, had you not obsessed with marriage,' Valina said, and his stormy eyes flickered at her words, 'I quite enjoyed your company when it was not overshadowed by your requests but you never seemed to understand the meaning of the word 'no' despite how many times you heard it.'

A sickening curl draped his lips, more of a bearing of teeth than a smile. 'I never heard you say no to that Ferelden dog last night, Valina.'

'Oh, you heard that?' she said with mock embarrassment, 'I'm afraid the Commander forgot to close the door. I did warn you that I'm a screamer.'

Benet sneered. 'I'm quite glad that I never had you. Your cunt must be filthy, soiled by lowlife Fereldens like Rutherford.'

Valina held her hand up, silencing Dranus and Dorian before they could snap back at his remark. A slow smile curled on her lips. 'It certainly is after Cullen filled it with his seed last night,' she said, making sure to hold his gaze, 'I'm afraid we made quite a mess on one of your desks, Benet. The floor and bed were not spared, either.'

A vicious sound escaped Benet as he launched himself at her, reaching through the bars, face pressed against the iron, his fingertip brushing against Valina's cheek before his arm froze in place.

'I'm assuming that was the signal,' Dorian said, his hand still raised. He glanced to Dranus. 'Ah, you too. Excellent.'

The mages lowered their hands.

'Well done,' Valina said, moving closer to Benet. Even frozen his eyes followed her, watching as she reached through the bars. She began to search his clothes, starting with the pockets.

'What are you looking for?

'Something that might unlock that chest,' she said as she crouched and began to pat Benet down at his ankles, working up, 'where do you keep something that you value?

Dranus touched his amulet on instinct. 'Close.'

Valina nodded as she reached Benet's hips. 'So, it's a fair assumption that whatever opens the chest is something he wears on his person. We searched his person this morning but found nothing. So, I suggested we leave him alone in his quarters for a half hour before we left and now…' She ran her hands over his chest, reaching his breastbone, her palm landing over something hard. She glanced at Dorian with a smirk.

'Huh,' Dorian said, 'stupid fool fell for it.'

Valina took the pin her mother had made from her coat, using the sharp edge to split the fabric of his shirt. A large pendant hung from an ornate chain, the centre emitting a soft red glow. As soon as her eyes fell upon it Valina stepped back, pushing Dorian and Dranus behind her.

'Both of you go. Find Dagna and Varric. Send them down at once,' she said, never daring to lift her gaze from the pendant, 'I think I know what caused Benet's madness.'

* * *

The atmosphere in the war room was heavy, thick with the weight of Dagna's words. Although the dwarf had left the room, no one seemed willing to speak as they stared at the amulet that lay in the middle of the war table. The corrupting substance glowed softly, emitting a light that could almost be mistaken as soothing.

Cullen cleared his throat, breaking the heavy silence. 'Eve, the servant girl, said that Benet's disposition changed rapidly about five years ago,' he said, his wary gaze locked on the item, 'as much as I loathe the man, I don't doubt that this amulet is responsible.'

Varric grimaced. 'If he's been exposed to red lyrium for so long, why does he still look so… human?'

'Perhaps the magic that was used to create the amulet contained the worst of the corruption?' Leliana said, dragging her eyes away from the red glow, 'so only his mind was affected.'

'It would explain a lot,' Valina said as she leant closer, 'we'll give Benet some time to rest. With the amulet gone, we can only hope that some of his former self will return, but we still need to find out if it unlocks that chest.' She reached for the amulet and Cullen caught her wrist. She glanced up, catching the shadows that flickered in his gaze.

'It doesn't have to be you.'

'I'm not susceptible to it like a mage,' she said, staring into the tawny depths, 'and I don't want it anywhere near you.'

Cullen's grip tightened on her wrist, his eyes churning with memories, but she did not release his gaze. Slowly, he relented, and Valina reached again for the amulet; the table lay empty but for the pins of missions and battles, the amulet was gone. They looked up from the war table, staring at the stout rogue.

Varric glanced between them with a mischievous smirk, the ornate chain wrapped around his gloved fingers. 'The chest is with Dagna?'

'It should be,' Josephine said, glancing down at her ledger, 'I had it brought up when you arrived.'

'It's settled,' Varric said, still smiling at Valina and Cullen, 'I'll take this to Dagna to investigate, and the rest of you poor sods can finally go get some sleep.'

'That sounds like a good idea,' Malakar said, glancing warily at the amulet, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, 'wake me when the chest is open.'

The group filed out of the war room with weary steps, glad to return to their quarters after days of turmoil and unrest.

The moment Valina snuggled into Cullen's tight embrace, she expected to fall asleep under the weight of exhaustion, to slip blissfully into slumber and oblivion in the arms of her amatus. She listened to his steady breaths, his body warm and comforting as it curled around her own, but two hours passed and she found herself awake, staring through the broken ceiling at the stars, her mind restless after the events of the day.

Valina carefully extracted herself from Cullen's embrace, placing a soft kiss upon his hand before she lay it beside him. He did not stir, his handsome face calm and content in sleep. He rolled to his back, and Valina could not help but smile at the soft snores that rumbled in his chest.

She rose from the bed, dragging on a pair of trousers and one of Cullen's sweaters. It was far too big for her, but she was comforted by its warmth and Cullen's familiar rich scent.

She climbed down the ladder and quietly opened the door, careful to keep the hinges from squeaking lest she wake her slumbering lion. Her mind was filled with questions as she walked along the battlements, the cobblestone cold beneath her feet. Even the Herald's Rest was dark, Skyhold quiet but for the patrolling guards.

Valina followed the path she had traversed only hours before. She clutched the sweater tighter around herself as she descended the stairs, the cold air biting at her exposed skin. Fewer lamps lit the dungeon now, the large stone vessel in the centre of the room the only source of light and warmth. Her breath fogged in the air as she approached the first cell, her bare feet making no discernible noise on the stone. She leant against the bars, staring in at the shape huddled on the cold floor. She tapped the bars, the iron singing.

Benet startled awake. He turned to face her as he sat up. 'Who's there?'

Valina took a torch from the wall beside the cell, lighting it in the central vessel before she returned to the cell door. When she looked into the cell, Benet stumbled to his feet. Benet moved forward on shaking legs. He did not lunge at the bars as he had hours before, but when he reached them he held them tight, slender fingers wrapping around them for support as he leant closer.

'My Lady,' he said, 'you took the amulet.'

 _It would seem that his manners have returned_ , Valina thought wryly, their earlier exchange still fresh in her mind.

'Yes. Does that upset you?' she asked as she stared into his gaze, the flickering flame of the torch lighting irises of soft grey, his eyes wide with fear.

'I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to take that chain from my neck.'

She assessed him coldly, but he did not seem to notice the weight in her gaze as she asked, 'what do you mean?'

Benet leant closer, pressing his face between the bars. 'The moment I put that amulet on I felt the darkness in it. I tried to rip it off, but my hands seemed no longer my own. I have not been in control of myself for so long, I hardly know how much time has passed.'

'What do you remember?'

'Everything,' he whispered, 'Maker, Valina, the things I said. The things I've done.'

Valina held her hand up, silencing him. 'Calm, Benet,' she said, her voice resonating with a quiet authority, 'focus. How do you feel now?'

Benet took a deep breath, the sound ragged as he exhaled it, his body wracked with shivers. 'Cold. Scared.' He took another breath, his exhalation fogging the cold air. 'Alive.'

'Count yourself lucky on the latter.'

'I do, my Lady.'

Benet looked so much older than only hours before, his skin almost sickly pale even in the warm light of the torch, dark circles hanging off his eyes. The grey of his irises was lighter, she noted, much clearer than before.

'How did you come to possess the amulet?'

'It was payment,' he said, 'someone offered to purchase one of my mines. I didn't particularly want to sell, so I named an outrageous price, far more than it was worth. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when they paid it all _in advance_. I received the amulet and a chest, one more secure than a simple lock and key, as a final payment once the buyer took control of the mine.'

'You never knew who offered to buy the mine?'

He shook his head. 'We communicated through letters only, but everything was written up exactly as it needed, and they paid in full.'

'Why would you take accept a strange amulet from someone you never met?'

'I thought it was drakestone,' he said, 'that's what was contained in the mine, after all. It's not uncommon to receive a gift after–'

'A large successful transaction, I know,' she finished, processing the information, 'I think it's safe to assume that your mine did not just contain drakestone.'

'What else could possibly be down there?'

'Red lyrium.'

His eyes widened. 'But Lyrium is… no, lyrium is good. It's what the Templars use to control–'

'Lyrium is dangerous. Addictive. Destructive.' Valina pursed her lips, pausing only long enough to quiet her thoughts, the image of Cullen thrashing in a night terror flashing in her mind for the briefest moment. She returned the torch to its holder, holding the sweater tighter around herself before she continued, 'red lyrium is even more dangerous, Benet. It corrupts everything it comes near. I've seen the results of exposure first-hand. The fact that you are still human is a miracle.'

'I… that's why…? Red lyrium.' He shook his head. 'Andraste preserve me, how I wish I could wake from this nightmare. I really did say and do all those things, didn't I?

Valina nodded, and Benet sucked in a sharp breath. He dropped to his knees, his shoulders shaking as he leant his head against the bars. 'Valina, I have no words. No apology will ever be enough,' he whispered, 'I don't deny that I have long dreamed that one day you would accept me as your husband, but I would never have–'

'You had no qualms hiring a mercenary to kill your former lover,' she said, 'so I doubt you would have been overly upset if any harm came to me.'

Benet shook his head sharply. 'I tried everything to detach her after our affair ended. I only hired Mireille because Lillisandra had already made two attempts on my life. It was the only way to stop her.'

Valina watched his eyes, watched the expressions that played across his face, finding a firm sincerity. 'All right, Benet.'

'Only days before I put that blasted amulet on I had thought I would write to you, to ask if you would consider joining me on a trip to my coastal estate. I am glad now that I did not. What might I have done?'

'Very little,' Valina said, 'I would never have accepted.'

She did not suppress the hardness in her stare when he glanced up with eyes laced with tears.

'Perhaps it is best,' he said, voice rough with the onslaught of unfamiliar emotions.

'You can save your tears for someone else, Benet,' she said, 'your sanity may have returned somewhat, but you'll find no sympathy in me. Our relationship does not change. Even if I had said yes to you all those years ago, you would have taken away all that I am the moment we made our vows.'

His grey eyes flickered. 'Yes,' he admitted, 'I thought it wrong that your parents allowed you to continue in such a dangerous manner.'

Valina met the words with a cold stare. 'And now?' she asked, 'after all you have been through, after all that has happened, would you let me keep my blades?'

Benet pursed his lips, his silence speaking for him.

'I thought so,' Valina said.

Benet pulled himself up the bars, holding himself steady. 'What about the Ferelden?' he asked, 'Surely such a Commander will take no less than submission from his partner.'

'You do not know Cullen,' Valina said, 'just as you will never know me. Perhaps you should consider this an opportunity to look beyond your rigid, antiquated mind.'

Benet did not fight the insult. He glanced down, bearing the brunt of her quiet anger willingly. For a moment they stood in silence, Valina assessing Benet intently until he lifted his head once again.

'What shall become of me now?'

'Your fate is still in the Inquisitor's hands, but if your sanity is truly returning, it's more likely that the Inquisition will return your estate to you.'

He nodded absently. 'It means little now, but I pledge my services and resources to the Inquisition,' he said, 'I have no right to ask, but please request an audience on my behalf. I have a lengthy apology to express to the Inquisitor.'

Valina stared at him for a moment more. 'Try to get some sleep,' she said, 'Tomorrow is a new day.'

Benet did not call out to her as she turned from him or even as she ascended the stairs, the heavy door closing behind her. She took a breath of the crisp night air, the weight of the cold inside her lungs an anchor for her thoughts. The sky was beginning to lighten above her, the sun rising on the distant horizon, soon to peek over the snow-capped mountains. She passed the Herald's Rest again, her churning thoughts settling as she ascended the stairs to the battlements.

Valina smiled as she neared their quarters, eager to return to the warmth of Cullen's embrace now that she had eased her mind. She opened the door, careful not to disturb the squeaky hinges as she slipped inside and closed it quietly behind herself. She tiptoed over to the ladder.

She reached the top rung, her smile faltering as her gaze fell upon Cullen. She flung herself onto the loft floor, sprinting to his side. She clambered onto the bed, catching his fist before it could connect with the headboard.

'Amatus,' she said. She shook him hard but he did not wake, his thrashing nearly throwing her from the bed. She grasped his wrists and straddled his stomach, forcing his arms down to the pillows with all her strength. 'Amatus!'

Cullen's eyes opened, panic in his tawny gaze. He pushed at her, lifting his arms, but she held firm, gritting her teeth as she battled his strength. 'Cullen, it's me.'

The fight left his body, his eyes finding her shining serpentstone gaze even in the darkened room. His chest heaved, the panic slowly leaving his eyes as he lost himself in the depth of her gaze. He took a shuddering breath and she released his wrists, framing his face with her hands.

'That's it, Amatus, focus on me,' she whispered, leaning down until their noses touched, 'you're safe.'

His arms encircled her, clinging to her as the remnants of the nightmare lingered. She did not release his gaze, not even when the rhythm of his breath synced with hers, his panicked heartbeat slowing in his chest.

He sighed deeply. 'I fear one day I will not wake from these nightmares.'

'They will pass,' she said, 'until then, you will always find comfort in my arms.'

He clutched her to his chest, fingers entwining in her hair. He inhaled deeply of her rosy scent, holding her tighter. He pressed his face to her neck, surprised to find her skin chilled. 'My love, you're cold.' He clutched at her tighter, his waking mind recognising the different fabric over her back. 'And dressed. Where have you been?'

'I couldn't sleep,' she said, 'I went to talk to Benet. He seems saner, at least.'

'I am not inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt just yet,' Cullen grumbled.

'Neither am I, but I will still discuss it with Malakar in the morning,' she said, 'it is for him to decide, not me. Let's not dwell on it.'

She pulled from his arms, sitting beside him. She stripped her pants and his sweater, returning to the warmth of their bed. She snuggled into Cullen's embrace, nuzzling the fine hair on his chest.

Cullen sucked in a sharp breath when she placed her cold feet on his legs, but he did not protest. Instead, he held her tighter, entwining their limbs until he was unsure where he ended and she began. He grasped her thigh with a calloused palm, coaxing her knee over his hip, drawing her tight against his chest, reassuring himself that she was truly in his arms.

'Would you sing for me, my love?'

Valina pressed a kiss to his chest. 'Of course, Amatus,' she said, and so she sang softly to him in Tevene, her breath falling against his skin, her hand resting over his heart. He closed his eyes, clutching her tighter as her voice drifted over him, the tension of his terror leaving his broad shoulders. She did not know how long she sang, but soon he drifted off to peaceful sleep, and still, she sang, hoping in some way to protect him from his nightmares.


	19. Boundaries

**Chapter Nineteen**

 **Boundaries**

The day after Benet D'or was sentenced in Skyhold's Great Hall, the red lyrium amulet opened the mysterious chest confiscated from the D'or estate. Used mostly to house valuables, few leads were recovered from the contents, but with Benet's cooperation, the Inquisition shut down a key red lyrium mine, chipping away at another precious resource from the Venatori.

Although Benet was no longer imprisoned after his claims were confirmed and although he issued a _lengthy_ and elaborate formal apology to Inquisition members, his position among the Inquisition remained precarious. Even knowing that the Marquis had been corrupted by the red lyrium did little to recover his reputation among the core Inquisition members. His estate remained under Inquisition control and would continue to serve as a base and barracks until such a time as the Inquisitor could be sure of Benet's sanity.

Despite the unfortunate interruption of the Sahrnia mission, the new recruits assigned to Valina were making progress, their stamina and speed increasing steadily after ten gruelling hours each day under Valina's command. Their routine was rigorous, often called brutal by the men and women under her watch, but after only a fortnight under 'Vicious Val's' thumb many could see the changes in themselves, could feel their heightened strength and focus.

The recruits were almost ready to discard their training daggers, a moment Valina looked forward to. Both Cullen and Cassandra had forbidden her from carrying her own daggers lest she get too carried away with an upstart or unruly recruit. Little did they know she kept a small dagger concealed in each of her vambraces.

Not that she'd needed them. _Yet_. None had forgotten Valina's first display of strength; fear and respect for her grew in equal measure, except in the eyes of one man, who feared her above all of the new recruits. Valina found great amusement in appearing behind Louis unexpectedly, making the poor man shriek in terror with a simple tap on the shoulder. She and Varric had a wager on whether or not Louis would faint after the next 'surprise'.

Valina leant against the edge of the training ring, looking up at the darkening sky. Orange and red hues painted the sunset into the persistent clouds that had threatened rain all day. The air was dense with the coming rain and the smell of a storm, a few drops splashing on her cheeks accompanied by rolling thunder as the clouds began to unleash their fury.

She stretched out tired muscles before turning to face the Herald's Rest, in no hurry despite the imminent downpour. She expected to see Cullen waiting for her with a smile, leaning against the wall with his arms folded loosely and the sole of his boot resting on the cobblestones. Instead, she was met with a matching serpentstone gaze.

Clearly, she could avoid a father-daughter talk no longer.

Valina prided herself in logic, in her ability to be rational above all else; her logical mind was what often kept her alive. But, after almost a decade of working alone following Mireille's betrayal, she'd forgotten what it was like to be a part of something, what it was like to feel a love so deep it swelled and burned like a living being deep inside her chest – until she joined the Inquisition.

When it came to the ones she loved, the lines between reason and emotion were becoming blurred. Logically she knew it was pointless to still be upset by Dranus' words. She loved her father, after all, but the sight of him leaning so casually in his sleek dark robes still sent her stomach churning with anger at the memory of their confrontation, at his ignorant and hateful comments.

Cullen may have forgiven Dranus but, even now, after weeks of avoiding the burden of their looming conversation, she was unsure she could do the same.

She approached with steady steps, lifting her hood from her head and dropping it back. His posture was relaxed but she could see the tension in his shoulders and the tightness of his jaw.

'Father,' she said, pausing a few feet away, keeping her arms firmly at her side.

Shadows danced in his eyes at the cold greeting, but he managed a tentative smile. 'I hoped I could find you here. I've hardly seen you since you returned from Sahrnia.'

'I'm here every day, as requested by the Inquisitor,' she said, voice even despite the slow churn in her gut, the unsettling curl of emotions that enveloped her thoughts.

He pushed off from the wall, taking a half step forward, pausing when Valina's gaze darted down. The space between them was heavy, full of unspoken words that heaved between them like a storm. The rain began to fall in heavy droplets as if sensing their inner turmoil, more thunder booming above them, but neither moved from their place.

'Valina, I don't expect forgiveness but I'm sure you can understand that I was worried about you and Cullen. Dorian said you were both drugged and imprisoned by Mireille. I know you had a rocky history with her, but I never thought she would do such a thing.'

 _You don't know the half of it_. 'What's done is done. I won't dwell on it.'

Dranus sighed, the deep baritone of his voice vibrating with pent up emotion. 'I just want to know that you're both well. Your mother has only told me so much.'

'She respects my decisions and my boundaries,' Valina said. It was a cheap shot, she knew, but her ire was still high enough to take it, even if her tongue tasted bitter as she said the words. Instinct always told her to kick someone while they're down, even emotionally.

Dranus pursed his lips, nodding solemnly. 'I deserve that.'

Valina watched him for a moment, gauging the emotions that passed in his eyes – had she ever seen them so dull? – and the small changes in his expression.

'We're both fine,' she said finally, voice softer, 'no ill effects so far, father.'

'I'm glad,' Dranus said as he held her gaze, 'and I'm proud of you.'

'For what?'

A mischievous smile curled his lips. 'For breaking D'or's finger,' he said, 'I can't tell you how many times I wanted to when he kept pestering you with those lacklustre letters and sappy, poorly written poems, but your mother insisted it was not a proper way to deal with him.'

Valina could not fight her smile. 'I should have broken his arm all those years ago for his poor attempt at poetry alone.'

Dranus' smile cracked, his laughter filtering through the rain, shattering the heavy space between them until Valina could not help but laugh with him. When he managed to regain his breath, he opened his arms a fraction, the movement so tentative that they barely appeared to move, but Valina knew the gesture well.

She closed the distance between them, allowing Dranus to envelop her in his embrace, his arms strong and tight around her as he pressed his cheek to her hair, unwilling to relinquish her after enduring weeks of the aching divide between them.

'I am so sorry, my little raven,' he whispered, placing a kiss upon her head.

She hugged him tighter. 'I know. I forgive you, father.'

The rain poured now, and still, he clutched at her, relief coursing through his veins. They stood there until the deluge drenched their clothes and hair, pulling back only when an icy breeze ripped through the fortress.

Dranus clasped her hands in his, bringing them to his lips. 'Go, sweetheart, dry off and stay warm. I'm sure your Amatus is waiting for you.' He pressed a kiss on her gloved knuckles before he relinquished his hold and swept a sodden curl of her dark hair behind her ear. 'Come see me and your mother for tea in the morning.'

'Night, father,' she said, smiling at him before she rushed to the door of the Herald's Rest.

Valina stood in the doorway, shedding her coat to shake off the excess water before she entered, her boots squeaking on the floorboards. She hung her coat up, knowing that no one would dare touch it.

Krem waved at her from his usual perch across the room and she returned the gesture as she headed straight for the fire. She warmed her hands, the heat drying her off somewhat before she turned to search for a free table.

She stepped over the bench, settling in to wait for Cullen. She shook out her hair before she curled it into a messy bun atop her head. She allowed Maryden's song to lull her weary mind.

The conversation with her father had gone better than expected. She knew it would take a long time for her to truly harden her heart against the memory of his hateful words, but she was certain she had done the right thing. She loved her father dearly, knew that he had acted not out of malice but out of love for her, no matter how misplaced his attack had been; he was making every effort to right his wrongs.

Hands grasped her shoulder, squeezing gently, tugging her out of her thoughts. She could not hide her smile as a stubbled chin grazed the shell of her ear, followed by firm lips.

'You're dripping water on me,' she said, tilting her head to look up at him.

Cullen smiled down at her, scar tugging at his lip in a wolfish smile. Damp curls of his golden hair clung to his forehead and droplet caught in his stubbled chin. He bent to place a kiss on her forehead before he settled into the seat beside her.

'Sorry I'm late,' he said as he hooked an arm around her waist to drag her towards him, the heat of his thigh comforting against hers, 'I was reviewing a few reports and I'm afraid time got away from me. I admit that I only looked out the window when lightning flashed.'

'A Commander's job is never done,' Valina said, leaning into him.

Cullen sighed. 'It would seem so, but that's the way of war, I suppose,' he said, glancing at her with as much of a smile as he could muster.

'Will we be returning to a lake in our room?'

'No,' he said, lips twitching in a smirk, 'I had Vivienne come by earlier to place a protective seal on the roof.'

She nudged his side with her elbow, earning an _oof_ from him as she said, 'a new roof would do the same thing.'

'Vivienne said the same, but there's plenty of other things that need fixing first,' he said, 'the roof can wait.' He ignored her quiet scoff. 'How are the recruits?'

'Improving.'

'Louis is still terrified of you, I assume?'

Valina smirked. 'Extremely.'

'And so he should be,' Cullen said, 'I'm pretty sure Bull would have paid to see you toss him across the ring.'

'He does like a strong woman,' she said, trailing soft touches along his inner thigh, 'but, alas, I must reserve my strength for you, Commander. I need to keep my lion sated, or else he might just consume me.'

Heat flickered in Cullen's avid gaze, muscles dancing at her touch beneath the thick fabric of his pants. He pressed his thigh closer, a smirk lifting his lips as his hand slid down to clutch at her arse, the firm squeeze he gave almost lifting her from the seat.

'I plan to do so the moment we–'

'May I join you?'

Valina glanced up at Malakar's voice as he paused precariously at the edge of the table, stopping so suddenly in his advance he almost stumbled. He glanced between them, clearly worried he had interrupted.

Cullen reluctantly released his grasp, hand moving back to her waist. Valina smiled, squeezing his leg in a silent promise that they would continue their conversation later.

'Of course,' she said, gesturing across the table. She caught the eye of one of the servers, hailing them for an extra flagon and plate of food for them to share.

Malakar settled onto the bench across from them. 'I spend so much of my time answering letters or dealing with ambassadors these days, I hardly get past the main hall,' he said, his lithe frame slumping with the weight of yet another long day. Despite the hunch of his shoulders, his eyes were bright as he glanced around the warm tavern to soak in the atmosphere before he asked. 'How are you both?'

Valina glanced at Cullen. 'We're in good health,' she said, 'no noticeable side effects or injuries from the concoction Mireille fed us.'

'And Benet hasn't bothered you?'

'No. I've not actually seen him since the day after we returned.'

'Luckily for him,' Cullen mumbled.

Cullen accepted that the amulet was responsible for warping Benet's mind, to a degree, but he had no intentions to forgive and forget. Benet's advance on Valina at the D'or estate was still fresh in Cullen's mind, his anger flaring at the thought of the faint bruises that still marked her bronzed skin. The fact that he and Valina had been imprisoned, drugged, and injured because of Benet's plan did not help the Marquis' cause.

'Will Dorian join us too?' Valina asked, turning the conversation away from the raw subject, 'I've hardly seen the both of you since we returned from Sahrnia.'

Malakar sighed. 'No, unfortunately. I have scarcely seen him myself, between my seemingly endless list of responsibilities and his research. He's in the library with Dagna at the moment, Dranus too probably, and I expect they will be there for at least another hour.'

'Have they made any more progress?' Cullen asked.

'It would seem so. They think they've worked out how the amulet was made and the safest way to destroy it, in case we come across another,' he said, 'the magic is unlike anything I have seen. I hope we don't encounter any more of them.'

Cullen nodded, eyes staring absently into his flagon. He had laid eyes on the amulet only three times since Valina discovered it on Benet, but she knew its very presence in Skyhold was enough to set him on edge. His nightmares had flared, becoming more frequent and violent. Each night held the same image; a recurring terror of Valina tainted with red lyrium, her body twisted beyond recognition by the corruptive substance. It had taken more than a half to calm him enough to sleep only the night before.

'I admit I am here for a reason, apart from your company,' Malakar said, 'you've had some experience hunting dragons haven't you Valina?'

'Yes, but that was a few years ago. I'm reasonably versed in dragon breeds and habits, but if you have questions you would be better to ask the Iron Bull or my mother. I'm sure they know a great deal more.'

Malakar sighed. 'Bull is… occupied,' he said, glancing across to the Qunari at the bar whose focus lay entirely on the brunette server who had become his regular tryst, 'and your mother is in a meeting with Josephine which I only just escaped from five minutes ago. I was hoping you might consider looking at the description, at least. If we are to go hunting yet another dragon, I would like to have an idea of what it is before we leave so I can prepare. The last dragon we faced gave Dorian severe cold burns. Apart from you, there aren't many other people I can ask that won't just sarcastically say 'dragon' when I ask about the breed.'

'I'll take a look then.'

Malakar held out a letter between two slender fingers. 'I have a hunch that it may be similar to the breed you fought.'

Valina took the missive from him, unfolding the dirt-splattered sheet. Her eyes fell upon the page. Clearly, it was written in a hurry; tight, low words were scrawled across the parchment, letters blending into letters until the script was almost illegible.

* * *

 _Inquisitor,_

 _If there's one thing Emprise du Lion is good at producing, it's dragons. A third dragon landed on the other side of Judicael's Crossing in Leontine's ring the day before the writing of this letter, and it has certainly made itself comfortable. Before it touched down, we received reports that it has been wreaking havoc in Emprise du Lion and the surrounding areas, causing even more trouble than the previous beasts you cleared out in recent months._

 _We sent scouts over the crossing shortly after it made landfall. From the information we have managed to gather, it appears to be a high dragon, but we have been unable to get close enough to ascertain more than a few facts: it breathes fire, and it is incredibly perceptive. Unfortunately, we only know this because a group of scouts almost ended up as crispy dragon snacks._

 _We would appreciate some assistance in clearing out this dragon before it incinerates more of the locals' crops and eats all the herds. As you know, Venatori and red lyrium ravaged the area. There is little enough food to go around already, and the dragon is not sharing._

 _Maker be with you, Herald._

 _Scout Lillin._

* * *

'It _could_ be a Highland Ravager,' Valina said, 'they are fire breathers, and they love a disastrous rampage. They'll consume entire herds and incinerate whole settlements, and then look for more to do the next day. Are there any other dragons in the vicinity?'

'Not anymore. We took care of two others that landed while we were last in Emprise du Lion, just before we received word from Leliana and Josephine that you and Cullen had not returned from your mission to Sahrnia.'

'Count yourself lucky. If there were other dragons in the vicinity, the Emprise would be faring much worse.'

'Why?'

'They're more destructive when they share territory.'

Malakar sighed. 'Excellent,' he said bitterly, 'I best pray that another dragon doesn't decide to make an appearance before we can get there. I've fought enough dragons in my life, as far as I'm concerned.'

Valina smirked. 'Take Bull, he'll be happy.'

Malakar glanced over at the Qunari again, a smile cracking his weary expression. 'Too happy, probably.' His gaze returned to Valina. 'If you're content with the progress of your recruits, I'd like for you to come with me as well.'

Cullen's arm tightened around her, just enough for her to feel the bit of his armour against her back, but not enough for it to be obvious to the outside observer. Normally, she would jump at the chance for a dragon hunt, but she unsure if she was prepared to part from Cullen so soon after Sahrnia.

'You've defeated several dragons in recent months. I'm not sure my presence will benefit much when you have so many skilled companions.'

'If it is a Highland Ravager, as it appears to be, your experience would be invaluable.'

Valina pursed her lips. She could say no. It was a simple enough word, and she had no qualms using it. She sensed that Cullen wanted her to. The resources she could gather from such a dragon, however, would be invaluable for the Inquisition. Few outside of the Voclains knew that dragon bones, scales, and other remains had such a diverse array of applications. If she was there to slay the dragon, she could ensure the resources were gathered correctly and carried straight back to Amira to craft.

'Is Varric staying? Or Sera?'

'Yes, they are. Varric isn't particularly keen on dragon hunting, and I want Sera here. Her pranks have been surprisingly effective at maintaining morale.'

'Then I'll leave notes on the strength and dexterity drills that I planned to run this week, and instructions to begin training them with a bow thereafter. I'm sure Varric and Sera can lead them for a week or two.'

Cullen glanced down at her. He would not take her agency away, but she sensed they would be having a very different and somewhat less sexy conversation when they returned to their quarters.

'Thank you, Valina. It's nice to think we might walk into a dragon fight with the upper hand for once.' Malakar took a deep drink from his flagon, grimacing at the strength of the ale. 'I don't think I'll ever get used to that bitter aftertaste.'

'I'm sure Dorian has a nice bottle of wine hidden away for you somewhere,' Valina said.

Malakar glanced down, fingers tracing the handle of the flagon with a slender finger. 'He's saving it, for when this is over,' he said, and Valina caught the subtle turn of his wrist as he stared at the anchor, 'if it ever is.'

'It will be.'

Malakar forced a smile. 'I'm sure it will. I just hope we can all make it through.'

The words seemed to echo between them, a heavy silence following that was only broken by the start of Maryden's next song.

Malakar seemed to shake himself from the depths of his thoughts. 'I should go drag Bull away from the bar or else I may not be able to find him tomorrow morning. We'll leave an hour after first light.'

He drained the last of his flagon, grimacing around the bitterness of the drink as he rose from the seat. He walked to the Iron Bull's side, clapping the Qunari on the shoulder, ducking to dodge Bull's horn as he turned suddenly to face the Inquisitor.

Cullen's grip tightened on her side, and she glanced at him.

'Let's finish dinner, Amatus,' she said, squeezing his thigh. She could sense he wanted to argue in that moment but her stomach grumbled in earnest and his face softened marginally. They returned to their meal, eating in silence, easily clearing the plate in their hunger.

They left coins for their meal and ale and collected Valina's coat. As she shrugged her coat on, she prepared herself to receive the cold shoulder treatment for the whole walk back to their quarters, but Cullen turned her shoulders so she faced him and he reached to her back to pull her hood over her head. He smiled down at her as he tugged it tight around her ears, opening the door and ushering her out into the downpour, their boots splashing in the puddles that collected in the rough cobblestone on the battlements as they raced through the rain.

They rushed into their quarters, shaking off the rain once under cover. Cullen shrugged off his surcoat, hanging it with up beside the door as he shook water from his hair, the strands dishevelled from the action. The mad dash through the torrential rain from the Herald's Rest had left them soaking, his clothes saturated even beneath his armour.

Valina dropped her hood back and shed her coat, hanging it up with his surcoat, visibly shivering in her drenched tunic.

'Andraste's tits it's cold,' she muttered as she rubbed furiously at her arms, moving towards the ladder.

Cullen followed her up to the loft, turning words over in his mind, unsure of how to approach the subject of her mission with the Inquisitor. He stripped off the layer above his cuirass, hanging it on the handle of their chest of drawers.

He stepped closer to the bed, reaching out for her. She stilled when he touched her arm, but did not resist as he gently turned her until she faced him, her serpentstone gaze guarded.

'You don't need to go with them. The Inquisitor and his companions are quite capable of handling a dragon.'

'He asked for my help, Cullen. Is that not why the Inquisition sought me out in the first place? For my knowledge and skills?' she asked, her hand cupping his stubbled cheek.

Cullen sighed, his jaw tightening beneath her caress. He remembered well that evening in the war room when Leliana had determined to seek out Valina Voclain on the off chance it might lead to their mysterious informant. He had assumed then that their search would be futile. Never in a hundred years would he have guessed that they would find the mysterious woman clad in the serpentstone dress, let alone that he would hold that very woman in his arms or fall so deeply for her.

The thought of her leaving without him made his heart ache, made fear surge and claw at his mind in a desperate clamour. He wanted to demand she stay, but the rawness of the anger he'd seen at the D'or estate was still fresh in his mind, the memory flooding him.

 _Valina's face went blank. She rose, turning away from him. A disturbing stillness settled over the room, her body frozen and statuesque. For moments that seemed like hours, she stood there, her eyes focused on the window across the room. He could sense the quiet, writhing anger that surged inside her._

 _Valina turned suddenly. 'Coffin it is.'_

 _Cullen shot forward, grasping Valina's shoulders. She fought his grip, hands vicelike on his wrists._

 _'Let me go, Cullen.'_

 _'Valina, as satisfying as it might be to kill him, it would only be fleeting. Wouldn't you much rather see him shut in a cell and stripped of his title? Disgraced?'_

 _'I want him to hurt.'_

 _'I broke his nose, my love, and the Bull is watching D'or after hearing him insult both you and Malakar. He is hurting.'_

 _'A few more broken bones can't hurt,' she snarled, eyes still burning with her anger, 'kaffas, why does everyone want to put me in a box?'_

 _'I don't,' he whispered and the fight left Valina's body at the quiet words. She looked up at him with wide eyes as he cupped her cheeks. 'I don't, Valina. Nor will I ever let anyone do so.'_

He would stand by those words, despite the clamour of anxiety that tightened his chest, and despite the dread and fear that welled inside his heart. He had to believe that a woman as fierce as his Valina would always return to him, no matter what she faced.

'I know, my love,' he said, lowering his voice as he touched his forehead to hers, 'I'm just… it's been mere weeks since we returned from Sahrnia. I know well you could defeat a dragon blindfolded but after this business with Mireille and D'or I'm not ready to let you out of my sight.'

'Nor I you, Amatus, but I have seen the destruction a Highland Ravager leaves in its wake, and the Emprise is close enough to Skyhold that it may grow tired and fall upon this fortress after decimating all in its path. I have committed myself to this cause, just as you have committed yourself as Commander of the Inquisition, and I will see it through.'

Cullen sighed, though a smile danced on his lips. 'Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to both love and despise your stalwart mind?'

She trailed her hands down his neck, deft fingers tugging at the buckles on his cuirass. 'I'm not the stubborn warrior, Commander.'

'And yet you're stubborn enough to be one,' he said as she assisted him out of the body of his armour before her attention turned to his pauldrons and vambraces.

They piled the final pieces of his armour upon the chest at the end of their bed and he stripped off his gloves and sodden shirt, laying them beside his armour. When he turned around Valina was sitting on the edge of the bed attempting to untie her boots, cold fingertips fumbling with the cords.

Cullen knelt in front of her, his hands still warm from his gloves. He waved her fingers aside, quickly removing the muddy shoes from her feet and tucking them beneath the bed.

Even kneeling, he was almost as tall as her when he straightened.

Valina peeled off her damp gloves, throwing them aside so she could frame his face with her hands. She traced his bottom lip with her thumb and his gaze flickered to her mouth, flecks of gold lighting his eyes until she shivered from the cold.

Cullen frowned at her. 'We need to get you out of these wet clothes…'

Thought fled as his eyes trailed down to her sodden tunic, breath hitching as his gaze fell upon her.

'You wore this on purpose,' he muttered, his voice growing husky as his gaze locked onto a dusky peak, the light fabric clinging to the soft curve of her breasts, to the tight peaks of her nipples.

Cullen did not wait for her to speak, did not wait for her to confirm what he knew to be true. He tugged at the hem of the taunting fabric, dragging the garment over her head to bare her to his golden gaze. He cupped her with warm hands, a hiss escaping her at the sudden heat of his calloused palms, the sound quickly turning to a moan as he kneaded the soft mounds of flesh, thumb tracing just below her budding nipples until she shivered not from cold, but from need.

He brought a dusky peak to his lips, the heat of his mouth enveloping it, licking and sucking until she arched to his touch. He groaned at the exquisite taste of her, at the intoxicating scent of rain and roses that overwhelmed his senses as he kissed and teased the rigid tips.

He released the peak only to rasp his cheek along it, a deep moan vibrating in her chest, her nipple so sensitive from his eager ministrations that the harsh caress of his stubble blurred the lines between pleasure and pain.

Valina did not fight him as he laid a heavy hand on her stomach, pushing her back onto the bed with a roughness akin to a shove. She propped herself up on her elbows as he ripped at the tie on her pants, dragging the garment from her body before he clasped her knees.

He spread her to his golden gaze, her body thrumming with desire as the tip of his tongue traced the firm line of his lips, lingering on the jagged scar that she loved so dearly.

She almost fell back again as he hooked his hands beneath her knees, a short, surprised cry escaping her as he dragged her towards him until her arse almost left the edge of the bed.

He settled her calves onto his back, grazing his stubbled jaw along her supple skin, her body breaking out in shivers at his hot breath fell upon the delicate flesh at the apex of her thighs. A groan wracked his body as he slid his tongue between her folds, lapping at her luscious cunt, her honey coating his tongue.

'Valina…' He lifted his eyes, seeking the green jewels he coveted so, making sure she was captured in his golden gaze as he rasped, 'I will _consume you.'_

He clutched at her arse with splayed fingers, trimmed nails digging into the giving flesh as he lifted her to his mouth to feast upon her, ravenous in his craving for her sweet honey. He would never get enough of the exquisite taste of her, of her husky pleas and mewls, of the slow roll of her hips as she offered her body to him.

He found the tight bud of her clit, his tongue darting over it and around it, her hips jerking in response to every teasing flick. He held her firmer, exploring her with his mouth, the vibration of his moans adding to the intensity of the pleasure he gave until she arched from the bed, hands clutching at the covers as he sucked at the throbbing bundle of nerves, teasing her sensitive flesh with flat teeth to make her writhe and thrash against his hold, her thighs tightening around his ears.

She shuddered as his firm tongue found her core, dipping into the wet heat of her. A harsh cry caught in her throat, an ache blooming in her needy cunt, her silken walls squeezing the tip of his tongue as it stimulated and probed at her entrance.

'Cullen, please…'

He slid his tongue along the length of her slit, eliciting another shudder as he found her serpentstone gaze again and licked his lips.

'Please _what_?'

She dropped her knees from his shoulder as she cupped his face, nails digging into his hairline behind his ears as she dragged him up from the floor. She claimed his mouth, moaning at the feel and taste of his wicked tongue as it danced with hers.

Cullen needed no more encouragement. He ripped at the tie on his pants, shoving them down his legs. He plunged into her waiting body, growling as her hot flesh sheathed him, shudders wracking his large frame at the intensity of the pleasure he found in her.

He planted an elbow on the mattress, his other hand clutching at her thigh as he drove into her again and again, the heavy frame of the bed creaking under his forceful thrusts, the firm muscles of his arse bunching with every movement.

Valina's nails bit into his back, scraping over old scars and heated flesh, his body bowing with unbridled ecstasy at her carnal grasp. Pressure built, his cock throbbing, heavy sack tightening with every buck of his hips. He clenched his jaw, focusing on her sharp breaths, her core pulsing as she neared her climax.

He caught her chin with his hand, turning her face to his, claiming her lips in a desperate kiss before he met her serpentstone gaze.

'Come for me,' he growled, feeling her needy cunt tighten around his cock at the demand, a moan breaking from his lips, 'ahh, yes. That's it, my love, that's it.'

Her back went rigid, the slick walls of her core clamping down on his throbbing length. She screamed for him and he roared for her, his thrusts losing their rhythm in his fervour as he chased his climax. He hilted himself as his seed burst forth, pumping eagerly into her luscious core, his hips jerking and stuttering as pleasure burned through his veins.

Pulses danced up Cullen's spine, the pleasure of their love-making lingering sweetly on his skin like a caress. He slid his sensitive cock from her heat, collapsing to his knees at the side of the bed. He laid his cheek on her thigh as his chest heaved and ached for air. He glanced up, seeing her chest rise and fall as she struggled for breath, her breasts quivering, her arms limp at her sides. He rose on shaking legs, dropping onto the bed beside her, and she turned to face him.

Valina smiled languidly, reaching out to trace his jaw with fingers, her touch tender. He caught her hand against his cheek, turning his head to place a kiss on her palm. As he stared into the depths of her gaze his heart ached at the realisation that this would likely be the last night they shared for weeks, perhaps longer, he feared.

He reached for her, drawing her to his chest, breathing in her rosy scent until he believed he would drown in it. The thought of waking up to an empty bed devoid of her warmth and her love was almost more than he could bear; he'd grown so used to her presence he'd never even considered how he would endure without it.

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the night to last, willing the storm above to rage for an eternity if it would keep her in his arms.

'I don't want you to go.'

'I know, Amatus.'

'Then don't,' he whispered.

Valina held him tighter. 'It's no longer up to me.'

'You said you work alone. Refuse.'

She pulled back as far as he allowed, meeting his tawny gaze. 'I'm a part of this now, I'm part of the Inquisition. I've worked alone for so long because I've never been a part of something that mattered before. I've found a place where I belong, something I assumed I would never have after Mireille betrayed me.'

'You belong with _me_.'

She fought the emotions that welled inside her at his declaration. 'And I do not deny that, Amatus. It does not change the fact that I have committed to this, and I will see it through.'

He sighed against her skin, resigned to her resolute mind. He knew it was futile to argue, knew he was wasting precious moments with her by debating with a disposition so firm and unmoving that it could double as a wall.

His shoulders shuddered and he pulled her deep into his embrace, crushing her into his chest, his voice muffled by her shoulder as he said, 'promise you'll write daily if you can, no matter how brief. Let me know you're safe.'

'I will.'

'I will miss you so much.'

'And I you, Amatus,' she said, running her fingers through his golden hair in an attempt to sooth him, 'I love you.'

His heart swelled, answering the song of her affection as he said, 'I love you, too.'


	20. Here With Me

I apologise for the delay in publishing this chapter. Unfortunately, I suffered many technical difficulties over the weekend with this website.  
Updates will resume as normal on Friday 30 June 2017.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty**

 **Here With Me**

It was still dark when Cullen woke under a heavy cloud of dread, despite the reassuring weight at his side, and despite the warmth of her skin against his own. He rolled to curl himself around her back, angry that his sleeping mind had allowed him to wander from her embrace.

He clung to her, desperate to brand himself with the warmth of her skin and the scent of roses that danced in the air around them. He buried his face in her neck, in the soft mane of dark curls that lay all around her head, tousled from slumber. He knew he had only moments before she would wake, her deep breaths coming faster and shallower as her body roused from sleep, but he would cling to this moment for an eternity if the Maker would allow it.

'Amatus,' Valina mumbled, fingers lazily caressing the arm he'd locked around her waist, 'you'll break me should you hold much tighter.'

Cullen eased his grip – barely – to allow her to roll onto her back. He stared down at her lovely face, felt her serpentstone eyes analysing him as he gazed upon her.

'Did you have a nightmare?' she asked, nimble fingers reaching up to trace his stubbled jaw.

He shook his head. 'No, I just– I'm still not sure I'll be able to let you leave,' he admitted, calloused hand cupping the soft curve of her face, 'but I know I have no chance of keeping you from doing something once you've made up your mind.'

'And so you are wise,' she said, lifting her head to brush her lips against his, 'let's go get some tea. I said I would meet my parents this morning.'

Cullen glanced up at the broken corner of the ceiling. 'It's still dark.'

'My father will have heard about the mission to Emprise du Lion shortly after we left the tavern last night. They're probably already waiting for us.'

She pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose before she slipped from his grasp. Cullen laid back into the pillows, covering his eyes with his arm to give her privacy as she took care of her morning needs. He did not rise until he heard her rummaging around in their drawers.

He moved behind her, grasping her hips as he pressed himself against her back. She paused, tipping her head back onto his shoulder as he kissed her neck.

'Promise me you're planning to pack smallclothes.'

'And why do you say that?'

'You're going to be travelling with the Iron Bull, potentially for weeks, and half of your tunics are near see through. I appreciate that fact _greatly_ , but I'd prefer that Bull doesn't get a chance to do the same.'

She laughed. 'I can't very well hide my spare picks anywhere else, so yes, I'll be wearing smallclothes,' she said, reaching back to caress his stubbled jaw, 'but don't worry, I'll leave my silk gloves here for you, Amatus.'

He smirked against her neck, nipping at her skin playfully before he moved to her side to find his own smalls in the drawer.

Valina prepared a travel pack while Cullen strapped on his armour, then kicked the bag over the edge of the loft floor before she assisted him with the hard to reach buckles.

Cullen caught her hand in his as they walked around the battlements to the Voclains' quarters.

'Are you sure they'll be awake?' he asked as they approached.

'Quite certain,' she said. She rapped sharply on the door, and moments later Amira's voice drifted to them through the heavy wood, her clipped steps following.

For a moment, anxiety sparked in Cullen's mind. The last time he had knocked on this door, Valina had greeted him naked. Although he reasoned it was unlikely the Marquise would do the same, he could not help but feel a note of trepidation when the latch clicked and the hinges creaked. He breathed an inward sigh of relief to see Amira fully dressed, her thick auburn tresses pulled back in a neat braid.

Amira smiled warmly, taking Valina's hand to draw her into a tight embrace. 'Valina, darling,' she said, 'we hoped we'd see you this morning.'

She turned her attention from her daughter, reaching for Cullen. He stiffened as her arms encircled his neck, he was so surprised by her embrace, but the tension slowly eased from his shoulders as he realised that she was simply hugging him.

She drew back, squeezing his hands for a moment. 'It's good to see you both. Come, we just prepared some tea.'

She waved them into the quarters – one of the largest available in Skyhold – and ushered them to the table. Dranus looked up from the book he'd been buried in, eyes lighting up when they fell upon his daughter.

Cullen caught the spark of relief in Dranus' green gaze as he placed the book on the table, standing to greet them, but any trepidation he apparently felt vanished when his daughter went straight into his arms.

They each took a seat around the small table and Dranus poured a cup of strong, freshly brewed tea for each of them.

'Malakar mentioned that you'll be travelling to Emprise du Lion to assist with a dragon problem. A Highland Ravager, by the sounds of it.'

'The description in the report he received matches a Ravager, but I won't know for sure until I see it. I'll be leaving shortly after sunrise.'

'You're not travelling together?'

'As much as I'd love to tussle with a dragon, we're receiving more and more information each day that points us in the direction of Corypheus, so my duties here are more pressing,' Cullen said, 'Unfortunately, wars don't prepare for themselves.'

'The Inquisitor mentioned that you're closing in. Perhaps it will be over soon.'

Cullen offered as much of a smile as he could muster, even though he knew that Amira would see right through the half-hearted look. 'Perhaps.'

* * *

Cullen watched as the accompanying scouts loaded Valina's pack into the cart, his heart sinking as the reality of the situation hit. He faced weeks without her in his arms, without the song of her laugh, or her soothing voice.

Valina secured a few personal items to her horse, checking the straps on the saddle before she turned to him. He reached for her, drawing her into his embrace before he pressed a kiss to her forehead and cupped her cheeks to tip her head back. He claimed her lips, kissing her until they were breathless, until his fear and anxiety melted away, replaced by the sweet taste of her lips and the warmth of her touch.

He rested his forehead against hers. 'Be safe, my love.'

She stroked his stubbled jaw, and he read the promise in her gaze. 'I'll be home soon, Amatus.'

'I look forward to your letters.'

She stood on her toes, pressing a kiss to his nose just to coax a smile from his lips.

He released her reluctantly, taking her hand to support her as she climbed atop the massive steed. Once she'd settled into the saddle he squeezed her thigh, the captured her hand a final time to press a kiss to her fingertips.

'I'll see you in a few weeks.'

'I'll be waiting, my love.'

Another horse trotted up behind Cullen. 'If you two are quite finished with your pining, we'll get going.'

'You're travelling with your Amatus, Dorian. I think you can afford us a few minutes,' Valina said, throwing a smirk at the mage before she returned her attention to Cullen, bending down to steal a final kiss, ignoring the lip-smacking sounds that Dorian, Malakar, and the Iron Bull made as they rode past.

'Oh, hush. Are you three children?' Cassandra asked, following closely behind the raucous companions. Valina glanced up and the Seeker nodded, a soft smile lighting her lips. 'It is hard to leave behind the one you love.'

Cullen tapped Valina's horse, stepping back as the mare trotted to catch up with the group, the cart following closely behind.

He stood there until the caravan disappeared from view, knowing that a piece of his heart was travelling with her into the light of the morning sun. And still, he remained, even as Skyhold came to life around him, a part of him hoping in vein she would return.

* * *

Ser Cullen Rutherford,

Commander of the Inquisition at Skyhold.

 _Dear Cullen,_

 _I'm sure I've told you how much I despise travelling in a caravan. It's terribly dull and slow. I am honestly surprised that the Venatori have not simply outrun the Inquisition. It would not be difficult considering the speed at which we must travel. I'm certain that the horses must be almost as bored as I am. They can hardly break past a trot without a wheel threatening to fall off the cart. Whoever made these carts wouldn't know quality craftsmanship if it slapped them on the arse. The moment I return from this mission, I'm sending letters to the best carpenters in Thedas and I will personally drag them to Skyhold if I have to. In fact, I may send a letter to mother. She has contacts in Ferelden and Orlais who should be able to build satisfactory_ carts _in a matter of days. At the very least, I'm glad that we have Master Dennet's steeds. They are strong, resilient, and have_ admirable _stamina (almost as admirable as yours, Amatus), and I sincerely doubt any other beast could carry the Iron Bull for as long without breaking its back._

 _We've stopped to make camp for the night a short distance from where the river meets the road. I am looking forward to a dip in the water, even if it's not as enjoyable without you. The winds were strong on the road today, and I have dust in places I scarcely thought dust would be able to reach. I promise I will stay far away from the prying eyes of a certain Qunari. Although I would proudly flaunt the claim you have laid on my skin through your kisses and bites, I desire only your eyes._

 _The sun has almost set now, Amatus. Know I will be looking up at the moon tonight. I hope you will look_ with _me._

 _With Love,_

 _Valina._

* * *

Lady Valina Voclain,

Member of the Inquisition forces, travelling in Orlais.

 _Dear Valina,_

 _I hope this finds you safe. It's late here, now, later than I dare tell you. Perhaps it is weak of me to say this, as it's been mere hours since you left, but already I miss you, my love. I'm not looking forward to retiring to an empty bed without your warmth and your smile. I spent the better part of the day instructing the recruits with Varric until my limbs were weary, and since dinner, I have focused on reports and letters in the hopes that through my efforts I will tire my mind enough to avoid the worst of the nightmares I suspect will come without your soothing voice and embrace. I know I can endure it, and_ that thoughts _of your songs will help. I looked up at the moon tonight even before your letter arrived, and I find comfort in the knowledge you were looking too. Maker, I miss you… [The script trails off here, a small smudge in the ink]._

 _I apologise, I fell asleep at my desk it seems, but it was worth it to see your eyes and hear my voice in my dreams, my mind was so filled with thoughts of you._

 _I'll pass on your compliments to Master Dennet today. I'm sure he'll appreciate them. Your mother visited early this morning with a pot of tea. It was she who woke me, in fact. I am glad she did not comment on the state of my hair, though she had every right to with how it was sticking up on half my head, with spots of ink in it. Josephine brought your letter to her this morning, and your mother has spent the better part of the last two hours quizzing me about what cart specifications would be best suited for various Inquisition purposes and writing letters per your suggestion at my desk after she returned with a ledger as thick as my wrist. When I asked what the ledger held, she informed me that it contained details about all the contacts and contracts your family has amassed over the last century and that more than half had been added in the last twenty years. Maker, how many people does your family know? It would surely take months to examine it in detail; the records are so impressive._

 _I must go now, my love. There is much to do before the day ends._

 _Be safe._

 _Cullen._

* * *

Ser Cullen Rutherford,

Commander of the Inquisition at Skyhold.

 _Dear Amatus,_

 _We reached the D'or Estate early this afternoon. We spent the final hours of daylight preparing and gathering supplies for the camps in Sahrnia and will complete the final leg of the journey towards the Judicael's Crossing camp at first light tomorrow._

 _Evelyn, Dennin, and_ Faedrir _are well. They, along with Benet's stable hand and agricultural staff have outdone themselves in preparing the estate for Inquisition use, and the troops garrisoned in the estate have settled in well. They are treating the house and grounds with respect, despite their knowledge of the circumstances of the seizure._

 _I had a long discussion with the household staff about Benet's dealings. They did not know much in detail but have confirmed that Benet sold one of his_ drakestone _mines five years ago, a month or so after I last visited his estate to reiterate – again – that I did not return his romantic interest. After Malakar and I discussed the information with Dorian, Cassandra, and Bull, we believe it is now safe to conclude that the red lyrium amulet corrupted his mind. Malakar has decided that, once the war is over, he will return the D'or estate to Benet and ensure he retains his title._

 _Evelyn, Dennin, and_ Faedrir _asked me to reiterate their thanks to you for asking them to stay on and manage the estate. It has given them a purpose after so many years under Benet's tyranny. I spoke with Evelyn privately after she threw herself at me upon arrival. How in the name of the Maker did you manage to sneak off and tell her about my plan triple her Inquisition pay? You left my sight for barely a minute after we_ You _sneaky bastard. You gave her a note when she brought us our morning tea, didn't you? She informed me that she plans to save the money she earns under Inquisition employ to buy her own house once the war is over – somewhere she and_ Faedrir _can be safe, and where she can begin her own work. She sews exquisite dresses and jackets, and, in fact, she designed much of Benet's wardrobe personally. I said I would ensure she continues to have lucrative employment after the war, and now that she knows I have been supplementing her income anyway, I have offered to personally support a design shop in Val Royeaux for her, as well as to employ her as a personal seamstress to House Voclain. I received another hug after that; I am not used to such sudden affection from a stranger. Mother will be thrilled – she's been underwhelmed by the current fashion trends in Orlais._

 _I have heard rumours around the estate this last hour that one of the upstairs rooms is haunted. The troops are hearing strange moans and whispers, even screams. One even mentioned that he swears he's heard your name whispered through the walls, and seen it appear as if etched into the wood of the furniture and on the walls. Isn't that strange? I remember vividly the way your lips grazed my neck, the way you marked my skin and tasted me as you said you wanted my moans to fill the room, your name to paint the walls as it fell from my lips, and my screams to haunt this house. It's almost as if the words you whispered to me_

* * *

Cullen glanced up as hinges creaked behind him. He stepped away from the window, moving to place the high-backed chair between himself and the scout, his neck flushing as Jim glanced at the letter in his hand.

'Have you not learnt to knock?' Cullen asked as he hid the letter behind his back, unwilling to share the contents; Jim wasn't the brightest scout but he had keen vision.

'Sorry Ser, with Lady Voclain being elsewhere I–' Jim cleared his throat as he stopped at the opposite edge of the desk. 'Ah, new letters and reports for you, just in from our Orlesian contingents.'

'Put them on my desk.'

'Yes, Ser,' Jim said, depositing the pile of missives before he turned tail and ran out the door.

Cullen's lip twitched in a smirk as he remembered the time the scout had stumbled in on a heated moment between him and Valina. The scout hadn't mentioned the incident to Cullen despite a few opportunities – likely due to the mental scars left from catching his commander with his pants down, so to speak – but rumours were still whispered between the recruits warning them against entering Commander Cullen's office without knocking, lest they see more than they bargain for.

Cullen shook his head, chuckling to himself as he settled into his chair and returned to Valina's letter.

* * *

 _It's almost as if the words you whispered to me have met your desires. I do quite like the idea of our lovemaking haunting this house, but, alas, it's more likely that a certain companion has been telling tales. At first, I suspected Bull but Dorian is a gossipmonger after a few wines, and I did see a bottle near him at dinner. But they seem to know such detail – down to your name appearing on the wall – even though you whispered those wicked things in my ear. Have you been bragging, Commander? My, my, I do love your confidence, Amatus. I hope you'll take_ time _to rest while I'm away. Perhaps, when I return, we should make a few more rumours on the battlements. It's been only a night and already I long for the roughness of your calloused hands, the rasp of your stubble, and the wicked caress of your tongue all over my body. Even now, I can feel your mouth on my thighs where your new bites lay and the hot slide of your tongue between my lips. The mere thought of it makes my body heavy with want, and I can feel myself growing slick as I long for you. I may have to include more wicked thoughts in my letters over the course of my journey. You're sure to ravage me upon my return already, but with your blood burning at the thought of me touching myself to the memory of your talented mouth and your wonderful cock, I think I'll scarcely make it through the gates before you're inside me. The thought makes me tremble for you, Amatus._

 _With all my heart,_

 _Valina._

* * *

Lady Valina Voclain,

Member of the Inquisition forces, travelling in Orlais.

 _Valina My Love,_

 _Maker, the things you do to me. I thought to reply to your letter straight away but after the last paragraph I could not even put quill to paper; my hand trembled so much from the weight of my desire, and your words made me so eager I had myself_ in _hand at my desk before I even realised I had untied my laces. I had to retire to our bed, lest someone walks in and catches me as Jim caught us._

 _Surrounded by your sweet scent and the memories of our most intimate moments, I brought myself to completion twice, but still, I ache for you, my love, even though it's been mere nights since I've had you in my arms and indulged in your pleasure. You may prove correct. I fear you may not even get through the gates before I have you off your horse and against a wall. I keep thinking about the time on the battlements when we were almost caught by the guard change – the heat of your body, the taste of your kiss, the sounds you made, and the words you spoke. You've taught me enough that I can pick up on the sensual things you whisper in Tevene now, the pleading and cursing, and the utterances about my merciless tongue and my veracious 'commander'. Veracious suits my member better than mighty, it is so enraptured by you. Just thinking about your voice when it's husky with desire sets my blood burning._

 _There's so much more I wish to tell you, but I'm due for meeting with Leliana and Josephine in a half hour and I cannot go in my current state. I'm sure you'll be pleased to learn that I must go take care of a pressing issue. Again._

 _I await your next letter, my love. Be safe._

 _Cullen._

* * *

Ser Cullen Rutherford,

Commander of the Inquisition at Skyhold.

 _Amatus,_

 _We reached the Judicael's Crossing camp late today. You're correct. I am very pleased to know that I can rouse you so effectively even at such a distance – I only wish I could have been the one to sate your desires. I look forward to retiring to my tent soon if only so I can take care of my own needs. My fingers are nowhere near as satisfying as yours, and are frankly lacklustre in comparison to your mouth and your insatiable cock but, alas, they will have to suffice for now._

 _I hope we defeat this dragon quickly. I long to be in your arms again Amatus. I had forgotten how it truly feels to be alone in a bed, away from the person you love. By now you've probably noticed that one of your sweaters is missing. I may have borrowed it simply to carry something with your scent on it. I miss waking with you by my side, wrapped tightly in your embrace. I miss hearing your voice whisper in my ear to wake me, and being nestled together beneath the warm covers and simply enjoying your company as we share our morning tea._

 _Once, not that long ago, I would have relished the quiet nights I have enjoyed in my own company during this journey and would have been happy to have the covers all to myself. Now, as I sit on this mat with nothing more than the flickering light of a candle to warm me in my empty tent, and with thoughts of your safe embrace and the sweet words you whisper when you think I'm asleep filling my mind, I know those feelings belong to a time past._

 _I miss you with every breath and every heartbeat, and I love you more each passing day._

 _Yours always,_

 _Valina._

* * *

Cullen glanced at the empty space beside him, reaching out to lay his hand where she would usually be, and for a moment he swore he could hear her sweet voice singing to him.

 _I miss you too, my love._

He read her words one last time before he laid the letter on his lap, heart heavy as he stared down at the page. Small blemishes marred the parchment, leaving the fibres wrinkled and the ink blurred from moisture, and even though the envelope had been crisp and perfect, he told himself it was from rain.


	21. Dragon's Bane

**Chapter Twenty-One**

 **Dragon's Bane**

 _Leontine's Ring_

 _Emprise du Lion, Orlais_

The five companions crouched low as they reached Leontine's Ring, breath frosting in the cool morning air of the Emprise. Night had barely lifted, the sun rising lazily through the thick clouds to illuminate their target.

Malakar raised a finger to his lips to silence Bull's excited chatter, though the Inquisitor did smile to see the Qunari bouncing, he was so eager. The group lined up along the upper edge in the shadows of the pillars, peeking around the crumbling stone to gaze down upon the sleeping beast. The dragon rolled onto its side, the action shaking the ground beneath their feet, oblivious to the watchful eyes that beheld it.

'That's definitely a Highland Ravager,' Valina whispered, just loud enough for her companions to hear, 'I hope you brought your fire resistant leathers because this will be a rough fight without them.'

'Just another day in Orlais,' Malakar said, signalling for them to move. They followed the path as per the scouts' instructions to find an easier access point for the ring, knowing that a climb down the high crumbling walls of the ring would probably alert the dragon to their presence, or result in a broken bone should they slip and fall.

The companions approached slowly as they neared the entrance, a crude and cracked stone archway. They moved as quietly as they each could manage, wary of their steps, lest they wake the beast before they were ready.

At Malakar's signal, they grouped together. 'Bull, Cassandra, I want you at its front legs. Keep it distracted,' Malakar whispered, barely loud enough for his four companions to hear even with their heads so close together, 'Dorian and I will flank the sides. Valina, I trust you'll find some weak spots or create them.'

'That means I get to dodge a tail. Fun times,' she said, smirking sideways at the Inquisitor.

'Dorian and I will cover you all as best as we can but… be careful, everyone. Like Valina said, this is going to be rough, and I expect us to walk out of this with more than some singed hair and clothes.'

'And it'll still make my day,' Bull said, taking his axe off his back, a wicked grin on his lips. He was still bouncing a little in his excitement, full of energy for the fight, despite the danger they faced.

The five companions crept forward, eyes locked on the sleeping beast. It huffed in sleep and the group paused in unison, tension so thick it was palpable in the air. When the dragon did not wake and they took a few steps closer, beginning to disperse in preparation to flank for the attack.

Valina disappeared in a swirl of darkness, invisible but for the ripple in the air around her as she moved ahead of the group. She moved in a wide arch to approach from the side, steps as light as air.

Dragons weren't Valina's idea of a fun fight. She much preferred sparring with her Commander – especially when he was sans shirt and thinking about a very different sweaty ending than the one she anticipated she would face now – but she did enjoy the challenge, and she was working with people she trusted.

Valina froze when she heard an audible crunch, her eyes darting to Iron Bull. The Qunari glanced down at his feet, a brittle old bone crunching beneath the sole of his boot. His four companions eyed the dragon warily, but it still slumbered, oblivious to their presence.

Dorian breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Large eyes shot open, dirt swirling as it unleashed a smoky breath, and the group – minus Bull – cursed collectively.

They craned their necks as the dragon lumbered to its feet, quickly shaking off its slumber as it unfurled its massive wings and flicked its tail menacingly. Its eyes locked onto the warriors in its line of sight, and Bull let out a sound akin to a giggle.

'I love you, boss!' he yelled, earning a disgusted noise from Cassandra before the two warriors charged into the fray.

Valina darted forward, using her stealth to take a cheap shot at the tendons in its meaty back leg. She used her momentum from the charge, tucking herself to roll to the other side and slash again. She cut and swiped at its armoured skin, its thick hide difficult to penetrate even with her sharp blades, but she knew she would soon break through the armour with her efforts.

She crouched low, dodging stomping feet. It was dangerous to remain beneath the dragon but Cassandra and Bull made an excellent team, keeping the beast focused and relatively still, making it attack with its front claws rather than the back. She trusted in Malakar and Dorian's supportive magic and her own skills, merciless in her assault as they broke down the dragon's defences.

'Fire mines!'

Valina glanced at her feet just in time. She rolled out from under the dragon as it exploded, but another appeared beneath her, forcing her to throw herself into a backflip before she'd gained her balance. The heavy leather of her coat protected her from the heat of the explosion but the blast threw her back a few extra feet, and she landed hard on her side on a rock, air rushing from her lungs as pain wracked her.

'Valina!'

'I'm fine,' she called as she stood, masking as much of her breathlessness as she could as the dragon reared its massive head, 'focus on Cass and Bull, it's about to get hot in here!'

Bull was forced to dodge as the Ravager unleashed its fiery breath in a wide arch. Cassandra dropped behind her shield, weathering the onslaught, the metal glowing red with the heat. The Seeker rose from behind the shield, lips a hard line of determination, her gaze like stone, and for a moment Valina caught herself staring. Had she not been so head over heels for Cullen, she might have jumped the Nevarran beauty then and there on the battlefield once the fight was over, she was so impressed.

Valina shook off the thoughts, forcing a deep breath into her winded lungs. She threw herself back into the fight, slashing deep into the dragon's legs again. It was slowly beginning to weaken, the fight dragging as they battled against its heavily armoured skin.

Malakar shouted encouragement; standing at range, he could be defender and damager, as well as strategist, using his keen eye to monitor the dragon's every move and shout directions to keep his companions working as a cohesive unit, even as fatigue began to set in and fight the adrenaline that pumped through their veins.

The dragon turned its massive head, eyes locked on the mage as it sensed Malakar's building magic. With a nonchalant puff, it sent a fireball at the Inquisitor, forcing him to dodge, his fade-step taking him out of the line of fire with a mere second the spare, but the blizzard he was casting fizzled to nothing with his concentration broken.

Cassandra bashed her shield until the dragon returned its attention to the warriors at its feet, but the relief was short-lived as fire mines sprouted at their feet again, all five companions forced to dart away from their positions, only to be drawn back in as the dragon rose on his hind legs and flapped its massive wings. They struggled futilely against the pull of the air, the draw too strong, and the companions stumbled into range, Dorian and Malakar too disorientated to fade-step away.

The dragon saw its opportunity and Valina watched at its flank as it lifted its massive tail. 'Look out!' she cried, vaulting backwards and over the thick, spiked limb as it swept back and forth.

Cassandra dropped low at Valina's call, the sweep deflecting off her shield, the force knocking her onto her arse, but Bull, Dorian and Malakar weren't fast enough, the beast easily sweeping them off their feet. Bull stumbled back up with Cassandra's help, and Valina rushed to her closest companion, dragging Malakar up before she sprinted to Dorian. Blood streaked his face, and when he stumbled he clutched at her arm for support before he righted himself fully.

'Dorian?'

'I'm fine,' he said, though his tone was rough, 'let's finish this.'

Valina tried to move away, but the dragon unleashed an almighty roar, the sound vibrating so hard through Valina that her head throbbed in pain, her chest tightening. She could not move, not even to block her ears, precious seconds stretching as the roar echoed through the ring.

They recovered their equilibrium, shaking off the pain of the stunning roar. Beneath the loud breaths and hard steps of the dragon Valina heard a harsh scramble among the rocks, her eyes scanning. She grabbed Dorian, turning him wordlessly towards the wall as dragonlings descended behind their companions, attracted by the roar.

'Wonderful,' Dorian muttered, but he cast what protective magic he had mastered as Valina sprinted forward.

'Incoming!' she cried, rolling beneath the dragon. She sprung up, hardly a break in her stride as she sprinted straight for Malakar. The mage was surprised by her advance but he ducked when she directed him, and she vaulted over his crouched form, landing on top of a dragonling's head as it reared back to strike.

She landed hard, daggers finding their target, her blades easily piercing through the thick hide on the back of its neck. It gurgled, choking before it fell, and she tumbled off its back. Fighting continued behind her, three more dragonlings circling as they picked their targets. Malakar froze the one that snapped at Cassandra, and the Seeker shattered the beast with the heavy blow of her sword.

The final two locked on Bull – the biggest target – rushing towards him. He grinned as he turned from the dragon, sprinting to meet them head on. He knocked the first one into the air, sending it flying towards Dorian, the mage quickly calling thunder down upon it.

Bull lifted his axe, ready to swipe, and the dragon unleashed another roar, the five companions incapacitated again as the sound resonated in the ring. He stumbled on his feet, axe falling from his grasp.

Valina grit her teeth, unable to move as pain burned through her from the dragon's cry. She could do nothing but watch as the dragonling neared, snapping and slashing at the Qunari. The moment he regained control he punched the beast in the jaw, but the dragonling shook off the blow, swiping wildly in its anger, digging thick slashes in Bull's chest.

Behind the embattled Iron Bull Valina saw movement – another dragonling, she thought – and she felt a surge of adrenaline renew her. She rushed forward, expecting it to pounce at any moment. Instead, she heard a battle cry, and the dragonling that had been on top of Bull went flying, it's skull crushed by the heavy blow of a massive hammer as the armoured figure struck in an upwards arch. The weight of the weapon did not overwhelm the woman, and she reined in its sweep, standing firm at Bull's side. She wore a vicious snarl, but when her bright eyes lowered to Bull all vehemence evaporated, replaced by an almost cautious smile.

'Well, get up then, you big lump!'

There was no time to stare or take in the sudden turn of events. With the Iron Bull in apparently safe hands, she sprinted back to join her other companions in the fray. She dove beneath the beast, ignoring the chill of Malakar's blizzard as she fought to break through the last few scales that protected the Ravager's belly.

Vicious relief roared through her when her daggers penetrated to the hilt, and with the last of her strength, she dragged them along the length of the beast's belly. Her final assault combined with the onslaught from all sides and the dragon released a weakened roar, its legs trembling under the weight of its final breath. Valina dived from beneath the dragon and it collapsed in her wake, frame shuddering a final time before the ring fell silent but for the heavy breaths of the five companions.

Make that six.

Valina kept a tight hold on her blades. Even physically spent she was still deadly, and in much better condition than her companions; Dorian and Bull were bleeding profusely, Cassandra was limping, and Malakar was struggling to stand, his arm wrapped tight around his waist.

Valina assessed the new arrival coldly. _Mid to late twenties._ _Ferelden accent, probably a traveller. Armoured, not a refugee. Weakest point in the knees and feet, inadequate protection. Warrior's build, five eight, five nine at most, thickly muscled arms and thighs, solid core, and strong shoulders. Prominent scars, combat hardened, potentially poor defence tactics. Warm open face, easy to read._ The two-handed hammer she carried – _head resting on the ground, slowed retaliation_ – was nearly as tall as her, was definitely taller than Valina, and by her display against the dragonling, she knew how to use it.

'Identify yourself,' Valina said, her voice clear despite the mask over her face.

'Oh, you're a stern one,' the woman said, a smile quirking her lips that was quickly extinguished by Valina's answering glare, 'I'm Azyrth. Azyrth Winterbourne.'

 _Ferelden, low nobility – distantly related to Arl Teagan Guerrin_.

'Why are you here?'

She waved towards the dragon. 'I heard the roar, thought I'd come check it out. Saw you get jumped by those dragonlings. They came out of bloody nowhere.'

 _Truth._

'So you thought you would help?'

'I've not taken on an actual dragon before but I used to have to clear dragonlings off my grandfather's the farm, so I thought, yeah, maybe I can help when the big guy over there was getting torn to ribbons.' She glanced around the group. 'What are you guys anyway? Dragon hunters?'

 _Truth, genuine curiosity._

'Inquisition.'

A smile sparked on her lips. 'No way! I'd seen the camps around here, but I've never seen you guys in action before.' Her gaze flickered back to Malakar, eyes travelling down his hand. 'Andraste's tits, and you're the Inquisitor!'

'We don't have time to deal with fanatics.'

Azyrth vivid eyes went wide. 'Oh, shit yeah, you guys are hurt. Come on, I'll help you get back to camp.'

She took a step towards Bull but Valina blocked her advance. 'We don't know you.'

'Not the trusting type either, are you?'

'Not particularly.'

'That's fair. You can hold onto my hammer if you like, but I'm going to help your friend here if you'll let me.'

Valina glanced to Malakar, and he gave her a barely perceptible nod: _I trust your judgement_.

Valina assessed Azyrth a final time, finding no malice in her bright gaze. 'Come with us. You may keep your hammer for now.'

The warrior gave Valina a half smile as she made her way to Bull's side. 'Why do I feel like you're going to add that you'll kill me if I try anything?'

'Because I will.'

Azyrth grimaced as she offered her hand to Bull. 'I bet she's fun at parties.'

'Once you get to know her,' he said, grunting as Azyrth hauled him up.

Valina glanced between her other companions. Cassandra was still limping, pain tugging at her brow, but she was mobile and stable. Dorian stood beside Malakar, visibly shaken but in one piece. When Malakar stumbled Dorian reached out, barely catching his lover in time.

Malakar clutched at Dorian's arm, teeth clenched, and his breath shuddering in. 'I'm okay, I just… I'm fine.''

'You're very obviously not.'

'Neither are you,' Malakar said, glaring pointedly at Dorian's bloodied face.

He scoffed. 'Blood will wash off when we get back to camp, and I'll be back to my handsome self. You, on the other hand, don't look like you'll make it back at this rate.' Although he tried to be teasing, Valina caught the waver in his voice.

Valina sheathed her blades and dug a potion from her belt pouch. 'Drink it,' she said, waiting until he tipped the contents into his mouth before she swept Malakar into her arms. Her knees wobbled a little at the sudden weight, but the elf was thankfully slight.

'Valina–'

'I don't want to hear it,' she said, the sharpness in her tone leaving no room for argument, 'let the potion do its work. We need to get back to camp and inform the scouts if we want the remains harvested for crafting. The longer the corpse is left there, the more likely it is to fall prey to scavengers.'

Valina led the way out of the ring and back on the rocky path. Malakar complained only once about being carried before he finally whispered his thanks, the potion slowly healing the injuries he'd sustained. He was lucky, considering he'd taken a dragon's tail straight to the torso, and they both knew it.

They reached the crossing just as the sun dipped below the horizon, and shouts sounded from the other side. The scouts rushed to their aid, and Valina relinquished Malakar to a stretcher. With her companions back to safety, Valina grabbed the nearest scout and compiled a list of instructions for stripping the dragon's carcas, then sent her off with a group to gather the materials.

When she took a seat around the campfire she sighed with relief, sweeping her hood back and shaking out her hair. She spent a moment just sitting there, gaze focused on the crackling flames until the last of the adrenaline abandoned her body. She dragged her mask down and scrubbed dirt off her face. She craved a bath and a steaming cup of tea – or the whole pot if she was honest – but there was still work to be done. The sooner they were healed and organised, the sooner she would be back in Cullen's arms.

She lifted herself, ignoring the exhaustion that threatened to fold her, and she found quickly found the medical tent where her companions were being treated. Malakar was sitting up on a cot; his skin was ashen, but he was clearly in less pain. Dorian sat beside him, somewhat less bloodied than before, his moustache stuck at an odd angle from obvious mishandling by the scout that wiped the blood away, but for the moment, the mage didn't care, his whole focus on the man he wrapped tightly in his embrace.

Valina moved further into the tent, nodding at Cassandra. The Seeker returned the look before she growled at the scout that was wrapping her ankle, a sharp apology quickly following her harsh reaction.

At the far end of the tent, Valina found Bull, the scout that was dressing his cleaned cuts having to duck beneath his meaty arms to wrap the bandage around his massive chest and stomach. Azyrth sat close by, eyes downcast, but Valina caught every glance the warrior stole at the Qunari.

'Perhaps Varric should start calling you stitches; that must be all that's holding you together now.'

'Takes a lot more than a dragonling to tear through all this,' he said, waving over his battered torso. The scout yelped as he dodged the gesture, and Bull lifted his arm again. 'Oops, my bad. Keep doing what you're doing.' He looked up again. 'You seem to be in one piece.'

'No claw marks, but…' Valina opened her coat and lifted her shirt, revealing the bruises that blossomed over her side and hip. She might have dodged a few of the worst attacks, but a few hard landings could do enough damage.

'Curly's not going to be impressed.'

'No, not particularly, but I'm sure he'll kiss them all better.'

'And a few other places too.'

'Wow.'

Valina's gaze flickered to Azyrth. 'Wow?'

The warrior's cheeks flushed. 'I'm… I'm sorry, I've just never met a lady rogue before. Those are some serious abs. How did you even get them?' She sounded awed, her gaze caught somewhere between fascination and embarrassment as she glanced between Valina's face and her stomach.

'You've got to kill a few men to get those abs, don't you Vicious.'

Azyrth's bright dawnstone eyes flickered down to Valina's stomach again. 'You must have killed a lot of people.'

Valina barely kept her lip from twitching when Bull winked at her. 'Indeed.'

'I'm pretty lucky to be alive, aren't I?'

'It's not luck, but circumstance. You proved yourself to be a valuable asset during the battle, and afterwards, you made the right decisions. Had you picked up your hammer at the wrong moment though, you'd have a dagger between your eyes.'

Azyrth glanced sideways at Bull. 'You Inquisition folk don't mess around.'

Bull nudged her foot. 'Vicious here is a different breed. Don't worry, she'll warm up, won't you Vicious?'

'I will if you stop calling me Vicious.'

'Nah, you like it. It suits you too well.'

'Perhaps, but that being said, I believe I owe you a formal introduction, Azyrth. My name is Valina Voclain. I'm an ally of the Inquisition, and a mercenary by trade, much like Bull.'

'How'd you join?'

A slow smile curled Valina's lips. 'That's a long story. Let's just say I was recruited for my skills and assets.'

Bull chuckled. 'Cullen would agree with that.'

'He would,' Valina said, smirking before she returned her attention to Azyrth.

'Can anyone join?'

'Yes.'

The three companions lifted their gazes as Malakar moved closer, Dorian at his side. The Inquisitor wasn't yet standing straight and he was leaning on Dorian, but he didn't grimace with every step, and some of the colour had returned to his face. He sat down on the cot beside Valina, a breath shuddering from him.

'You had impeccable timing, Miss Winterbourne,' he said, 'while I trust we would have made it through the fight, we may have been significantly worse off.'

'Well, I wasn't going to just stand there and let it eat you or anything.' She glanced at Bull, something flickering in her gaze that made Valina smile.

'We could use another warrior in our ranks.'

Azyrth's gaze snapped back to Malakar, a tentative smile on her lips. 'Really?'

'We're in the middle of a war, and you've shown that you know how to fight. I can't promise it's as glamorous as some of the tales you may have heard, but if you'd be willing to join us, you can accompany us back to Skyhold first thing tomorrow.'

A smile broke over her lips, and for a moment Valina wondered just how young their new companion was. Beneath the jagged scars – heaviest on her right cheek – her sun-kissed skin was supple and smooth, barely a mark of age to blemish her complexion.

Malakar extended his hand, and Azyrth did not hesitate. 'Count me in.'

* * *

Ser Cullen Rutherford,

Commander of the Inquisition at Skyhold.

 _Amatus,_

 _We set out from Sahrnia at dawn this morning in a flurry of activity. I write to you from the back of my horse, as I know not when we will stop tonight. The battle was difficult and exhausting but we succeeded – with a little help. I'm sure you'll soon read Malakar's report of the event. The scouts spent the whole night loading and preparing the crafting resources gathered from the remains. Ensure you tell mother so she can prepare with Dagna._

 _I'm sorry I didn't write to you last night. I know you must have been terribly worried. I planned to send something the moment I returned to my tent and sat down, but I fell asleep where I lay. I dreamt of you, Amatus, of being in your arms again. I long to be back with you, but our caravan has grown and the return journey will be slower. There are too many bandits along the road now to leave the carts undefended, and the goods we carry are valuable._

 _I will write you again as soon as I am able._

 _I love you,_

 _Valina._

* * *

Lady Valina Voclain,

Member of the Inquisition forces, travelling in Orlais.

 _My Love,_

 _I'm so glad to hear from you. I hardly slept last night. Every time I closed my eyes – Maker, I do not even want to speak of it without you here to calm me. I know not how I will wait for your return, but it will be a long few days. If my duties allowed it I would meet you at the camp or perhaps along the road, if only to hold you again. Reports are flooding in and the training is growing more rigorous for the recruits. I am still tempted to risk it, but I'm certain Josephine could kill me with an earful of rapid Antivan, and I would never see Leliana coming._

 _I love you too, Valina. I cannot wait to have you in my arms again._

 _Cullen._

* * *

 _Skyhold, Inquisition Fortress_

 _Frostback Mountains, border between Ferelden and Orlais_

Cullen rubbed at his temples, his head aching. The words on the page in front of him had been blurring for some time, but he'd pushed on until his eyes were heavy and his head thumped a dull rhythm. He was determined to wear himself out before he attempted another restless night of sleep. The nightmares had worsened without Valina's presence, his mind finding new ways to taunt him, creating new fears each night he endured her absence from their bed.

He pushed up from his chair with an audible groan, his muscles stiff from hours in the hard seat. He needed a break, a walk; anything to get his mind off the tension that had slowly settled on him as he waited. She'd written every day, and in the time she had been gone he had never waited so long to hear from her. As irrational as he knew it was – he knew they were due to return soon, and had probably only stopped to sleep – he could not dispel the growing weight in his stomach.

Cullen stumbled towards the door, the darkness that greeted him on the battlements a stark reminder of how long he'd been at his desk. He could hardly recall if he'd had lunch and knew he'd probably missed his opportunity for dinner at the Herald's Rest.

He walked the battlements, stretching out his aches and pains, the mountain air soothing in his lungs, his breath misting in the cold breeze with each steady exhalation. He leant against the stone, firm and reassuring beneath his arms, and closed his eyes. He was surrounded by memories here, both pleasant and not so. He recalled their argument, their heated moments, and he recalled their first kiss and all those that followed, the tender moments, and the intimate one they had shared mere feet from him on the opposite side of the wall.

He glanced up when he heard the soft flutter of wings, a raven landing beside him. It fluffed its wings impatiently, tilting its head to look at him before it hopped closer, and his eyes dropped to its spindly leg. He took the small note from the raven before shooing it back to Leliana's tower, eager to send it away; he'd had more than his fair share of problems with her birds.

Cullen turned the note in his hand. There were no marks to identify it, and the parchment appeared torn. It was unusual to receive such a short missive, even for urgent matters, but he supposed it could be from Sera. She'd sent crude jokes to him before in this way, but when he unfolded the battered note he felt his heart soar.

* * *

 _See you soon, Amatus._


	22. Longing

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

 **Longing**

Cullen placed the latest reports from the Inquisition's forces throughout Thedas in a pile beside him, the charcoal pencil he laid atop them worn down from the copious notes and scribbles on the page.

He leant his head back against the headboard, rubbing at his eyes, then his cheeks, trying to wipe away the exhaustion that clung to his face. He would not sleep tonight he knew, no matter how much his tired mind tried to drag him down into slumber.

He'd been a fidgety mess all day, his concentration torn between the piles of work on his desk, the recruits training under his command, and the runners that came so close, yet were so far. Every time he'd seen one pass, he'd wished – no, prayed – they would herald her return, but no such message came.

He glanced to his side, to the other pile of paper on the bed. He reached for it, picking up the top page, a smile on his lips as he read the short, scribbled note again and again.

 _See you soon, Amatus_.

He'd clung to that hope for the last twenty-four hours, more now, he realised as he glanced up at the blackened sky through the hole in the roof, seeing stars shining between the soft clouds that drifted above. How much longer–

Cullen sat up when he heard a timid knock at his office, the door hinges creaking.

'It's just me, Jim, Ser,' the scout called from downstairs, 'I'm sorry to disturb you so late but you told me to let you know when the Inquisitor's caravan approached the fortress. It's been sighted, not a mile from here.'

Cullen threw the covers back, calling out his thanks as he scrambled for some clothes. He dressed, his armour left piled at the end of the bed in favour of a warm sweater. He laced his boots as fast as his fingers allowed, grabbing a cloak before he rushed down the ladder and out onto the battlements, almost tripping over the heavy fur-lined garment in his haste as he took the stairs two, even three at a time.

It was the coldest night for months, snow flurries sweeping over Skyhold and painting the fortress white, the soft moonlight that peeked through the clouds making the battlements glisten with a dreamlike serenity so at odds with the state of the world, but Cullen had no interest in appreciating the scenery. He clutched the cloak tighter around his shoulders as he raced towards the gate. The cold wind rushed through even the heavy fur lining. His breath misted in the air, his nose was so cold he could hardly feel it, and shivers wracked his body, but the moment he saw the torches flickering at the end of the walkway, he knew any discomfort he felt was worth it.

He stepped aside to allow the caravan to pass, absently acknowledging Malakar's and Dorian's greetings. His eyes scanned the backs of horses, passing over carts and scouts, over Iron Bull and Azyrth, the new agent, until he found her riding beside Cassandra at the end of the convoy.

Their eyes locked, his breath catching in his throat to see the smile that lit her face when she pulled her mask down. Already, she was swinging her leg over the horse, and the moment he came up beside her she slid off the steed's back and into his arms. He crushed her to his chest, her feet dangling above the ground.

'You should be in bed, Amatus, it's freezing,' she whispered against his ear between kisses that burned along his neck.

Cullen eased her to her feet, unwilling to relinquish her. 'I couldn't sleep, knowing you were coming,' he said, reaching to frame her face.

They met in a searing kiss, Cullen staking his claim upon her, and she upon him, uncaring of all the eyes upon them in that moment as he finally held her again. They parted, each panting from the sheer passion unleashed but still, they lingered so close together, noses touching, breaths mingling around them in the cold air.

'Come, we'll warm up with a bath,' he said, taking her hand, giving her scarcely a moment to catch her breath before he led them away from the caravan and the knowing smiles of their companions.

They hurried to the main bathing chambers, and the moment the door closed behind them all restraint, all caution fell away. They were soon stumbling past baths, through doors, a tangle of limbs and desperate kisses that knocked over furniture and benches as they moved towards the officers' baths, cloaks falling in their wake.

The door slammed shut behind them and Cullen fumbled for the lock, a satisfied sound rumbling in his chest when he heard it click. He pulled back just enough to shove her heavy coat off her shoulders, a satisfying thud sounding on the damp floorboards as the leather fell, and then he was upon her again, hands trailing down to her thighs, lifting her with an ease that sent a thrill through her veins.

'I need you, Amatus.'

She locked her legs around his waist, trusting in his strength, her words igniting the longing for her that had curled low and tight in his soul while he'd been deprived of her touch, her embrace.

Her love.

Her hands seemed to be everywhere at once, cupping his cheeks in one moment to draw him closer, stripping his sweater the next, and reaching beneath his open-collared tunic to feel the heat of his skin. Maker, her touch was maddening after so many nights apart, his body afire for the soft caress of nimble fingers and the bite of her nails across his flesh.

He pressed her against the door, wedging her there. He expected her gasp, but the sound was sharp in her lungs, their kiss faltering. He found her serpentstone gaze, her eyes alight with her desire, but something about the sound was off.

'Valina?'

'It's nothing,' she whispered and she drew his lips back to hers, but the moment he moved to readjust his grip she gasped again, and this time he caught the grimace on her face.

'Clearly not,' he said as he turned, kneeling to set her down on the bench beside the bath, 'what aren't you telling me?'

Valina glanced away, her guards down as she sighed. 'You're going to see it anyway,' she said as she lifted the lower hem of her tunic.

Cullen dropped his gaze. Even in the soft candle light, he could see the purpled bruises that coloured most of her left side, reaching out over her hips, stomach, and ribs with angry blotches. He reached for her on instinct, trailing his fingers over the outline of the bruise.

'What happened?'

'The dragon.'

He snatched his hands back when she flinched beneath his touch, and he dragged his gaze back up. 'This wasn't in the Inquisitor's report.'

'Because he doesn't know. We were all injured in the fight. I wasn't going to make a fuss over some bruises, Cullen.'

'You're in pain.'

She cupped his cheeks, a smile tugging at her lips. 'It will pass.'

He covered her hands with his own, leaning into her touch. 'At least promise me you'll rest for a few days.' He knew it was a long shot – like asking a nug to be calm, or asking Varric not to write – but he had to try.

'As long as resting doesn't prohibit me from showing you just how much I've missed you,' she said, mischief in her bright gaze.

Cullen's eyes trailed down, settling on her lips, plump and soft from their kisses, and he leant closer, but he caught himself before he became lost in her passion again.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. 'Get in the bath, my love. I'll be back,' he said as he rose, and she caught his tunic, fingers curling in the fabric before he could step away.

'Where are you going?'

'To get you the largest pot of tea I can find in this fortress, and some elfroot balm for those bruises.'

'It can wait, Amatus…'

Her voice was breathless, a plea for him that he so desperately wanted to answer. He felt his knees trying to buckle, to answer the call of the name that rolled off her tongue, but he fought the urge and instead, he cupped her cheek, thumb tracing her bottom lip. His resolve nearly shattered at the need in her gaze. He felt it tug at him, his mind imagining drawing her into his embrace again, but he resisted the urges with all his might.

'My love, I've waited more than a week to have you in my arms again. I want nothing more than to make love to you right now, but if I–' He pursed his lips, a shuddered breath in his lungs. 'Valina, I fear… I will hurt you. Please, let me tend to your injuries first.'

She stared up at him, her lips parting for a moment on a word she could not catch. She could see the tension written on his face, flecks of molten gold dancing within his tawny gaze as his desires warred with distress to see her in pain. She knew she would react the same were the situation reversed.

'Hurry back, Amatus.'

A smile lit his lips and her heart swelled at the tenderness in his gaze.

'Always.'

* * *

For two days, Valina rested. Cullen tried his best to hide his worry, but she saw how it tugged at his brow, his lips pursing with every small flinch in her movement. She felt it in the way he held her, soft hands and softer touches that denied her the strong embrace she craved, her body singing for the caresses he would lay absently on her skin in slumber, the only time he could not control how tightly he held her.

On the second day, he suggested she seek a healer, but she waved the idea off; the mages were busy enough supporting the Inquisition's camps throughout Thedas without worrying about some impact injuries. Between the elfroot balm and strong herbal tea, the pain had lessened significantly, and the bruises, though still very purple in colour, were beginning to fade.

On the third day, she resumed her training duties, despite Cullen's insistence that she needed more time to recover. She was eager to see the recruits' progress, spending an hour with Varric going over the training regime that had been maintained in her absence. They had progressed well under Varric and Sera's instruction, many showing impressive skills with a bow, but she suspected the increased fluidity of the duel-dagger specialists came from another source. She made a mental note to ask Cole if he'd been whispering a few words of encouragement, and to thank him if her suspicions proved correct.

When she returned to their quarters that afternoon, she joined Cullen at his desk, perching on the table top to go through the reports with him. Skyhold was buzzing with activity and hope, the air electric with it. Rumours were whispered in every quarter, saying that the Inquisition was making its final preparations to take on Corypheus, and the missives flooding in seemed to confirm them.

Cullen and Valina looked up from the report they were reading when Jim burst through the centre door. It was surprising now, to see him enter without knocking, especially when he was well aware that Valina had returned.

His face was flushed, his breath heavy from running in the thickly layered scout clothes. 'The Inquisitor needs you at the war table,' he said, holding the door open, 'it's urgent.'

Cullen glanced at Valina, pushing up from his chair. 'I'll be back soon.'

Jim shook his head. 'Both of you, quickly.'

Valina slid off the desk, and the scout hurried off ahead of them.

'That can't be good,' Valina said as she fell into step beside Cullen.

Cullen took her hand, squeezing it tight, only releasing her when they entered the Great Hall. They weaved through the nobles that so often gathered there, passing through Josephine's office.

Cullen closed the war room door behind them, locking it to bar any interruptions. There was a strange weight hanging over the room, a coiling anticipation that Valina could feel like electricity on her skin as she followed Cullen to the opposite side of the table.

She was not the only addition.

Valina had had few opportunities to talk to Morrigan since their similarly timed arrival at Skyhold, but over the years, she'd heard plenty of stories about the Hero of Ferelden's companion and rumoured lover.

Malakar did not wait for anyone to settle, clearing his throat before he said, 'Corypheus has located an eluvian.'

'What? With an eluvian, Corypheus could cross into the fade in the flesh,' Leliana said, and the knowledge rippled through the room.

'Indeed,' Morrigan said with a slight nod, 'the Inquisitor can attest that these artifacts still work if one knows how to use them.'

'What happens when Corypheus enters the fade?'

'Why, Commander, he will gain his heart's desire and take the power of a god. Or – and this is more likely – the lunatic will unleash forces that would tear the world apart.'

'Neither option is particularly appealing,' Valina said, glancing around the sombre faces in the room.

Malakar shook his head. 'I won't allow it. I can't.'

'Indeed. Should Corypheus succeed, do not doubt you would be the first to feel his holy wrath, Inquisitor.'

'Pardon me, but…' Josephine worried her bottom lip as if unsure of how to say the words that rolled on her tongue. 'Does this mean everything's lost unless we reach the eluvian first?'

'Corypheus has a head start, no matter how quickly our army moves.'

'We should gather our allies before we march.'

'I don't think we can wait for them, Josie. We should send our spies ahead to the Arbour Wilds.'

'Without support from the soldiers? You'd lose half of them!'

'Then what _should_ we do?'

'We overcome it. All of us, together,' Malakar said, his voice a whip crack that snapped the advisors' attention back to him, 'Josephine, get letters out to our allies in the area and have them send scouts to the Wilds. Leliana, we need your fastest agents to join them. The more feet we get on the ground early, the better; I want enough spies in the Wilds to slow down Corypheus' army until the soldiers arrive. Cullen, Valina, prepare the troops; we'll need manpower to push through the red Templars, and the recruits to take over guard duties at Skyhold when we leave. I want the forces ready to march at dawn in two days' time.'

'While I am impressed by your confidence, the Arbor Wilds are not so kind to visitors. Old Elven magic lingers in those woods.'

Ever the ambassador, Josephine stepped forward. 'We'd be remiss not to take advantage of your knowledge, Lady Morrigan. Please, lend us your expertise.'

'Well, 'tis why I came here, although it is good to see its value recognised.'

'Any further instructions, Inquisitor?'

Malakar looked around the room, meeting each of their gazes. 'The Inquisition began as a handful of soldiers. Thanks to you all, we're now a force that will topple a self-proclaimed god. I could ask for no finer council, and no better guidance.'

'I speak for all of us when I answer,' Cullen said, 'we could ask for no finer cause.'

Leliana nodded. 'We'll hound Corypheus in the Wilds before he can find the temple or this eluvian.'

There was a fierceness in the mage's gaze, his eyes burning with emotions locked deep inside him. He bore the weight of Thedas upon his shoulders, but he would not bend or falter beneath the burden.

'We can finally take the fight directly to him, and we can end this war. Let's finish it.'

Malakar took a marker, placing it over the Wilds.

The air around Skyhold seemed to change in that moment, heavy with a collective sense of nervous anticipation and hope, the news of a known location for Corypheus acting as a light at the end of the tunnel of the seemingly endless war.

The fortress descended into a flurry of activity so immense even the steady torrent of rain that washed away the snow from the days before did not slow them down. The scouts were sent out at dusk to march overnight, a full two-day head start. The recruits who would stay behind to guard Skyhold worked hours on end to prepare carts full of supplies and weaponry for the march, stopping only when they needed to rest. Malakar and Dorian organised the mages, while Cullen and Valina gathered the soldiers into their factions and assigned their duties.

Valina insisted on a final afternoon of training to prepare the newest recruits once the carts were packed, ensuring they would be battle ready should a move be made on Skyhold in the Inquisitor's absence. She could not fault them for their bravery; even as young and scared as they were – some were hardly into their twenties – they believed in the Inquisition, and they believed in the Inquisitor, the Herald.

Only when she was finally satisfied with their skills did she allow them to retire, and at dusk, she sent them off for dinner with a stern warning not to loiter in the tavern, for they would be woken before sunrise the next morning to report to their posts.

She was weary after the long days of preparation, her mind wound tight by anticipation and a longing she could not quench. Even when working together, the only moments she and Cullen had shared since the meeting in the war room were the brief minutes before sleep took their exhausted minds or when they woke in a tangle of limbs in the morning. She longed for a moment alone to lose herself in his embrace, to lose herself in _him_.

Valina entered their quarters, already shedding her daggers. As she approached his desk, she was surprised to see his surcoat hung over the back of the chair – he'd taken it off only to sleep lately, knowing that the striking attire had become famous among the soldiers, an inspiration for vigour and bravery that could boost morale in such a dire moment.

She sifted through the pile of reports left there during their absence, but it was the small note that caught her eye, scribbled in his hand.

* * *

 _In the war room._

 _–_ _Love, C._

* * *

Valina hung her daggers and coat with his surcoat and headed for the ladder, eager for a change of clothes after a long day of training, and to find some elfroot to chew to sooth her lingering injuries.

 _His armour is here too?_

It was unusual, but he had complained about a few tears in his undershirt that morning.

She chewed on some elfroot, ignoring the bitter taste as she rummaged around in the draws, swapping her training clothes for one of Cullen's sweaters. Even bare legged, she felt warmer, the heavy knitted garment brushing her skin mid-thigh.

She considered waiting for him but knew he would be hours in the war room if left to his own devices, and she had no plans to eat alone the last night before the march.

Valina grabbed a furred cloak, sliding down the ladder. She hurried across the rampart to the Great Hall, pulling the cloak over her head to shield her face from the heavy droplets of rain that had bombarded the fortress all day.

She shook water off the cloak as she entered the hallway at the end of the rampart. Solas waved absently as she passed, and to her relief, the Great Hall was empty, the nobles finding shelter away from the hall, famous for frigid drafts on stormy nights.

Josephine was absent from her office, so Valina hurried on to the war room. As she entered, Cullen looked up from the massive table, his eyes softening the moment they fell upon her.

He wore only a sweater and some warm, lined pants, and his hair was rain dampened, curling free from its normal confines. This was the Cullen she saw in the morning before he became a Commander, the Cullen she'd longed for these past days.

'My love, what are you doing here?'

'I saw your note,' she said as she came around the table, 'I didn't feel much like sitting around waiting for you.'

He wrapped an arm around her, drawing her tight against his side. 'I'm glad,' he said as he pressed a kiss to her temple. He held her close, leaning his head on hers, absently rubbing his stubbled cheek over her hair even as he stared down at the table.

'Are we ready?'

'I think so.'

'And yet you sigh as you say it?'

'I'm… worried. This is perhaps the biggest step we've made towards defeating Corypheus. The next week may determine the course of the war, but there are still so many variables.'

Valina could hear the doubt in his voice. She stepped between him and the table, resting her hands on his chest, forcing him to lift his gaze away from the map.

'Cullen, we have prepared for this as best as we can, and we've accounted for all the conceivable variables we can possibly dream up, and then a few inconceivable ones just in case. This is the first time the Inquisition has even been truly close to ending this, is it not?'

'Yes, but–'

She caught his face in her hands. 'In a few days, Malakar will either have defeated Corypheus, or the war will continue. We have done our best to ensure we control that result, and we will continue to do so,' she said, her voice quiet but firm, 'we leave in the morning to march, and we will only be stopping to sleep. Tonight is the last night we may have to ourselves for some time. Can we not spend it together?'

Cullen stared down into her serpentstone gaze, an unabashed plea lying within them. He could not deny her, not when he felt the same plea echo in his mind.

He sighed, drawing her into his embrace. 'Of course, we can,' he whispered, touching his forehead to hers. He inhaled the soothing notes in her scent, the sweet aroma or roses an anchor to the present that dragged him from his tumultuous thoughts. 'You're right. There's little more we can do until we reach the Wilds.'

She pressed a kiss to his nose, eliciting a soft chuckle from him. She coaxed him closer with teasing caresses along his jaw, deft fingers dancing over his skin to cup the back of his neck and draw him down to her lips. After days of fleeting kisses and interrupted moments, he could not deny her, could not deny how much he'd longed for the warmth of her embrace, for the sweet sounds she made as he claimed her mouth.

His kiss was slow, sensual, tempered by his lingering fears of hurting her even as his fingers wound into the fabric of her cloak. He tried to be gentle, but he grew more eager for her and he pressed closer, tipping her head back to deepen the kiss.

The cloak fell from her shoulders, pooling at her feet as he pushed her back against the war table, the high curve of her arse hitting the edge. She moaned at the slow slide of his tongue along her bottom lip, at the sharp contrast between the softness of his lips and the graze of his stubble as he urged her to open for him, and she did so willingly, surrendering to his possession of her mouth and the passion of his embrace, arching against him as his arms dropped to surround her until he was all she could feel.

'We should…' His words ended on a low groan, and he kissed her again, struggling to remember where they were, but he was drawn to the breathy sounds she made. He stole her moans and gasps and revelled in the sharp bite of her nails through his sweater as she clutched at his shoulders.

'Cullen, I can't wait any longer.'

Her words stoked the fire within him, the flames of his desire igniting, kiss becoming fervent as his hands trailed lower, over the hem of the sweater where bare skin waited.

 _Maker, has it truly been weeks since I've made love to you?_ he thought as he kissed her, as she arched against him, unashamed by her desire. They'd stoked their passions to burning point through the letters they had exchanged but once she'd returned, he'd been too afraid to act on them, too afraid of hurting her when she was already in pain.

He groaned against her lips as her hands danced between them, easily unlacing his trousers. She slipped from his grasp and he had to catch himself with a hand on the table as she dropped to her knees, dragging his pants past his hips with a harsh tug, and then her hands were upon him. He widened his stance, knowing he would need his balance for what she intended.

He trembled under her caress, his cock pulsing eagerly, swelling with the slow, coaxing stroke of her hand. His shaft grew heavy under her sure caress, and he stifled a broken cry with his hand when her hot breath fell upon the sensitive head, the sound turning to a groan as her tongue darted around the crown. She teased him with light licks first, before her hand soon surrounded him, the many scars that crisscrossed her palm only adding to the pleasure she gave with every stroke.

His hips jerked as the tip of her tongue darted back and forth over the slit and he wept for her, the moan that vibrated through her as she tasted him nearly sending him over the edge. He tried to pull her off his shaft, eager to bury himself within her heat, but she was relentless, her hand stroking the length of his member while she focused her mouth on the head, licking and sucking, moaning around him until his knees shook and his hands held the table with a white-knuckled grasp.

'Is there someone in here?'

Cullen pressed his stomach to the table edge, hunching over it as if intent on the map. He was thankful that the only source of light in the room was the few remaining candles because in that moment he suspected his whole face was beet red as Josephine lingered at the door.

'Oh, Commander. I'm sorry, I should have realised it was you.'

'It's fine, Josephine,' he managed, having to cut off any further reassurance lest it came out as a gasp when Valina took him further into her mouth, her hand abandoning his shaft to clutch at his thigh.

'Have you had dinner yet?' Josephine asked.

'No, but I'll be sure to head to the tavern soon.'

'I will see you there, then. Why are you in here anyway? I thought you'd be with Valina by now.'

'I just wanted to look over the strategy one more time before we depart in the morning,' he said, and he _felt_ Valina grin around his girth at Josephine's statement, his hands clenching into fists as deft fingers tugged gently as his sack, her nails teasing the sensitive skin.

Josephine quirked an eyebrow at him. 'Are you all right, Cullen?'

He gave a curt nod. 'Quite. I'll finish up here soon.'

'Goodnight, then.'

Cullen started to breathe a sigh of relief, but quickly caught the sound in his throat when Josephine turned back, lifting papers from her ledger board.

'Oh, before I forget, I have some final reports for you. It seems silly to have a runner take them to you seeing as you're here.'

'Thank you,' he said, praying she would not look too closely as she placed the pile of missives on the table.

'Goodnight, Cullen.'

'Goodnight.'

The door shut behind her, and the breath he'd been holding shuddered from his lungs. He pushed back from the table, glaring down at Valina when she released him from her mouth with a wicked smirk. She rose from her knees, some mischievous words dancing on her tongue but he silenced her with his kiss, hands grasping the taut curve of her arse. He lifted her onto the table, calloused fingers finding the hem of the sweater, a growl rumbling in his chest as he wedged his hips between her thighs, the thick head of his cock meeting soft, dark curls.

Cullen pressed closer, cradled intimately by her heat when he rolled his hips to coat the thick head in her honey before he plunged into her needy cunt. Her silken walls enveloped him, clamping down upon his heavy shaft, a sharp cry tumbling from her lips at the sudden fullness. She clutched at his sweater, nails biting at his heated skin through the knitted fabric.

His grip on her thighs was almost bruising, but the pleasure he gave with every sharp roll of his hips overwhelmed all other sensations, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her ankles locking at his back to draw him closer. She bounced on the war table each time he drove into her, the pins and markers shaking in earnest with every thrust.

Valina could feel his control slipping, his breath shuddering in his lungs, her name falling from his lips like a prayer. Her core pulsed around his cock as if in answer to the husky sound of his voice, tightening as she neared her orgasm and he tilted his hips, finding the angle which would take him deeper.

Pleasure coiled and crackled deep in her loins as he shifted his stance, but once he was repositioned he rolled his hips to stimulate her sensitive clit as he thrust. She whimpered at the slowed pace, at the overwhelming fullness inside of her as he buried himself to the hilt, and she felt heat pool like lava in her core, her nerves clenching in anticipation. With a final roll of his hips, her orgasm took hold, her toes curling with the intensity of her climax.

Cullen pressed her head to his shoulder, muffling her scream as her needy cunt tightened around his heavy shaft, clamping down, again and again, urging him to release. His back went rigid as he lost his final thread of control, and he buried his head in her neck, almost biting down on her shoulder in an attempt to mask his roar as he joined her in her climax, and for a moment his vision blurred at the intensity of the pleasure that seared through his veins.

He framed her face with shaking hands, their kisses breathless, and he could feel the smile on her lips. For a moment they remained there, relishing in the pleasure that danced over their skin, and the intimacy of their joining.

He released her reluctantly, allowing her to hop down from the table. He tucked his flagging – satisfied – member back into his pants, tying the laces loosely before he ducked to pick up her cloak. He hung it over her shoulders, pulling it around her before he turned her on her toes, sweeping her up into his arms.

She did not protest. Instead, she draped an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled into his neck, and he chuckled at her content sigh. He pressed a kiss to cheek, unable to hide his smirk as he said, 'you planned that.'

Valina hummed her satisfaction. 'Not intentionally, but I wasn't going to miss the opportunity once it arose, Amatus,' she whispered against his skin, gooseflesh rising on his shoulder where her soft breaths fell, 'nor will I deny that I've been thinking about you all day.'

'And I you, my love,' he said, taking a final kiss as they left the war room, walking along the corridor with unhurried steps, the moon lighting the path through the crumbled wall.

She lifted her head, a wicked smile dancing on her lips. 'Do you think Josie heard?'

'She was going down to the tavern,' he said, though he did ease the door open, peeking through before he continued on, 'let's go get cleaned up and we'll join them. I think it would be good for everyone to be together one last time before we head to the Wilds.'

She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder again. 'I hope Maryden plays something we can dance to.'

'Me too, my love,' he whispered, 'me too.'


	23. What Pride Had Wrought

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

 **What Pride Had Wrought**

The march to the Arbor Wilds was heavy with anticipation, the nerves of the troops palpable in the air; they sensed the significance of the impending confrontation, with many knowing the hunt for Corypheus could be coming to an end.

The main Inquisition force arrived at a pre-set camp, constructed by the allies and Leliana's forward scouts, who were now engaged with Corypheus' forces, alongside the Inquisition's Orlesian allies.

When Cullen and Valina arrived at the main camp, a scout met them bearing news: the effort to clear a path had so far been hindered. The Wilds teemed with Red Templars, and to make matters worse, strange elves appeared from all quarters, attacking anything that crossed their path – Inquisition or Red Templar – further hindering progress towards the temple.

Cullen sent the scout on his way. He turned to Valina, taking her hand, his brow knotted with thoughts.

'Malakar is only hours behind us. We need to get that path cleared,' he said, and already she could sense him pulling away, 'Valina…'

She clutched at his surcoat, holding him in place. 'If you're about to tell me to stay here, don't. You need more than rookie soldiers to get through to the temple, and you know it.'

He sighed. 'I know, but I… I want you safe.'

'And I want _you_ safe, Amatus, so whether you like it or not, I _am_ coming with you, and I will fight by your side.'

Cullen stared down at her, feeling the pull of her serpentstone gaze.

 _Please, Valina_ , he wanted to say, _please stay here where I know you'll be safe. This one time, put down your daggers_ , but the words tasted bitter on his tongue as a memory surged forth…

 _Cullen pursed his lips. The words burned on his tongue, even as he struggled to find them. He had to tell her about what had been revealed downstairs in his confrontation with Benet, he knew, or she would read the lies from his tongue in the small movements on his face, would pick apart any mask he tried to hide behind._

 _He leant closer to Valina, supporting himself on the arm of her chair. 'D'or was the one who hired Mireille. He wanted to kill his ex-lover so that he would have no questionable attachments in the hope that he would convince your parents to accept him as your suitor.'_

 _As he'd feared, Valina's face went blank at his words. She stood sharply, turning away from him. A disturbing stillness settled over the room, her body statuesque as she processed the revelation. For moments that seemed like hours, she stood there, her eyes focused on the window across from her, as if time had ceased to move forward in the wake of her emotions, emotions that she normally leashed so tightly, but_ _he could sense the quiet, writhing anger that surged inside her, threatening to break forth._

 _Valina turned suddenly and Cullen shivered at the emptiness in her gaze, at the mask she wore over lips that spoke such sweet words to him, over eyes that shone with mischief for him in private – and not so private – moments._

 _'_ _Coffin it is.'_

 _Cullen shot forward, grasping Valina's shoulders. She fought his grip, hands vicelike on his wrists as she said, 'Let me go, Cullen.'_

 _Cullen tightened his hold as much as he could without hurting her, even as he fought grief to hear her voice so hollow._

 _'_ _Valina, as satisfying as it might be to kill him, it would only be fleeting. Wouldn't you much rather see him shut in a cell and stripped of his title? Disgraced?'_

 _Valina's grip softened but did not release. So many emotions played across her face, and he knew she was allowing him to see how much it affected her, that she was allowing him to see through the mask she so often wore._

 _'_ _I want him to hurt.'_

 _'_ _I broke his nose, my love, and Bull is watching D'or after hearing him insult both you and Malakar. Trust me, he is hurting.'_

 _She shook her head sharply. 'A few more broken bones can't hurt,' she snarled, eyes still burning with her anger, '_ kaffas _, why does everyone want to put me in a box?'_

 _'_ _I don't,' he whispered and the fight left her body. She looked up at him with wide eyes as he cupped her cheeks. 'I don't, Valina. Nor will I ever let anyone do so.'_

Cullen clenched his teeth. He would never – could never – ask her to sacrifice such an integral part of herself just to assuage his own fears. He would be no better than the nobles that had coveted her for the better part of her life, no better than Benet D'or.

He cupped her cheeks, pulling her onto her toes. He kissed her until they were both breathless, kissed her like there would be no tomorrow, like this was the last kiss they would ever share, because, for all he knew, it would be.

He leant his forehead against hers, catching his breath before he said, 'I will proudly walk into battle with you by my side.'

A smile bloomed on her lips, and he was breathless again.

* * *

An hour later Cullen and Valina marched into battle with the soldiers, forming one blockade, then a second, and finally they moved forth alone to form a third outside the temple, knowing Malakar would soon follow with his companions.

The conflict seemed endless. For every Red Templar they cut down, more would take their place. For every elf they killed, more would appear from the shadows, as if the Wilds themselves grew an endless supply. For hours, they held the blockade as wave after wave of foes approached, the temple taunting them with its nearness.

Cullen drew the melee fighters in while Valina darted around the outskirts, quickly dispatching their bow-wielding foes with her daggers. They worked as a team, playing off the other's strengths, a violent dance of their harmonised fighting styles.

Valina cut down a final elf, and for a rare moment, peace fell around them at the third blockade. Her muscles burned from the fight, and her sharp breaths tore at her throat, but she knew that every enemy they cut down would be one less for Malakar and his companions to face.

Valina surveyed the scene around them. The ground was littered with bodies, the grass red from the blood and gore. She searched for Cullen, finding him across the clearing, reassured again to see him fatigued but unscathed.

Cullen's chest heaved with exertion and his surcoat was splattered in blood, but he still stood strong, his shoulders back, his foothold firm, his shield never falling, and his blade never faltering.

Valina found Cullen's gaze, and even though she was on the edge of collapse, she felt a thrill of fire burn through her veins to see her lion incarnate in the golden eyes that blazed through his helm.

All too soon the moment passed, and their violent dance resumed as more Red Templars charged. They dug in, prepared to fight for hours more should they have to, but before the enemies reached them fire and ice mines scattered the ground between Valina, Cullen, and their foes.

'They're here!' Cullen called, rushing to Valina's side. She did not hesitate, ducking for cover behind him when he held up his shield. The mines exploded, the sound ear-shatteringly loud this close, but between the ringing in her ears she heard fragments of red lyrium from a Horror pelt his shield, the fire mine leaving only ash and coal in its wake.

Malakar, Dorian, Cassandra, and Cole rushed into the fray, and soon the area was clear again.

'Are you both all right?' Malakar asked.

'Fine, we're fine,' Valina said.

'You've done enough. The way back to camp is cleared now, and there's a contingent of soldiers right behind us. They'll be here to take over the blockade soon.'

Cullen straightened, sword at the ready. 'We'll stay and fight, Inquisitor.'

Cassandra lowered her shield. 'Commander, we were told you've both been out here for hours.'

'It's been relentless, but nothing we can't handle.'

'The moment the soldiers arrive, I want you both to head back to camp. No arguments,' Malakar said, pre-empting the words already forming on Cullen's tongue.

Cullen pursed his lips. 'Maker watch over you, Inquisitor,' he said, 'everyone, be safe. We'll see you once this is over.'

'We can hope so,' Dorian said, 'I've still got a lovely bottle of wine from Tevinter stashed away for that very occasion.'

'Care to tell me where you've hidden it, just in case?' Valina asked as they passed.

Dorian turned, walking backwards, a smirk on his lips as he called, 'Raid your family's cellars if you want some that desperately. You're not getting any from my supply, Vicious.'

She smirked under her mask. 'Bull and Varric will lose their tongues if they spread that name any further.'

Dorian scoffed. 'And yet it suits you so well.'

Malakar grabbed Dorian's arm, turning him around. Valina watched their body language, seeing his shoulders stiffen when he met Malakar's gaze. For a moment, their fingers entwined, their eyes locking. They braced themselves for whatever lay ahead, their gazes speaking what they had no time to say before they reached the stone structure and disappeared within.

The Wilds fell quiet, an eerie hush broken only by the smooth _shhhk_ of Valina returning her daggers to their sheaths. For the first time in hours, she allowed herself to be overwhelmed by her exhaustion, and she released a shuddering breath, dropping to her knees.

Fate was beyond their control now, all of Thedas resting in the hands of one extraordinary elf and his three companions.

Cullen crouched beside her, dropping his shield. His helm followed, clattering as it hit the boot-trampled, bloodied earth. He did not speak – he simply cupped her cheek with his hand, lifting her gaze. They stayed there, on the forest floor, stealing soft touches to reassure themselves of the other's safety until the soldiers arrived and took their posts, ready to hold the barricade.

Soldiers and scouts saluted as they passed. They walked in silence back to the main camp, prepared for lingering threats, but none emerged to face them, and soon they were weaving between the bustling Inquisition troops.

They liaised with Scout Harding, taking reports on the state of the Wilds, reassured to know that the Red Templar forces in had been cleared out of the immediate area. They managed a quick meeting with Josephine and Leliana to debrief and an hour of intent report reading before they were finally able to retire to their tent.

They stripped their bloodied clothes in silence, collapsing onto their mat and burrowing deep beneath the furs, a tangle of bone-tired, bruise covered limbs. It took mere minutes before Cullen allowed sleep to take him, too weary to fear his dreams when he held Valina so tightly.

For a while – how long, she did not know – Valina merely gazed at her slumbering lion. A smile lit her lips the see his blonde hair in such unruly curls. She swept her fingers through the tangled strands before she traced his cheek, his jaw, the roughness of his stubble an anchor to the present.

She longed to drift off into slumber by his side, yet she could not seem to calm her mind enough to follow; even as her body ached, thoughts churned within. Concern for the people she had come to call friends. Hope that the war would be over this night. Fear that once it was over…

She could not even think about the 'if' that danced on the edge of her thoughts. There had hardly been time to wonder about their future, let alone discuss it. Logically, she knew such thoughts should not upset her, but still, they lingered. It was unsettling, to be so affected by uncertainty when months before she felt indifferent about her future.

How things could change.

* * *

Valina managed only a few restless hours before a shadow appeared outside their tent.

'Commander? My Lady?' a scout called.

Valina cracked open an eye at the voice. 'Yes?'

'We've had word from the Inquisitor.'

 _They're safe_ , she thought, and she felt hope spark again.

'Thank you,' she said, as she extracted herself from Cullen's arms, 'we'll be there shortly.'

Valina roused him gently, careful not to startle him – it took time for fighting instincts to wear off.

Cullen furrowed his brow at her, holding her hand against his cheek as he mumbled, 'what is it, my love?'

'Malakar is back.'

Cullen dragged his eyes open. His movements were stiff as he sat up, an inadvertent groan rumbling in his chest at the pain that lingered in his battered body. He looked as exhausted as Valina felt, but she could mask the worse of her pain; she would not make him worry, not when bruises still lingered on her torso from the dragon fight. A strong elfroot potion would soothe the worst of her pain.

Cullen rubbed at his face, pulling at his cheeks as he tried to wipe away his grogginess. 'How long did we sleep?'

'I'm not sure,' she said, cupping his cheek, 'but it's dark now. I see only firelight outside.'

Valina stole a kiss then pushed the furs back. They stretched before they dressed, movements lethargic, their muscles aching and burning after days on the march and hours of fighting. Valina helped Cullen strap on his armour, his arms and back stiff from the weight of his shield and the heavy blows he'd landed with his sword.

She ran her fingers through his hair, sweeping the loose strands back. He caught her hand on his cheek, turning to place a kiss on her palm, savouring a final private moment before they emerged from the tent.

The camp was abuzz with rumours, but they had little time to listen to them, the scout which had woken them quickly leading them to Josephine's tent. Leliana was already waiting beside Josephine. The moment Valina and Cullen entered, they sensed the tension in the air.

'What happened?'

'We received a letter.'

'A letter?'

Josephine rose from the compact desk, handing them the missive. Cullen unrolled it, holding it so Valina could read it at the same time.

* * *

Inquisition Advisors,

Josephine Montiliyet, Leliana Nightingale, Cullen Rutherford.

Inquisition Camp, Arbor Wilds, Orlais.

 _My friends,_

 _I hope this reaches you quickly. Do not wait for us in the Wilds. Much transpired in the temple, some beyond belief. I will explain in full when you arrive back at Skyhold, but for now, a brief account will have to suffice._

 _When we entered the temple we encountered Corypheus. We were prepared to fight, but he triggered an ancient magical trap. He seemed to die in the explosion, and we followed Samson deeper into the temple. We fought through the Red Templars there and encountered a number of elven rituals. It was lucky we completed them, time-consuming as they seemed. The elves that attacked us on the approach through the Wilds were sentinels, guardians to the Temple of Mythal. They appreciated the reverence we had shown, and we were able to negotiate an alliance. Morrigan, however, became angered when Abelas, their leader, said he would destroy the Well, an ancient source of knowledge and energies. She ran off alone, but I can assure you she is safe. The sentinels assisted us in stopping Samson, who will be returned to Skyhold for judgement, and when we reached Morrigan, I again negotiated with Abelas and he granted us access to the Well._

 _Morrigan drank from the Well and has gained the knowledge within. Corypheus clearly thought to take the knowledge for himself, and it is lucky he did not succeed. After Morrigan drank from the Well, we learnt that Corypheus still lives. I know not how, only that this is not over. I can tell you now hope is not lost, even though we were forced to flee through an eluvian to avoid Corypheus' wrath._

 _This is as much as I can tell you. I know it's not enough but it's as much as I can provide that will make sense in a letter. I promise to explain in full upon your return. Hurry back to Skyhold._

 _Malakar._

* * *

Scouts and allies were left in charge of packing up while Cullen, Valina, Leliana, and Josephine raced back to Skyhold. They wasted no time upon their return, meeting Malakar in the war room.

'I'm pleased to report we won the battle, Inquisitor,' Cullen said, 'but it appears that when you went through that mirror, Corypheus and his archdemon fled the field. I suspect it has something to do with the Well, as you mentioned in your letter.'

'What he wanted was no longer within the temple,' Morrigan said in confirmation.

Cullen nodded. 'He spent so long trying to get into the temple, he probably couldn't have helped his forces by that point.'

'Then Corypheus is finished?' Josephine asked, quill poised over her ledger.

'If he is wise,' Leliana said, 'he will rebuild his strength before he attacks again.'

'He will not hide.'

'Meaning he will attack us directly, at Skyhold?' Valina asked. It was a logical plan, especially for one as desperate as Corypheus would be after losing the Well.

The mage shook her head. 'Not necessarily, but neither will he remain idle.'

'And how could you have such insight into his plans?'

'The Well of Sorrows held many voices, and they speak to me now from across the ages,' Morrigan said, and Valina caught the wonder that lingered in her eyes, 'they hold wisdom, secrets I never dreamt possible. Even they fear what Corypheus has become.'

Malakar had been silent, lost in his thoughts, but the words seemed to jolt him from the depths of his mind. 'It sounds as if we should fear him more than we fear his army.'

A delicate shrug. 'Possibly, but he has a weakness.' A smirk curled her lips, subtle, as much of her expressions seemed to be. 'The dragon he calls is not an archdemon as seen in the Blight ten years ago. It _is_ a dragon, in which Corypheus has invested part of his being. He doubtless did so out of pride, to emulate the gods of old, and his pride can be exploited. If you kill the dragon, his ability to leap into other bodies is disrupted. He _can_ be slain.'

'Then what do you propose?' Cullen asked, voice sharp, 'killing the dragon is not a simple task, even if we could find it.'

'There is a way to defeat the dragon, to match Corypheus in his power. The Well whispers it to me. Your help will be required, Inquisitor. Speak to me when you're ready. I understand it has been a difficult few days, but I'm sure you appreciate the immediacy of the situation.'

Morrigan left without another word, leaving Malakar with his advisors and Valina.

'We'll see to Skyhold's defences in the meantime,' Cullen said, 'the recruits did well to defend the fortress in our absence, but in case Corypheus does plan an attack, we need to be ready.'

'Of course, Commander. After some rest, though,' Malakar said, 'we all need it.'

Valina touched Cullen's arm, knowing he would want to discuss the matter with Josephine and Leliana. 'I'll see you down at the Herald's Rest.'

She followed Malakar from the room, catching up to him in a few strides before they reached the door to Josephine's office.

'Malakar?'

He paused, turning to face her, a smile on his lips. 'You know, you're the only one who calls me by my name apart from Dorian. Everyone else calls me the Inquisitor or the Herald.'

'You were a person before you became the Inquisitor, and while I may be Andrastian, I don't believe it's fair to heap a religious title on you which insults your culture.'

'I…' He glanced down, taking a moment to process her words. 'Thank you, no one has ever…' He looked up again, clenching his jaw as he restrained his emotions. 'Thank you. Will you walk with me to the tavern?'

'Of course.'

They continued through Josephine's office and into the Great Hall. A few nobles lingered there, but they fell silent when they laid eyes on Valina. Her reputation had spread rapidly among the nobles since her arrival – the famed daughter of House Voclain – and none dared gossip within earshot of her.

When they exited the main doors, Malakar snorted, unable to contain his laughter any longer. 'It hasn't been that quiet in the Hall since this place was mostly in ruins.'

'Walk with me more often. You'll be amazed at how peaceful a noble can be when they know you can ruin them with a letter, or so the legends say.'

Malakar laughed again.

'I've been meaning to ask,' Valina said, 'why you've included me at the war table recently. You already have a military advisor, a spy, and a diplomat. I see not what else I can offer you.'

'Josie, Leliana, and Cullen each come at a problem from a specific angle. This has helped, on a number of occasions, but when it comes to something like Corypheus we've learnt that no single strategy works.'

'Go on.'

'You offer a unique perspective because you are in a unique situation. You understand the intricacies of battle like Cullen because you're experienced in combat. You are a skilled spy like Leliana, attested by your success as a mercenary, and your interesting arrival at Skyhold. You're a noble, and a feared one at that. You know the intricacies of a court like Josephine, and how to manipulate even the most powerful of our allies.'

'While I'm flattered by the analysis, it still means I offer you no more than you already have.'

'We're in a war, and we need action. You witnessed the conversation before we departed Skyhold for the Wilds. That was only one instance of disagreement between the three. I have spent many hours arguing at the war table with them because we couldn't agree on whether or not to contact a noble first, or whether we should send in extra scouts or recruit soldiers on the march to an area.'

They entered the tavern, and Valina claimed a seat facing the door. They waved down a server, taking a flagon each.

Malakar rubbed at his temples for a moment before he met her gaze. 'I hope my saying so doesn't offend you, but you have an incredible ability to compartmentalise, unlike anyone I have seen. You can remove your emotions from the situation, remove the specific lenses – be it military strategy, espionage, or diplomacy – and calculate an effective strategy without agonising over the hesitant 'if'. Many people who do not know you must think you cold for that, but that's what we need. It has helped in more situations than you realise, and it may be what gets us through this war.'

'You have a lot of faith in someone who Leliana described as chaotic neutral.'

'You heard about that, did you?'

A wicked smile curled her lips. 'Cullen will tell me anything if I ask nicely.'

'I… don't want to know,' Malakar said, though he did answer her smirk, 'but you wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be. I'm sure the Commander is only one part of the drawcard.'

'He was _the_ drawcard originally, but you're right. As much as I enjoy the life of a mercenary, I feel a part of something here. I've made friends here, learnt just how much Mireille twisted what it meant to be a friend. I've not had an opportunity to do that for longer than I care to remember because it was too dangerous. I suppose it still is, in some ways. Blackwall– Rainier, is proof that, to a degree, but at least his lie hurt him most of all.'

Malakar pursed his lips, and she knew he did not want to discuss the matter further. Rainier's lie had only recently been revealed, and although Malakar had forgiven Rainier because the man had shown himself to be unwaveringly loyal to the Inquisition, it was still a fresh wound. She knew, however, that his ire remained high primarily for the pain it had caused Josephine, one of Malakar's closest friends among the Inquisition – she'd yet to hear if the fledgeling romance had recovered.

Malakar cleared his throat. 'Tomorrow, we begin preparing to face Corypheus, once and for all. Let's not dwell on such things,' he said, dragging a smile onto his lips, 'our men should be here soon. For one night, I want to think of nothing but what I am thankful for.'

Valina raised her flagon. 'I can toast to that.'


	24. Shall the Maker be My Guide

**Chapter Twenty-four**

 **Shall the Maker be My Guide**

Two days passed, tension rising in Skyhold. With few troops to guard the fortress and the threat of Corypheus imminent after the events in the Wilds, everyone was on high alert. The weather did little to boost morale, storms battering the stone stronghold from all sides and waylaying the return of the troops from the Arbor Wilds. The mood was sour among the recruits who patrolled the battlements, picking up only when they found a fire to dry off in front of, especially if that fire happened to be in the tavern.

Malakar met with Morrigan on the second afternoon following the war room revelation about Corypheus' dragon, and rumours made their way through Skyhold until even the kitchen staff speculated about the Inquisitor's plan. For their part, Valina and Cullen remained clandestine about the events in the war room, knowing it would help little to reveal details about the discussion. They could only wait.

They sat side by side at a table in the Herald's Rest, stealing glances and lingering touches beneath the table, a quiet moment to themselves. Since their return from the Wilds, they'd had had little time to savour even the smallest acts of intimacy between answering letters, writing reports, and maintaining the recruits' watch schedule. Even Bull had not approached them, as he often would, although he was arguably… distracted.

No one dared disrupt their meal or the quiet conversation that weaved between the commander and his rogue, too scared of the gaze that Valina would level upon them. From any other, it would just seem like a blank, almost disinterested look, but from the woman known affectionately as 'Vicious' among her friends, it was a piercing glare that sent even the hardiest scout bolting in the opposite direction.

Which is why, when it came time to call them to the war room again, the resident scouts selected Jim as an offering.

They gathered outside the front of the tavern, a group of four pushing the man towards the entrance. He dug his heels in but it was no use, the muddy ground slick from days of steady rain, and with a final determined shove from his companions, he tumbled into the Herald's Rest.

Jim managed to stay on his feet. He tugged at the front of his uniform, clearing his throat as he rehearsed the words in his mind. His feet felt leaden as he neared their table, almost dragging with every step, but he pursed his lips, determined to hold his ground against Valina's serpentstone stare, and the Commander's tawny glare.

He stopped at the end of their table, almost losing his nerve when Valina instantly swept her gaze over him, when she _smiled_ at him, a knowing curl on her lips that seemed to draw out images and memories that he wanted so desperately to bury in the depths of his mind.

 _Maker, I wish I could forget that afternoon I interrupted them. Never again, never again…_

Jim cleared his throat again, standing tall even though his hands shook at his sides. 'Commander, Lady Valina, your presence is required in the war room. The Inquisitor needs to see you at once.'

Valina and Cullen shared a glance before they rose from the table together. Jim breathed a sigh of relief when Cullen waved him off, his duty done for the night, and the pair raced from the tavern, across the muddy grounds in the rare moment of dry skies, and up the steps to the Great Hall. The nobles gathered there whispered and tittered excitedly to see Cullen enter in such a haste but the moment they spotted Valina on his heels, they glanced away as if enthralled by the décor.

Cullen glanced over his shoulder, smirking at her before he turned his attention to the doors that led to Josephine's office.

Josephine was preparing her ledger when they passed through, and she followed swiftly on their heels to the war room where Malakar, Morrigan, and Leliana waited. There was no time for pleasantries, it seemed, for the moment Cullen, Valina, and Josephine took their place on the opposite side of the table, the meeting began.

Leliana folded her hands at her back. 'Morrigan, did you find what you need?'

A smile curled on her lips. 'I know now that I can match Corypheus' dragon, yes,' she said, then turned her attention to Malakar, 'but it is up to you to face the Magister himself, Inquisitor.'

Malakar's jaw tightened, and he answered with a curt nod.

'Then there is only one thing for us to do: find Corypheus before he comes to us.'

'We've been looking for his base since the beginning,' Leliana said, 'without success. How will that change now?'

'His dragon doesn't just materialise out of thin air,' Cullen said, 'it must come and go from _somewhere_.'

Josephine stepped forward. 'Perhaps it is hiding in the Deep Roads? We could contact Orzammar, and hire envoys to–'

Green light flared through the room, the anchor crackling and sparking with power. Malakar grasped his wrist, gritting his teeth against the magics that surged through his hand. At first, the group thought another thunderstorm was beginning to roll over the fortress when the sky above rumbled, their focus on the flaring anchor, but Valina watched Malakar's face, watched his eyes drift up from his palm to the windows at her back.

Valina nudged Cullen's arm, turning him, and Josephine and Leliana quickly caught on. The sky rumbled again, the rift churning in the distance, sparks of light streaking the air.

Morrigan dragged her eyes back to Malakar. 'It seems, Inquisitor, that Corypheus is not content to wait.'

Malakar stared at his open palm as the green glow subsided, and he grit his teeth against the surge of power. He took a shuddering breath as the mark finally calmed, stormy gaze lifted to his companions.

'He's in the Valley of Sacred Ashes.'

'Then your time has come. You must close the Breach or it will swallow the world.'

'But that's madness!' Josephine said, a note of panic in her gaze, fear for her friend, 'wouldn't it kill him as well?'

Valina studied Malakar's face, the slow knotting of his brow, the icy determination in his blue eyes, and the hard line of his lips as he looked up from the mark.

'He's willing to take that chance.'

Cullen curled his finger around the hilt of his sword, an instinctual response to the thought of the danger Malakar would face. 'Inquisitor, we have no forces to send with you. We must wait for them to return from the Arbor Wilds.'

'If I don't go now, it will be too late.'

'Inquisitor, please,' Josephine said, 'I'm sure the first contingent of troops will arrive in the next few days.'

'The weather will not subside for days, for all we know. The road is treacherous enough when dry. Even if they march through the worst of it, they're three or four days march away according to Leliana's most recent reports.'

'It's true,' Leliana admitted, 'I've received regular updates, with the last report arriving an hour before you summoned us for this meeting. They've not even reached the D'or estate in Sahrnia yet.'

Cullen shook his head. 'You cannot face this alone.'

'He won't be alone,' Valina said, eyes still on Malakar, mapping the frustration that tugged at his brow and the weight that settled on his shoulders, the sheer responsibility of the task finally succeeding in bowing them to its will, and still he did not falter. She felt Cullen's gaze snap to her, but she ignored the burning sensation on her scalp, continuing. 'The core members of the Inquisition are in this very fortress. I, for one, am ready to follow you. After all, that is ultimately why you recruited me, is it not? To help you face Corypheus, no matter the circumstance?'

'I can't ask you to do that, Valina,' Malakar said, 'we dragged you into this war. You've done more than enough for us.'

'You don't need to ask.'

Malakar pursed his lips again, but he nodded, knowing that Valina did not commit lightly. He glanced at Cullen. The Commander's jaw was tight, hand still on the hilt of his sword. As much as he hated to take another into danger with him, they were running out of options. If Corypheus attacked Skyhold, if he attacked when only a contingent of new recruits guarded the fortress, with backup days away…

He shook off the thought, remembering the conversation he had with Valina only nights before, remembering what he'd said.

 _'We're in a war, and we need action… you have an incredible ability to compartmentalise, unlike anyone I have seen. You can remove your emotions from the situation, remove the specific lenses – be it military strategy, espionage, or diplomacy – and calculate an effective strategy without agonising over the hesitant 'if'. Many people who do not know you must think you cold for that, but that's what we need. It has helped in more situations than you realise, and it may be what gets us through this war.'_

When he opened his eyes she was still looking at him, that serpentstone gaze focused so intently. He feared for his friends, for the people he had grown to love but, much as he hated it, she was right. Each and every person joined the Inquisition because of the cause, because of the ultimate goal, and they were finally, truly in reach of it.

'We leave at dawn.'

A heavy silence fell upon the room until barely even a breath could be heard. Even Cullen's quiet murmur of, 'I need a moment,' seemed loud as it broke through the stillness.

Cullen turned from Valina, walking around the table and out the door, ignoring the eyes that followed him as he entered the Great Hall, ignoring the whispers of the ignorant nobles – Ferelden and Orlesian both – when he slammed the courtyard door behind himself.

He marched across the cobblestone, fighting his fear and anger as he approached the altar steps, but he could not fight the memories that surged forth.

 _Cullen stumbled forward, pushing Dorian aside. He cupped her cheeks with shaking fingers. Her face felt icy even through his gloves, and her bronzed skin was pallid, drained of the vibrant glow he had grown to love. He bent his head over hers, trying to capture her serpentstone gaze, but she could not focus her eyes on him, her lids sliding closed. He glanced over her body, seeing the shining stain on her dark coat._

 _Cullen watched helplessly as Dranus placed his hands on Valina's ribs either side of the wound, forming a frame around the deep slit with Malakar. The room crackled with energy and a soft glow danced between their hands. Before their eyes, the bleeding stopped and the wound slowly knit back together, their healing magic quickly taking hold._

 _Valina took a sharp breath. It shuddered through her body, then finally settled in a steady rhythm again. She relaxed, and the people around her uttered a collective sigh of relief._

 _'Thank you,' Dranus whispered, 'thank you.'_

 _'We need to take her back to camp,' Malakar said as he removed his hands from her ribs, allowing Dorian to pull him away, 'she needs rest.'_

 _'I'll take her.'_

 _Cassandra moved, allowing Cullen to shift to her side. Dranus grasped his arm, forcing Cullen to look up._

 _'Please,' Cullen whispered._

 _Dranus' serpentstone gaze was assessing, but whatever he saw in Cullen's eyes made him relent. Cullen hooked his arms beneath her shoulders and knees, lifting her petite body easily. He cradled her tight against his chest, relieved to see colour returning to her skin._

It was hard to believe that it was mere months since they had rescued her parents from their estate, mere months since she'd nearly lost her life to her father's staff blade before they managed to break the spell. The thought of losing her had nearly destroyed him then. He knew now that if he lost her, he would lose himself.

Still, he could not ask her to stay, knew that even in the face of their ultimate enemy, he would never – could never – ask her to sacrifice integral parts of herself just to ease his fears.

* * *

Malakar did not watch Cullen as he left, his focus on the war table. 'This is going to be a difficult night. I suggest you all get some rest,' he said, leaning on the edge, gaze lowered to the map, 'we'll leave at first light.'

The group filtered out in silence. Valina was the last to leave. She knew she had upset Cullen, even if he would not say it outright, and she knew where he might have gone to deal with the emotions that her declaration would invoke. This wasn't a simple hunt for a Highland Ravager, though they would likely have to face the red lyrium dragon. Essentially, their target was a god.

She entered Josephine's office, deep in thought. Still, she felt her mother's presence and she shifted her focus from the door ahead, finding Amira's soft blue gaze.

'Valina, is everything all right? I saw Cullen leave. He did not look well.'

'It will be. I have to leave in the morning to help Malakar. In case I don't see dad, please give him my love.'

'Leave? Where are you going this time?'

Amira was well aware of the situation outside Skyhold and the results of the expedition to the Arbor Wilds, and still, Valina considered lying in that moment, but she knew it would be no use. Somehow, her mother would find out her true destination.

'The Valley of Sacred Ashes.'

Amira pursed her lips for a moment before she asked, 'The rift?'

'Yes,' she said, 'and this can finally end. Malakar can end it. But our army is days away, and we don't have much time.'

'You're going with the Inquisitor, aren't you?'

Valina nodded, and Amira sighed. 'That explains the look on Cullen's face when he walked past. He may not admit it but he is scared for you, and I sense he doesn't want you to go.'

'I know,' she said as she remembered the conversation she and Cullen had before she left to face the Highland Ravager, and the fear in his eyes before they left camp to fight in the Arbor Wilds, 'just like you don't want me to go either.'

'True. You are my daughter. I may wish you would stay where it is safe this one time, but I know better than to argue. Once you've set your mind to something, you'll see it through.'

Valina managed a smile, pulling Amira into a tight hug. 'Unless someone offers me better pay.'

Amira tightened her embrace. 'There's no better pay than love,' she whispered before she pulled back, forcing a smile onto her lips, 'now, go find your Commander. I dare say he needs you more than I.'

She kissed Valina's cheek, then gave her daughter a little shove towards the door.

Valina entered the Great Hall, weaving through the thinning crowd of nobles and envoys. She entered the courtyard, finding it empty of the usual patrons who had long sought cover as rain began to fall again, thunder booming overhead as another storm rolled over Skyhold.

She quieted her steps as she came closer to the door, finding it open. The soft glow of candles filling the room, silhouetting Cullen's kneeling form. She paused in the doorway, holding onto the frame as his voice drifted to her even though it was hardly more than a whisper.

'Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the beyond… For there is no darkness in the Maker's light, and nothing that He has wrought shall be lost.'

'A prayer for you?'

Cullen's shoulders went tense for the barest moment, startled by her voice, but he quickly relaxed again.

'For those we have lost,' he said, head turning slightly back to her, 'and those I am afraid to lose.'

'You're frightened by my going to the Valley.'

Cullen sighed. 'I am. Corypheus possessed a Grey Warden at the temple. I can't help but wonder what more he is capable of. It's only a matter of time before he retaliates.' Cullen finally lifted his head, rising from his knee. When he turned to face her, she saw shadows lurking in his tawny gaze, the fears he tried to hide.

'We must draw strength wherever we can. When the time comes, you will be thrown into his path.' He approached slowly, stopping just out of reach, and still, he did not meet her gaze. 'I know it is where you must be, that it is the best course of action and that I must follow the Inquisitor's path, but… Andraste preserve me, I must send you to him.'

Valina stepped closer, reaching up to cup his face with one hand. 'There's nothing to worry about, I have luck on my side,' she said as she reached beneath the collar of her tunic, pulling on the chain that hung there. She brought the coin to her lips, pressing a kiss to it before she held it in front of his gaze. 'Remember?'

Cullen caught her hand in his own, bringing it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the coin also, then to her fingertips, a quiet chuckle rumbling deep in his chest. 'That's less comforting than I'd hoped, but if anyone can…' He trailed his hand down her arm, coaxing her into his embrace.

Valina clung to him, not caring about how his armour bit into her skin, or the chills that contact with the cold metal sent through her. He needed this, this moment of quiet intimacy, and she needed it too.

'Whatever happens,' he whispered in her ear before turning his head to press a kiss to her neck, 'you _will_ come back.'

'You know I will.'

'To believe anything else… I can't.'


	25. Doom Upon All the World

**Chapter Twenty-five**

 **Doom Upon All the World**

The Inquisitor and his companions were prepared to set out that morning before dawn. Valina planned to sneak out, to leave a kiss on Cullen's cheek and a letter on his pillow promising she would return. The thought of saying goodbye had almost been too much to bear knowing the danger she was about to face, but Cullen was awake when Valina sat up in the cover of darkness. He caught her arm in his firm grasp, dragging her back down into his embrace. They did not speak except to say _I love you_ before Valina slid from beneath the covers and dressed for battle.

It was quiet at the gate where the companions gathered on horseback with a small contingent of willing recruits, a solemn silence hanging over the group that spoke volumes of the sacrifice they were willing to make, should it come to that.

Malakar and Dorian were the last to arrive. They moved to the front, leading the way out of Skyhold's gate and across the bridge. Even though it was daytime, the closer they got to the Breach, the darker it became, the churning sky above blotting out the sun, green sparks of energy providing an eerie illumination to the scene as they approached the Valley of Sacred Ashes.

It took a great deal to spook Master Dennet's fine steeds but the group of companions left the horses well away from the decrepit structure, loosely tied to trees lest they need to escape before they began their way up towards the red glow that permeated the darkness.

'Dorian, Cassandra, Bull, with me,' Malakar said, voice clipped as he hurried through his instructions while they walked, 'Valina, Harding, follow close behind. We need sharp eyes and ears around us. Varric, Cole, Thom, Sera, Vivienne, Solas, spread out and watch for demons. Morrigan, you do what you need to do and find that dragon. We have to be prepared for every scenario we talked about.' The group nodded, and Malakar pursed his lips. He knew what they were about to face, knew that they may not come out of it alive, but they had to try. 'Be careful–'

Sparks arched into the sky from the decrepit structure, the sacred temple that lay in pieces, devastated by the blast that tore the Breach into the sky above so many months ago. Red light emanated into the sky, stifling some of the eerie green glow of the Breach.

Ahead they heard a voice echoing off the stone walls of the temple, a deep croaky tenor that vibrated through their chests as it boomed through the collapsing edifice.

Cassandra went to Malakar's side when they first heard the voice drifting down the path and the pair shared a glance. Clearly, they recognised the speaker.

 _Corypheus_.

'…where is your Maker now?' he asked the handful of Inquisition soldiers who had been sent ahead by Scout Harding, 'Call Him to your aid. Call His wrath down upon me now…' The soldiers glanced at each other, blades firm in their grips despite the intimidating monster before them, despite the eerie chuckle that rumbled in Corypheus' chest. 'You cannot, for He does not exist. I am Corypheus, and I shall deliver you from this lie in which you linger. Bow before me. Bow before your new god and you will be spared.'

'Never!' a soldier shouted ahead, strong and determined even in the face of the ancient darkspawn magister, in the face of a self-proclaimed god.

Red light sparked and flared, the orb coming into view as the companions raced up the hill, eyes falling upon the scene. Corypheus stood before a broken archway, elevated by the steps as he stared down, surveying the soldiers, haggard lips curled in a sickening smile.

'As you wish.'

The Inquisition soldiers shielded their faces from the blinding flare of light as the orb pulsed, power crackling through the air, flashes and sparks arching into the sky before demons spawned in front of the soldiers.

'Come on!' Malakar yelled, sprinting ahead as the soldiers engaged with the Terror demons, hacking and slashing at the towering monsters, Malakar's heart filling with pride to see the recruits stand so bravely against their foe.

One of the soldiers was thrown backwards, a sharp cry breaking from his lips. Scout Harding sprinted to his side, helping him to his feet as the companions threw themselves into the fray. She ordered the recruits to retreat, handing off the wounded soldier to his comrade before she dropped back into cover, watching for more demons, her bow at the ready

The final terror demon fell by Cassandra's blade, and the companions regrouped, Malakar staring up at their foe.

'I knew you would come,' Corypheus said, arching down in a bow.

'It's over Corypheus. I won't let you open the Breach again,' Malakar said, tightening his grip on his staff, prepared to attack, 'it ends here.'

Corypheus smiled again, and Valina readjusted her grip on her blades. He was grandstanding, taunting, but behind the smirk, there was vicious, deep-seated anger, and Malakar was the focus.

'And so it shall.'

He raised his hand, the orb hovering over his mangled, talon like fingers. It sparked and crackled, and Valina felt the hair on the back of her neck rise as magic danced violently in the air. The ground shook beneath their feet, the six companions struggling to keep their footing. A sinking feeling settled in Valina's stomach as the temple and surrounding grounds began to rise from the earth with a lurch, the very earth beneath their feet trembling.

Valina heard Scout Harding gasp and she turned, watching as the dwarf tipped backwards. Valina sprinted towards the edge, dirt and rock crumbling in front of her feet as she stopped precariously, staring down.

'Lace!'

Harding coughed, shielding her face from the dirt. 'I'm fine,' she shouted up as the temple lifted higher and higher into the air, waving Valina back, 'I'll join the others! Help Malakar.'

Valina wasted no time. If anyone could hold her own, it was Harding. She turned back to the group, joining her companions as they stood firm.

'You have been surprisingly successful in foiling my plans, but I have not forgotten what you are: a thief, in the wrong place at the wrong time. A trespasser. An insignificant gnat. We shall prove here, once and for all, which of us is worthy of godhood.'

'I'm here to stop you, Corypheus,' Malakar shouted as he met Corypheus' glowing gaze, 'nothing more.'

'We shall see.'

A deafening roar sounded above and the companions lifted their gaze as the red lyrium dragon descended from the stormy sky, landing on a crumbling section of the temple. It stalked forward, claws scraping at the ancient stone, digging furrows as it positioned itself beside its master on the raised ledge. A growl rumbled in its chest, and for the briefest moment the five companions feared that the witch had betrayed them in their most dire moment, but a _swoosh_ sounded above and a massive horned dragon slammed into the corrupted red lyrium fiend.

'It's Morrigan!' Dorian yelled above the sound of the clashing beasts, over their roars as the two dragons fell from the floating section of the temple, fighting mid-air.

Corypheus turned back to the group, a sneer twisting his face. 'You dare,' he said, voice thick with venom as he drifted towards the group, power crackling around him, 'you may think yourself clever for bringing a dragon, but it will give you no advantage against me. You will die as a warning to those who oppose my divine will!'

'I told you, Corypheus – this ends now.'

'For you, it will!' Corypheus snarled, lifting his mangled hands.

Malakar raised his staff, gritting his teeth as he cast a shield over the group, holding firm against the magical blast Corypheus unleashed against them. Cassandra sprinted forward, shield at the ready, and Iron Bull charged ahead with her, unleashing a battle cry.

'If you desire death, you shall have it!' Corypheus shouted, teleporting away from the melee fighters, but he placed himself in Valina's path. She leapt forward, slashing at his back before he teleported again. He glanced back to where she'd attacked him, but she cloaked herself in shadow, and so he found Malakar's gaze.

'You will feel my wrath, little wretch!' he snarled, raising his hands again. Power crackled over the battle field, demons screeching as they spawned from small portals in the sky. 'You will have your wish!'

He teleported away, seeking higher ground as the demons converged on the group. Valina took out the closest demon before leaping towards Dorian, following the mage's cue and ripping through the frozen wraith.

'Come on!' Malakar called, hailing the group to the decrepit stairs to the side of the archway Corypheus had stood beside.

Corypheus' voice boomed over the stormy sounds of the rift above and the roars of the fighting dragons. 'Look at you, wearing slave markings on your face with pride. You are _nothing_. Born to a race of snivelling cowards that withered before Tevinter's strength!'

'Don't listen to him, Amatus,' Dorian yelled, running beside Malakar. He grit his teeth, brow knotted with rage to hear his lover insulted.

'I know, Vhenan,' Malakar said, glancing sideways. He reached out, snagging Dorian's hand for the briefest moment, with perfect timing. He dragged the other mage into a crouch when they reached the top of the stairs.

Valina glanced sideways at the same time, reacting. 'Down!' she yelled, grabbing Bull's meaty arm. The group ducked as the dragons crashed through the high stone walls of the temple, tails and wings cracking the heavy stone as they flew overhead, snapping and clawing at each other.

The five companions lurched to their feet, racing around old stone pillars towards their cunning foe, unable to hide their approach from Corypheus' high vantage. He snarled, raising his hands, channelling his magic to cast a powerful spell, the red beam ripping through the stone and dirt at their feet. They flung themselves away from the attack, but Cassandra weathered the onslaught, deflecting some of it with her shield.

'I will not stand for this outrage!' Corypheus roared, the ground shaking beneath his feet, reacting to his wrath.

'He's teleporting again,' Valina said, pointing towards the next set of stairs. Malakar did not wait, turning, trusting in her intuition, following Corypheus' advance up through the temple.

They sprinted below a set of archways, Bull almost losing his footing on the crumbling steps, but still, he charged ahead, and still, the dragons roared and raged above them, grappling with deadly claws and snapping mouths, Morrigan using her new horns to great effect to rip and smash at the dragon's head.

The five companions hurried up the final steps, emerging in an open section of the temple grounds. The area glowed, massive crystalline shards of red lyrium jutting from the dirt.

Corypheus stopped ahead, turning on them. 'Enough! I will destroy you where you stand.'

Magic crackled in the air again, demons spawning around them. The group worked in harmony, quickly dispatching the demons, preparing to give chase to their foe again, but an almighty roar sounded above. They looked up to the sky, watching as Morrigan flew up towards the churning rift.

'What is she doing?' Bull asked.

'Something clever,' Valina said, a smirk catching on her lips as she watched Morrigan turn mid-air. The witch-dragon dropped from the sky, reaching out with sharp talons, crashing into the red-lyrium dragon on her descent. The two beasts wrestled for dominance in the air, hurtling towards the very ground on which the five companions stood.

'Move!' Malakar cried, and the group found cover as the dragons crashed down, a shockwave of dust and rock battering the five companions. Valina shielded her face from the worse of the onslaught. Looking through slitted eyes, she could see Morrigan – no longer a dragon – lying on the ground. The mage tried to lift herself up on shaky arms but dropped back into the dirt, unconscious as the red lyrium dragon rose to stand against them.

'The witch could be alive!' Cassandra said, 'we have to help her!'

'There is a dragon trying to kill us,' Malakar shot back, though his voice wavered, his gaze darting to her prone form.

'All the better to revive our own,' Cassandra countered as she marched forward, ready to face their new foe. The dragon was covered in scratches, bleeding profusely on its legs and neck, but still, it growled, teeth bared in a menacing display as it approached the group.

'I've got Morrigan,' Valina shouted. She stealthed, nothing more than a ripple in the air as she sprinted to Morrigan's side while Cassandra and Iron Bull drew the beast's attention away.

She dropped to her knees, sliding the last few feet towards the mage as she sheathed her daggers at her back. She rummaged in her belt pouch, fingers steady as she withdrew a phial, the red liquid glowing faintly under the darkened sky.

Valina rolled Morrigan to her back and the mage grimaced at the action, a moan shuddering in her chest. She was barely conscious, the flesh exposed by her scant robes covered in deep scratches. Valina uncorked the phial, lifting Morrigan's head, pouring the liquid down her throat, making the mage cough and splutter against the sudden influx of the bitter drought, but the moment the bottle was empty Valina cupped Morrigan's chin, holding her mouth closed to force her to swallow.

Morrigan's eyes fluttered open, gaze sharpening as the potion took hold and her wounds began to close. She shot upright, wild eyes darting to Valina with recognition.

Valina stood, offering her hand, and the moment Morrigan's fingers slid into her own Valina dragged the mage to her feet.

'Can you still fight?'

'Yes, I think so,' the witch said. She was unsteady but a determined fire flared in her gaze, though her eyes were filled with shadows, with memories Valina did not dare try to probe.

The dragon roared behind them and Valina turned. She and Morrigan were unable to do anything but watch as the red-lyrium dragon unleashed a massive breath that burned through the air like corrupted fire, their companions dodging and fade stepping away from the attack.

Valina sprinted back into the fray, feeling the familiar chill of a shield being cast over her as she dived beneath the dragon's hulking form, hacking and slashing wherever her blades wanted to bite at the thick scales. The dragon snarled, kicking at her, a heavy limb sweeping her from beneath its stomach. Her breath rushed from her lungs, stars dancing in her vision as she slammed against a stone on her way down, but she dragged her eyes open, watching as Malakar cast a final spell, the heavy stone fist he summoned slamming into the dragon's face.

A choked roar wrenched from its body, its massive legs trembling beneath its weight before it collapsed. Defeated, a red glow bathed its form before a crackling orb of light emerged from its body, the shape floating up before it shot toward their twisted spectator.

Corypheus' back arched and he stumbled, his shoulders straining with the spasms that wracked his body as the fragment of his soul returned. When he looked up, his body was still wrought with pain.

'Let it end here,' he roared before he turned away, 'let the skies boil. Let the world be rent asunder.'

He climbed further through this Black City of his creation, and Valina knew they were close – closer than the Inquisition had ever been before – to defeating the so-called God.

She followed her companions up another set of stairs, winding higher through the ruins, climbing over crumbling stone and trembling earth until, ahead, Corypheus stopped in the middle of a raised square with large pillars and cracked stone pavers, turning towards them for what they hoped would be the final standoff.

His hands clenched into fists, his scream rending the air as he bellowed, ' _I will not allow it._ '

Valina sprinted up beside Malakar. 'The Breach is getting bigger.'

'It will endanger the world,' Cassandra shouted above the mighty rumbling, 'we must stop this!'

The group rushed up the stairs as the Orb sparked and crackled in the middle of the square above the ancient magister, arcs of red lightning reaching the ground, but the moment they reached the top step a burst of magic from the orb flung them backwards. Even Cassandra and Bull could not maintain their footing, the warriors tumbling back with the others.

They clambered to their feet as fast as they could, adrenaline surging through their veins. Dorian and Malakar took positions at the edge of the square while the three melee fighters sprinted towards Corypheus. Valina watched him with her cold, assessing stare, saw the slight turn in his body and shouted out a direction before he teleported. Cassandra and Bull followed, the three converging on their foe the moment he appeared in front of a pillar, the warriors' charge pushing Corypheus back against the stone pillar.

They hacked and slashed at his haggard body while the two mages alternated between shielding spells and attacks. Corypheus grew more desperate with every moment, lashing out violently with his clawed hands and draining spells, pushing them back enough to move, but Valina's keen eye caught the subtle tells when he tried to teleport in his weakened state. The moment he reappeared, they fell upon him again, and soon he found his power depleting with every successive blow. He dropped down to one knee, clutching at his chest, overwhelmed by the synchronised attack of the Inquisitor and his companions.

The orb sparked above Corypheus and the group backed up as their foe rose on trembling legs, throwing a blast of magic at them. They slid backwards, Malakar the only one to weather the blow by ducking down to his knee, his staff wedged in the cracked ground beneath his feet.

' _No_! Not like this!' Corypheus cried out as he reached for the orb, drawing the glowing artefact into his hand, struggling to contain it as it crackled with power, 'I have walked the halls of the Golden City, crossed the ages…'

Malakar straightened, the anchor sparking, lighting up a startling green.

'Dumat! Ancient ones!' Corypheus said, focus on the orb, oblivious to Malakar's approach, 'I beseech you!'

The Inquisitor glanced at his hand, the anchor crackling with energy. He trusted his instinct, extending his arm towards Corypheus as the darkspawn magister struggled to contain the ancient artefact, his prayer echoing off the stone pillars.

'If you exist – if you ever truly existed – aid me now!'

Green energy danced with red, and when Corypheus lifted his hand to attack the orb flew towards Malakar, all traces of the ancient magister's magic lifted as the glow flickered to green in the blink of an eye.

Corypheus collapsed to his knees, slumping back on his heels in defeat as Malakar stared at the orb that floated above his hand. He raised his arm, extending it to the sky, a mighty pillar of energy shooting straight up into the middle of the churning Breach, the thunderous sound it unleashed almost deafening as the clouds sparked with green lightening for a final time.

The orb dropped to the ground, glow extinguished. Massive stones began to fall back to the earth on which they stood, Corypheus' magic fading, but Malakar's focus remained on the magister, his lips twisted in a snarl.

'You wanted into the fade?' he thundered, lifting his hand, dragging Corypheus to his feet with the power of the anchor, 'then that's where I'll send you!'

A magical green fire burst from Corypheus' struggling form, fade energy igniting around him before it imploded in a bright flash of light, and the false god was no more.

Rocks and boulders began to rain down upon them, forcing the companions to run for cover. Valina tried to keep an eye on her four companions, but the five were separated as they dodged and weaved through the ruins, making it down to solid earth.

She was forced to leap sideways as boulder crashed down beside her, barely missing her legs, the shockwave it sent out throwing her into a wall. For a moment, she lay there, half conscious as she struggled to catch her breath, but she forced her eyes open when a shadowy figure appeared at her side, heart racing for a moment before she recognised the face that peeked out from beneath the wide brimmed hat.

'Cole,' she said, sitting up against the stone. She hissed out a breath, clutching at her arm, surprised to find it wet.

'You hurt,' he said, gaze following hers to the fresh wound, her coat torn by the jagged rocks around her, her arm streaked with blood, 'stabbing, a burning pain that sears your skin.' He reached out. 'Let me help you.'

'Thank you, Cole, it's just a cut,' she said, though she did accept the hand he offered, and he helped her to her feet.

Their companions emerged from the tree line, looking up as they approached the base of the stairs. Though dark clouds remained, the sky above was calm now, the churning storm of the rift slowly settling.

'Inquisitor, are you alive?' Cassandra called, and Valina heard the waver in her voice, followed by a sigh of relief when Malakar appeared at the top of the stairs from behind an archway, using his staff for support as he came down the broken steps.

'Victorious, I see,' Morrigan said, the witch in reasonable health despite her thrilling dragon battle, 'what a novel result.'

Dorian pushed through the crowd, rushing to Malakar. A smile lit the elf's lips as his lover dragged him into a bone crushing embrace.

'Don't ever do that again,' he whispered, clutching Malakar tightly to his chest.

'What, save the world?' Malakar joked when Dorian released him, though the mages lingered close together.

He managed a smile. 'Once is enough, Amatus.'

For a moment, silence fell over the group.

'It seems the Breach is finally closed,' Valina said, eyes raised to the sky.

Malakar lifted his gaze too. 'It does look that way.'

The companions shuffled on their feet, almost overwhelmed by the moment – a moment they'd hung their hopes on for all these months – before Cassandra finally spoke.

'What do we do now?'

Malakar slid his hand into Dorian, a weary smile on his lips as he said, 'we go back to Skyhold.'


	26. Hand in Hand

**Chapter Twenty-six**

 **Hand in Hand**

The Great Hall was full to bursting with raucous celebration, two long tables packed with revellers that sat hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. Even the Orlesian nobles who had spent months hiding behind their masks and casting sooty glances as they gossiped had loosened up as ale flowed through the crowd, the kitchen staff providing a feast fit for royalty. The Inquisition's finest dispersed among the revelry, drinking, eating, laughing, dancing – whatever their hearts desired, they did – as their hopes and dreams of victory became reality.

And yet, amongst it all, amongst the celebration and fanfare, Cullen desired only one thing.

 _Valina_.

Skyhold had been so swept up by the excitement of Corypheus defeat, he'd hardly seen her since she arrived back with the group that morning. They'd shared only a fleeting embrace before she was swept away by a mob of cheering soldiers. Even at dinner, she'd been taken in by their companions, pulled onto a bench to share in a toast from a bottle of expensive Tevinter wine. It was the bottle Dorian had saved for this very celebration, and it seemed Malakar convinced him to share.

Soon, attention turned from food to dancing. From what he'd seen out of the corner of his eye between fielding his well-wishers, Bull, Dorian, and even Rainier had stolen her for a dance.

He thought back to the Winter Palace all those months ago when they first met, remembered his frustration. He'd missed his opportunity to dance with her then, and now that he _wanted_ to take her in his arms, he couldn't. How he wished he could ignore his responsibilities just this once.

How he wished he could be selfish.

Instead, Cullen had been accosted all evening by well-wishers who disregarded his polite attempts to extract himself from meaningless conversations he'd had over and over for hours. They all thanked him for his service, congratulated him for the Inquisition's success, and wanted to discuss his plans until every step he took closer to his goal was hindered by a handshake or even the occasional hug.

When an Orlesian Baroness who was entirely too hands-on to be appropriate suggested they go somewhere quiet so he could give her a private lesson in calibrating a trebuchet, he finally snapped.

She ducked away from him with a scowl and he straightened his surcoat, striding through the remainder of the crowd, but when he reached the place at the table where he was sure Valina was only moments ago, he found it empty.

'Hey, Curly,' Varric called a few places down, his voice half-muffled by the crowd around him. He jerked his thumb towards the door behind him, the one that led through the rotunda and out to the battlements. 'Her usual spot.'

Cullen waved his thanks, wasting no time to squeeze through the rest of the bodies that blocked his path. He hurried out along the battlements, through his office, and out onto the moonlit path. He found Valina there, sitting on the outside wall, feet dangling over the edge.

He slowed his steps as he approached, taking in her silhouette in the soft light of the moon. He knew he should feel that familiar spark of fear to see her sitting on the edge but to see her again in the flesh – returned in one piece, despite facing down the Inquisition's ultimate foe – certainly put things in perspective. Rather than wanting to scold her for sitting up on the wall, he wanted to spill his soul to her or express a prayer to the Maker for returning her to him, but he found words escaped him entirely. Instead, he simply stared. Even in nothing but a soft serpentstone tunic and her favourite leathers, her dark hair flying free in the soft breeze, she was exquisite beyond words.

He leant beside her on the wall, looking out. The stormy skies had calmed above, leaving only patches of clouds to hide the sparkling sky.

'You're not going to chastise me for sitting up here?'

He glanced up at her, into her bright green gaze, and a smile lit his lips. He stripped off his gloves, tucking them into his pocket before he gripped the top of the wall. The stone was bitingly cold beneath his palms as he lifted himself, but the contact against his bare skin was reassuring as he began his climb. Halfway up, as he swung his foot onto the top edge and felt his stomach dip as he wobbled slightly off balance, he started to regret his actions, but then he felt her steadying grip on his arm.

Cullen settled his heels against the outer stone, gripping the top edge, white-knuckled as he looked down the steep slope below. He took a steadying breath, focusing on the warmth of her palm as she covered his hand with her own.

'It's over,' Cullen said, staring out at the mountains below and the star lit horizon, 'we… won.'

'And yet, the Inquisition remains.'

'For now. There are still people who need us, and there are still things we must do.'

Valina twined her fingers with his. 'We?'

He glanced at her, but her gaze was locked on their hands, her thumb tracing circles on his skin.

'Valina, I know we haven't talked much about… about the– about our future…'

'We've not had much time, admittedly, we've been so busy chasing down Corypheus,' she said, returning her gaze back to the starry sky, 'so busy fighting.'

'I know…'

She tightened her grip on his hand. 'You're not about to apologise to me, are you, handsome?'

'I…' A smile tugged at his lips. 'No. Selfish as it might have been to drag you into this, despite the obvious benefits for the Inquisition, I can't regret all we've done together.'

'Even the bad bits?'

 _Adamant. Her parents capture by the Venatori and her near death. Their imprisonment at the hands of Mireille and the confrontation with Benet that followed. The Arbor Wilds._

Yet, even in the worst moments, he found her shining serpentstone gaze.

He smiled. 'Even the bad bits.'

He caught her fingers, lifting her hand to press a kiss to her knuckles. For a while, they simply sat there, as quiet and still as the fortress beneath them. The music from the Great Hall drifted through the breeze, reaching them even on the battlements. It was softened by distance but he could still discern the familiar tune of old Ferelden waltz, the sound igniting memories of dancing with his mother and sisters in his youth.

He allowed his thoughts to drift back to the Winter Palace again. So many of his memories of that night were clouded with frustration, impatience, even anger, except for the moment he laid eyes on her.

 _Leliana approached the noble, offering her hand, and to his surprise, the unknown woman accepted, allowing Lady Nightingale to lead her down onto the ballroom floor. They found their poise easily, Leliana leading the way through the moderately paced waltz. When they turned, Leliana's back facing Cullen, he felt a flash of regret spark in the pit of his stomach when his gaze fell upon the noble's unmasked face. Dark curls framed her exquisite features; her skin a warm bronze, her high cheekbones softly dusted with a golden powder to highlight them. When she smiled at Leliana with wicked red lips, he felt his stomach dip. Suddenly he wished he had been less hasty to refuse Leliana's suggestion._

 _When Leliana returned, he tried to concentrate on the information she shared with him, but Cullen found his gaze focused elsewhere. He watched Valina from across the room, feeling his stomach dip with regret once more._

 _'_ _Can we learn more from her?'_

 _'_ _Perhaps,' Leliana admitted, glancing sideways at him as he shifted on his feet. His demeanour had changed since she returned. He had lost the irritated edge to his voice, a quiet curiosity permeating every word, every subtle movement, but before Leliana could question him, he walked away, his gaze focused on Valina._

 _Nerve-wracking did not adequately describe how he felt as he approached, his heart thundering in his chest until he swore he could hear his pulse in his ears. Still, Cullen steeled himself as he eased his way through the crowd, dodging the glances and death glares of women he had previously rejected advances from, his steps nearly faltering as he neared her. He fidgeted with the wrist of his gloves and smoothed his jacket, wishing again that he had made time to have it taken out before the ball. He felt hot, the collar suddenly far too tight._

 _This is no worse than marching into battle, he decided, and no more difficult._

The thought echoed through his mind again, and he threw his leg back over the wall, dropping down onto the cobblestone path of the battlements. He stripped off his surcoat, hanging it where he'd sat only moments before, trusting the rough stone to keep it in place before he straightened and extended his hand.

'Lady Valina, my love, would you grant me the honour of this dance?'

For a moment, he swore she was reading the memories on his face, serpentstone gaze captivating him, and his heart thundered just as hard as the first time he approached her. Finally, she climbed down from the wall – more gracefully than he'd managed – and joined him on the path, taking the hand he offered without hesitation, and he drew her closer, wrapping an around her waist.

He knew she was weary from the battle and return trip, and from the celebration that followed, so they moved with half steps, simply making slow circles rather than following the dance. Their pace allowed Valina to tuck herself tightly against his chest, laying her cheek on his cuirass, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before he leant his cheek on the top of her head, loose curls of her hair tickling his neck.

He closed his eyes, trying to take in every thought, every touch and scent and sound of this moment. He cherished the warmth of her hands in his, the soft rosy scent of her silken hair. He cherished _her_ , the woman the Maker had sent to him despite the things he'd done and seen, despite all the self-loathing and guilt he'd carried for ten long years.

He'd never allowed himself to imagine a future until that night at the river by her family estate. They'd finally voiced their feelings there, reassured each other about their future even in the face of the continuing war, and confessed their love… Still, a voice had lingered in the back of his mind, out of reach of his conscious thoughts but always whispering the fears he could not voice – about the war, about Corypheus, about the lyrium withdrawals that plagued him – that instead haunted his dreams.

The longer they stood there on the battlements, hand in hand, pressed tightly together and doused in moonlight, the smaller that voice became, until all at once he realised.

 _The war is over._

 _Corypheus is dead._

 _My hands are steady._

'Valina, I don't know what happens next,' he said, voice barely a whisper against her ear, 'I just know that no matter what, I want to be with you.'

She leant back just enough to meet his gaze, watching his expressions, a curious light in her eyes. After a moment, a mischievous smile lit her lips. 'Cullen, are you trying to ask me something?'

'I…' He glanced down, heart hammering in his chest. He knew to what she was referring, and although the word had never been spoken out loud, he couldn't deny he'd thought about it, especially recently.

'Perhaps,' he said finally, almost grimacing instinctively at the evasive answer, 'I mean, not just yet… the fate of the Inquisition must be decided and I must remain commander as long as is necessary to support the Inquisitor–' he cleared his throat– 'and I need to talk to your parents, of course… but soon, yes, I want to… I will ask…'

Strong fingers caught his chin, gold meeting serpentstone, and he forced a steadying breath into his lungs.

'You,' he said, answering her smile with his own, 'I will ask you.'

He clutched her tighter as she coaxed his head down so she could capture his lips. He poured all his love, all his hope into the soft caress of their kiss, and felt it returned in the tenderness of her touch, and the way they lingered together even when they were too breathless to continue.

'I look forward to our future, then,' she said, words barely a whisper against his lips, 'and all the mischief we'll get up to.'

'Together,' he agreed.

He stole another kiss before he dropped his arms, capturing her in his embrace. He lifted her, spinning them around until her laughter echoed off the cobblestone, and he knew his wicked rogue had captured his heart forever more.

* * *

It is with a heavy heart that I present to you the final chapter of _Shadows & Daggers_. I planned to continue on into the pre-Trespasser story line, but due to recent mental health issues that have become far too pressing to ignore, I've decided to follow my original outline and end Valina and Cullen's main story in line with the _Dragon Age: Inquisition_ end game. I hope to continue their adventures in the future, and even have plans to write an AU and long-fics for a few other pairings, but for now, I will be focusing on some smaller endeavours and returning to other fandoms I love.

To all of you who have stuck with me through this journey, I cannot express in words how much your support has meant to me. Thank you, and no matter where your passion for fanfiction takes you next, happy reading 3


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